by L. L. James
Feeling her face heat, Carm dropped her gaze from his face to the tray he was carrying. Then he spoke and her hair caught on fire.
“Merde, you look good enough to eat. Again.” He sat the tray down, pulled back her loose hair and whispered in her ear, “I can still taste you on my lips, cheri. And smell your hot, sweet scent every time I inhale.”
He placed a wet kiss at that spot just below her ear he knew drove her wild and bit, a sharp nip of teeth. She thought she’d melt out of the chair right then and there. Just melt into a big ol’ puddle of arousal right there on the verandah floor.
Large, broad palms and long fingers snuck over her shoulders, down between the open vee of her robe to cup her heavy breasts. Carm bit her lip to keep a moan from escaping but couldn’t stop her nipples from puckering at Marek’s touch. When his thumbs flicked over the taut peaks, teasing them, a small whimper escaped her lips.
A deep, throaty male chuckle sounded behind her. Air stirred over her chest and she glanced down to see he’d spread her robe wide and her breasts were exposed in the open, balmy air, the breeze caressing her heating skin. Moisture pooled between her thighs as she watched Marek’s strong hands cup and manipulate her breasts. His deeply tanned hands were an arousing contrast to the paleness of her skin.
The hard muscles in his long, bare forearms flexed as his hands slid to the bottom side of her breasts, tested their weight. He had the most beautiful skin coloring, the softest, palest shade of mocha. Like the caramel-colored foam off the top of a frothy latte. And it covered every single inch of him.
“Tell me, sugar, do you want to go for a ride? Or are you too tender this morning?” Marek pinched her nipples as he asked, his low voice suggestive and gravelly.
Carm sucked in a breath and arched into his hands. Every single thought she had was quickly emptying out of her head from his erotic touch. Before she lost all brain function, she tilted back her head and looked in his hot green eyes. “I’ll ride you like a roller coaster, later. I am sore this morning.” Carm reached a hand up and stroked his scruffy jaw. “And my thighs feel a bit chafed from your facial hair.”
She watched male satisfaction dance in his eyes. She could tell it did his ego good to know he’d put his mark on her. His eyes dropped down her chest to his hands, his thick, inky lashes shading the liquid green depths. His lashes were so long and thick they almost tangled together. Usually Carm thought lashes like that were completely wasted on men, but in this case she couldn’t complain. His eyes made her forget her own name.
Heat flared briefly in Marek’s hooded eyes as he gazed down at her. Then his hand slipped up her chest and gripped below her jaw on her throat. Squeezing gently, Marek forced her head back and lowered his mouth to hers. Warm, firm lips caressed hers and his hot, wet tongue slipped out to lick the seam of her lips. Opening for him, she moaned as he gently sucked her tongue into his mouth. Tongues rasped and dueled as the kiss deepened, turned heated and impatient.
On a groan that sounded almost painful, Marek pulled back. Carm felt his thumb stroking the underside of her jaw as her eyes slowly fluttered open. She focused on him, her mind foggy and dazed. The man knew how to kiss. One thorough kiss and she completely lost her senses.
Gazing up at his lazy, hooded eyes gone a vivid green with desire, Carm cleared her throat and tried to think of something to say. She came up blank. With the force of his testosterone surrounding her, dominating her, she couldn’t find a coherent thought in her head.
Pure egotistical male satisfaction crossed his face and glinted in his eyes. Dropping a short, quick kiss on her lips, Marek straightened up and let his hand fall away. She watched his loose swagger as he rounded the table and sunk into the patio chair. Everything about him was lethal to a girl’s libido.
Clearing her throat again, Carm tried a second time to speak. She needed a breather from the potency of his sexuality, so she turned the conversation to an innocent topic. “I went into town yesterday. Found out some very interesting things.”
Marek glanced up from fixing their coffees, his eyes twinkling. He knew what she was doing, the rotten man. And he was thoroughly enjoying it.
“Oui? What did you learn, cheri?”
Carm watched him as she replied, “That you and I didn’t sleep together the night we were married.”
Not a flinch, not a shake of his hand. The man was unflappable. “I figured as much, cupcake, as soon as I thrust into you the first time last night. You didn’t have a barrier, but the way you called out and tensed up told me as much.”
Of course he knew.
“What I want to know is if you had decided to sleep with me before or after you discovered that fact.”
Carm reached for the mug of steaming coffee that Marek handed her and looked him dead in the eye. “I knew I was going to be with you the moment I saw the photo album. Thank you for that.”
He shrugged his big shoulders uncomfortably and dismissed her gratitude, “I don’t want your thanks. I want you to know me, see me as I am with all the facts, and to make your decision from that. I am who I am. I thought you needed to see that.”
Carm glanced at the man sitting across the table from her, his hair a riot of curls around his head, a morning shadow darkening his strong jaw. He was who he was. And she loved him.
Would he talk openly about the things he’d written down for her, or in the light of day were they off limits? Only one way to find out.
As casual as she could, Carm said, “I liked the pictures very much. You were a beautiful child.” She saw a smile tug his lips and continued, “I didn’t know you went to college in the states, but it explains why your accent isn’t as heavy as the other locals. Except when you’re turned on.”
