by M. L. Rice
Bryce felt the breeze from behind before her two friends cornered her at her locker before lunch. “Geez, guys. Were you actually running?”
Jennifer and Arati stood staring at her, hands on their hips. They looked like twins despite the obvious difference in their ancestry. “We just heard Leah talking with Angela.”
Bryce felt faint. What had Leah let slip? “Yeah, so? People are known to talk with their friends on occasion.” She knew she was being overly defensive and that pointed out guilt more than anything.
“Okay, Miss Hides Things from Her Best Friends in the World Even Though They Tell Her Every Little Detail of Their Own Boring Lives. Talk.” Arati was fighting the urge to smile.
“What do you mean? What did Leah say?”
Jennifer took the reins. “She was just gushing about how much fun she has had hanging out with you, how you two seem to be getting a lot closer, and how she was looking forward to the next time you ask her over.”
Bryce let out the breath she had been holding. “Is that all? What’s the big deal?”
Arati answered, “Listen, Bryce. We’re not stupid. We tell you that she has a crush on you and now you’re inviting her over…alone?” She paused for effect. “You like her.”
“Yeah, of course I like her. She’s really nice.”
“Don’t act dumb, Bryce Lee Montgomery. We’ve noticed you acting differently.”
Crap.
“I’m so not talking to you guys about this in the hallway of Saltus frickin’ High School. Come on, let’s go to lunch.”
Arati and Jennifer shared a victorious look and then nodded in unison.
They sat down to eat at the taco fast food restaurant a block from the school and Bryce stayed silent, focusing on her bean burrito as if it was an incredibly complicated work of art. She couldn’t get away with it.
“Bryce. Talk.” Arati had finished her quesadilla in record time, in what Bryce assumed was full preparation for a lengthy discussion.
Bryce slowly swallowed her bite and then let out a sigh before saying quickly, “Okay. So, yeah. You guys told me that Leah has a crush on me. For some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about it and…well, I think I might like her too. There. Happy?”
Bryce jumped as Jennifer and Arati squealed as one. That wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting. Of course, she hadn’t known what to expect.
“Come on, guys. It’s not that big a deal. I’m not saying I’m…gay…or anything.”
Jennifer tsked. “Labels are limiting—”
“Have you told her you have a crush on her too?” Arati interrupted, clearly excited by the news.
“Well, not in those words, but…” Bryce felt her face slowly heating. The blush didn’t go unnoticed by Arati, who lived to revel in the affairs of others.
“Oh my God, Bryce. Give us all the details. What did you guys do?”
Jennifer elbowed Arati in the ribs. “Arati! Calm down. This is obviously freaky for her. Stop being so nosy!”
Bryce smiled sheepishly. “No, it’s okay. If I can’t tell you guys, who can I tell?” She took a calming breath. “We…made out a little.”
Yet another squeal from Arati.
“But it didn’t turn out so well.”
Arati’s squeal cut off with comical suddenness. Bryce could practically hear the expected scratch from the record needle.
Jennifer looked concerned. “Why? What happened?”
“I thought about…him.”
The faces of her friends paled as one. Bryce lowered her head.
“Oh, Bryce, I’m so sorry.” Jennifer reached out and laid her hand on Bryce’s clenched fist.
Bryce’s breathing was ragged, but she continued. “So anyway. I don’t know if this is going to be a problem or not. I mean, they’re cousins. She does look a lot like him, now that I think about it. I don’t think I have the time to work through it, either. I’ll be leaving for Connecticut so soon…”
Jennifer let go of Bryce’s hand and sat back in her chair with a sigh. “You don’t have to figure out anything right now. This is a new experience for you, and you have the rest of your life to sort it out. If you want my advice, which I know you do because I’m always right, just let things happen. Don’t force yourself to do anything and don’t freak out if you get confused. This is totally normal after what you’ve been through. And, you know, maybe you should talk to your mom.”
