“How could I object to this perfectly perfect reasoning?” he teased off kilter.
I rolled my eyes and kept on eating. I could see there was something off, pack wise. Every time I mentioned his belonging to it, he’d pull a face, and change the subject. And I wondered. I could give him time, but someday, we’d have to root out the evil. Since I wasn’t known for being patient, I would probably do so sooner rather than later. For now, I just wanted us to enjoy our day, without lancing the boil.
Frog was delicious. Even though I was a bit reluctant to try it at first, I ate a lot of it. It was a little greasy, but I really enjoyed it. I didn’t eat properly, and I had sauce all over my face, but at least Johan was laughing. The rest of the meal — bread pudding and vanilla ice cream — was very pleasant. We talked of this and that, and avoided mentioning anything tricky, and it was nice. No stress, no problems, just frogs and fun.
Johan talked a lot about Adélie and Esthelle. He told me that witches actually live in groups of thirteen, which are called covens. The girls had left their own, their family included because they didn’t agree with their kin’s decisions. Adélie left when Esthelle was just a little girl. Their coven had started to go down the path of dark magic, and she couldn’t vouch for it. It couldn’t have been an easy choice, but I was glad that she managed to make it and escape. It hadn’t been easy for me either. It felt nice to learn about the girls I’d been living with for months from someone else than themselves. They were so secretive when it came to their past and their powers…
We seemed unable to stop jabbering. Johan took pleasure in telling me about his life with the witches, and I told him about how I met Bridget and Milo. Time went by faster than a gust of wind, and soon enough, we were roaming the streets again, strolling. I wasn’t worried about what my soulmate had planned anymore, I was just giving into the peacefulness of the day. The sun, the noise, the laughter, our hands holding, everything was perfect. I felt free, and happy. I thought about my grandma, and how joyful she would have felt to see me like this. And that made me even more happy. Ah! If only life could be like this always…
“Shall we go?” Johan said, interrupting my stream of consciousness.
Landing back to earth, I looked around to understand what he meant. In the park in front of us, fifty people or so were taking a dance class. Salsa, maybe? Music was floating in the air, and a pair of professional dancers were leading the way. There was a smile on every single face, and passers-by stopped to watch the class. Some even decided to join. It was spontaneous, joyful, and it made people smile. “I can’t dance,” I admitted.
“Me neither, but I think that the point is to learn.” He dragged me towards the class without giving me a second to protest. In the blink of an eye, I was standing among other newbies in the middle of the park. The good thing was that at least Johan’s hands laid on my waist, and his torso was pressed against my chest. Although I didn’t need petty dance classes to get close to him, and although I was a confident, grown-up woman, a little help was always welcome to relish in being close to your loved-one. I put my arms around his neck and held him tight while he snickered. “Mad’ I think this is a slow, and not samba” he teased, rubbing his nose against mine.
It may look like an anodyne gesture, but I liked it. It was innocent, childish even, but it proved he cared about me and we could share an intimate yet not sexual moment. When he did that, I felt like a kid he wanted to reassure and laugh with, and I loved it. I loved myself as an independent woman, but sometimes, it could be nice to feel protected and cared for by the one you loved.
“Yeah well, I wasn’t on Dancing with the Stars so chill the f* out,” I retorted while he burst into laughter, again.
How cheerful could life be! I had often doubted it before, when I was going through hell in William’s pack and all. I spent a time haunted by dark thoughts. Deadly thoughts. But in the end, you win some, you lose some. Even when hope was gone, you had to believe it strong enough for it to come back. And yeah, it will never be perfect. But imperfections make life more beautiful, and help you realize how lucky you are to be alive and well. Never give up, never lose hope, there is always a way out, a way to get back on track and start over. Johan was slowly helping me smile, live, and relish in life’s simple pleasures — facing obstacles instead of running away from them or letting them crush me.
“Thank you,” I whispered to my soulmate, looking deep into his eyes.
“For what?” he asked, looking back into mine.
“For being there for me and reminding me that life is worth living. For today. For everything.”
