“What?” I jumped to my feet, but Mervin made a slight gesture and I fell down to the blanket.
“Please, Raisha, listen.”
I tried to get angry at him, but the only thing I felt was growing panic.
“The Abyss demon got into you,” the taheert went on. “I don’t know when and how it happened. Probably when you first opened the Portal, because in the Kadaries’ camp your magic was already strange. I have bound the demon, but the spell won’t last.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe and a deafening roar in my ears drowned all the sounds. Possession was the worst curse to befall an el’Tuan. It happened rarely, just about once a century. The possessed one had to be destroyed immediately or the number of his or her victims would be similar to that of a civil war.
Mervin touched my hand and I gave a start, as if he had brought hot iron to my skin. “Somehow you’ve managed to preserve your personality. That could be the only reason I am still alive.”
Yes, I remembered my own thoughts when the shadows fled. Were he not my el’ero… Though I did not understand why it mattered for a demon.
“You had to kill me as soon as you understood!” I felt fear, anger and growing despair, all mixed up.
Why it had to be me?
Why?
If the demon got hold of me fully, I would become its wretched puppet, with both my body and my soul tainted beyond redemption. When the demon, satisfied with its murders and destruction, returned to the Abyss, it would leave my wasted body behind, and I would turn into another ever-hungry beast with yellow eyes. Even Death, the Eternal Companion, would deny me the entrance to His realm and a new rebirth.
I didn’t want that! Any pain and suffering now were better than such an afterlife.
“Why didn’t you kill me?” I asked quietly.
“I couldn’t,” Mervin looked down again. “Perhaps,” he went on, his voice betraying his doubts. “Perhaps you can be freed from the demon.”
“How?”
“If my spell endures a few more days, we will get to the old temple on the Abyss Islands. The priests there could help.”
It was the Kadaries who populated the Abyss Islands.
“What’s the matter?” Mervin noticed my wincing.
“I hate the Kadaries,” I explained.
“There aren’t any in that temple.”
“Then who?”
“I don’t know. I was there once many years ago. The priests didn’t look like the Kadaries and they spoke a different language.”
I nodded. I would be grateful for any help, were it not from the traitors’ children.
“Why do you hate the Kadaries so much?” Mervin inquired. I shrugged.
“You know their history.”
“I do. But why do you hate them? What have they done to you?”
It was an odd question.
“I have always despised them. Since my childhood.”
“Is that so?” Mervin visibly relaxed.
“Why have you asked?”
“I thought it was the demon’s influence. The demons’ masters, the Abyss Specters, have tried to destroy the Kadaries for many centuries.”
“I understand those Specters so well,” I muttered.
“Don’t you think this is cruel?” Mervin asked peacefully.
“No, I don’t!” I recalled the moment when I had to touch Stinn ar’Gor and shuddered with disgust. “Their disappearance will cleanse the Great Sphere.”
Putting my fur blanket next to the furnace, I settled there. The fire danced in front of me, tamed, small, but still beautiful, and I fed it with little black stones stored up by thrifty Kadaries. The fire didn’t hurry to eat its meal. At first, it took its time circling around, and only then, after the treat was completely surrounded, the flames began making tasty creaking sounds.
I wanted to eat something tasty, too, preferably with a golden or light-brown crisp cover and delicious fragrance. Alas, the only available food was the half of the thej-lo I had been nibbling at with a martyr-like patience. The thej-lo both looked and tasted like pressed dried grass. Still, at least hunger had stopped gnawing at my stomach.
“Are you cold?” Mervin asked.
“No,” the cabin was warm now, the air heated from the furnace.
“Why are you so close to the fire?”
“The fire is soothing.”
“Since when?” Mervin came closer and stopped behind my back. I turned around and saw his brows furrowed, his whole body tense, because before, as both of us knew perfectly well, I hadn’t cared, one way or another, about the sight of flames.
“I don’t know,” I said quietly. I no longer knew which were my own emotions and which were the demon’s influence.
Mervin sat down by my side and drew me close. There was nothing sexual in his touch, it felt like he was calming down a little child. I snuggled up to him, my cheek against his chest, and listened to the rhythmic beat of his heart, my eyes still drawn to the flames of fire, so peaceful in their twisting beauty.
I couldn’t say how long we sat like that. My thoughts flowed in some random pattern until one of them managed to push aside all the others and turned into a question I voiced, “Could the demon spare you because you are my el’ero?”
It seemed Mervin’s heart missed a beat and he stopped breathing for a few seconds. I twisted and met his eyes, full of astonishment.
“Your el’ero?” He echoed.
“Yeah,” I replied lightly and then the understanding dawned on me. “You didn’t know, did you?”
Mervin shook his head.
“How could you not?” I exclaimed indignantly. “It became clear from our first meeting!”
“You were seven at the time!” Mervin’s indignation was even greater.
“So what!” I was ready to tell the taheert all my thoughts concerning his thick-headedness but he managed to insert his reply first.
“El’eros are nothing but fairy-tales, invented by priests.”
I gaped at him, so Mervin elaborated. “The Creator didn’t divide the el’Tuans’ souls into halves, it was the priests’ idea to inspire awe. El’eros don’t exist.”
