by Olivia Chase
I lean my cheek against his fingers, which are still playing with my hair. "I love you, too."
"I knew I was going to fall in love with you. On some level I knew. That's why I tried to... well, keep it from happening. But I couldn't resist you. I never could."
One dizzying snap of lightning after another, every few minutes. Gage and I watch our own private nature show for awhile, both of us keenly aware of how heavy the words we've exchanged are.
I don't think either one of us knows what to do about this. But as the storm moves further and further away, Gage and I fall asleep, having become closer and closer.
I do think there is something redemptive about a storm. New beginnings. Cleansing. Healing. The beauty and promise of rainfall flits into my dreams, in which Gage and I are walking, dancing, kissing, making love. All in the rain.
Chapter 18
GAGE
It's all I can do not to just stare at Keri with a shit-eating grin on my face for the entire class period every Tuesday and Thursday. And I know, from the brief blips in time that we make eye contact, that she's thinking the same thing.
All those bright blue eyes need to do is find me. They communicate beautifully, effortlessly, without the need for speech, or for lingering looks. I can read Keri Willis.
I meant it when I told her I love teaching. Other than keeping up with tech, and new ideas, and anything involving her, I can't think of anything I enjoy more.
And the best part? She's doing A-level work in my class, without any extra help. And without any sexytime brownie points.
Keri staying with me has gone really well so far. She told me that she's been pretty lucky in her quest to avoid both Isabel and Becker. I think it helps that she now lives across town, but it's a pretty small campus, so I'm sure it's not fun to be constantly on the lookout for your ex and your ex-best friend.
"The company website," I say to my class a couple of Thursdays later. "Now, I don't know if any of you guys ever dropped by the original website. But dear God, it was a mess."
I bring up a couple of screenshots of the first website, and the lancing of laughter reverberates around the classroom.
"We actually kept this for almost a year," I say. "And clients still met with us."
I steal a moment to check Keri out. She's looking luscious, of course, in ass-hugging black yoga pants. But she's not laughing.
Her eyes are two wide blue beams, trained on the other side of the classroom. On the door. I follow her gaze.
A figure is peering through the window in the classroom door. Brown spiral curls frame the person's face, and the livid look on her face is one I prayed I'd never see again.
No.
NO.
I move to approach the door, to step into the hallway and tell her to leave.
But quicker than any human should move, she opens the door, enters the classroom, and says, in a voice laced with smug triumph, "Hello, Gage."
Chapter 19
KERI
I sit frozen in my seat.
Natasha. It's fucking Natasha. In my Case Study class.
She's back. Not only is she still (back?) in Deer Falls, she's now in my class.
And she's staring beams of fire at Gage.
Correction: she’s now staring beams of fire—lividity and scorn—at me.
“Keri Willis,” she greets me, her tone bursting with sarcasm. “How did I know you’d still be in this class?”
For the second time since enrolling in this course, I contemplate jumping out the window to the grass below and running. “Um,” I croak.
My classmates are sharing confused looks. Any second now, they’re going to get it.
“We’re in the middle of class.” Gage’s CEO tone rings out. “You’re going to have to leave.”
“Oh, I’m about to. But first, I just wanted to apologize.”
I start. Apologize?
“Apologize?” Gage looks doubtful.
“Yeah. Apologize. To your class.” She turns and waves to everyone. “For getting stuck with a manwhore professor, who picks out his favorite piece of ass and fucks for the semester, leaving everyone else in the dark.”
Gage’s face drains of color.
“Keri,” Natasha says, pointing right at me, in case someone doesn’t know my name. “My apology does not extend to you. Obviously.”
I feel the dreaded flushing take over my face, and for the second time in a two-week span, I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. I can’t look at any of my classmates. I just can’t.
“Natasha,” Gage says, clearly fighting to sound calm. “I’m now demanding you leave my class. Leave, now. Go.”
“…the fuck,” someone mutters from behind me.
“If you haven’t put two and two together,” Natasha says, “Gage Ramsey has been fucking Keri Willis over there. They’re together. She’s been at his house, on multiple occasions. I’ve seen her.”
“Out!” Gage’s cool has vanished completely. “Out! NOW!”
“No, you’re out.” Natasha’s face reflects a victory, a serious satisfaction. The kind people get when they’ve finally attained something they’ve labored to accomplish for a long time. “You’re out, Gage. Out as a couple. And out as the professor.”
Gage takes a step towards Natasha, then stops.
“No,” I admonish him, hating myself for adding embarrassment and attracting even more attention. “Don’t touch her, Gage, not even to escort her out. She might spin it into being manhandled.”
I feel everybody’s eyes on me, and I want to disappear. But I can’t just let Gage flounder up there by himself with no support. “Maybe that’s what you were hoping for,” I say to Natasha, who’s glaring at me so hard I think she might be putting a curse on me. “Being led out of the room, so you can say it was assault or something.”
“Or sexual harassment,” a helpful opinion chimes in from the sea of desks.
Natasha now looks appalled. “Assault and harassment are serious, huge crimes.”
“When they actually occur,” I retort.
