All We Have

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All We Have Page 19

by Len Webster


  His eyes widened at his nickname. “Allison,” he breathed.

  Ally grabbed his hands and brought them to the hem of her dress, then she whispered, “In this room, for however long we’re in here, let me be someone different to you.”

  “You’re my one and only, Allison. You’re my someone different. You’re it,” Rob revealed, and with her hands covering his, he lifted her burgundy dress up and over her head. He let the piece of clothing fall to the ground as his eyes darted to the pink floral lingerie set she’d chosen to wear. Ally then reached for the bottom of his charcoal-coloured shirt. Licking her lips, she took a sharp breath of air and then pulled it off him. When she had discarded it, her palms set flat on his chest. Then she let them fall further down to his hard abs until her fingers brushed the top of his jeans.

  “Take off everything and sit in the middle of the bed,” she instructed, ignoring the way his confession had infiltrated her heart. They weren’t the three words, but it was more than what she could have ever imagined leaving his reluctant lips.

  She watched as Rob unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them and his underwear down in one slow, flawless movement. Then he climbed on the bed and sat in the middle. It was clear that he desired her, his hardness had caught her attention. Ally’s breathing heaved as she reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Her eyes collided with Rob’s flickering light blues. They were a soft colour that she hoped reflected his love for her. It was a delusional thought, but she’d given in to the little white lie. Pulling the straps off each arm, she let her bra fall to her feet, exposing her naked breasts to him.

  His sharp inhale had her digging her thumbs into the sides of her panties. Her heart throbbed at the way his gaze remained on her as she inched her underwear down her legs and stepped out of them and her burgundy-coloured flats. When she thought over how to seduce him, she thought of a push-up bra and the most revealing lingerie she owned. But that wasn’t Ally. If this was her closure, she wanted it to be the real her. She wanted for him to experience her in the most honest way possible, with no façade.

  Ally got on the bed, crawled towards him, and then straddled his lap. The feel of his hard length against her caused a small sigh to escape. Her hands cupped his face, her thumb caressing the scar on his strong jaw. She had guided his lips to hers and kissed him gently before she whispered, “Do you have protection?”

  Rob swallowed hard and nodded. Wrapping his arms around her lower back, he shuffled them back until he could reach the bedside table. Opening the drawer, he took out a box of condoms. He picked up a foil packet and then handed it to her. Ally dropped her hands from his face and tore the foil. With nerves and excitement coursing through her, she reached between them and held his hard erection in one hand and rolled the rubber down his length. Then Rob took over, ensured that the condom was on properly before he took hold of her wrists and brought them to lock around his neck. Pressing her breasts against his chest, Rob’s hand settled on her hip and fisted his hardness. Using his shoulders to lift her up, Ally looked him in the eye as she eased down on him.

  Her breathing turned into heavy panting as she stretched to accommodate his thickness. The pain had her stopping and letting out a small cry. At that moment, his other hand settled on her left hip.

  Rob pressed his forehead against hers, his breathing as heavy as hers. “Are you okay?”

  Ally nodded. “I’m sorry. Just give me a second.”

  His mouth sought hers and kissed her. His lips were like relief as she momentarily got lost in the feel of his kiss. Over and over, he kissed her. Never thrusting or taking over. It was clear that he intended to make their time together about her. The pain of him stretching her started to subside and Ally let gravity take control as she sunk down his length and he filled her. They both let out moans. The fullness and rightness that consumed her had Ally unlocking her arms and cradling his face to keep his eyes on hers.

  “Rob,” she whispered.

  Fingers dug into her flesh as she slowly lifted her hips up, loving the slow burn she felt. By his groan, he had, too.

  He had swallowed hard and asked, “Yeah, Allison?”

  She’d love nothing more than for him to take over, show her what passion was all about. But she knew he was holding back on her. That this was the first time they should have had.

  This time, Ally sank down on him quickly, and Rob had moaned loudly. “Oh, fuck. Fuck!”