“Oh, hells no! What do you want me to say? ‘Hey, Mom. I was almost date-raped at prom and now I’m making out with the dude’s cousin and, gosh darn it, I think I might be a lesbian!’ Yeah. That’d go over really well. She’s not the most liberal person, you know. She’d probably call for an exorcism.”
“But you’re not Catholic.”
The very Jennifer-like statement was so matter-of-fact that Bryce had to laugh. “Trust me. She wouldn’t care. But anyway, lunch break is almost over. Let’s get back, but please don’t tell anyone about this, okay, guys?”
“Bryce, you know us better than that.” Arati got up from the booth and the others followed. “We’re just happy that you’re finally interested in something other than school and your gorgeous physique, aren’t we, Jenn?”
“Absolutely. We were starting to think that you were going to become a Coast Guard nun or something.” Bryce looked at her incredulously. “Oh, come on. You are pretty one-track-minded. It’s about time you got to hook up with someone and feel raging hormones like us lowly humans.”
Bryce turned suddenly and pulled both of her friends into a hug. “I have no idea what I’m going to do without you both while I’m at the academy.”
*
The next three weeks passed in a blur. Bryce had started running again, she did copious amounts of homework, and almost every day after school she spent a few hours with Leah at one of their houses. Despite what Arati insinuated daily, they spent most of their time together studying for finals, listening to music, or watching funny cat videos on YouTube. Her friends didn’t really need to know about the make-out sessions, did they?
Her every thought was of Leah. Her every waking moment was spent thinking about her, wishing she was kissing her, dreaming about what they would do together when they finished college. This was what always stopped the blissful thoughts cold. After college? What about during college? Bryce was a realist, and she just couldn’t see how their new relationship could survive such a long distance. Maybe it wasn’t meant to. Maybe this was just the universe’s way of setting Bryce on her proper path. Maybe it was just a brief moment of pure joy that would form the basis of her future relationships.
Her logic was failing her for the first time in her life. Never had her emotions dominated her so completely. It scared and thrilled her at the same time. Her reason warned her against getting too attached. Her heart stubbornly ignored it. This was her time. She’d enjoy it for as long as she could.
“I can’t believe it all ends tomorrow,” Leah said wistfully as she flopped down onto the bed after hitting play on her iPod. A quiet and baleful male voice accompanied by an acoustic guitar soon drifted dreamily from the speakers.
“It’s not ending. It’s beginning,” Bryce said as she rolled onto her side and draped her leg over Leah’s.
“It’s weird to think about, though. All we’ve ever known is parents, school, home.”
“I know what you mean. But graduation is just the start of the rest of our lives. And it won’t be so different really. We’ll obviously still have school, at least for a while, and our parents and home aren’t going anywhere. You especially. You could see them every day if you want. I’ll be all the way on the East Coast.”
Leah laughed. “Don’t you dare say I’ll see my parents every day. I love ’em to death, but I so don’t want them anywhere near my college years. It’s going to be majorly sucktastic to still be in the same city. What if their friends at SSU see me doing…something bad?”
“Something bad? Perfectly behaved little angel Leah? Right,” Bryce tea
sed.
Leah punished her for it with a light swat on her backside. “Hey. I plan on making the most out of my time at college. Nothing crazy like drugs or rampant sex orgies—”
“Damn well better not!”
“But I plan on…I don’t know. Having a good time, I guess.”
“Sounds like a plan. I don’t know how many parties, rampant sex or otherwise, will happen at the academy. Doesn’t seem like kegs, Solo cups, and late-night benders would be easy to come by when everyone lives on a military campus. I’m still excited, though. Parties aren’t really my style anyway.” Bryce unconsciously curled up closer to Leah’s warm body.
“Well, I guess we’d better make sure you have enough fun now to last you all four years.” Leah raised herself from the bed and repositioned herself directly above Bryce.
“That,” Bryce said, pulling Leah down to rest on her, “is the best idea you’ve had all day.”