“You’re really becoming melodramatic,” he smiled, grazing my cheek. “But you’re welcome dearest, it’s my pleasure.” He made me spin as the rhythm sped up, and I gave in.
Let’s samba! I focused on the professionals and did my best to imitate their movements so my partner would be pleased. In fact, he was kicking himself for bringing me here because I was by far the better dancer. He was moving around weirdly, he was totally offbeat, and I laughed every time he mis stepped or stumbled. “You know for a wolf, your balance truly is… so-so,” I teased, swirling in his arms.
“Your sexy moves are disconcerting, it’s not my fault! How am I supposed to focus?” he immediately answered.
His hands and his gaze landed on my hips, waving against his in rhythmic unison. I had to thank my behind for that compliment. I didn’t know I was such a good dancer. I mean, I had never actually tried before. When I was a kid, I did spend countless nights dancing in the night on the beach under my grandma’s benevolent gaze, but this had nothing to do with it. I felt really sexy and teasy.
It seemed to work, and not just with him because I could sense a couple of insisting looks in the crowd, which made him angry. He was holding me close possessively, and he growled every time he caught some guy looking at me. I didn’t care. I only had eyes for him, and as long as I was having fun, nothing would annoy me. And I thought it was fun to tease him so. After all, he’d started it with his waitress.
The afternoon went by quickly, filled with love and music. Even though he wasn’t much of a dancer, he seemed glad to look at me dancing and having fun. I guess he was just glad to check me out freely. I couldn’t blame him; I did the same thing. I mean, those skinny jeans and that slinky white T-Shirt… I really think I drooled at some point. I loved the way he looked at me too. That feeling inside my stomach… The way you see yourself depends on the way others see you, whether you like or not. William made me feel like a nobody. Ryan, like an object, with a hole — sorry, but it’s true. My friends, on the other hand, made me feel like this strong, loving alpha. My grandma, like this wise and gentle girl that helped the others smile. And Johan made me feel… beautiful. Like I was the most wonderful woman in the universe.
I felt like I was finally what I deserved to be. Like I was understood. Like I could truly be myself, regardless of what other people thought. And it felt good.
After all the dancing, Johan dragged me to the beach. There was a little apprehension in my throat, but I chased it away soon enough. I had nothing to fear from the ocean anymore. They were present in most of my happy memories, and I had no right to feel sad or afraid of them anymore. I had to be glad to be where I was today, and relish in the prospect of remembering those joyous times of my childhood.
“What are you doing?” I asked my soulmate who’d told me to keep my eyes closed, facing the water, surrounded by tourists.
“I’m practicing samba,” he lied.
I bit my lip, smiling, and thanking life for this opportunity it had placed on my path. Johan was the person I’d been waiting for my whole life, without even knowing it. The man who made me laugh, who was smart to always know what to say, or when to keep quiet, who was comprehensive and patient and who respected me for who I was.
“I’m the lucky one…” he thought — he blocked most of his mind so that I couldn’t find out what he was doing. I disagreed. How lucky could he be
to know me? It was meaningless compared to everything he brought me. I sensed him going back and forth around me, stepping away and coming back, and I had trouble keeping my eyes closed. “This is ridiculous, Mad’. I’m luckier. You can’t even imagine how…”
“Tell me then,” I interrupted.
A growl answered me, and he grabbed my hand only to start nibbling the inside of my wrist. I nearly collapsed under the weight of that burning desire that filled my soul. I already had trouble controlling myself when he was around, but it was even worse with my eyes closed. I was out of breath, and there was nothing I could do while he stepped away again. I attempted to recover my senses, but my heart was pounding like crazy. I thought the sensations we felt around each other at the beginning had faded away, but I was wrong, obviously. They were even more intense. I had simply remained in control for a while, and having my eyes closed had allowed me to let go a little, just like when he made me cover my eyes with a scarf and I had had no choice but to trust him.
