I literally felt like I was at a fork in the road. My heart said, “Stay, work on it, love Carter and let him love you.” My brain told me, “You’ll only get hurt. He'll go back to Madeleine, the only woman he admitted had always been there for him. He'll never be able to resist the charm and beauty of Nikki the next time she flirts with him at an event.” My stomach rolled in agony over the decision that I had to make.
"Will you take me back, Eva? Will you ever want me again?" He placed both hands on my shoulders.
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I always want you, Carter, but we have a lot to get past. There is so much behind us and so much we still need to get through." I sat in front of him dejectedly.
"We will. I promise we will. No more walls. I swear to God, I’ll never block you out again. You make me whole in a way no one else ever could." He caressed my cheeks with his hands. I leaned into his body and let him envelop me.
I curled into him as my body shuddered with all of the tears I’d shed over the last day. My brain swirled with anger and hurt and love and confusion.
"Here, let's get you some water and then we can talk. Or we don't have to; we can do whatever you want. Just let me take care of you, Eva." He held me tight to him and placed a kiss on my forehead before picking me up in his arms. I wrapped my body around his and nuzzled into his chest as he carried me up the stairs. He laid me in his bed and then passed me a bottle of water. I took long sips from it and then curled up in his arms and slept the rest of the night.
Three
"Wake up, beautiful girl." Carter nuzzled into my neck and placed sweet kisses on my sensitive flesh. I released a happy sigh and rolled into him, curling my arms around his neck.
"As much as I’d like to stay wrapped in your arms all day, we have lots to do." He continued to place kisses on my neck, my nose and my lips. A smile curled up at the corners of my mouth as I pecked him back.
I stretched my arms above my head and heaved a sigh before my eyes fluttered open.
"You are beautiful first thing in the morning." His handsome smile came into my vision. I rolled my eyes. They felt swollen and heavy from crying so much the last few days.
"You slept like a rock. I think I heard snoring coming from your side of the bed," he smirked.
"I definitely do not snore." I grinned at him.
"Sawing logs. Kept me up last night."
"No way!" I tossed a pillow at his head.
"You're right. That wasn’t what kept me up." He slid his hands up my torso suggestively. I relished his touch after the last few days worrying about what our future held.
"I would love to stay here all morning with you, Mrs. Morgan, but I’ve got calls to make. First line of business is getting you moved in." His eyes gleamed with happiness.
I heaved a heavy sigh as his words rattled around in my brain.
"I also want that ring back on your finger, like, yesterday." He grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my naked left ring finger.
"Carter." My eyes pooled with emotion. I dreaded bursting his blissful bubble. "We need to talk."
"We will. But we can still get you moved in here."
"No."
"What do you mean no?" He pulled away from me and narrowed his eyes in what looked like hurt and confusion.
"I want to talk first."
"I told you, we will talk. But we can talk while you go to bed with me every night and wake up with me every morning." One of his hands rested on my hip and held me firmly. I bit my bottom lip dreading where this conversation may lead. After I expressed doubts in Aspen at the wine festival, he didn't have a very good track record for taking them well. But he would just have to get over that.
"I don't want to move in first. Our relationship has been a whirlwind—from meeting, to dating, to proposing, to marriage—it makes my head spin. And with the most recent situation..." I trailed off quietly. After the emotional shitstorm of the last few days I was wary of bringing this up again. "I just want to get to know you better," I finished.
"You know me better than anyone," he said frankly.
"Well, I want to know you better," I shot back. He stared at me for a few breathless moments. I held his gaze, refusing to back down.
"We're married, Evangeline. We'll get to know each other as man and wife."
"Don't even pull that Neanderthal bullshit on me, Carter Morgan. We got caught up in the moment when we got married. It was beautiful, and the time we spent in Aspen was perfect, but we have a ton of shit to work through. I love you. I want to stay married to you. But I want to move a little slower than what we're used to. I want to talk, a lot. I don't even know your middle name; there's so much we need to figure out." I crossed my arms and glared at him.