  She did it again, raised her hips and sunk down harder; this time, pleasure tingled at the bottom of her spine, making her close her eyes for a second to remember this feeling. Their connection. When she opened her eyes and with him buried inside her, she decided to ask the same question she had asked when they first met.

  “What do you see when you look at me?”

  His eyes widened and she felt him throb inside her, causing her to let out a breathless moan. Rob’s hands then left her hips and his arms wound around her back, bringing her even closer to him; that one movement shooting pleasure through her. Ally then brushed back his brown hair and kissed him deeply once then she pulled back to look at him.

  “I see a fire that wants to burn. I see it in your eyes. It’s beautiful, Allison. You’re beautiful. It’s a fire I should let burn. I can’t contain you, and I don’t want to. I want your heart to scorch mine. To set mine alight. To be a blaze that only you control. I want you. I need you. When I look at you, I see my future.” His eyes misted over, and Ally gasped when he thrust his hips and hit a sweet spot inside her.

  “Finish,” she urged him. “Take control. Finish us.”

  He winced under her. “You sure?” he asked, his breathing an uneven pace.

  “Yes,” she confirmed and then dropped her head to his shoulder, kissing his collarbone as his hands returned to her sides and pulled her up and then slammed her down. “Oh, God, Rob.” It had fallen from her lips like a chant.

  Rob slowly leant back until they were no longer sitting up, Ally on top, propped on her knees and elbows. Her lips at his ear as he thrust into her. It was deeper. He felt longer and harder. She moaned into his ear, urging him for more. The pleasure stacked up higher as he entered her again and again. Rob had taken control. Not to dominate but to give her pleasure. To make her feel how much he cared for her. Ally met his thrusts as they found their rhythm.

  Faster.

  Deeper.

  Slower.

  On and on.

  “Allison,” Rob moaned over and over. “God, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

  If she weren’t so close, she’d tell him the same, maybe even cry, but she hadn’t. Her heartbeats were erratic as her breathing became short and rapid.

  “Oh, God. Oh, God,” she breathed. “Rob, I’m …”

  “Oh, fuck. Me, too. Let go,” he panted.

  He pumped into her with more urgency, hitting that sweet spot with every flex of his hips. She felt his heart pound against her chest as the sensations and pleasure overtook her. One last deep thrust and her orgasm had hit her with a power that caused her body to shake and her to collapse on top of him. Rob’s orgasm came seconds after hers.

  In between her heavy panting, Ally propped herself onto her elbows, looked him in his beautiful eyes, and remembered this exact moment. Because this moment, her on top of him and the sweetness that consumed his blue eyes, was beautiful.

  This moment she could never regret.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  I love you.

  Rob blinked at Allison in disbelief as her fingers trailed the side of his face. He swallowed hard, comprehending the three words she had just whispered. I love you. She had said it. He didn’t deserve to be the one she loved, but he wanted it. He felt complete knowing that she did.

  Rolling them over so he was on top, Rob asked, “You love me?”

  Allison’s eyes shone yellow, bright against the swirls of green. Her lips tugged into a small and honest smile. “I do. I love you.”

  Euphoria spread through him. It conquere
d his heart and mind. Expelled any inch of doubt and found its home in his chest. Three words from her lips and he had never felt more alive. Never felt more loved or wanted by someone until her.

  “I have to go to the bathroom for a second,” she said once her fingers pressed against the scar on his jaw. The same scar he’d gotten after his young brother had hit him with an oar by accident when Rob was eighteen.

  He ducked down and kissed her full on the lips. Using his hands, he cupped Allison’s delicate and beautiful face and deepened their kiss. When he broke the contact their mouths made, Rob pulled out of her and rolled off her perfect body. Allison got off the bed and brushed her hair over her shoulders. Rob took in her naked body as she made her way towards the en suite bathroom and closed the door behind her. Rob sat up and looked around the room. The best sex he had ever had had been with the woman who was in love with him. The same woman he was in love with.

  Did we make love?

