The Child's Secret

by Amanda Brooke

  ‘Go away. Please, Sam,’ she begged softly and felt humiliated as the tears flowed freely.

  When Sam stepped forward, she wasn’t sure if he was about to leave and, despite her words, she wasn’t sure she wanted him to. He stopped in front of her and cupped her face in his hand. ‘I can’t leave you like this. You or Jasmine.’

  Laura closed her eyes and held onto that moment. She knew it wouldn’t last, but she wanted to savour it. As she felt Sam’s thumb brush across her cheek to wipe away her tears she wanted to turn her face to his hand and kiss his palm. She imagined falling into his arms and making him promise never to let her go, but she couldn’t take that leap of faith. She was such a pathetic creature.

  As consolation, she reminded herself that she had a home, a marriage, a husband and a child. She had responsibilities, and besides, they had been happy, hadn’t they? Finn had been desperately remorseful, he had cried in front of her when he had seen the bruises the next day. This could be the wake-up call he needed.

  When she did touch Sam’s hand it was to pull it away from her face. ‘We’ll be fine, Sam,’ she said. ‘We can move on from this, we can be happy again, but not if you’re here. The more involved you get, the more it fuels Finn’s insecurities. Please, I know you want to help but you must keep away.’

  The soft click of a door being closed made them both jump as if there had been a crash of cymbals. Laura’s pulse was racing and she fought off a wave of nausea as she craned her neck to look down the hallway towards the kitchen. Her hand went to her mouth.

  33

  Jasmine’s home: Wednesday 7 October 2015

  Following Finn’s gaze, Laura and Anna looked through the window to catch a glimpse of a policeman walking past. A moment later there were voices in the hallway and then Michael came into the room.

  ‘They’ve found something else, haven’t they?’ Finn demanded.

  ‘Is it Jasmine?’

  Michael gave Laura a sympathetic smile. ‘No, not yet, although we would like you to look at something.’

  As he lifted up an evidence bag, Laura felt dizzy as the room swam around her. She didn’t want to look at what the police had found, already imagining it would be a sock, a shoe, or, God forbid, an item of underwear. Please, please, no, she repeated as her eyes came into sharp focus on a sheet of pink paper. She took a shuddering breath. ‘That’s from Jasmine’s notepad,’ she said.

  ‘What does it say?’

  Finn had made a move to take the note from Michael, but the family liaison officer kept it out of reach. He turned it over so both parents could read the scrawled message. The paper was damp and the ink had bled in parts but it was still readable. ‘Could you confirm that this is your daughter’s handwriting?’

  ‘Yes,’ Laura said, ignoring the pain in her side as she leant forward to devour every word.

  To my Wishing Tree

  I don’t ever want to grow up not EVER. Grown-ups spend too much time being really sad or really angry. I want to stay being little cos then I can still believe in you and people won’t think I’m stupid or silly. I wish I could just disappear. That’s my wish, Wishing Tree. No one will miss me except Jasper maybe. I’m going over to see him now and if he wants to, he can come with me. That would be all right wouldn’t it? I don’t know where we’ll go but far away so this is goodbye.

  I’ll never forget you and I hope you won’t forget me too.

  Your loving friend

  Jasmine x

  There was a hiss and a curse from Finn. ‘And there you have it. I told you she went to see McIntyre,’ he said to Laura. ‘She knew where he lived all along.’

  ‘But didn’t you say Sam had been out running when the police turned up at the house?’ Anna asked.

  The question was to Michael but it was Finn who answered. ‘He could have taken her with him when he went out. It wouldn’t have taken much for him to tempt Jazz into taking the dog for a little walk, would it?’ Turning to the policeman, he added, ‘You won’t find her at the house, then, she’ll be somewhere else. Buried in the park for all we know.’

  The words her daughter had written blurred with Laura’s tears as well as the rain. The note proved Jasmine had run away, but what had happened after she had reached Sam’s house? Laura didn’t want to give credence to Finn’s twisted theories about Sam, but it didn’t help that she had so little faith in her own judgement. Had she been that weak, that gullible?