"Jonathan."
"What?"
"My middle name. Carter Jonathan Morgan. Mom calls me Carter Jon when she's mad." He crossed his arms and watched me. I rolled my eyes at the mock faceoff we were having.
"I'm not moving in yet, Carter Jon." A small smile played on my lips.
"This discussion is not over." He grinned as he backed off the bed. "Coffee's in the kitchen." He sauntered out the door. I narrowed my eyes at his retreating form. If his ass didn't look so delectable in those jeans I still might very well be mad at him.
"Are you going to work today?" I stepped into the kitchen a few minutes later and poured coffee into a mug. I walked to the fridge and found the creamer I liked. He must have noticed the flavor I'd used in Aspen. A smile lifted my cheeks that he'd noticed something so small, but that was Carter, oblivious was never his style. I drizzled creamer into my coffee and then joined him at the small kitchen table.
"No. I thought we could stay in today and talk." He gave me a sarcastic grin.
"Well, I have stuff to do, I can't stay in." I sipped my coffee and peered at him over the edge of the mug. His face fell instantly.
"What do you mean you have stuff to do?" He glared.
"I have to work for a while. And I promised Cate and Sawyer lunch." I froze as soon as the name slipped past my lips. Carter's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.
"You're going out with Sawyer?"
"And Cate." I arched an eyebrow, daring him to say more. He watched me for a few moments before he brought the coffee mug to his lips and took another drink, never breaking eye contact with me.
"Is that a good idea?"
"Why wouldn’t it be?" I shrugged nonchalantly. I knew I was baiting him, but there was no more hiding. We'd had this discussion, and I wasn't willing to revisit.
"Just want to make sure. We have a lot of things to talk about, I don't want you to get distracted."
"I won't." I smiled at him innocently. A small huff escaped his mouth and my eyes gleamed in victory as I took another drink of my coffee.
"Make sure you wear your ring," he grunted.
"Will do, sweetheart." I gave him my best charming smile.
"Cute. You can spare a few hours for your husband, can't you?" He rose from his chair and tipped my chin up to meet his lips. He engaged me in a long and leisurely kiss. I knew it was an invitation.
"Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Morgan?" I pulled away with a smile.
"If that's what it takes." He hauled me up out of the chair and carried me into the living room, our lips locked the entire time. He laid me down on the couch and curled up with me, one leg thrown over my own, an arm slung around my waist and his fingers dusting along the exposed skin at my hip. The small touch made my heart race and my nerves buzz. There was that electrifying charge in the air between us again.
I leaned into his body and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. I caressed his lips with mine slowly… teasingly… savoring his taste. I slid my hand along the sharp right angle of his jaw, making my heart quicken. He slid one hand into my hair and held me firmly at the nape of my neck, increased the pressure of our kiss, urgently taking me deeper.
I rolled over onto him and made contact with his body, my front lying fully against his
. Our bare feet tangled together and he held my head with both of his hands, fingers entwined in my hair. I moved my body against his minutely and could feel him, hard against my center. A soft groan escaped his throat as I pushed into his body firmly.
"I missed you so much," he whispered against my lips. I moaned into his mouth as I slid my tongue against his. "I want to be inside you, Evangeline," he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my neck and causing goosebumps to run down my body. His hands slid under my shirt to make contact with my skin. He smoothed and caressed and tickled. One hand grabbed the back of my bra and tugged roughly as he bucked his body into me. I pulled away from his lips slowly, my teeth scraping along his bottom lip, nipping just before I let go.
"You drive me wild," he exhaled in a throaty groan.
I pulled away for a moment, lifting my top over my head. His eyes shone with lust as they perused my body. I crossed my arms over my chest sliding the straps of my bra down each arm.
