by L. L. James
She squared her shoulders and prepared to speak. To cut her off, Marek stepped forward and ran his hands over her satiny hair, looking into her blue eyes bright with emotion. “I know you are, cheri. I knew it the first time you slept with me. Thank you. Now go upstairs and get some sleep.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Marek felt her jerk like he’d slapped her before she went rigid in his arms. That backbone of hers had just snapped tightly in place. Hiding a grin, he stepped back and admired the fire that had leapt in her eyes. Oh, Carm was a joy to watch. No wonder he was in love with her.
“Is that it? Is that all you’re going to say?” She demanded to know. “I tell you I’m in love with you—and you tell me thanks and to get some sleep? Sleep?” Carm glared at him and started to brush past. “You’re such a dick.”
That’s my girl. Fuck, I love you.
To give her something to stew over, he flashed her a wicked grin as she stomped past, reaching out a hand. Giving her ass a nice stroke, Marek drawled, “I try, cheri. I really try.” When she slapped his hand away and offered a crude suggestion, his laughter escaped and echoed off the walls.
His laughter followed her curses all the way upstairs.
Twenty-Two
Carm was still steaming when she came downstairs the following morning. How dare Marek pat her on the ass and send her to bed like a child? It’s not like she’d told him anything important, like she was in love with him or anything.
She pushed her way through the French doors into the kitchen, her mind still replaying the scene from last night, and came to an abrupt halt. Marek stood at the counter with his back to her, gazing out the kitchen window. Her heart slammed brutally in her chest at the sight of him.
Ok, so he had come to her room late last night to make up.
But she was still pissed. Damn it, there ought to be a law against a man looking that good. Carm’s eyes traveled down Marek’s body, taking in his khaki linen button-up shirt and lightweight cream trousers. He’d rolled the hem of his trousers again, revealing the sleek length of his tanned calves and bare feet.
She was suddenly very aware that she wore nothing more than one of his old t-shirts. Very conducive clothing for hopping up on the counter and having her way with him.
Shaking off the thought—she was still mad, after all, and a girl had to have some discipline—Carm raked her hands through her tousled hair and cleared her throat. The tile floor was cool relief for her waking libido as she stepped into the sun lit kitchen.
Marek whipped his head around and locked eyes with her. For a suspended moment his eyes held hers, intense and unwavering. She could feel her blood pressure hike dangerously at the way he stared at her. Made her skin prickle with awareness as well.
Then the moment was lost and he tilted his mouth in a relaxed smile. “Sleep well, cheri?”
She cleared her throat again, last night’s naked activities flashing across her mind. Oddly, she felt a bit parched. “Um, yes I did.”
His smile finally reached his eyes, lighting the clear green depths. “Good. When I came to your room last night you were a little unsettled, so I climbed in next to you and you seemed to calm right down.”
She had been tossing and turning, her mind too restless for her to fall into a deep sleep. But as soon as his large warm body had settled in next to her and his strong arms wrapped around her, she’d fallen asleep like a baby.
Until he’d awakened her sometime in the dark hours to make mind-blowing love to her.
By the look on his face, he was feeling rather smug about that fact this morning. His smirk stirred the embers of her anger over his high-handedness, propelling her to goad him. “Yeah, well, women tend to like to sleep with the men they’re in love with. Tends to put us right out. How’d you sleep last night, Marek?”
She issued the challenge as she walked to the coffee pot and reached for a cup hanging on the sturdy mug tree next to it. She squeezed the oversized mug with palm trees on it and pretended it was his stubborn head. There was some satisfaction in that, small as it was.
Marek reached out a hand and brushed it over her tangled hair in a slow caress. His voice was low and soft when he replied, “With you in my arms I slept better than I have in ages, cheri.” He dropped his hand, and his voice changed to casual and breezy. “Do you like teaching? Is it something you would do even if you had money to do otherwise?”