“And what about –” I began heatedly, ready to enumerate all the stories-turned-legends, but he interrupted.
“There is no need to be each other’s el’ero to love or hate. Other races have deep feelings, too, but no one scattered halves of their souls around the world!”
I shook my head. “I haven’t known you to be a heretic.”
Mervin smiled grimly. “It’s a good thing the Lord Dragon doesn’t care about my religious views.”
I took a closer look at him: a stubborn line between his brows, tightly pressed lips. For some unknown reason, Mervin refused to accept the existence of el’eros. He wouldn’t believe any proof, any words, because he didn’t want to believe. I felt he was going to cling to his heresy up to the very end. It was scarier for him to accept my truth than it was for me to accept the demon presence in my soul. I sighed.
“I won’t try to persuade you. However, the demon had all my memories and knew I considered you my el’ero. Couldn’t it be the reason?”
“It might,” Mervin said reluctantly, after a pause.
The taheert got up and went to the door. For a while, he stood on the threshold, gazing at the forest, then turned to me. “I need to leave, to find a Source. You must be careful. Don’t use magic and remember the guard can protect you from almost anything if I am delayed.”
A muzzle of the curious unicorn peeked inside; the creature noticed me and neighed happily.
I got up, too, and folded my arms, displeased.
“You must understand the necessity of finding a Source,” he said. “Otherwise I will spend all my power putting the demon to sleep, and soon it won’t be enough.”
“I understand that,” I agreed. “But why can’t we go looking for a Source together?”
I saw the taheert’s growing impatience but he restrained himself. “First
, you will hold me back. Second, it is safer for you here.”
“What about the demon? What if it awakes in your absence?”
Mervin shook his head. “I spent all my reserve putting the demon to sleep. If it wakes up during next twenty four hours I’ll still be empty and my presence or absence won’t make any difference.”
“You know, your ability to reassure and cheer up is only rivaled by your ever present optimism,” I said, but Mervin just stared at me, unsmiling. It is not easy for me either, his eyes told me, don’t make it even harder.
I sighed. He was right and I knew that.
“All right, fine! I promise to stay and use no magic.”
Standing in the doorway, I watched Mervin going, his figure growing smaller and finally disappearing among the trees.
The taheert had said he sensed the nearest natural Source at eighty miles distance from the cabin. It meant he would return in less than two days through the Portal. I desperately hoped to remain myself through that time.
Many hours passed. I had let the unicorn inside and sat hugging the creature’s fluffy body. It was easy to imagine the unicorn was just a stuffed toy magically gifted with a similarity of life: no living animal could stand motionless for so many hours without showing any displeasure. Yet the guard didn’t mind as long as his mistress was close to him and was happy with him.
Sleep beckoned and I lay down on the fur blanket using the obedient unicorn as a pillow.
I didn’t need to open my eyes to sense His presence. Father hadn’t learned to hide His power. His every motion made reality tremble, betraying His whereabouts even now, when He became but a fracture of His former Self.
“You have finally decided to fulfill your whim,” He let me feel His emotions: sadness, understanding, sympathy.
“It is not a whim, Father.” It had been our old and ongoing argument. “The Kadaries committed a crime and must be punished.”
“Their death can’t bring me back.”
I knew that. If their death could make any difference, I would have destroyed the traitors a long time ago, even at the cost of my complete discarnation.
Father’s silhouette grew thinner.
“Where are you now?” I asked.
“The same place,” he showed me a glimpse of something which was neither matter nor space. “My main part is still dormant, but the cracks in the prison walls are growing.”
I smiled.
“When you return, no traitors will be left.”
Chapter 6.
The first thing I saw in the morning was Mervin, safe and sound. Stretching, I smiled at him. Last night I dreamed about something dear to me, and the feeling of quiet happiness still lingered.
“Get ready, we are leaving,” the taheert said curtly in lieu of wishing me a good morning. I wondered why I had worried about that brute.
“Have you found a Source?” If he hadn’t bothered with pleasantries, I could forgo them, too.
Mervin bent to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I sighed gratefully, feeling power flow into my empty reservoir.
“Don’t use it! Only if there is no other choice -”
“Yeah, right, I remember,” I interrupted the taheert. “I am not the enemy to myself.”
“What is this creature doing inside?” Mervin asked abruptly, pointing at the unicorn.
“I was bored,” I tried to explain.
“You were bored, so you decided to take the Abyss beast as a companion?” he clarified.
Well, if you looked at it that way…
“Nothing happened,” I wasn’t ready to admit Mervin’s concerns had any ground.
“Not yet.” Something was making him rush.
“Will you explain what the matter is?” I said peacefully.
“I will – after we leave.”
That would do. I got up, smoothed my clothes, and suddenly asked myself a question I had been pushing away all that time: what were we to each other? Not enemies and not friends, not a teacher and his pupil, not a courtier and his princess…
Mervin had saved me from the Lord Dragon; I had saved him from the Kadaries. Were we even? Well, the taheert had also stopped the demon from possessing me. Stopped temporarily, but still stopped. And my family had died because of Mervin’s betrayal.