Chapter Eight
Bryce threw her mortarboard into the air as the auditorium burst into applause and the orchestra played “Pomp and Circumstance.” Her gold honors sash swung on her shoulders as she joyously ran around hugging all of her friends. She knew her parents were watching from the balcony, and as she thought of them, her cell phone buzzed. Sure enough, her dad came up on the screen as the caller. She answered, having to yell over the crowd. “Dad, meet me outside by the car…No, by the car…I can’t hear you. I’ll be out in a little bit.”
As she tucked the phone back under her robe she was nearly knocked over as two pairs of arms wrapped around her from behind.
“We did it! We’re outta here!” Arati yelled gleefully as she bounced up and down, still holding on to Bryce and Jennifer.
Bryce just laughed and reveled in the excitement of the moment. The fear of change and the sadness at the separation from her friends lingered in the back of her mind, but she was determined to ignore it.
Her friends finally let her go and pulled her toward the exit. Before they could get through the crowd of people and around the discarded caps that littered the floor, Bryce was stopped by a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see Leah beaming at her.
“Hey there.” Bryce smiled back.
Arati and Jennifer were pulled to a stop when Bryce turned around, and now she could hear them moving away politely, giving her a chance to talk to Leah alone.
“Congratulations!”
“You too!”
“Your salutatorian speech was amazing!”
Bryce grimaced. “I thought I was going to pass out!”
“Well, nobody could tell.” Leah leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Yours was way better than Jonathan’s valedictorian speech. His was so damn boring. ‘Your future is a winding road. Don’t forget to take the scenic route every once in a while. Life doesn’t always have a working GPS.’ Blah blah blah. Yours actually excited me.”
“Oh, I excited you, hmm?” Bryce smirked and Leah’s cheeks reddened.
“Can you come with me for a sec?”
Bryce glanced back at her two friends and held up a finger to get them to wait for her. They nodded and started taking pictures with some of their fellow graduates.
Leah took hold of Bryce’s hand and led her through the blinding pops of hundreds of camera flashes, out of the auditorium through a side door, and into a deserted hallway. The noise from the main hall was instantly muffled as the door closed behind her. Bryce leaned back against the wall, thankful for the relative quiet.
“Wow. That was intense,” Bryce said as she relaxed.
“I know what you mean.”
“So. What’s up?”
Leah paused. “Are you going to the senior lock-in at the SSU rec center tonight?”
Bryce had been avoiding the subject with her friends. “Um, no. No, I don’t think so. I’m all partied out this year, if you know what I mean.”
Leah nodded understandingly.
“Why, did you have something else in mind?”
Instead of answering Leah leaned in slowly and kissed Bryce softly on the lips. Her heart immediately felt like it was going to jump through her chest. Despite having spent the last three weeks of school in Leah’s company, every time they kissed it felt like the first time. Yes, this was indeed what it was supposed to feel like.
Bryce reacted by pulling Leah into a fierce hug and kissing her back with all of the energy she could muster. The adrenaline of the afternoon only fueled her reaction. She didn’t feel the need to pull away from Leah anymore. Not since that first time. A thought of Michael appeared in the back of her mind, but then floated away as if it had never existed.
Eventually they relaxed and drifted apart.
“Wow,” Bryce said succinctly.
“Yeah.”
“What was that for?”
“Why not?” Leah smiled slyly.
“Good point. So. Do you want to hang out at my house instead?”
“That sounds perfect.” Leah smiled with what appeared to be relief. Bryce guessed that Leah’s shyness made hanging out at crowded parties low on her list of things that she wanted to do.
“Perfect. Call me in a few hours. My parents are taking me to an early dinner at Madame Josephine’s to celebrate. Their béarnaise sauce is to die for.”
“Will do. My parents are taking me out too, so I’ll call you when we get back.”
Bryce squeezed Leah’s hand and turned to go, but stopped suddenly to turn around and place a last quick kiss on her cheek. Leah beamed at her as she walked away.