"Tease." He grabbed the top of each bra cup and pulled down, exposing my aching breasts to him. My nipples hardened as I felt his gaze devour me. He pinched and pulled, almost to the point of pain, while I arched my body and groaned with pleasure.
"You sound so beautiful when I touch you." He leaned up and sucked a nipple into his mouth, teasing with light flicks of his tongue then sucking hard, elongating it even further. My body arched again and I held his head tighter to my chest.
"Do you still want me, Evangeline?"
"Oh God, always." The answer escaped my lips before I even had a chance to think.
"I’ll never get enough of you." He fumbled with the button on my jeans. Once they were loose I lifted his shirt over his head then we both stood to slide our jeans down our legs. I landed back on his lap wearing only a pair of lacy underwear and my bra. I rubbed against his now naked form and he inhaled a sharp breath as the rough fabric of the panties scraped along his sensitive flesh.
"You're such a fucking tease."
"Only with you, Mr. Morgan," I groaned and rocked into him harder. He unhooked my bra and flung it on the floor, squeezing the soft flesh of my breast roughly.
"This better just be for me." He nipped at the hardened peaks and a shiver ran through my body. "Wrap your legs around me," he ordered. I did as I was told as he moved the scrap of fabric between my legs to the side and eased me onto his erection slowly. I moaned as he filled me, my body adjusting to his size and absence of more than a few days.
With my arms locked around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist, I groaned, rocked, and moaned as Carter filled me slowly and sensually, our position creating an intimacy that we both needed desperately to feel.
His arms draped diagonally across my back, one palm holding my shoulder firmly while the other hand fisted in my hair, tugging gently and arching my neck so he could taste the sensitive flesh there. I groaned as he slid a palm above my ribs and pinched a nipple between his fingers, making a shot of fire blaze straight to my core. I arched my back, allowing him to reach me deeper with each thrust, while I rocked on top of him. His pelvis provided the friction I needed for a slow release to overtake my body, starting at my core and radiating down my legs to my toes.
Carter continued to suck and caress my nipples causing my climax to linger and prolonging the pleasure. I released a long and low moan and arched my body back all the way. Carter took the opportunity to hold my back and devour my chest with his mouth. He pressed into me faster, bouncing me against his pelvis, then groaned and thrust through his orgasm; finally finished he collapsed onto the couch. I landed on top of him and our bodies melded together as we fought to regulate our breaths.
"Move in with me," he whispered when his breathing came back to normal.
"No." I answered him. A deep chuckle escaped his throat. He ran his hand through my hair and down my bare back.
"I love you, even if you are the most stubborn woman on earth. I can't help but love you."
"It's exactly the reason why you love me." I snuggled against his chest.
He laughed again. "You're probably right. Just know that I won't stop asking until I get what I want." His hand palmed my backside roughly.
"I wouldn't expect anything less." I grinned happily.
Four
"So what have you been up to?" Sawyer slid into the seat at a taco bar near Fenway. Cate and I had arrived just a few minutes earlier. The place was packed with business people and students.
"Nothing—"
"Eva got married this weekend," Cate interrupted and gushed to Sawyer.
"What?" Sawyer glared at me. I bit my lip; I was not ready for this conversation at all.
"Cate, you bitch." I elbowed her.
"He's my brother," she shrugged and threw a tortilla chip in her mouth.
"You married that asshole?" Sawyer continued to glare.
I huffed a sigh and rolled my eyes. "He's not an asshole, Sawyer."
"Why would you marry him? After the way he was with you at the club and some of the fights Cate told me about."
I shot Cate a nasty look.
"It's not too late to get it annulled." Cate arched an eyebrow at me.
"I'm not getting it annulled."
"Well, just so you know all of your options. The way you came home the other night…"
"How did you come home? How did she come home?" Sawyer glanced from me to Cate.
"He dropped her off, no word why. They got married in Aspen, had an amazing few weeks, they have a fight and he just drops her off, no explanation."
"Cate, that wasn't what it was like." I cringed because that was exactly what it had been like.
