by Teresa Roman
“I just hope you’ve been keeping this fling of yours discrete. The last thing our family needs is another stain. The Nico fiasco was bad enough.”
I wanted to scream at my mother and tell her to get out and leave me alone. She didn’t care that I felt ashamed about what I’d done when I’d tried to set Kat up to make it look like she was selling Nico’s family’s secrets to the tabloids. She didn’t care that I was humiliated when Nico found out all the rotten things I had done. No. My parents didn’t care about my feelings at all, or they wouldn’t have pushed me into staying in Monterra, a country where the king and queen literally hated me. But they had, and Alessandro was the one person who had made staying tolerable.
“I don’t care what anybody thinks about me or about Alessandro,” I said.
“Oh, come on. You can’t mean that,” my mother said, taking a seat on the sofa and crossing one leg primly over the other. She sighed before continuing. “I can’t wait for you to finish your degree and come back home. It’s going to be marvelous. Your father has a job lined up for you already. And, of course, London at Christmas can’t be missed, but you already know that.”
I should have been excited at the prospect, but somehow I’d gotten used to being on my own, to having no one to answer to, to throwing my hair into a ponytail and climbing on the back of Alessandro’s motorcycle. The problem was I didn’t know if I was ready to give up one way of life for the other. And why did I even have to? It seemed so unfair.
“How long are you staying in Monterra?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Just overnight,” my mother replied. “I have an engagement in Florence tomorrow, and thought I would visit my daughter first. I’ve missed you, you know.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Mum. Dad also.” I got up from the couch. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, nothing for me. I need to get some rest, so I’m just going to wash up and go to bed.”
I was almost relieved that my mother didn’t want to stay up and talk. In the morning we went out for breakfast and then went shopping. I hadn’t heard from Alessandro since he had said goodbye the night before and it worried me badly enough that I couldn’t even enjoy the new handbag I bought at one of the boutiques I visited with my mother.
A few hours after lunch, a driver came by to pick up my mother and just like that she was gone, but not before warning me that I had a reputation to uphold. As soon as her car drove off, I called Alessandro, but he didn’t reply. I wondered if he was upset with me for not insisting that he stay last night and formally introducing him to my mother. But her visit had taken me by surprise that I really didn’t have the time to think about doing those things until he was already gone. By nightfall, when Alessandro still hadn’t returned my call, I decided to try him again, but there was no answer.
I didn’t hear from him the next day or the day after that either, and began to get seriously worried. I started to contemplate showing up at his house, but instead decided to try and call him one more time. Just as I was about to dial his number, there was a knock on my door.
I walked over to it and called out, “Who is it?”
“Alessandro.”
My heart felt like it flew it out of my chest. I flung the door open and practically threw myself into Alessandro’s arms. He grasped my head in his hands and pressed his lips on mine hungrily parting my lips to deepen the kiss. We stumbled back inside kissing, winding our hands through each other’s hair, groping, touching.
“I thought you were cross with me,” I said as we fell down on the couch, me on top of Alessandro.
“And I thought your mother managed to convince you not to see me again,” he said. “I was afraid to pick up the phone. I kept thinking you were going to tell me you didn’t want to see me again.”
I punched him in his arm. “You had me really worried there for a while. Don’t do that again.”
Alessandro pulled me closer, pressing my body against his. I could feel his desire and wondered what I was waiting for already. He wanted me, I wanted him, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to make that leap. Still, when his hands reached under my shirt I didn’t pull them away. Instead I did the same, sliding my hands over the thick muscles of his sweat slicked back. He arched his body as my hands explored. It was only when he I felt him reach under my bra that I gasped and pulled away.
“You’re still not ready?” Alessandro said, for the first time actually sounding angry about it.
I sat up and looked down at Alessandro. “You’re upset with me?”
“No…Yes.” He shook his head and grunted. “Maybe a little.”
“I thought you said you were okay with waiting.”
Alessandro got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth. When he finally stopped he turned to face me. “Waiting isn’t the problem.”
“Then what is.”
“The problem is the reason you want me to wait,” Alessandro began. “You may think I’m not very smart because I’m just a farmer, but I know you better than you think I do. I’m not the man you want and it’s time I finally admit that to myself.”
“You’re not being fair,” I said, defensively. “It’s not that I don’t want you. I do, I really do, but a person doesn’t always get what they want. Especially people like me. I was honest with you about my situation from the beginning. I told you what I was looking for when we got together and you seemed to be okay with it.”
“I was at first, but you know that changed. I told you weeks ago that I wanted more and I tried hard to make you want the same thing I did, but I see now that I have failed. In six weeks you’ll be done with your classes and you’ll pack your bags and run back to England and I can’t stick around and wait for you to do that.”
I walked up to Alessandro and put my hand on his arm. “You could come with me, you know.”
“And what, be your secret boyfriend?”
I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that I wouldn’t do that to him, but the words froze on my lips.
