by L. L. James
Feeling like she’d been slapped, Carm took a step back. “I might ask the same of you, Marek. What the hell are you doing?”
She could feel the tension and sexual frustration coming from him like a palpable force. She’d felt that before a time or two with other men when she’d called a halt to their intimacy, but nothing so strong as what she felt from Marek. Unsure of what to do, uncertain of him, Carm did the only thing she could do. She hid behind a shield of cold indifference.
“Well, now that you’ve finished your little experiment, shall we get on with things?” Pushing past him, she started walking.
Apparently Marek wasn’t quite ready to let it drop. Catching up to her, he demanded, “Tell me you wanted that. Tell me you wanted it as bad as I did.”
Shrugging, she dismissed him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What we had back there was a moment, that’s all. And it’s gone.”
“Bullshit.” Marek gripped her shoulders and spun her around. Crashing his mouth down on hers, he yanked back her poncho hood and filled his hands with her hair. Like a man too long denied, he slanted his mouth hungrily over hers.
Carm was taken by force and passion. She’d never experienced anything like it before. Responding with a powerful need of her own, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung.
She’d never been wanted like this.
Opening her mouth, Carm whimpered when his tongue thrust to meet hers. Aroused beyond anything she’d known, she stroked and caressed his tongue. At her boldness, Marek growled deep in his throat and ripped his mouth from hers.
Breathing heavily, he held her head in his hand and let his hot gaze bore into her. Sparks flew between them as they stared silently at one another. Finally, he released her hair and growled, “You and I are going to finish this, sweetheart. In my bed or in yours, it doesn’t matter. But we’re going to finish this tonight.”
Reeling from the strength of her response, Carm numbly shook her head, her face still flushed with desire. Turning, she stumbled away. She needed some space to regain her composure. With her back to him, she closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten. What have I done?
She had a sinking feeling that she was in way over her head. Though she wasn’t wholly innocent, this went far beyond anything she knew. What just happened between them was lightning hot and potent. Carm was very much afraid she couldn’t handle it.
Some nasty little voice taunted her, telling her she’d already compromised everything. Why shouldn’t she give in and surrender to it all. Why shouldn’t she give them both what they want to desperately?
Because I want him to love me first. And damn it, I deserve better.
Carm felt him closing in behind her and started walking. Into the tense silence, she asked, “Do you love me, Marek?”
She heard him stop dead. You weren’t expecting that, were you? Scanning around the deep brown field full of tender young green plants, Carm inhaled the rich scent of damp earth. It was breathtaking up high in the mountain jungle. She could hear the lively chatter of exotic birds and watched as a wild monkey raced along the branches of a tree and leapt high through the air to another one. Thrilled at the sight, she felt a smile tug her lips and sighed.
When Marek still hadn’t answered, she turned to face him and found him staring at her with an unfathomable look on his face. Half wild with his hair curling madly in the damp air and his eyes bright with emotion, Marek looked as exotic as the surroundings. Wondering if she’d terrified him with her question, she taunted, “What’s wrong, cat got your tongue? Or was it the L-word that’s got you stumped?”
Hoping to tease him into easing up, she was thrown by the seriousness in his voice when he finally responded, “It means that much to you, doesn’t it? You weren’t joking in your hotel room when you said you were waiting for love.”
On a sigh, she responded, “No, I wasn’t joking.”
Marek slowly walked toward her, his eyes locked on her. “So, you are just going to ignore this magic between us? You’re going to deny it and throw it away because I’m not in love with you?”
Carm didn’t like the accusatory note in his tone. “Yes, Marek, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Except for the throwing away part.”
He stopped a foot in front of her and spoke softly, but with conviction, “Then you’re the fool, Carmen.”
Meeting his gaze, she tipped her head in consideration. “Maybe. You might be right, but at least I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror tomorrow without shame. Neither of us love the other, Marek. I deserve love and I won’t settle for less. You don’t have to agree with my choice, but I do expect you to respect it. Now are you going to show me your coffee, or did we waste our time coming here?”
