by E. F. Mulder
“Nope. I could have rented one, but putting yours on is sexier. And guess what I have on underneath.”
Gideon stopped Rudy’s hand before the zipper went all the way down. From what he could see just below the navel, he was going with nothing.
The evening was a lot of fun, even the part where Michelle “accidentally” danced into Rudy when he was bobbing for apples and ended up dunking his head. “Oops.” Then, around eleven, Gideon got a text. He grabbed Rudy’s arm and dragged him outside.
“Uh oh. You know.”
Gideon shook his head in anger. “You do realize he’s just going to ask for more.”
“I don’t care. It was tearing you up, and it’s only money.”
“It’s $25,000!”
“At least he has his house now. You can stop worrying about that.”
“Until he takes out a second mortgage again.”
“No bank in their right mind is going to give your grandfather a second mortgage anymore, Gideon. Ten, twelve years ago, maybe. That’s probably how he got the last one, before the banks ran themselves into the ground.”
“You should have told me. You should have asked me.”
“Would you have said yes?”
Gideon sputtered. “You’re not sending him anymore. And I’m going to pay you back.”
“Gideon…we’ve been together for ten frigging months. When does what I have become ours?”
“You want to share what I have? We already share Prissy. Let’s see…what else is there? A car with 89,000 miles and a leaky oil pan, and the wig and a jumpsuit you’re wearing. Oh…wait. I think technically those belong to Brett.”
“You want me to take them off?” Rudy tried seduction.
“Don’t.” Gideon put on the brakes.
“I’m sorry you’re upset. All I—”
“This isn’t the kind of decision that should have been made unilaterally. And you know what else sucks? I don’t even get to ask you to comfort me because I just found out I have cousins, too…my own age. One of them is who the text was from. They got my number from the social worker at the nursing home. I thought I was out of family. This kind of blows my mind, but instead of asking you to help me figure out my feelings about why none of these people bothered to look for me in over twenty years, I have to be mad.”
“You don’t have to be mad.”
“Yeah, Rudy, even though your heart was in the right place, I kind of do.”
Chapter 9
Though Gideon forgave Rudy within a day or so, thanks to vigorous exercise and enthusiastic sex, the incident was still on his mind the night before Rudy had to take off for Utah for his parents’ anniversary.
“My situation with my grandfather is a little like yours.” They were spending the entire day in bed, up until the time Gideon had to go to work and Rudy had to get on the plane. “A man whose opinion shouldn’t matter to me, maybe, made me feel inadequate. That feeling made me angrier than anything else.”
“Yeah. Lesson learned. I’m glad we talked through it eventually. Anger, as Kellie says, is a normal part of life, one we must deal with responsibly.”
“I’m still here. You’re still here, and I hope you end up having a good time with your family.”
“Dash and Connie will make parts of it fun…and Mom. I’m almost looking forward to it, actually. My father wants me to stay through election night. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday…” The sound Rudy made perfectly conveyed his disgust. “I’m not sure I can handle that. Mr. County Executive wants to trot out his family values. I wish I could stand there holding your hand during the photo op.”
Gideon kissed Rudy’s cheek. “Me, too.”
“Okay. Deep breath. Like Kellie said, this is about me. I’m going to show up and cherish every moment I have with my brother and my sister and my mother, and I’m not going to pretend. If one of them asks me if I’m seeing someone, I’m going to say, ‘Yes. His name is Gideon, he’s wonderful, and he makes me scream when we have wild sex handcuffed to the rod in my closet.’”
“Baby steps, Boo. Baby steps.”
Rudy did end up having fun. His voice on the phone was exuberant every time. “Okay, so the party was dull, but afterwards, we played Monopoly, all the cousins, me, Dash, and Connie. It was just like when we were kids.”
“That’s awesome.”
“I still have sixty some hours to get through, but so far so good.”
Gideon had a ton of questions, but he thought it best to let Rudy tell him what he wanted to.