  He thought about it. Yes. It was love. Slow and passionate. He had felt her love in every movement, thrust, breath, and moan. He had never felt his heart clench and beat the way it had when he was with her. They had made love. Nothing with any other woman came close to what he had just done with Allison. It was emotional and beautiful. And her confession made it all the more perfect.

  Rob heard the water from the sink and then moments later the toilet flushed. He assumed she had cleaned up in there. A minute had passed when the door opened and Allison walked out; he knew how perfect her naked body was with all her curves, but at that moment, he was focused on her hazel eyes. Rob scrambled off the bed and walked up to her. Her long lashes fanned her eyelids as she peeked up at him. He wondered if she was waiting for him to say it. That he loved her. But first, he had to use the bathroom.

  His hands were on the side of her head as he held her still and let his lips pressed against her forehead. Allison’s lips spread into another one of her small smiles.

  “I’ll be back,” he promised and then entered the bathroom. When he shut the door behind him, he removed the condom and then flushed it down the toilet. Then he approached the sink and took the hand towel off the railing. Rob turned on the hot water and let the towel soak up the water. He had rung it out before he cleaned himself up and threw it into the hamper next to the shower.

  Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Rob splayed his hands on the counter and thought about how to handle her love. The first step was to tell her that he loved her, too. Maybe not the very moment he walked out of the bathroom, but he would say it. He needed to. He might have fucked up her first time, but he would not ruin the moment he told her how in love he was with her. Rob knew that he had to start over with Allison.

  She deserved dates and romantic gestures. All the stuff he had never done before and refused to. He didn’t know how to be romantic. He had never shared his feelings. No woman made him want things like a future. He had thought Stevie was his Clara. Noel had become lovesick for his wife, doing what it took to be with her. Deep down, Rob had realised it wasn’t Stevie he wanted. It was love. It was companionship. It was someone to be there by his side with all his triumphant wins and all his disappointed failures.

  It’s Allison.

  She was his one. Losing her, hurting her, drove him to find ways to be a good man for her. Now, he knew what his dream was. It wasn’t just the Olympics. It was that and making Allison proud and feel loved. He could have both. And if he needed to make a choice, he wouldn’t hesitate. He’d give up rowing, Worlds, and the Olympics for her. He’d give up his career. He knew that no matter what, his mother would be proud of him.

  Rob took one final look at his reflection, nodded, and then made his way towards the bathroom door. He pulled the handle and opened it to find Allison’s clothes no longer on the floor. Quickly looking around, he discovered her dressed and leaning against the bedroom door, staring at him with those sad eyes of hers.

  “Allison,” he breathed and took a step towards her.

  She held out her hands and shook her head. “Don’t.”

  Rob rushed towards his underwear on the floor, picked it up, and slipped them on. Then he faced her, confused at her need for distance. “What are you doing?” he asked in a panic.

  Allison dropped her hands and pressed herself against the door. “I got my closure.”

  He flinched. “You told me you love me.”

  “I know,” she agreed. Then her right hand found the door handle. “And I do. When I think about my first time, I’ll think about what we had on that bed and in this room. Because that’s all we have. And I will never regret that.”

  He closed the distance between them with long strides, placing his hands on her shoulders and pinning her. “Allison, don’t walk away.”

  Her tears breached her eye line and ran down her cheeks. “You forget who I am. I may love you, but you could never love all of me. It’s ugly. The real me, it’s ugly, Rob.”

  “It’s not,” he said as he cradled her face. “Please don’t leave me. I just need a little time. What we have is incredible. I don’t want to lose that or you. I’ve made mistakes and I’ll spend all my life making them up to you.”

  “I …” she hesitated.

  Finish us.

  The two words she had said while they made love. His heart broke when he understood the meaning to them.

  “Allison, please don’t go. Don’t give up on me. I want your love. Fuck, I need it,” he confessed. “I’ll give it all up for you. Whatever you need me to be, I’ll be it. Please give me one more chance.”