A tick jumped in his jaw betraying his tightly leashed anger, but Marek gave a terse nod and ground out, “This way. We’ll start over here.”
Releasing a breath she hadn’t been aware she held, Carm looked up at the heavy gray sky and followed him. They made their way through the rows of waist high plants. She admired the deep green, glossy leaves.
As Marek began telling her about the process of growing and harvesting shade grown coffee beans, she listened. It was fascinating really. She’d never known it took coffee plants years to mature enough to produce the first crop of beans.
Absorbing the information so that she could relay it all to Kate when she got home, Carm followed after Marek. A plant at the edge of the field caught her attention. Interrupting his speech, she asked, “What’s that plant over there? It looks sort of like a poppy.”
He followed her line of sight until he spotted what she was staring at. “I’m not sure what it is, but there are a ton of them up here. They’re scattered like a thick blanket all over my fields. I think they’re some sort of wildflower, like a poppy. It’s not an actual poppy, but it could be a relation of it. They’re a damned nuisance.”
“I think they’re pretty.”
“Well, sweetheart, feel free to take as many as you like. I certainly don’t need them and they end up getting plowed under.”
She shrugged and prodded him back to his lecture. “You were saying before I interrupted that you have to prune back the coffee plants because they can reach up to twenty feet tall, right?”
Marek laughed and began walking again, “So you were listening. I wasn’t sure about that.”
Pretending outrage, Carm burst, “Shame on you, Marek Stokes! How dare you accuse me of inattention?” Dropping the phony voice, she added, “Seriously, I find it quite fascinating and I think it’s great that you’re out here doing a lot of the manual labor yourself instead of sitting in your plush office all day.”
Marek stopped short and she plowed into his back. Raising a hand he whispered, “Shh. Did you hear that? I think someone’s in the trees.”
Carm gripped his slick rain poncho and whispered back, “Why would anyone be in the trees? It’s probably a monkey. I saw one just a bit ago.”
Looking around, Marek began walking again, only this time back toward the jeep. “Could be poachers, locals, just about anything, but it’s definitely not a monkey. This is all private property up here. My property. And I haven’t given anyone permission to be up here except during regular work hours. Let’s wrap up the tour and head back to town. That all right with you?”
Unsettled by the idea of being watched by someone high in the remote jungle, Carm agreed and tried to break into a run. Marek put a restraining hand on her arm and slid it down to grip her hand. He smiled and leaned down to say in her ear, “Don’t run and don’t panic. If someone is out here we don’t want them to know we know. Got it?”
She pasted a shaky smile on her face. Trying to act casual, Carm leaned her head on his shoulder so she could murmur, “I don’t like this feeling, Marek. I’m creeping out. I don’t like the idea of someone watching us.”
He kissed her on the head and squeezed her hand, “I don’t either, cheri. I’ll look into it as soon as we get down the mount
ain. I just saw some movement to my left so I want you to laugh, right now.”
Though it sounded weak and hollow, Carm did as he asked and laughed. A shudder ran through her and she sighed in relief as the jeep came into view. While they’d been out in the fields the mist had grown steadily thicker and now circled the wheels of the jeep in an eerie glow.
Looking down at her feet, Carm swallowed a gasp as she noticed they were practically invisible in the soupy mist. Every step she took swirled the dense air, sending it rolling in lazy whirls around her. Before when she’d first seen it, she’d thought it beautiful and otherworldly. In the wake of discovering someone was out in the jungle watching them, the mist just felt oppressive and scary.
Her overactive imagination had the mist curling around her legs and tugging at her, trying to pull her down. Evil tendrils slithered out from the center, wrapping around to clamp her wrists.
Laughing uneasily at herself, she clung to Marek’s arm. She’d always had way too good an imagination. It had been great as a kid, but now she wished it gone.