“Getting a text. Hold up.” Rudy was always in business mode. “Hey. Guess what. It’s about you.”
“Me?”
“The deal I made right before Halloween?”
“Yeah.”
“The theme park in Detroit.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Just didn’t know if you zoned out when I talked business. Anyway, the Japanese conglomeration behind that is looking for someone to create original music for other venues—attractions with animatronic dancing animals and whatever. You think that might be up your alley?”
“Hmm.” Gideon sat up in bed, a bed that always felt so empty with Rudy gone. It was his first Sunday at the apartment for quite a while. “Composing? Maybe. Yeah.”
“Excellent. I’ll get all the particulars and have someone email them to you.”
“Sweet. I probably need to know what species of animals are involved, what the setting is, and all that. A jungle melody would sound different than a swamp or a zoo one…or are these the kind of animals who have human traits and live in houses with bathrooms and only use name brand toilet paper?”
“Those commercials are stupid.” Rudy’s smile was evident in his tone. “And you, Mr. Star, sound very excited.”
“Yeah. I never even thought about that kind of stuff…like who writes the music that plays on the merry go round, or whatever, or even for some of the stuff at Disneyland.”
“You ever been?”
“No.”
“We’ll go. These places won’t be opened for a while. The venture doesn’t even have a name yet, but Mickey, Donald, Goofy…sometime after Christmas…or for Christmas…we’ll go.”
“Yo, bro. Why you gotta be on the phone on a Sunday?”
“That was Dash,” Rudy said.
“So, I figured.” Gideon chuckled.
“He must think it’s business.”
That answered one of Gideon’s questions.
“Mom is making pancakes for brunch. I guess they’re ready.”
“Go,” Gideon said. “Have fun. I love you.”
“Rudy!”
“Just a minute, Dash.”
It sounded as if he was right in the room.
“Me, too,” Rudy said. “Talk to you later.”
“Later” was a dozen times off and on during the day, mostly happy chats, and then sometime just before dawn, a text came, even though Rudy had said “good night” already. Gideon was only half-asleep. Normally, he would have just been turning in. He’d spent most of the day looking over the information from a Mr. Kobyashi, the man in charge of the theme park Rudy had mentioned. Gideon had started a few basic compositions, one for a group of square dancing cats, one for poker playing dogs, like those old velvet paintings, and one for a school of fish who were actually going to school. That vignette would require several tunes as they went through each class, lunchtime, recess, etc. Gideon didn’t know if he was on the right track. He wasn’t sure if anything he’d come up with so far would end up being quite right for what the animators and engineers had in mind. It was a lot of fun, either way, and time would tell.
Look at this.
Rudy’s text didn’t have the tone of the previous chats. Gideon decided to call him before looking at the attached video.
“What’s going on?”
“My father,” Rudy said, “a big speech. Did you watch it?”
“Not yet.” Gideon hit Play.
“This country has spent too much time of late worrying abou
t this group and that one,” Russ Winner was saying as he stood behind a podium looking like President Trump, “catering to illegal immigrants and the perverted gay rights agenda, all the while ignoring…”
“You can stop now,” Rudy said. “I don’t want to hear it again. The word perverted pretty much sums it up.”
Gideon stopped the video. “He actually said this to people?”
“No. Rehearsal. One of his cronies talked him out of it. Too incendiary. I can’t stand next to him on Tuesday even if…I won’t, Gideon. I’m coming home.”
“I’ll support you no matter what,” Gideon promised.
“Let me see if I can get a flight. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them exactly why.”
Gideon waited impatiently for the next call. He hated being so far away when Rudy was going through something so stressful. A text within the hour stated Rudy had decided to rent a car and drive home.
Please be careful, Rudy. You’re upset. If anything happens…
I will. It won’t. I’m coming home to you, Gideon. Part of me wishes I had never left in the first place.
Rudy arrived about six that morning. Gideon hadn’t slept much, between worrying and writing. Still, he was startled awake in bed when the door opened. “Hey. I guess I fell asl—”
“We’re going to do it now.”