  ‘Do you think Sam could have …?’ she asked Michael.

  ‘Nothing is being ruled out at this stage,’ Michael said, ‘but there’s no evidence to suggest that Jasmine has come to any harm, either at Mr McIntyre’s house or anywhere else.’

  ‘Not that you’ve found yet,’ Finn said. ‘And he’ll know how to hide the evidence. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done this kind of thing before.’

  ‘He was determined not to go back to Scotland,’ Anna added helpfully. ‘I bet his ex-wife can tell you a thing or two about the wonderful Sam McIntyre.’

  ‘We’ve haven’t been able to contact her yet,’ Michael said. ‘We think she set off on holiday this morning and we’re waiting for the plane to land.’

  ‘Honeymoon,’ Anna surmised. ‘What about his daughter?’

  Michael took a moment to consider how much more information to divulge, but seeing the distress Laura was going through, he said, ‘Mr McIntyre’s daughter Ruby died in an accident six years ago; she was twelve at the time.’

  It took Finn only a fraction of a second for his warped mind to use such devastating news to condemn the man. ‘That’s it, then,’ he said. ‘That’s why he was so obsessed with Jasmine. He wanted someone to take her place.’

  ‘Stop it!’ Laura said, and when she began to cry, she wasn’t sure if it was because she felt the horror of Sam’s grief or the fear of suffering a similar fate, but in amongst those emotions there was an element of relief too. She still didn’t know where Jasmine was and not knowing was killing her, but Ruby’s death explained so many other things. It must have been torture for Sam to see Finn holding his own family in such contempt. He had wanted to stay away but he hadn’t; he couldn’t. There were no sinister motives; he had simply wanted to protect Jasmine, to protect them both. The doubts that had plagued her earlier were swept away. Sam wouldn’t harm Jasmine and he wouldn’t put Laura through the kind of pain that he knew only too well; pain she couldn’t yet contemplate.

  She wiped her eyes and stood up as straight as her injured ribs would allow. ‘I want to go to the police station. I need to talk to DCI Harper.’

  ‘What the hell for?’ Finn demanded.

  ‘Jasmine isn’t going to come back here, Finn, not of her own accord, and I have to tell the police why. I have to stop them wasting time on this stupid theory that Sam has abducted her.’

  ‘You still think it’s a stupid theory, Laura? After everything we know about McIntyre?’

  ‘She wasn’t taken, Finn, she ran away from home!’ Laura said, raising her voice to her husband for the first time in a very long time. ‘She ran away from us and I need to speak to DCI Harper now!’

  ‘Then I’m coming with you.’

  ‘No, you’re not. I want to speak to him on my own,’ she said.

  With the family liaison officer watching Laura’s back, Finn couldn’t stop her from leaving and he remained in the house, slightly stunned, with only Anna for comfort.

  34

  Thursday 10 September 2015

  Jasmine had snuck in through the back door as quietly as she could. She had already taken off her trainers so she could tiptoe through the house to her bedroom and she was too busy watching every step she made to look up and notice her mum standing by the living room door.

  ‘I thought you were upstairs,’ Laura said, giving her a start.

  ‘I wasn’t out long. I just needed to go somewhere.’ When her mum raised an eyebrow, she quickly added, ‘For something.’

  Laura glanced at someone out of sight in the living room and a
knot of dread began to tighten and tighten in Jasmine’s stomach until she was close enough to peer around the door to face yet another surprise.

  ‘Oh, hello,’ she said.

  Sam gave her a tentative smile but still managed to look worried. ‘Sorry, I didn’t bring Jasper with me. He’s at home with his tail between his legs at the moment. He managed to trip me up the other day while I was giving one of my tours.’

  Rather than return his smile, Jasmine frowned. ‘I should have been there to take care of him for you.’

  ‘He needs a bit more training, that’s all. Maybe …’ he began, but then stopped and rubbed his face. The bristles on his chin made him look much older than he did when he was clean-shaven, wearier too. ‘I’ve got my landlady Selina on the case now.’

  Jasmine lowered her head although she kept her eyes on Sam. ‘I’m not allowed to take him for a walk any more,’ she said, her words catching in her throat.