At last they reached the jeep and Marek opened her passenger side door and tucked her safely inside. She watched him circle the hood of the jeep and jump in on his side. He wasted no time in starting the engine and turning them around in the tall grass.
She shivered in the cab. Locking her door, Carm gripped her poncho and pulled it off. The field disappeared in the blue fog as they hastily made their way back down the mountain. Marek hit the same bone jarring rut rocketing her to the roof. She whacked her head sharp against the ceiling hard enough to leave a nasty bump, but she didn’t say a word.
Marek muttered an apology, but kept his eyes on the rough dirt road. He flipped on the lights and continued down the hill. Though it shouldn’t have been dark yet, the mist was so thick it made it impossible to see twenty feet in front of the car without light.
The sky let loose with a loud thunder clap and opened up. Rain began hammering at the jeep and bounced off the windshield. A steady stream of water flowed down the glass and pooled on the hood.
Carm closed her eyes as he turned the wipers on high. His intensity and calm confidence soothed her and kept her from panicking. She’d never been in a flash flood before and found she really didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
Nine
Carm sipped at the hot buttered rum and let the liquid warm her insides. It had been like a living nightmare. She hoped to God she never had to experience anything like that again. They’d slid half the way down the side of the mountain after the road had washed out. Somehow, Marek got them down safe and without harm.
How he’d managed to remain so calm when she’d been near hysteria she’ll never know. Looking at him now, no one would believe he’s just survived a near death experience.
Carm glanced at him over the rim of her crystal glass. He’d unbuttoned the collar of his Armani shirt and rolled the tailored cuffs up his tanned, muscular forearms. Back at his office his hair had been somewhat tamed, but now it curled riotously around his head. She really had to ask him if he had those fabulous streaks put in it or if the sun had put them there because in the moonlight they shimmered like gold.
Marek lifted a glass of red wine to his lips and glanced around the open patio. She watched as his eyes came to rest on her and he lifted one side of his mouth in a half smile. Heat melted through her as Carm returned his stare from across the outdoor bar. She noticed a five o’clock shadow had appeared on his gorgeous face, adding to his appeal.
Keeping his eyes locked with hers, Marek lifted a hand and rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, wiping away a drop of crimson wine. Her stomach clenched hard with need at his suggestive movement. He knew perfectly well that it would make her remember their heated kiss.
And it did. Her eyes locked on his mouth and she could once again feel his firm, capable lips caressing hers. Feel the way his tongue had rubbed against hers.
Heat rushed up her neck and burned her cheeks. Dragging her gaze from his, Carm broke eye contact and took a long swallow from her glass. If he kept this up she had no idea how she was going to survive the night without bursting into flames. Or melting her panties off. The man was like walking sex.
Fighting the urge to fan herself, Carm cleared her throat and watched the crowd. Since Marek had booked them rooms at one of the most exclusive resorts on St. Kitts she was surrounded by the wealthy. Women in diamonds and men in Gucci.
She had never suffered from an inferiority complex before, but she couldn’t help but feel out of place in her beaded jewelry and department store suit. She was grateful they were outside just off the beach in dim, overhead lighting and no one other than Marek was paying her any attention.
Just then Landon arrived on the scene with a sultry brunette on his arm. Carm almost choked on her rum and burst into a fit of laughter. If she felt misplaced, then Landon must feel totally outclassed. Somehow that made her feel much better. It helped to know she wasn’t the only one there without a six figure income.
Spotting her, Landon smiled, dimples creasing his cheeks. Sending a wink her direction he led his date to a table and helped her settle into a chair. Whispering something in her ear, Landon spun on his old, ratty sandals and made his way toward Marek at the bar.
Carm couldn’t help but compare the two as they stood together. Marek definitely had the height advantage and a more muscular, ripped build. Not short or thin by any means, Landon held his own skimming right at six foot. But his build was more the lean type that surfers usually had.