I was feeling all over the place, and my she-wolf was restless. I wouldn’t be able to hold it in a lot longer. At first, I simply couldn’t jump on Johan because I didn’t know him. But now that I did, and that he was my soulmate… There was no reason to hold back and the desire to make him mine that was literally eating me alive. That was a stupid thing to have done! He just woke up my lust that had been sleeping quietly inside of me, tired of all those recent hardships I had to go through.
Eventually, he came back, and he seemed to be feeling even funnier than I did. Thanks to our bond, I could sense his desire as clearly as crystal, and it didn’t help soothing mine. He grabbed my hand with delicacy, and I understood it meant I could open my eyes. The sexual tension faded a little when the sun blinded me, and enthusiasm took over for desire. There was a red and white check tablecloth, covering the sand. This lovely wicker basket was standing quietly, and there was a bottle of champagne inside. In front of it all, closer to the water, Johan had drawn on the sand a huge heart, he’d written inside: M+ J = <3.
That was… too much. Cute, but wishy-washy. “You’re always complaining, aren’t you?” he grumbled sitting on the blanket.
“I’m not! I like it, I do, it’s just… unexpected,” I explained sitting on top of him.
“Well, better get used to it!” he smiled holding me close. “We have the heart, the champagne, and soon we’ll have the sunset.”
“Wow, I never took you for the romantic type,” I teased, kissing his cheek.
“I’m not. That’s the thing Madelyne. I’m not the romantic type. I’m not the kind of guy that sits back and enjoys life. I’m not the kind of guy who smiles or laughs.”
I frowned. I didn’t get his point. Also, the fact that he used my full name (even though it was a real turn-on) was concerning. Was he going to say that he actually didn’t care about me? The happy smile on his face was actually not that reassuring.
“But when I’m with you, I am all those things. I want to be romantic. I want to enjoy life at its fullest. I want to smile and to laugh. Don’t you get it, Mad’?” His eyes met mine. They were filled with emotion, and beady. “I’m luckier” he said softly, “because you saved me from the lifetime of pain and suffering that was planned for me. I still want to avenge my parents, but it doesn’t matter as much as it used to. It’s not eating me alive anymore. What matters now is you. Now, I can love and be loved, and I’d forgotten what it felt like. I’d forgotten that love is the only medicine against the woes of this world. So that’s my answer. I’m lucky I found you because you let me love again. And I know you’re gonna say that we only met like two seconds ago, and that we’re not even together, but that’s just the way things go. You saved me from hatred, Mad’.”
My heart flew away and landed on the moon. It was the most beautiful declaration of love I ever received. Ever. And I couldn’t possibly receive a more beautiful one in the future. Up till now, I never saw what it was that I brought Johan. I didn’t mean to brag, but I understood that I meant a lot to him. I just figured it out. And now that I’d understood, words were unnecessary. I answered with a smile filled with emotion and tears and leaned towards his lips.
Time stopped. The sun burst into a thousand rays and pierced my soul. The sea and the backwash froze and reflected the light as if the water was but glitter. The noise, the laughter, the screaming, everything stopped, and we were wrapped up in this cocoon of silence.
I hadn’t even kissed him. I just grazed his lips with mine. They were warm, and soft. His hand touched my cheek, and he pulled my face against his and kissed me, unable to resist our newly found gravity. The world stopped spinning. Our souls met again. And soon enough, our tongues hugged and never let go. My hands grabbed his hair, and he held me tight. When we ran out of breath, our lips parted and the world started spinning again, as if nothing ever happened, leaving us at sea, our foreheads touching, panting.
We stayed like this forever. It was a short forever, but it was ours. That kiss would forever be eternal and unforgettable. And then, Johan sighed and there was this bright smile on his face. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, Mad’! You were supposed to wait for the sunset and for the champagne before you kissed me!” he scorned with mischief, grazing my lips to piss me off — because he knew I’d be all over the place because of it.
“Yeah, well you should have waited for all those things before you made me this declaration! I can’t help it if you suck,” I answered joyfully.