What an odd question. What was he searching for? Carm glanced up from adding cream and sugar to her coffee and nodded. “Of course. I love teaching children. Why do you ask?”
Marek shrugged his shoulder and said, “What would it take to get certified—if you wanted to teach in another country?”
Ah.
Why couldn’t he just admit he loved her?
Carm pretended to contemplate his question as she took a sip of her coffee. “I’m not sure. I’ve never really given it much thought. I’m sure it wouldn’t be overly difficult.”
She watched Marek rub a hand over his chin in thought. Holding back a grin, she added, “But I’d really like to stay home when I have children of my own. Maybe I’ll pursue something different during that time and go back to teaching when they reach school age.”
Oh, she could see the wheels turning in his head at that. Smoke practically billowed out of his ears. His amazing eyes flashed with some unknown emotion when he asked, “You want children, oui? How many?”
He didn’t look entirely comfortable with the conversation and she bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing. She should say something like eight children to see how he reacted to it. “Oh, I don’t know. Six or so? The more the merrier in my opinion.” She deadpanned.
He blanched and she couldn’t hold the laughter inside any more. It burst out of her and filled the room. He realized she was joking and glared at her, even as his lips twitched.
Gaining control over her laughter, Carm held a hand to her chest and said between gulps of air, “I’m kidding. You should have seen the look on your face! I thought you were going to be sick.”
Marek took her coffee cup from her hand and placed it on the counter behind her and stepped in front of her, effectively pinning her in. He settled both his hands on each side of her and leaned forward until they were a few inches apart. “It’s not nice to tease a man about a thing like that, cheri. Could give him a heart attack. You’re supposed to say only one or two. We men can handle that.” He placed a soft kiss on her jaw and murmured, “Do you realize that if we had children they’d be of mixed heritage? Have you thought about how you’d feel about that?”
Memory of last night’s conversation flashed through Carm’s mind, the pain in his expression when he’d talked of his father’s disgust at his mixed ethnicity. Outrage and insult tried to grab hold insider her but fell flat before it had a finger-hold. She understood why Marek asked such an insulting question. He wanted to be reassured their children would be loved and accepted, like he never was.
Because she knew it was a delicate rope she walked, Carm kept her tone light but filled with conviction when she responded. “I don’t need to think about that, Marek. They’re my children. I would love them with everything I have in me and nothing less. The rest doesn’t matter. I love you, and I would love the children we made every bit as much, because they are part of you. And you know,” she added with a smile, “we would make beautiful babies.”
Marek had stilled his kisses along her jaw when she’d replied and looked deep in her eyes, his expression unreadable. Suddenly, the expression softened and his lips relaxed in a half-smile. He leaned forward and placed a warm kiss on her forehead, then on the tip of her nose. “We would make beautiful babies, cheri.” Pushing away, he stepped back and put some space between them. “Until then, I have to go down to the station to report the vandalism of my jeep. There’s also that issue Landon and I need to discuss with the detectives.”
Carm placed her hands on the kitchen counter ledge where his had just been
. Soothed by the warmth she found lingering there, she took a deep breath and said on the exhale, “We need to talk about us. What you want. What I want. Kate is going to send my birth certificate as soon as I call her this morning, and when it arrives I’ll be free to leave. And I can’t just stay here. Kate needs me with her when she gives birth.”
Marek didn’t like the idea of her going anywhere. Just her mention of it brought out the fire in him. Made him want to tear up her birth certificate when it arrived.
But her sister needed her. That was fact. He understood how important family was. If Carm said she had to go, well, she had to go.
But she was damned well coming right back.
He knew she was waiting for a response to her question about them. At the moment he didn’t have one to give her. Merde, he still had so much to work out in his mind about the—and she was talking about leaving. Cut a guy some fucking slack.
Marek’s attention was drawn toward the doors leading to the patio when Sunny appeared. A snort escaped him after seeing what she held in her mouth. The orange tabby yowled around her treasure and pawed at the glass door to be let in.