With all my willpower, I pushed the last thought away. Nothing would return them from behind the Veil, nothing, while I wanted to live and needed my el’ero. I wouldn’t be able to stay happy and whole without him. He could say el’eros didn’t exist; he could believe it. That didn’t change the reality. We were connected by the strongest of the threads, connected from our birth to our death and beyond.
“They are here, take them the Abyss!”
The taheert stood in the doorway, staring at the forest, and I had to rise on tiptoes to see anything over his shoulder. He must have meant those black spots, moving among the trees.
“They are still far.” I said.
“Not so many of them.” Mervin muttered under his breath before elaborating. “The Kadaries. If we open the Gate, they will follow us to the Abyss and call the others to join the hunt. The whole clan can tear apart anyone, even a demon. The Kadaries are not weaklings.”
“I know.”
Alas, I knew; otherwise, we would have already burned them to ashes.
I shook my head, tossing the alien thought aside. I had to be Riel, only Riel. With the enemy approaching, Mervin didn’t need to worry about me and the thing I was becoming.
“Can you take them?”
“Yes,” Mervin looked me in the eyes. “If you do what is necessary.”
“Must I promise not to use magic?” I clarified in my most obedient tone.
“Exactly,” he stared at me with a hard expression and I knew perfectly well what he was thinking. If Mervin died, I wouldn’t be able to control the demon alone, it would swallow my Self. The best choice for me would be to die, too, before that happened.
“How did they find us?” I asked.
“By tracking your Gate’s magic. This world is hostile to the Kadaries. They managed to open the Gate but not the Portal, and had to repeat our way on foot from the hill and through the forest.”
Almost all of the newcomers stayed quite far from the cabin, only one man headed to us, tall, thin, with hair that had only a sprinkling of black among the grey. He held a piece of green fabric in his hands, an appeal to truce.
“We don’t want to fight. We’ll leave peacefully if you lift your sleep spell.”
I frowned. I had destroyed the sleeping rune.
“What guarantee do we have?” Mervin was, as ever, practical.
“I will swear by Savato,” the old man forced out. Savato, the Power of Equilibrium, created the strongest magical-bound oath. The Kadari had to be truly desperate to offer that voluntarily.
“How many are still sleeping?” I asked.
The Kadari glared at me with pure undiluted hatred but his voice sounded level. “Just one, Stinn ar’Gor.”
So, their leader avoided the worm’s jaws. Pity. I wondered why he hadn’t awakened. Could it be because I had paid him personal attention? The pig-head had managed to overcome the sleeping rune and I had added something else. Whatever it was I couldn’t recall. Had I been under the demon influence at that time?
The silence stretched. The envoy waited but his patience wouldn’t last. The Kadaries went a long way to save Stinn, he must have been important to his people. Was Stinn their prince? Or, perhaps, a son of the High Priest? It didn’t matter, though. He was our chance to get out of here without fighting.
“I want all of you to swear by Savato to give Mervin and me all the help and support we may need, no matter the orders from your leaders and priests. You will return to Terrine immediately and spend the next three days there. You will use all your power to prevent Stinn ar’Gor from following us or extracting his revenge in any other way. Even the smallest breach of the conditions will be equal to the breach of the whole and punished with insta
nt death.”
The Kadari’s expression was priceless. I didn’t need to read his thoughts to understand – right now he was thinking of some new and elaborate way of killing me.
“We can’t agree to that,” he said as soon as I grew silent. “It’s unthinkable.”
“Then your leader will die.” My gleeful announcement made the old Kadari wince. I smiled mentally. It didn’t matter how long they would argue or haggle, they would accept all my terms.
My inner voice turned out to be right. When they announced their agreement, a transparent crimson ball, the material sign of Savato, appeared in the air. The oath was accepted.
I came up to Stinn and looked at his colorless face. His Gift was weakened; his life was fading. Still, he had lived much longer than I had expected.
One by one, I recalled all the runes that could be of use now, not the usual runes, of course, but those of the Ancients. I had to decide which to choose. The rune of El, connecting mind, soul and body? The rune of Shijah, meant to return people, lost in dreams? The rune of Mee-teh, the Seduction of Life?
Last time the Abyss beast had come to collect the payment for the use of the Ancients’ rune, but it happened more than twelve hours after I had drawn it. Here, in this snowy world, the beast would find nothing to eat.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a movement. The little unicorn had left the house and was now sneaking up to me, its yellow eyes glittering with curiosity. When the creature figured out its mistress wasn’t angry, it covered the distance between us in one flying leap and snuggled up to me.
“What does it mean?” The old Kadari’s voice quivered from rage when he pointed an accusing finger at the unicorn. The man’s face became dangerously red.
“You… ashee-hun-rrche… you, dirty witch, what damned sorcery -”
“It was I who put the guard under the control.” Mervin interrupted the man harshly. “Don’t you dare insult my companion.”
The old Kadari looked even more furious, and I decided it was enough.
“Should I wake your sleeping beauty or have you changed your mind?” I asked in my most innocent tone. The old Kadari cringed. It seemed he had forgotten about Stinn ar’Gor’s prone body.
The Last of Her Line Page 9