He started laughing, and I took the opportunity to happily gaze at him. He covered my face with little kisses — lips included this time. He seemed unable to get enough of my mouth, and likewise. It was getting hotter by the second, and it was harder and harder to control my desire to jump on him.
I hastily took his shirt off, and I sensed bathers looking at us with a critical and shocked eye. Come on… We were at the beach! All the men were shirtless, so I didn’t see why my man should be clothed. And besides, he didn’t seem to mind. He kept kissing me and my hands wandered on his torso. When I touched his skin, I felt his heart pounding like crazy. As loudly as mine. This was not going to end well. I had to stop now. My fingers had even dared touch the top of his jeans, so I hurried to get them back around his neck, pulling his hair while biting his bottom lip.
He growled lewdly and pushed me away. He was out of breath, and his eyes were lecherous. “Mad’” he panted. “I think we should wait until we’re alone to do… that.”
“Really? Too bad, I was looking forward to making all those people jealous…” I whispered, kissing him again.
I couldn’t help it. It had become vital. I didn’t want any restraints anymore. I had to touch him, always. My she-wolf was enthused and glad to have won over me. She was glad to finally get her hooks on her mate, and only desired one thing: mating. As for me… I didn’t know. I mean, I really wanted to, but I just thought that it was a bit too soon. I could probably use a couple more hours… More like a day, give or take. I felt Johan’s smile against my lips.
“Twenty-four hours?” he whispered as his mouth went down towards my jawline. “I might just take your word for it…”
“More like my thought.”
“I love those stupid jokes,” he teased, and his lips teased mine as well.
“Then I’ll keep on making them,” I answered, pulling his hair, and he sighed with ease.
“I shall drink to that.” He let go of me to grab the glasses and the champagne. Since I was still sitting on top of him, I laughed at the sight of him trying to get to them, which was hard because I didn’t move an inch to help him. He somehow managed to take everything out of the basket, and pulled the liquid in the flutes
. I looked deep into his eyes as I asked to bother him: “What shall we drink to? Jokes?”
“Or the weather? Or maybe our friendship?” he suggested. I hit his shoulder, and he snickered before kissing me softly to be forgiven for that terrible word — friendship. I was friends with a lot of people, and I guess he h
ad friends too, but we were so much more than mere friends.
“To what happens in twenty-four hours then?” he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him and sensed inappropriate aggravation around him. Since I was a busybody, I looked into his head, even though he tried to stop me. And then I saw it. Johan didn’t want to mate. I literally heard my heart shatter. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I didn’t see, I sensed.”
“Madelyne,” he sighed. “I thought that you being a snooper little thing, you would have dug deeper when you found something you didn’t like. And if you had, you would have realized that it’s not what you think.” I put down my glass of champagne and crossed my arms, waiting for him to give me an explanation. “I… I just want you to be sure,” he confessed, ill-at-ease. “I don’t want you to feel coerced or pressured into doing anything you don’t like. I mean, after everything that happened with Ryan… I feared I might have rushed things between us and I don’t want to. I just want you to feel safe and happy and a thousand percent sure.”
“You’re amazing,” I managed to answer, half-surprised, half-annoyed.
Just because something had happened with Ryan didn’t mean that I'd become this fragile little thing that needed to be protected. Yes, I’d been hurt. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a tad anxious about taking things to the next level with Johan. But I wouldn’t let Ryan get in the way of my relationship. I wanted Johan. And maybe I wasn’t ready. But maybe I was. It wasn’t as if I’d never been with a man before. And Johan was my soulmate, I wouldn’t be able to resist that voice screaming inside begging me to mate with him forever. I wanted to. I was sure. A zillion percent sure. However, considering his perception of this situation, he may want to see for himself that I was alright. So be it. We had all the time in the world. I’ll prove to him how ready I was and how much I wanted him, how much I craved his touch, how in unison we were and how okay I was.
He smiled when he understood my thoughts, and I felt he was reassured, even though still a little concerned. “But rest assured,” he whispered in confidence, “I want you, Mad’.”
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