He planned to ignore her and his finish the discussion with Carm, but part of him was most definitely relieved at the interruption. It gave him a moment to collect his thoughts.
Until Carm screamed.
“What’s wrong?” Marek straightened from the doorframe leading to the living room and strode over to her. With his heart in his throat, he examined her for any bodily injury, any burns.
She pushed his probing hands away and covered her mouth with her own. With the other hand she pointed toward the patio, her big blue eyes bright with emotion. From behind her hand she squeaked, “Look! Your cat, Marek. Oh, shit. Look what she has in her mouth.” She flinched and averted her gaze. Staring up at Marek, she demanded, “Go get it. Get it and see if it’s still alive. You can’t let her have it.”
Marek looked from Carm’s highly agitated face to the bird Sunny held proudly in her teeth. The woman was squeamish and too damned soft for her own good. But damned if it didn’t warm his heart.
Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, he swallowed a grin and said, “Cheri, it’s just a little bird. Sunny catches them all the time. I’m told cats tend to like to do that upon occasion. Something about it being their natural food source and all.”
Carm slapped his hand away and snapped, “I don’t give a tinker’s damn about any of that. I want you to save the poor thing.” Then she turned those gorgeous blue eyes on him and added, “Please.”
He figured it probably wouldn’t be good to mention that the bird was probably already dead. Carm might get a tad upset over that. The vulnerable look on her face kept his comment unspoken.
Hell, he guessed if he got to play the hero, why not? Marek quickly strode across the terra cotta tiles and placed his hand on the doorknob. Turning it, the door swung silently open and Sunny yowled, trying to bring her prize inside.
Another squeal sounded behind him and a terse, “Don’t you dare let her inside with that! Get it from her before she kills it!”
It definitely wouldn’t help the situation to tell Carm the limp bird was already dead. Blocking the cat’s passageway, Marek glanced over his shoulder and grinned at the sight of competent, assured Carmen Hogue agitated on a small animal’s behalf. It was quite a sight to see with her messy morning hair and his big t-shirt riding high on her thighs.
Sunny growled and tried to wiggle past him into the kitchen. A chuckle escaped him when she flinched and closed her eyes. “Look, she’s trying to bring me a present. She’s letting me know she loves me.”
“Yeah, well, she can tell you that with a nice thank you card. Get that poor bird out of here.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
He figured he’d tormented Carm enough and kneeled down. Wedging his leg in the door, Marek turned sideways and reached an arm out through the narrow opening. The early morning scent of dew-covered flowers wafted up to greet him. This was his favorite time of day, when the sun was barely over the horizon and the freshness of morning still clung on the air.
A shrill yowl caught his attention, and Marek glanced down as Sunny backed away from the door. In the past he’d made the mistake of opening the door fully. The cat had pranced right on in, her catch in her mouth. He’d since learned not to.
Truth was, he didn’t like the sight much more than Carm did, but he sure enjoyed watching the woman squirm. It set the morning off right. And it showed him that the usually collected Carmen Hogue was indeed flappable.
Locking his eyes on the fat orange tabby, Marek muttered, “Give me the damned bird, Sunny. I really don’t want to touch it, but the lady behind me is a tiny bit upset over your display of affection. So, why don’t you put it down like a good kitty?”
The cat must have understood him because she growled loudly and backed further away. With a sigh, he stood up and pushed the door open all the way and stepped out onto the patio. Looked like he was going to have to corner her to get the little yellow bird from her. Merde, the lengths a man went to for the love of a woman. Pathetic.
As soon as he closed the door behind him, shutting out Carm’s voice, the cat turned around and darted off the patio across the grass. Marek had figured she’d do something like that. No way was she going to give up her breakfast.
He followed her down off the patio onto the damp grass and stopped. Inhaling deep the intense aroma of green grass, salt air, and spicy flowers, he glanced back at the kitchen and found Carm standing at the glass doors. Her hands still crossed her chest and a combination of worry and disappointment covered her pretty face.