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  Sam pursed his lips in much the same way that she was pursing hers, making her wonder what it was he wanted to say. Was he sorry too or would he try to convince her it was for the best, like her mum? Jasmine would never believe it and wished she could tell Sam that her heart was breaking. She wanted to beg him to keep telling Jasper how much she cared about him; but she didn’t need to because she had already done it herself.

  After pouring out her heart to the Wishing Tree, Jasmine had intended to go straight back home before she was missed, but she had been so desperate to see Jasper. She had seen Sam and knew that he must have left the dog at home and when she heard the sound of traffic coming from Menlove Avenue, it reminded her that Jasper was within touching distance. She knew where Sam lived. The piece of paper he had given her to make her very own crane at the caravan had been torn from the back page of one of his magazines. It had his address printed on it, and although she hadn’t seen any use for such information at the time, she had carefully peeled apart the bird’s wings after her dad had told her she would never see Jasper again and the magical bird had revealed its secret.

  Her faithful friend had been waiting for her in the back garden, as if he had known she was coming. She had spied him poking his nose through the side gate, which was locked, and so she had to resign herself to stroking him through the wrought iron bars while his sad eyes questioned why she was abandoning him. Jasper hadn’t wanted her to say goodbye and began yapping when she tried to leave. Suitably chastised, Jasmine had no choice but to use a wheelie bin to climb over. It was worth the risk of being caught by Sam’s landlady simply to hold Jasper for a few precious minutes and let him lick her face, which had been wet with tears.

  But it was her mum’s wet cheeks that caught Jasmine’s attention now.

  ‘So where were you, young lady?’ Laura said. ‘You know you’re not allowed to go sneaking out without telling me.’

  ‘I was playing with Keira at the top of the road, that’s all,’ she said, then looked from her mum to Sam. ‘I didn’t make you worry, did I? Is that why Sam’s here?’

  ‘I was just checking that your mum was all right,’ he explained.

  ‘Did she tell you she fell over?’ Jasmine said in a way that suggested her mum might not be telling the truth. Not that she wanted to even think about what might have really happened, but she wanted Sam to know that she didn’t believe her mum’s story. She wanted him to help her.

  ‘I’ve cracked a couple of ribs in my time, mostly falling out of trees,’ Sam told her. ‘It’s very painful, but I’m sure your mum will be on the mend very soon.’

  ‘Are you sure she’ll get better?’ Jasmine asked, her eyes narrowing so that Sam would realize exactly how important this question was.

  ‘Yes, I promise.’

  All the muscles in Jasmine’s face remained tense. She wasn’t ready to relax. What would happen next time? Her dad was trying to be nice, but he would lose his temper again. He always did, and he seemed to get angrier and angrier these days. Jasmine had been able to feel the anxiety seeping through her mum’s pores and it was infectious. She didn’t know what Sam could do, but she didn’t want him to leave, and yet try as she might, she couldn’t think of anything else to say that might keep him there that little bit longer. Maybe, she thought, her mum would think of something, but probably not while she was there.

  ‘Is it all right if I go to my room now, Mum?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Take care of yourself,’ Sam said. ‘And when you do play out, be careful on those roads. When I saw those kids outside kicking the ball around, they were paying no attention to the traffic and it’s easy to get distracted.’

  ‘It’s a wonder you didn’t see Jasmine with them,’ Laura made a point of saying.

  Jasmine blushed and had the good sense to say no more as she scurried upstairs to her bedroom where she retreated into the shadows and hoped no one would find her.

  Sam cut a solitary figure as he sat at a table outside a local café. The mug of coffee in his hand had been steaming when it arrived but was now stone cold. Summer’s last breath had been spent and the days weren’t only getting colder but distinctly shorter too. It was mid-afternoon and whereas Liverpool was only starting to look a little grey around the edges, Sam suspected it would already be getting dark in Edinburgh. ‘Congratulations, Kirsten,’ he whispered as he raised his mug in a northeasterly direction.