A naughty grin split his face and he chuckled, “You love that don’t you? The way I sound when I’m hard for you?”
Oh no, she wasn’t going there. She’d end up on her back on floor if she did. With him hard between her legs.
Carm shifted in her seat and took a sip of her coffee. He made the best coffee, hands down. “Why did you go into stock trading?”
Amusement flashed in his eyes and he chuckled. Gripping the bright red mug in his large hand, Marek drank his black coffee and replied, “I wanted to get rich. Simple as that. I’ve always had a head for numbers and a sharp mind. That’s why I did what I did as a kid. I was too damned smart for my own good. Instead of turning it in the right direction, I used it to create a profitable little business of pick-pocketing and selling pot.” Marek glanced at her to see her reaction. When she kept silent he added, “When I was caught and sent to UNC Wilmington, I finally pulled my head out of my ass and did something good with my intelligence. What really got to me was the look of disappointment and sadness on my mother’s face when she found out what I’d been doing. I decided to do better.”
It made sense now. Stock trading was a ruthless business, where a person could churn and burn. But a person could make a fortune if they could hack it.
“Tell me about you, cheri. What was it like growing up for you? I bet you were a good girl, weren’t you?”
She heard the slight sarcasm in Marek’s voice, but chose to ignore it. “Actually, I was a good girl. What’s wrong with that?” She challenged. When he grinned and shook his head, she went on. “Kate is my older sister by two years and my only sibling. I grew up in Colorado on a small fruit farm outside of town. My mother made a living by selling fresh fruit and vegetables we grew at the local farmer’s market. And every Saturday morning from May to October, Kate and I helped our mother out at the stand. We loved it. My mother was a blast to be with. She was a wonderful woman.”
Tears prickled at the back of her eyes and Carm blinked them back. “My father worked for the city as an engineer and coached our soccer team when we were kids. I remember him being full of life with a big, boisterous laugh. He and my mother were so in love. Kate and I swore to each other that we wouldn’t settle for less than what our parents had. Their relationship was
one in a million.”
Marek spoke quietly, his rich voice low and soothing, “What happened to them, cheri?”
Carm took a big breath and said as she let it out, “They died four years ago in a boating accident on the Snake river. They were killed instantly. I miss them every day, Marek. But I console myself with the fact that they’re together.”
A warm hand covered hers holding her mug and she looked up to meet his somber green eyes. “I’m sorry for that, Carmen. You loved them very much.”
“I did. I still do. They were wonderful parents and gave Kate and me a secure, happy childhood. I couldn’t ask for more than that.”
Marek read her mind and subtly changed the subject. “Did you play sports in high school?”
She let him see her gratitude in her eyes. At his small nod of acceptance, she replied, “I played volleyball in high school and at the junior college I attended. When I was getting my childhood education degree at the university, I was too busy focusing on that and working at the local bookstore to play.”
Marek asked, “What made you want to be a teacher?”
A smile stole across her face. She really loved being a teacher. “I love children. Their innocence and exuberance give me joy. I love going into my classroom every day and seeing how their inquisitive little minds work. I wouldn’t want to do anything else.”
Warmth settled around her heart when he murmured, “I admire that. This world needs more people like you. Those willing to devote themselves to the development and well-being of the children, sacrificing big pay for what matters most. Our children and their future.”
Shocked by his words and flattered more than she could say, Carm glanced at Marek and basked in the glow of his sincerity and pride in her. It was almost tangible and surrounded her like a soft, cozy blanket. It sucked her in, made her heart soar. No one had ever complimented her like that or felt proud of her choices in life.
No one but Marek.
In the next moment the glow was gone and he was standing up, holding a hand out to her. Marek’s tone was light and playful when he asked, “Have you ever snorkeled? No? Well, you’re in for a treat then. Smuggler’s Cove has some of the best snorkeling in the Caribbean. I figured we could grab something to eat and then walk the trail down to the beach. What do you say, sugar?”
So ends the heartfelt talk. I guess men can only handle so much connecting.
Carm inwardly sighed and agreed. There was time still for more. She didn’t want to push him.
I almost forgot.
Gripping his hand, Carm tugged on his arm and blurted out, “I forgot to tell you something! When I was in town yesterday I stopped by the inn and saw your mother. She said that Big Bubba died, Marek. He didn’t pull through. I’m sorry.”
Marek was quiet for a moment taking it in. He glanced down at her, faint lines showing between his lowered brows. Then he tugged her hand and started walking. “Poor old bastard. He was a dirty one, but had a good heart beneath it all. He’ll be missed.”
The clear aqua water lapped at Marek’s legs, warm and gentle. There was practically no surf in the cove, the water almost like glass it was so calm. The sun bounced off the surface allowing him to see perfectly to the bottom of the bay to the coral reef. He could see exactly where it ended and began.
It was still fairly early in the morning and since it was late June, past prime tourist season, the beach was almost deserted. A family with two young children building sandcastles in the white sand and a local working the bar at the drink stand were the only other people on the cove. Marek waved at the black man behind the bar in the green polo and short brimmed khaki bucket hat. For as long as he could remember, Junior and his family had been running that stand.