"It was just like that." Cate arched an eyebrow, challenging me to disagree.
"I thought you liked him?" I shot at her.
"I do. But I like you more," she shrugged and popped another chip in her mouth.
"You need to tell me what the fuck is going on." Sawyer resumed staring at me.
"We got married in Aspen," I shrugged.
"Okay… you're fucking insane to do that, but what's going on now?"
"Nothing, we're okay."
Cate arched an eyebrow at me. "Is that why you're wearing his ring on your right hand instead of your left?" Cate said. I only glared back and played with the ring on my finger nervously.
"We're working on it. We talked last night; we're not fighting. I know why he dropped me off Monday night, we're over that."
"So you're moving in with him then?" Cate asked. I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
"Not exactly. At some point, but not right now."
"This is fucked up, Eva," Cate said.
"I know, but we just have more to work through. I know we'll get there, but Carter and I always throw ourselves in without thinking first, so now I want to think first. I want to take things slowly," I trailed off.
"That's ridiculous. You married him." Sawyer maintained his angry gaze. "Did you tell him about your problem?" Sawyer shot me a nasty glance.
"What problem?" I dipped a tortilla chip in salsa.
"The fact that you can't have kids. I'm sure he's a man who wants an heir to pass on his legacy, I can't imagine he'd be all right with your problem."
My mouth dropped in surprise. Sawyer didn't usually hit below the belt. "Fuck you, Sawyer. Fuck you." I stood and slammed my chair into the table and walked out the door. I heard Cate reprimanding him as I walked away.
It felt like Cate and Sawyer had ganged up on me and I wasn't willing to sit through lunch facing their accusing questions. I slipped into a cab to head for home when I got a text.
- How was lunch pretty lady?
- Have to say, I’m getting very used to your endearments :) Lunch wasn't great. Heading home now.
- To Beacon St? :) I rolled my eyes even though he wasn't there to see.
- No. To my apt. Work to do.
- What happened at lunch?
- I left early.
- Oh?
- I’ll tell you about it lat
er.
- Okay. Can I see you later? We can talk about us. I heaved an exasperated sigh.
- I'm exhausted. I don't think I feel up to talking.
- We can do other things besides talking ;) I rolled my eyes again.
- I just rolled my eyes FYI. Seriously, don't feel up to it tonight.
My phone rang an instant later. Carter's beautiful, smiling face flashed across the screen. I'd snapped a picture of him while we were sitting in the hot tub the night before we'd gotten married. He looked young and carefree, the Carter I loved desperately.
"Why don't you want to see me?" Carter's angry voice came across the line. I groaned in exasperation. Apparently, I couldn't just take time—he was proving that already. I was going to hit the steel wall that was Carter Morgan whenever I wanted to do something he didn't like.
"I don't mean it like that. I'm just exhausted. I haven't slept since..." I paused, wondering what to call whatever was going on between us, "since this all happened. I just need the night off." I recognized the error in my words the minute they escaped my mouth.
"The night off? From me, Eva? That's ridiculous."
I chewed on the inside of my cheek thinking about how to dig myself out of this one until I realized there was no way, because it was the truth.
"Maybe it's not. We're hard work. I just need a minute to process."
"Eva… are you running?" The hurt in his voice was palpable. I wanted to reach out and touch him through the phone. I wanted to run my hand along his cheek, slide my fingertips across his forehead and move the hair that was undoubtedly tousled there. I wanted to comfort him, even though I’d spoken the truth.
"I'm not running, Carter. I promise. I really just have things to do tonight. And then I'm going to try to get to bed early. I promise I'm not running, I'll never run from you." I knew it probably didn't make sense; I'd told him yesterday that we needed to talk, and yet here I was telling him I didn't want to talk. It didn't quite make sense to me. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was too exhausted to even consider hashing out the entire future of our relationship tonight.
Precious Lace (Lace #4) Page 2