  He had thought about getting in his car that morning to make the journey back home and was surprised how seriously he had considered it. Not that he regretted turning down the wedding invitation; there was no place for him in Kirsten’s new life. What he was more interested in was an excuse to leave Liverpool so he could put some distance between himself and the people who had snuck into his withered heart. Who knew where he might have ended up or if he would ever have returned?

  But while he managed to resist the urge to flee, for now, at least, he was too restless to stay cooped up at home. He hadn’t ventured far and could still make out the southwest edge of Calderstones Park where the lush green canopy had faded to yellow, although the trees weren’t yet dry enough to catch the spark of autumn that would set the leaves alight.

  There were quite a few people strolling up and down the road, walking dogs, pushing prams or laden with shopping, but it was a man with a newspaper folded under his arm that his eyes settled on. He recognized him as a regular in the King’s Arms and, as expected, saw him turn the corner in the direction of the pub.

  When Sam put his hand in his pocket to retrieve his phone, Jasper jumped up. The dog had been dozing under the table but had heard the movement and was hoping for a treat.

  He patted the dog’s head. ‘Sorry, laddie, you have to earn your rewards.’

  Jasper kept his deep brown eyes fixed on Sam as he lowered his head back down. The obedience training was still a work in progress, but the puppy had certainly perfected the doleful look that melted Sam’s resolve.

  While Jasper crunched happily on a dog biscuit, Sam checked his mobile. Anna had stopped phoning him but she had sent a text that morning to say she was thinking of him; an act of kindness that he didn’t deserve. He had treated her badly and they both knew it. There had been a mutual attraction, but on every other possible level they had been incompatible and Sam had known that from the start. Yes, he had tried to tell her he didn’t want a serious relationship but she had assumed, and justifiably so, that Sam had more than a superficial interest in her. But he hadn’t. He had used her.

  In spite of his sense of guilt, however, he was in no hurry to see Anna again and had chosen his spot carefully. If she was planning on spending Saturday afternoon in her local, then she would come from the opposite direction. That was what made the café the ideal place to sit and watch the world go by. He checked up and down the road again before beginning to type out a text message. He took his time composing a reply to Anna’s text. It was polite and very short, but he deliberated over every word, not wishing to hurt her further or give
even the merest suggestion that he was interested in resuming their relationship.

  His neck was aching by the time he looked up again and he rubbed away the tension while glancing over his shoulder. Finn was only twenty feet away … He had spotted Sam first and was ready with a quick smile.

  ‘Hello, Sam.’

  Sam stood up and after the two shook hands, he resisted the urge to wipe his palm on his jeans. In his mind’s eye, he was already ramming Finn into a nearby wall, pinning him down and not releasing him until he knew exactly what would happen if he ever touched a hair on Laura’s head again.

  Not returning Finn’s smile, Sam balled his hand into a fist. ‘I hear Laura had an accident. How is she?’

  There was a flicker of uncertainty. Finn looked less sure of himself. ‘She tripped over her own feet,’ he said. ‘How did you hear about that?’

  Sam was prepared for the question. This was no chance meeting and along with imagining what he wanted to do to Finn, he had also practised what he would say. He had to tread a fine line between letting Finn know how much he knew without telling him how he had found out. ‘I bumped into one of Jasmine’s friends in the park.’

  ‘Oh, right.’ Finn was edging slowly past Sam. He licked his lips as if desperate for the first pint of the day.

  ‘Sorry to hear about the job, by the way.’

  ‘Yeah, well, we knew it wouldn’t last forever.’

  Sam shook his head. ‘You’re your own worst enemy. You do know that, don’t you?’

  Finn scowled. ‘Oh, I get it. I suppose Jack’s been going on about me. So what if I turned up late a couple of times or dared to ask to leave early? You’ve seen how I work, Sam. I can do the job of two men when I set my mind to it. I more than made up for the time I might have shaved off the day.’

  ‘You’re fooling yourself, Finn, if you think you can ever provide properly for your family while you let your anger rule your head, not to mention the drink.’ Sam’s self-restraint was fading fast.

  ‘But that’s the point, isn’t it, Sam? It’s my family, not yours,’ Finn hissed.