“Besides, there’s nothing for me in England. My family’s here, my work, my home.”
“The same would be true for me if I stayed in Monterra.”
“No, it wouldn’t be. You’ve met my family, you know how much they like you.”
“My father has a job already lined up for me in London. What would I do for work if I stayed in Monterra? Plant strawberries all day long?”
“You act like there’s something wrong with that,” Alessandro said. “Claire, I’ve seen the way your face lights up when we’re out in the countryside. You come alive. And you’ve said it yourself, you’re not interested in what you’ve been studying. It’s not even what you want to do.”
I turned my back to Alessandro and crossed my arms over my chest. How could he be asking me to give up everything I’d been used to, my entire way of life, possibly even my family? Couldn’t he tell how hard this was for me? I didn’t want to say goodbye to him anymore than he wanted to say it to me.
“You don’t know what you’re asking, Alessandro.”
“Yes, I do. I’m asking you to take a leap of faith. To believe in me, in us…but it’s clear you won’t do it.”
He headed for the door.
“Alessandro, please.”
He turned his head. “I’m sorry, Claire,” he said, opening the door and walking out.
I ran to the door, pulled it open and called out to him again, but he just kept walking.
Chapter 8
All night I kept asking myself what the bloody hell had just happened. One minute Alessandro and I were kissing and the next he was walking away from me—for good.
I should have tried harder to make him see things from my perspective. At least that’s what I told myself. But by the end of the week, I wasn’t sure that was right anymore. A little voice inside my head kept telling me that I was the one who hadn’t tried hard enough to see things from his point of view. I’d all but told him from day one that he wasn’t good enough
for a serious relationship, that my family and acquaintances would never accept him. How had I not once stopped to realize how much those words would hurt? And what right did I have to treat him like that when, truthfully, I was the one who wasn’t good enough for him?
I desperately needed someone to talk to, someone to help me sort through my feelings, but I had no idea who to turn to. I couldn’t talk to my parents. Nor could I talk to my friends—not that I had many left. Most of the people I had spent time with before had turned their back on me and were now Kat’s friends.
After a week with no word at all from Alessandro, I finally broke down and decided to call my cousin Bridgette, the one who had eloped a few years ago with a man her parents didn’t approve of. If anyone would understand my predicament, it was her. The only problem was I hadn’t spoken to her in years. I found her number in my contact list and as I dialed I prayed she wouldn’t hang up on me.
When she answered, I launched in to an apology over the fact that we hadn’t spoken since she had married and begged her not to hang up.
“Oh come on, Claire, I would never hang up on you,” Bridgette said. “What’s the matter? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so frantic before.”
I told her about the way Alessandro and I had met, how I had meant for him to distract me from thinking about Nico, but instead we had grown closer than I ever imagined, and now I had no idea what to do. “If I choose to stay here in Monterra with him, my parents will cut me off. I’ll have to find a job on my own, I won’t be able to afford the rent on my apartment,” I said, realizing how shallow I sounded as the words came out of my mouth. Those were the kinds of problems people struggled with every day, except those people didn’t have someone as wonderful as Alessandro by their side.
“The alternative is returning to England without him, which I get the feeling you don’t want to do or else you wouldn’t have called me,” Bridgette said.
Ugh. It was all so painfully clear. I didn’t want to lose Alessandro. I wanted him more than I wanted a fancy apartment or a cushy job or enough money to go on fancy shopping sprees and trips to Monte Carlo whenever the desire hit.
“Claire, are you still there?” my cousin asked. I had gotten so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard what she had just asked.
“Yes, I’m still here. Sorry, I got distracted. What were you saying again?”
“I asked you if you love Alessandro.”
It took only a moment to mull over the answer to that question. “Yes. Yes, I do.” The minute those words were out of my mouth, I started to cry. I loved Alessandro and I might have just chased him away for good. How could I have been so stupid?
“Then you know what you need to do, right?” Bridgette asked.
“Yes,” I replied, choking back tears. “Listen Bridgette, I just want to say sorry again for the way I treated you after you got married, and thank you for listening to me and giving me advice, even though I don’t deserve it.”
“All is forgiven, Claire.” I heard a baby crying in the background. Bridgette had a child and I didn’t even know. “But I really do have to get going now. Call Alessandro, okay? And then ring me again in a few days to let me know what happened.”
*
My cousin had told me to call Alessandro, but with him refusing to answer, that left me with only one choice. I needed to go and look for him. It was too late at night for me to do that, which meant I would have to wait until morning.
As I lay in bed that night, Alessandro’s words from a few weeks came back to me. The ones he had said to me after our date at the Russo vineyard. He told me then that he wanted to be my man and that he would prove to me that the two of us could work out. At the time I thought he was announcing his attention to pursue me; that he would keep asking me to stay in Monterra. But that wasn’t how he’d gone about things. Over the past few weeks Alessandro had been showing me what a life with him would be like. He had taken me to his farm and introduced me to his family, hoping that I would fall in love with them just as I had with him. Except I’d been too stupid to realize it until it was too late. He wasn’t the type to waste words, Alessandro believed in showing his feelings rather than telling you what they were. It was an admirable trait.