“Kind of like when taboo relationships occur?”
I need out of here.
A girl who sits near the door stands up, a redhead named Cammie. “I think you should go,” she says, trying to maybe ease Natasha out of here. “You’ve made your point. I think we get it. Just come on, go now, and maybe it won’t be a big deal.”
“Fucking your professor is a big deal.” Natasha shoots me another nasty look.
“Okay, but if you stay here, security’s going to come.”
Gage watches helplessly, looking from Natasha, to me, clutching his phone. I know he wants to call the campus police, but he’d have to look up the number, and then tell them everything. His deep brown eyes look at me, wild with panic.
I don’t know, I want to say. I don’t know what to do.
“Leave,” someone else urges Natasha. “Just leave.”
She’s already in the doorway. But she stops and looks back over her shoulder, giving us one last lovely sentiment. “Gage is only here because he’s done this before and has to lay low. You all think you’ve been blessed with some rare treat, but you’re a Plan B.” With that, she darts out of the room.
Silence.
You can hear the air conditioner running, it’s so quiet.
I put my head down, covering my face in my arms.
“Dismissed.” Gage’s voice is tired. Defeated. “We’re done, guys.”
I think everyone is sensing that he doesn’t just mean done for today.
Humiliation causing me to shake, I force myself to keep my face tucked in, waiting for everyone else to go, waiting to be alone with Gage and figure out what in the living hell we’re going to do now.
Because now, we’re surely fucked.
When I think the room is empty except for the two of us, I lift my head.
But it’s just me in here. Gage has left along with everyone else.
Standing up, legs wobbling, I coll
ect my belongings, push down a sob, and walk out of the classroom alone.
Chapter 20
GAGE
The Greenbluffs are a series of little hiking trails, accessible from a trailhead and gravel parking lot just off this road that leads out of town. From the trailhead, I take the route marked Limestone.
The hike is peaceful, serene. The terrain is hills, lots of cedar, and rocks. Above me, the Texas sun can’t decide if it’s going to stay behind the clouds or not.
I know how it feels.
I follow a creek, trekking to a spot up on the trail where the creek, which had been tumbling over rocks here and there, widens into a pool. A cluster of boulders faces me, water spilling over them, splashing into the pool.
I take a seat on a big rock, watching the water below me. I’d probably enjoy this if my mind weren’t so burdened with what’s about to happen to me and Keri.
“Watch out for snakes.”
I turn at her voice. Keri approaches, her hair a long, black braid, even darker than her yoga capris, which have faded a little. I texted her as soon as I walked out of the classroom to meet me here. I didn’t think it was the best idea for us to be talking in the classroom, where anyone could come in and see us. “Snakes?” I ask now.
“Yep.” Keri comes to my side, her face blank. “Venomous ones. You have to watch out for them.”
We’re quiet for a bit, looking at the creek’s pool. “Know why our town is called Deer Falls?” she eventually asks, pointing to the rock formation. “Look at the water. See how it makes kind of a deer shape, with the antlers? There and there?”
I do see it, now that she’s pointed it out. “Your town has a patronus.”
She frowns. “A what?”
“Did you not read or see Harry Potter?!”
“Oh.” She cracks a smile. “Yeah. I just forgot that word. Snape’s thing.”
I put my hand on top of hers. She sighs, but doesn’t move. “We’re in deep shit.”
“I know,” I say. “And it’s all my fault.”
“No it’s not.”
“I’ve been thinking,” I say. “I probably shouldn’t have been at a bar here, in a town so small. Of course I should have known I could run into students. I should have just gone to Austin or something if I wanted a beer.”
“Would you rather have met a girl in Austin?”
“Of course not,” I tell her. “I just keep racking my brain for something to pinpoint this on. That was the first domino in this series, so I guess I keep coming back to that night.”
“What are we going to do, Gage?” She looks at me, and her face is fearful.
“I got a call from the assistant dean on the way here,” I say. “There’s going to be a hearing.”
“A hearing? Like an arraignment?”
“Not that bad,” I say. “But it’s a disciplinary hearing. It’s pretty standard. We both have to go. They’re going to hear us out, and then decide whether to fire me or not.”
“And if they do?”
“Then I’m guaranteed to be sacked as CEO of Pharaoh.”
Keri’s lower lip trembles. “What would prevent that from happening?”
“We’d have to not be in a relationship,” I say. “Meaning, we’d have to both deny it, deny everything.”
She’s thinking this over. “If both of us say nothing ever happened, then that’s it?”
“There’s no real evidence,” I say. “So there wouldn’t be much they could do. But our stories would have to match. If either one of us admits to this, then I’m done at Pharoah.”
“So it’s up to us,” Keri says, understanding. “As long as we both say Natasha’s lying, then they won’t fire you and your company won’t kick you out.”
“Yeah.”
“Then it’s settled.” Keri turns her hand over beneath mine and our fingers interlace. “We’ll do that.”
“Keri,” I say. She’s so sweet, so caring. But I can’t do this to her.
“What? I don’t see the problem. In fact, this is better than it could be. We don’t have any evidence?”