*
Bryce paced back and forth in her room, picking up her phone every few minutes to make sure the battery hadn’t died. She had eaten a delicious dinner with her parents, but all she could think about now was having Leah back in her arms. Warning thoughts continued to sound in her head, but she tried her best to fight them. Still, what was she getting herself into? She would be leaving for school in only one month. Did she really need to have a long-distance relationship to worry about? And what about the whole lesbian thing? That had been a shock to her, but in normal Bryce fashion, she had taken it in stride and would own it as best as she could. She wasn’t one to shy away from a challenge and was comfortable enough with herself to accept any new self-discoveries with an enviable matter-of-fact confidence.
She jumped as her familiar ring tone played at full volume, and she almost tripped over her own feet rushing to pick it up.
“Leah!” She heard a laugh on the other end.
“Hi, Bryce. Are you done with dinner? My parents and I just got back from eating at the country club.”
“Yes, I’m home. Come on over!”
“Cool. Be there in ten.”
Bryce pressed the End Call button and sat down on her bed. She put her hands over her face, trying to force herself to keep it together. Years of studious learning, practicing, working out, and a single-minded will to succeed had caused this sudden flood of emotion to take hold stronger than she suspected was normal for a young woman her age.
“Don’t let this get away from you, Bryce,” she said out loud to herself. “You don’t want to get hurt right before you finally get out of here.”
Still, the urge to see Leah again and bury herself in her embrace overrode all rational thought.
Before she knew the minutes had passed, Leah was knocking on her door. Bryce sprang to her feet to let her in. She had changed from her dress and graduation gown into her favorite pair of ripped jeans and a faded concert T-shirt. When she opened the door she saw that Leah had also gotten more comfortable and was wearing soft cotton cargo shorts and a Saltus High Orchestra shirt. She had forgotten that Leah was a viola player. She would have to get her to play something for her some time.
“Hey.” Bryce couldn’t help the smile that formed.
“Hey.”
“Come on in. I picked out some movies if you want to watch something. I have something from almost every genre because I didn’t know what you’d be in the mood for.” Bryce led Leah to
the stack of DVDs on her dresser as she rattled off the names. “I picked out Poltergeist for horror, My Fair Lady for musical, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion for comedy, The Cutting Edge for romance,” Bryce blushed as she said it, “Queen Christina for classic, The Fifth Element for sci-fi, Heavenly Creatures for just plain weird, Glory for war—”
“Bryce,” Leah interrupted.
“Yeah?”
“While I totally appreciate all of the thought that went into these excellent selections, I kind of just want to sit and…talk for a while.” She smiled hopefully.
“Oh! Yeah. Sorry. Here, have a seat.” Bryce moved to her bed and sat with her back against her headboard. Leah sat at the foot of the bed facing her.
There was a brief lull, but finally Leah said, “So. We’re high school graduates now.”
“Yeah. It’s kind of a relief, but at the same time, I’m scared to death.”
“I bet it’s even harder for you. Going off to the East Coast, joining the military, leaving your friends and family.”
Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am and now I’m terrified. I mean, I’m excited too, but just…you know. It’s scary.”
Leah paused again, biting her lip like she was afraid to say something.
“What’s wrong?”
Leah glanced at Bryce and then stared down at her clasped hands. “I just can’t help but think about how bad this timing is.”
“What timing?”
Leah moved her hand in a sweep between herself and Bryce. “This timing. Us. I mean, I don’t want to put a label on this, but are we dating? Are we girlfriends? Is this something we need to think about with you going away?”
Bryce thought about it for a few minutes before saying, “You know? This is just as new for me as it is for you and I’m worried about the same things, but I’m thinking we just take it one day at a time and see what happens. All I know right now is I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve made me feel things that I’ve only seen in movies and read in books. That’s cheesy, but it’s true. And the weird thing is it has all happened so fast!”