  The wide smile she made didn’t reach her eyes. “I meant I have work soon. I better go home and get ready.”

  He breathed out in relief. Letting his forehead rest against hers, he whispered, “I thought you were finished with me. Are we okay?”

  She nodded, her nose grazing his. “Yes.”

  “What time do you finish tonight?” he asked as he pulled back.

  “Eight.”

  “I’ll be there. I’ll make this all up to you, I promise. Give me tonight to try to redeem us.”

  She had licked her lips before she nodded again. “Okay. Just tonight.”

  For some reason, his heart ached at her agreement. The pain in her voice gave him no confidence. But he would try.

  “Do you want me to drive you home?” he asked once he stepped back. He smiled at her and then picked his jeans up off the floor.

  “It’s okay. I drove my brother’s car,” she explained and opened the door as he slipped on his pants and buttoned them up.

  “All right, I’ll walk you out,” he offered.

  Allison’s lips pressed together, and she spun around to exit his bedroom with Rob following her. When they reached the dining table, she picked up her keys and her phone. She pressed the home button, and he could just see that she had several missed calls and text messages. He watched as she pursed her lips and then made her way to the door. Upon approaching it, she spun around and gazed up at him. Her eyes hadn’t lost the sad gleam in them and that confused Rob.

  She took a deep breath. “I love you, Robbie. I don’t expect you to say it back. You don’t have to do anything about it or with it. I just want you to know that I do.” Then she got on her tippy toes, kissed his cheek, and softly said, “I love you.”

  He was in love with the way she said it. Three simple words and it could bring him to his knees. He needed to say it soon. Confess his love. Allow them to mutually love each other.

  “I’ll see you tonight,” he promised as he opened the front door for her.

  Allison didn’t say anything as she left his apartment and went down the hall towards the elevator. Peeking into the hallway, he watched her press the down button, and seconds later, the elevator opened up for her. Allison stepped inside and turned around. Her eyes met his as the metal doors closed, and for a moment, he could have sworn he saw goodbye in them. Shaking his head, Rob went back into his apartment and closed the door.

  Tonight, he promis
ed himself that he’d confess.

  It was finally time for her to hear that he was in love with her. Madly and stupidly in love with her. So in love that the Olympics was just the name of a sporting event for him and no longer his dream.

  It was seven thirty when Rob had locked his car and made his way towards PJ’s. The nights had become cooler now, and he regretted not bringing a jacket with him. His plans with Allison included returning to the bench he’d taken her to on the first night they met. Under the bright moon and stars, he decided that it would be the perfect place to tell her that he loved her. He’d win her back. Rob knew it would take a long time, but he was in it for the long haul. He was in it for forever. He was in it for his forever—Allison.

  As he reached the pub doors, Jewel Monroe stumbled out and crashed into him. Rob caught her, stopping her from falling over. When she lolled her head and noticed that it was him, her mouth had curved into a sultry smile.

  “Oh, Rob, you’re here!” she said excitedly and clutched his arms.

  Rob walked her several steps to his left, out of the way of the entry. When he propped her against the brick wall, he eyed her, noticing her very obvious swaying.

  “Jewel, you drunk?”

  “Nope,” she said shaking her head. Then she giggled. “Unless you want me to be?”

  “You have a marathon next week. What are you doing getting drunk?”

  Jewel cleared her throat, dug her fingers into his forearms, and blinked. “I’m fine. But I never see you anymore.”

  “We’re gonna have to get you a taxi,” he stated and looked over his shoulder to see if he knew anyone he trusted to help her into one.

  “Do you love her?” she asked in a small, terrified voice.

  Her question had him snapping his gaze to her. “What?”

  “That girl. The millionaire. The one you look at when you think no one sees. You love her. Just tell me.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

  He had forgotten what an emotional drunk Jewel could be. Sighing, he glanced down to see her in one of her skimpy dresses. The ones she wore when she wanted attention. “Jewel, I’m not discussing this with you.”

 

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