“Do it?” Gideon tried to rub the sleepiness from his eyes. “Cool!”
Rudy climbed into bed, phone in hand.
“What’s that for?” Gideon was on top of him, kissing him hello.
“We’re calling Dash…on video. I’m gonna introduce you.”
“Dang it, Rudy.” Gideon rolled away. “I look like hell!”
“Bro…”
Rudy had Dash on the line before Gideon could even smooth down his hair. “Get on video. I want you to meet someone.”
“Where are you?” Dash asked, sounding every bit as groggy as Gideon felt as Rudy held his phone up between them.
“Home. I ditched out.”
“Asshole.”
“I prefer ass-hat now,” Rudy said. “And I left for a good reason, Dash, so come on. Get on video.”
“It’s six o’fucking clock.”
“You have to be up for school anyway.”
“I look like shit.”
“So does he,” Rudy said.
Gideon scowled.
“So does who?” Dash obliged his brother. His bedhead was something else. Gideon had seen pictures, of course, but seeing Dash again now, he was struck by how much he didn’t look like Rudy.
“This, Dash, is the man I love. We’ve been together almost a year, and I hope it’s for another hundred. Say hi, Gideon.”
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Dash yawned. “Wait.”
“Yes. I’m…gay.”
“You’ve been seeing someone a year and I’m just hearing about it?” Dash was shirtless and kept scratching his armpit.
“It’s…complicated.”
“Because he’s a dude, Rude?”
“Well…yeah.”
“Asshole.”
“Dash!”
“If you’re in love with a sheep for a year, that’s complicated, Rudy. If you’re in love with a guy, tell your brother.”
“I’m telling you now,” Rudy said.
“Cool. Nice to meet you…Gordon?”
“Gideon.”
“Gideon. Don’t think me rude, Gideon, but I have to piss. I’m also happy for you both. I’ll maybe see you for Christmas now, Root Beer? Maybe you’ll stay for the whole thing and not run away at three in the morning?”
“Maybe. I still have to tell Mom and Dad.”
“Mom won’t be an issue either. Dad…you want me to tell him?”
“No. But thanks for offering. Go pee. Call me later.”
“Will do, bro. I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I had a feeling that was all he would want,” Gideon said when Rudy ended the call.
“Yeah. My brother’s pretty awesome. Now.” Rudy rolled on top of Gideon again. “About that other doin’ it…”
* * * *
Later that week, Gideon got a call from Mr. Kobyashi asking for some specs he and his associates could look over by the end of the week.
“A conference call?” Gideon paced back and forth, his bare feet hitting the toe kick under the counter, and then the leg of the couch with only three or four steps.
“You’re going to spend the next five days doing that?”
“Maybe. Ow.” Gideon stubbed his toe. “We should be at the house! Pacing here sucks!”
“You’ll do fine.”
“I’ve never had a conference call in my whole life. If I was ever going to have one, I would have rather had one twenty years ago, before there was such a thing as video conferencing.”
Rudy was in bed, barely covered, just one ankle actually. “Your handsomeness will only help.”
“Yeah, right. Only when I want something from you. I can’t even really create some of the sounds in my head with just a guitar and a piano.”
“We’ll go keyboard shopping.” Rudy sat up. “They have keyboards that do all sorts of things these days.”
“Maybe.”
“And you can pay me back when you’re rich and famous.”
“I have no desire to be either one of those things.”
They found an instrument Gideon loved. What he hated, was every idea he had. It was the middle of the night again on a Sunday. He’d torn up everything he’d written, and needed inspiration. Once again, Rudy had figured out where to find him.
“I see it’s working.” There was a dormer over a window just outside Rudy’s attic, easily accessible from inside, where Rudy stayed.
“Yes. They’ve helped me so much. Listen.” Gideon played a short song from where he sat on the other side of the open window. The tune was all wobbly and spacy.
“Sounds like underwater.”