“Just Natasha claiming she saw you,” I say. “Which is really the only true sentence she’s got.”
“She told our class I go to your house a lot.” Keri half-laughs. “At least it sounds like she doesn’t realize I’ve been living there. Or was.”
Her smile fades.
“You can still stay there, Keri. Fuck them, we’ll –“
“No,” she says, cutting me off. “No, I… it couldn’t last forever, the two of us in that house, it was silly to think it could. I’ll go to my parents’s place.”
“Listen, Keri,” I say. “I’ll take the fallout, okay? I mean, I’m guilty. I don’t think it’s a good idea to lie at this thing. Besides, even if we both lie and I get out of this, we won’t ever be able to see each other again.”
Keri’s face crumples, and my heart shatters.
KERI
I sit on the rocks with Gage, gobsmacked. Did he just tell me we’ll never be able to see each other again after this? Even if we both deny everything? Is he joking?
“I don’t understand,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “If you get off, why would that mean we have to break up?”
“It would be too risky, Keri. I can’t keep seeing you if I stay on at Bristowe.” He’s not kidding. His voice sounds truly sad. “I’m sorry. But the only way out of this is to just let me take the punishment and get on with our lives.”
“No,” I spit out. “That’s fucking dumb, Gage.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I know Pharoah means way too much to you,” I say. He blanches, because he knows I’m right. “Maybe we can pick things up again after I graduate.”
Gage gets this hazy, unfocused look. I let my thoughts move to late May. Could we wait until then, until I’m out of Bristowe? Would it be too hard?
“I have to go,” Gage says, sounding almost as beaten as he did after Natasha’s rampage. “I have another video conference with the board.”
I don’t envy him. I know they’re beyond pissed right now.
I just wish I could help him. I can. I just wish he’d let me.
I decide, right here as we stand back up, that I’m going to. Gage doesn’t deserve this. I was a willing participant. The least I can do is cover for him.
He gives me a long hug in the rocky parking lot at the trailhead. It feels an awful lot like a goodbye.
GAGE
The hearing is set for four the next Wednesday. I got an e-mail instructing me to report to the administration building, with its beautiful white bricks and ivy, climb the stairs in that regal building, and show up in what’s apparently a huge boardroom.
I’m one of the last to arrive, even though I’m early. They must have told the admin people to come fifteen minutes earlier. Maybe even before that.
Several of them nod at me, while others simply stare. “Mr. Ramsey,” Kevin Melendez, the dean, greets me, sounding somewhere between stern and forlorn. He’s probably both. His colllege is kind of at risk here, too. This is Joe Mackley, president of Bristowe College.”
The college president is here? Wonerful.
I look around. They’re sitting in a semicircle around a huge mahogany table. It’s about as close to resembling a jury trial as you can get at a college that, of course, doesn’t have a courtroom.
I stand on the other side of the room, awkwardly getting a plastic cup of water from the cooler. My hands fumble with it and water splashes onto the carpet.
I sense a hush in the room, and I look up.
Keri has arrived.
She looks beautiful, in a jade green skirt and jacket, something the Duchess of Cambridge would wear. Her jet black hair is pulled back, and she nods politely to the table full of jurors.
She comes to stand beside me, but gives me wide berth, which I guess is only appropriate.
I’m sorry, Keri. I love you more than I’ve ever loved any human being.
Chapter 21
KERI
The dean, Melendez, introduces his minions, except for a guy named Mackley, who’s even higher than he is. I try to stay calm. I can’t believe how many of them there are. Dean, assistant dean? Provost? What’s a provost?
I stand with Gage a few feet away, fighting to control my shaking. Is this going to be the last time we see each other? Am I only going to glimpse his face from now on in articles, or maybe recorded interviews if I’m lucky?
Nausea and fright ooze around in my chest, and I hope I don’t look as petrified as I feel. And right along with those feelings, I’m torn.
Not just about losing Gage. About denying our relationship. I know it will save him, even if it’s at the cost of us being together. And I know it’s what I have to do. But another part of me has been swelling since our clandestine meeting at the nature trail.
Shame. Guilt. Not for the affair, but for the lying I’m willing to do.
Is this what I’m reduced to? I ask myself as the dean explains, in no uncertain terms, how we’re going to proceed. Is this what I’m really going to do?
I used to be honest. I mean, a little white lie would slip out every once in awhile, like most people on this planet. But before Gage, something on this level would have been a no-brainer for me.
I think about my former best friend. I remember how she lied to me, lied straight to my face. Lied by omission for all that time, not clueing me in. I remember how hurt I felt when I thought back to her saying I’ll be honest, I think it’s a bad idea. Am I no better than Isabel now?
And what about Natasha? Her lying is what brought Gage to Bristowe to begin with. Am I on the same level as she is? Are we all fellow liars, the three of us?
Dean Melendez gives me a curt nod. All eyes are on me now.
This is it. I clear my throat, give the best guy I’ve ever known a strong, bold look of rapport, and take a step forward to face the administration and tell them nothing ever happened between Professor Ramsey and me.