He lifted his hands out, turned the palms up and shrugged. No way was he chasing after a cat with a dead bird. He had better things to do with his time. Like get her naked. His faded blue shirt skimmed the tops of her curvy thighs, tantalizing him with the sexy view. He wanted her with a need that almost overwhelmed him.
And after her declaration last night, he found that he needed her desperately as well. After he’d dismissed her with the sleep comment, he’d gone outside and walked down the trail to the ocean. For over an hour he’d sat and watched the moon mirror off the calm water of the cove. The silver moonlight had sparkled across the glassy surface.
He’d used the time to think about what he really wanted, really needed. And he’d come up with one simple answer: Carmen.
Fears still remained and gnawed at him this morning, however. They whispered in his ear. He knew he had to come to terms with them before he could offer her what she wanted most. It was becoming increasingly clear to him that he wanted the same thing.
It was a hell of a situation and one only Marek had the power to change. He just needed a little more time to come to terms with his feelings. Merde, so much had happened in such a short amount of time, his head was still spinning. And he thought he was handling it pretty damned well on the whole. It was not an easy thing for a man comfortable with his life, with no plans to fall in love and marry, to have all of those things happen to him in such a short span of time.
It’d drive most men to drink. Or it’d drive them away. Period.
He wanted to hang in there. Whatever issues, whatever hang-ups he had, he wanted to be with Carm. It was all just a whole lot to swallow for a mere man. And he needed a little breathing room to get up to the task. A guy had the right to come up for air, didn’t he?
Carm’s voice invaded his thoughts, jerking him out of his head. “Did Sunny run off with it?” Marek gave a quick nod. “Well, hell. That poor baby bird. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of saving it now.”
Marek shrugged again and apologized, “Sorry, cheri. Looks like she got this one.” He turned and started walking back toward the house, his toes sinking into the dense grass as he glanced at his Rolex. “Landon should be here any minute. You might want to put some pants on, unless you feel like greeting him in that. I’m fine with that, but Landon might get the wrong i
dea.” His attempt at humor did the trick. Carm’s eyes went wide as she glanced down at the old shirt.
“Shit! Why didn’t you say something when I first walked in this morning?”
He reached the doors and looked down, amusement twinkling in his eyes. With a grin he stated, “Because I liked the way you looked, cheri. I’m a visual kind of guy. And you’ve got fantastic legs. All long and curvy. Makes me want to get naked with you.”
Carm slapped a palm against his chest to ward off his advance. “No way. There’s no time for hanky-panky—,”
“There’s always time for hanky-panky—,”
“And I need to get dressed.”
Carm said no, but he saw the glimmer of interest flash in her bright blue eyes. It did his heart good to know that even though she’d been pissed at him last night she’d move past it to still be with him. Those were good qualities to have in a wife, because he was bound to piss her off from time to time. Forgiveness was a very, very good thing.
And maybe he should do a little something extra for that forgiveness. Like lick her body from head to toe, stopping for a while right in the middle until she came so hard it brought tears to her eyes. Fucking grand idea.
Snaking an arm out, Marek grabbed a fistful of t-shirt and reeled her in close. Carm sputtered and tried to form a refusal but it got lost when his mouth came down hot on hers. He groaned deep when she plastered to him instead and rubbed against his instant erection.
Whirling her until her back was to the wall, Marek trailed a blaze of wet kisses down her neck and nipped her below her ear. Her intake of breath and raspy moan fueled him and spurred him on until his body quaked with the need for release.
Small, slender hands clawed at this zipper and closed over his thick, steely length as soon as he was freed from his pants. Marek growled deeply as she squeezed him, fed teasing little strokes.
The need to fill Carm consumed him, pushing aside everything else until there was only her. The warm scent of her, the satin feel of her skin, the breathy sounds she made when he lifted her t-shirt and slipped a finger inside her slick folds. She was everywhere, everything.