“Yes. But I didn’t mean the song. Listen after.” Gideon played something different. “You hear it?”
“I’m not sure,” Rudy said.
“They’re laughing…Curtis and Beth. I think I’m on the right path.”
Mr. Kobyashi thought so, too. After hearing only three songs, he offered Gideon contracts for several projects.
“God. I wonder if he noticed how much I was sweating.”
“I wonder if he noticed the wig.”
Gideon gasped. “Damn it!” Because of the time difference between Vegas and Japan, where Mr. Kobyashi happened to be, Gideon had done the conference call from the Elvis’s Sing-A-Long Bar bathroom during a break. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t really notice myself, I guess, until you were partway through the interview. Hey.” Rudy took Gideon’s hands to raise him up from the toilet. “It worked. Maybe he figured it was part of your artistic process.”
* * * *
Gideon, Rudy, and Priscilla spent a quiet Thanksgiving at the house. “Winner, Winner, turkey dinner,” Gideon said as he carried a bird big enough for ten people from Rudy’s kitchen to his dining room. They’d donated several even bigger to the food pantry Gideon first learned of from Kurt, along with tons of other groceries. Gideon made sure to donate every week, in fact.
“It looks delicious.” As they sat down to dinner, Rudy still looked a mess from helping bake pies.
“There’s flour on your forehead.”
Rudy raised his hand.
“Wait.” Gideon leaned over. “Let me.”
“Did you get it?”
“Yes.” He hadn’t. He’d drawn a heart in it Rudy would see in the window over the sink when they went to do dishes together. Washing them by hand was still somewhat romantic. Gideon predicted that would soon wear off, and then they’d start using the dishwasher more.
Dash called late in the evening. Rudy filled him in on all of Gideon’s success, and Dash told Rudy all about being in the playoffs with his football team. “Maybe you can come to the big game…you and
Gideon.”
“Absolutely. Those are the kinds of things I have always wanted to do. I…I hate that I’ve been so afraid all this time.”
“I told Connie.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry. I just…I know I probably shouldn’t have.”
“When?” Rudy asked.
“Just today.”
“Oh. I haven’t heard from her, so…”
“Yeah…well…you know Connie. My guess is she’s writing a twenty thousand word email.”
Rudy’s smile was like one Gideon had never seen before, so serene and natural. “That’s true.”
“When I made Junior Honor Society it took me two days to read what she wrote me, so…”
“So, it’s just Mom and Dad now.” Rudy took a breath, as if done with half the battle.
“Yup. I swear, I haven’t said a word.”
“Maybe it’s time I do.”
Rudy received the note from Connie just as he was about to dial his mother. Not quite twenty thousand words, there were a lot of them, promising to love him “no matter what.” The tone was not quite what Rudy had hoped for. Those specific three words, “no matter what,” came up several times throughout. That and some other things she’d written made it sound as if she disapproved, but could look the other way. Gideon had held Rudy tighter than he ever had before, and Dash, after reading the copy Connie had sent him, called and talked to his brother for another hour.
“It’s not what I was hoping for…but I’m okay.”
“Good.”
Instead of the letter putting Rudy off, he used it as an incentive to keep going. Before the evening was over, he’d decided to Skype his mother, in order to come out to her, too.
Chapter 10
Rudy’s mother was stunning. She dressed for Thanksgiving like some people dressed as a wedding guest. She had dark hair, too, like Dash. Rudy looked more like his father and sister. Gideon listened in on the conversation from behind, sitting at Rudy’s desk, where he could see the Skype screen, but couldn’t be seen by Rudy’s mom.
“There’s something I have to tell you, Mom. It’s about me, and also about someone else. It felt important before…that I tell you what I am, but it’s necessary now, because what I am is in love…with a man.” Gideon expected a deep breath, but Rudy plowed right through. “I’ve been with Gideon for a year, and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I’ve become a part of his family, I think, and I want him to be a part of ours. I want…I want to be a part of ours again.”