Soft sand sifted between his toes as he shifted his gaze and watched Carm snorkel about twenty feet in front of him, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail that floated on the water. The ties of her yellow and pink halter swim top bobbed on the surface. A black breathing tube shot straight up by the side of her cheek and the thick purple band of his goggles wrapped around her head.
She’d taken to snorkeling with youthful enthusiasm, smiles lighting up her beautiful face. Her delighted giggles had worked their way between his rib cage and lodged welcome around his heart. Contentment settled over him, comfortable as his favorite t-shirt.
He loved seeing her like this, uninhibited and playful as a child. Nothing made his chest swell with happiness quite like the sight of her laughing with pure joy. His knees had about buckled when she’d innocently commented how much she loved his island. It had been on the tip of his tongue to tell her she’d better like it because it was going to be her new home, but he managed keep it from slipping out. Barely.
Marek was becoming used to how well she fit into his life, how easily she meshed. He wasn’t completely comfortable with it, but he was getting used to it. Women had a way of doing that. Wiggling their way into a guy’s life and getting comfortable before a man knew what hit him.
He wasn’t so sure he didn’t like it, either.
Waking to her warm and soft in his arms this morning was like nothing he’d experienced before. The urge to cradle her hard against him until he’d soaked her in had scared him from the sheer force of it. Still, he’d stayed.
Folding his powerful legs beneath him, Marek sunk into the sand and let the water drift over his steely thighs. His swim trunks lifted away from him, pocketing air as the water swirled lazily around him. Keeping his eye on her in case she needed him, Marek dug his hands into the wet sand and let his mind drift to last night.
Lust slammed unrelenting into his gut when he thought about the way she had given herself to him, so open and free. She’d held nothing back. Though she had known some things, her innocence had still been there, mingling with her need for him. Like a heady concoction she’d gone straight to his head. And his heart.
It had taken everything he’d had last night to hold back and take it easy when he’d discovered she was still a virgin. The significance of that wasn’t lost on him and he knew what it meant that she’d offered herself to him. Never one to seek out inexperienced women, Marek usually preferred women who knew the ropes and how to give and receive pleasure.
But as soon as he’d pushed into her and discovered her innocence, some primal, animalistic need had come over him. He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t control it. Some primitive beast had roared victoriously deep in him as he became the first man to mate with Carm. All he’d known was that she was his, and the need to fuck her, to ride her hard, had taken over until nothing had remained but the raw hunger to take her. And he’d claimed her, branded her his with every thrust, every plunge—until they’d both screamed for mercy.
It had taken all Marek’s control this morning not to jump the table and take Carm again when she’d admitted that she’d known about her virginity before she’d climbed into the shower with him. Even now thinking about it, something base and primitive in him stirred to life.
One thing was for damn sure: he was going to be the one and only man to know what it was like to be inside her. He’d never considered himself a possessive man, but the thought of another man touching Carmen made his blood run cold.
Uncertainty still nagged at him, however, along with a healthy dose of fear. Love and commitment were two things he’d sworn never to fall into. Watching the way his mother had suffered from his father’s cruel treatment had taught him well to steer clear of love.
Only fools fell in love, gave up control of their very soul to another. Or at least that’s what he’d believed until recently. Now looking at Carm as she kicked lazily around the cove on a postcard perfect day he didn’t know what to believe. Part of him wanted to trust her with everything, take a chance on them.
But part of him held back, refused to give everything to her, terrified of the potential consequences. Damned annoying, but that part of him refused to budge. It held tight to the belief that loving Carm would ultimately destroy him. Like it ha
d almost destroyed his mother.
In the warm Caribbean water, Carm twitched her black and blue flippers, sending her further out over the coral reef. Her long, curvy body glided slowly across the water, her shapely legs kicking every so often.
She’d said he was in love with her. Thinking about the confident way she’d said it now squeezed Marek’s lungs, made his breath come in short gasps. If she believed him in love with her so much, and believed it with such assurance, how long would it be before it became true?
Could a man ever hold out against a beautiful woman for long in the first place?
Hell, did he really want to?
Tilting his face toward the sun, Marek closed his eyes and soaked in the hot rays. He didn’t know. Between the mild panic, the conflicting emotions, and the overwhelming need for Carm, he didn’t know. Couldn’t think straight enough to figure it out.
All he knew was that he wanted her with him. Merde, the thought of ending their brief marriage left a bad taste in his mouth. It didn’t matter that they’d married each other on a lark, some foolish fluke. He couldn’t help but agree that maybe fate had known what she was doing that crazy night.
So, if he didn’t want to end the marriage and didn’t want her to leave, what did that tell him? It told him he needed to suck it up and be a man. He had some decisions to make and maybe it was time to be completely, totally honest with his feelings to Carmen.
Merde, he’d still rather have his balls clamped in a vise.
Nineteen
Carm smoothed her hands down the thighs of her dress and straightened her shoulders. Swiveling in front of the mirror, she critiqued her appearance. The vivid red hibiscus flowers stood out nicely against the moss green background of the dress and complemented her coloring.