Both men had a street-wise look about them, however. Even Marek’s expensive clothes couldn’t hide that. He looked like a man who could handle himself in any situation, from the boardroom to the streets.
She realized with a start that Marek’s back-alley brawler attitude aroused and comforted her at the same time. Taking another sip of her drink, she shifted her eyes and watched as a band appeared on a wooden stage on the sand. It was the second time in two days she had enjoyed live music.
A hand came to rest on her shoulder and Carm jumped. The low laugh told her it was Marek and she said without looking up, “Do you dance?”
He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “Our food should be here any moment. I’m glad you agreed to try the conch chowder, it’s delicious.”
Apparently he was going to ignore her question. She asked again as the band began to play some reggae, “Do you dance, Marek?”
Just then their waiter arrived and set the food before them. The young man was efficient and discreet and after quietly asking if they needed anything more, slipped away. Carm watched his bright shirt and white pants retreat and then turned her eyes to Marek.
A fork full of Swordfish halfway to his mouth, he gestured to her purple glazed bowl, “Try the chowder, sugar, and after dinner I’ll let you decide if I can dance.”
She eyed him skeptically for a moment before picking up her spoon. She really was starving and the seafood chowder smelled divine. Reaching for the wicker basket loaded with rolls, Carm snatched one and set it on her plate.
She took a bite of chowder and closed her eyes. It was bliss, pure bliss. Nothing she’d ever eaten could compare to it. Rich, flavorful and creamy. And oh, so good. Her stomach rumbled, eager for more. She wasn’t just hungry, she was ravenous.
She took a few more bites, and then looked at Marek. “It’s delicious. I’ve never tasted anything like it.”
Marek smiled, “I’m pleased you like it. I grew up on it as a kid. It was one of my mother’s specialties. I thought it would be to your liking, cheri.”
They ate together in silence and enjoyed the sound of the band playing. A few couples had made their way to the beach and were dancing barefoot in the sand. Landon and his date were one of the couples.
Noticing where her eyes gazed, Marek said, “He’s got a woman on practically every island.” At her look he added, “I’m serious. There’s something about him that woman adore. They’re drawn to him li
ke bees to honey.”
Carm watched Landon dance, his movements languid and unrushed. “I can see why. He’s got this air of lazy sensuality about him and he’s charming. And he’s obviously in no rush to settle down. Women can’t resist that kind of challenge.”
Silence reigned across the table and she turned her head to see if Marek was still there or if he’d slipped away. She found him staring intently at her, his face serious.
“What? Did I say something?” Carm laughed uneasily. He looked so intense.
Suddenly he smiled and reached out a hand. “It’s time for that dance, sugar. Kick off your shoes and leave them on your chair, no one will take them.”
Wondering what he was up to, she stood and slipped off her shoes. Leaving them behind she quickly rolled her pant legs up and let Marek lead her down the shallow steps to the beach. Warm, soft sand greeted her as he tugged her down the shore. Coming to a stop just to the far side of the band, Marek spun her to face him.
The final strains of the song drifted away on the fragrant night air. A hint of wild sage lingered with the more pungent scent of Caribbean spices. Carm glanced up at the night sky and marveled at the clarity. The stars dotted the velvet sky like sparkling gems and the moon hung heavy and round.
Time seemed to stop when Marek took her in his arms as a slow song began to play. Swaying to the music, he put his large hands on her hips and pulled her close. Murmuring in her ear to wrap her arms around his neck, she nodded and slid her hands up his chest to clasp together at the back of his neck.
Marek’s hair brushed against her fingertips, tickling softly. From the first moment she’d seen him she had wanted to touch his hair. She wanted to feel the thick curls in her hands, but without drawing his attention. He didn’t need to know how badly she wanted to feel him.
Clearing her throat, Carm tried to distract him, “Did you find out anything this morning when you questioned the hotel employees?”