The next morning, I got out of bed early. It wasn’t particularly hard to do either since I’d barely slept the entire night. I called for a taxi and then stared at my reflection in the mirror while I waited. I looked positively dreadful thanks to too much crying and a lack of sleep.
When I arrived at Alessandro’s house, I knocked on the door. His father answered.
“Is Alessandro here?” I asked, wondering how much his dad knew about what was going on between the two of us.
“He’s in one of the orchards,” Mr. Conti told me.
“How do I get to him?”
“It’s a long walk. Why don’t you wait inside for him? He’ll be back for lunch.”
I shook my head. “No. I need to see him now.”
Mr. Conti explained how to find Alessandro and I headed out on the winding path that just a few weeks ago Alessandro had driven his tractor on when he showed me around. By the time I reached the orchard, I was tired and thirsty. I weaved my way through the rows of trees, hoping to catch sight of him. When I finally did, I was tempted to run away. What if he couldn’t forgive me? The idea was so frightening that I wanted to put life on pause until I built up enough courage to handle his possible rejection of me. But life didn’t work that way.
“Alessandro,” I called out to him, hoping that I’d been loud enough for him to hear me.
He turned his head and I took a step closer.
“What are you doing here, Claire?”
“I need to talk to you, and since you wouldn’t answer your phone…”
“There’s nothing left to say. I know I promised to help you forget your problems, but I just can’t give you what you want anymore. I’m sorry.” Alessandro turned his back to me.
“What I want is you, Alessandro.” My voice cracked as the words came out of my mouth. I hadn’t intended on breaking down like that, but Alessandro made me feel so vulnerable. It was ironic that the reason I had let him get to know me as well as he had was because I thought we had no future, but opening up to him had forged a connection between us I couldn’t deny.
“For how long? Until you decide that being an English Lady is better than being a Monterran farmer?”
“I don’t care about titles or money or any of those things anymore. Without you they mean nothing to me,” I said. Alessandro turned around. By the look on his face I could tell I hadn’t convinced him. “You don’t get it.”
“What is it that I don’t get?” he asked.
“I love you, that’s what.” I practically shouted the words.
“You what?” Alessandro said, his expression a mix of disbelief and surprise.
“You heard me,” I said wrapping my arms around my body and lowering my voice. “I said I love you.”
“Amore mio,” Alessandro said walking toward me. When he reached me he put his hand on my chin tilting my face up to look into his eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that.” Without giving me a chance to respond, Alessandro pulled me closer to him, my hands dropped to my sides, and as he leaned in for a kiss my arms reached around him.
“What does this mean, Claire?” he asked after his lips finally left mine. “Please tell me it means you’ve decided to stay with me in Monterra.”
I nodded and bit my lower lip to keep myself from smiling like an idiot.
Alessandro took my hand. “Come, we need to go somewhere and talk.” He led me through the trees until we got to a clearing. “How did you get out here?” he asked.
“I walked.”
“It’s a long walk from my house. You must be exhausted.”
“Not really. I was very motivated.”
Alessandro smiled and lifted me into his arms.
“What are you doing?”
“What is this place?”
“A guest house. We have two on our property. Come inside, I want to show it to you.”
I was too busy staring at Alessandro to pay attention as we walked inside. As soon as Alessandro closed the door behind us I pulled him closer pressing my lips onto his. It had been only a little over a week since our fight, but even a few days without him was too long.
Alessandro lifted me into his arms again and carried me over to the couch. His tongue grazed every inch of my neck, leaving me practically gasping. My tongue teased him right back. I lifted his shirt kissing the skin on his well-sculpted chest.
“Claire,” he breathed. “We better stop. You have no idea how crazy you’re making me right now.”
“Good,” I whispered into his ear. My heart thudded wildly in my chest as I said, “Because I want you.”
He stared into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
I nodded slowly and Alessandro lifted me into his arms. He carried me into a bedroom and lay me down before showing me a taste of heaven I’d never even imagined was possible.
Chapter 9
Alessandro thought it was for the best that I finish my classes, since I only had six weeks left and I grudgingly agreed with him. Not knowing how my parents would react to my announcement that I was in love with a farmer and planned on staying in Monterra, I decided that it was better to wait until I had my degree in my hands before I told them that I wasn’t coming back to England.
Over those six weeks Alessandro and I began renovating the guest house where we made love for the first time. It was small, but I loved it anyway, and couldn’t wait to live there with him. When the time came to tell my parents, things went worse—and surprisingly better than I’d expected. My mother was livid, swearing that I had disappointed her terribly, and vowing never to speak to me again.