Her dad’s eyes swept the table and everyone on it. ‘I made choices I believe others will understand—and if they don’t, then it’s a judgement I deserve.’ He pushed back his chair. ‘This is my responsibility.’
‘Dad…’ she mumbled, using the loving title for the first time since returning.
He smiled at her. ‘You need to find that man of yours and tell him how you feel. Leave the story to me. Trust me, nuur il-’en. I won’t let you down this time.’
With tears in her eyes, she too stood, walked around to her father and touched his arm: the closest she’d voluntarily come to him in five years. ‘Thank you, Dad.’
There was only one way. She called the number on the card Alim’s driver had given her—Alim’s private number. ‘Hi. It’s me. I’m stuck in my sister’s house, surrounded by the media. Can you send a car for me, with some men to help me through the crowd?’
‘Of course.’ Alim’s voice was reserved, so tired. ‘Do you need anything more?’
‘I need to see you. We need to talk.’ She gulped and coughed to clear the thickness in her throat. ‘Can I come to you?’
‘I’ll come to you.’
‘The house is surrounded, Alim. In the palace they can’t get to us, or put cameras through the windows. Tell the guards to come to the back door and knock four times.’
‘All right, then. I’ll be waiting for you in my private study.’ He sounded so neutral…
What more did she deserve? But now, this night, she wasn’t giving in to fear again. This wasn’t about protecting herself from pain. She’d done that for too many years, and had only emptiness as her reward. She hung up and raced for the shower…
Fifteen minutes later, she was ready when a knock came at the back door. She opened it, and two burly, exquisitely dressed guards ushered her down the stairs and around the front. The press, all avidly listening to her father, made a dash for her as she ran to the saloon car, but the guards yelled, ‘Miss al-Sud has no comment,’ and elbowed any intrepid reporter out of the way.
The trip to the palace was followed by a dozen cars, and a few racing motorbikes with photographers snapping pictures of her.
The gates opened. The car drove around the back. The guards handed her out and raced her up the stairs, inside and to the left.
They opened the doors for her, and in another exquisite room, quietly appointed in cherrywood and strong masculine pieces, Alim stood by the empty fireplace, his forehead resting on his hand. ‘Hi,’ she said when the guards closed the door behind her.
He didn’t look up, didn’t turn to her. ‘Hi.’
He sounded so unutterably weary, her heart jerked. ‘A rough few days?’
‘A rough few weeks,’ he agreed. ‘I’m exhausted, Hana, so let’s get this over with.’
For the first time since their rescue, he wasn’t opening his heart to her. He was expecting a kiss-off…or maybe he wanted one.
I will not run. I won’t be a coward again! Alim deserved to know how she felt.
But as she drew close to him she chickened out. ‘I thought you should know Dad’s with the press now, telling the true story, about Mukhtar, Latif and me…and you.’ She took a step to him, and another, her heart aching.
‘My press secretary told me. It’s already on the TV,’ Alim said on a sigh. ‘That’s good of your father. Your name’s being cleared. They’ll all love you again.’
‘But that wasn’t why I came,’ she blurted out, angry with herself for being so weak. ‘I came to say…to say…’ She sighed in self-fury, and closed her eyes and said whatever came to her head. ‘I can’t do this any more, Alim. I can’t lie to myself and pretend—’
‘Pretend what, Hana?’ he asked, his voice hard and ragged at once. ‘While you’ve been hiding out with your family to support you, I’ve been facing the press, the people, learning the job over again. Harun and Amber left the same day you did. He’s gone incommunicado and left me with everything. I’m doing it alone, barely getting three hours’ sleep a night, so can we get this over with?’
She blinked at him…but saw in his words the blunt honesty of a man on the edge of falling down. A man who desperately needed her but wouldn’t say it. Expecting her to run again and refusing to fight any longer. He accepted her as she was, even now…
At that, Hana forgot her needs and fears, and ran to him. She put down the box she’d brought on the desk beside them, and took him into her arms. ‘You’re not alone. I’m here,’ she whispered, kissing his cheek, holding him—and it felt so good to be giving, this time in honesty. ‘I came to give you something.’
‘Do I want it?’ he muttered into her hair, holding onto her as if she were a lifeline, breathing in deeply, and she was glad she’d put on the lavender again.
She smiled. ‘I hope so.’ Reaching behind her, she brought the box to him. ‘Open it.’
He looked down at the sandalwood box he’d given her in the car weeks before. ‘Why…?’
‘Just open it,’ she insisted softly. She couldn’t wait much longer.
He opened the box. On top of the emergency escape kit he’d given her was her burq’a. He stared at the contents, then looked up at her, his eyes hollow with exhaustion. There was a question there.
‘Read the note,’ she said quietly.
He found it beneath the burq’a. Hana cannot run without these. And he looked at her again. Either he wasn’t getting it, or he wanted her to say it.
She reached up and kissed those poor, tired eyes, one by one. ‘I’m giving them to you. I’m entrusting you with my treasures, Alim. I won’t run without them, and I don’t want to run without you. You’re my peace, my best friend, my love. If you can’t disappear when the going gets tough, neither will I.’ She held his face in her hands and said, ‘I won’t be a coward any more. I love you, Alim, and whatever you need me to be—whatever the country will allow me to be for you—I’ll be it.’
With a swift movement, he tossed the box in a far corner. ‘Hana,’ he said hoarsely, turning her face and kissing her mouth like a man parched. ‘My star, you’d better mean this, because I’ll never give you this box back. I’ll never let you go again.’
‘Good,’ she said, intense with all the emotion she’d kept from him all this time, giving him everything but the one thing he’d needed: herself. Now she was open to him at last, and she’d never hide from him again. ‘I need you so much, Alim. I need to be beside you every day of my life. If the people won’t let us marry—’
He pulled back to grin at her. He looked haggard, hollow-eyed, and so happy she knew she’d never be a coward again. The rewards for true courage were perfect and life-changing. ‘You haven’t been reading the papers, have you? There’s been a huge backlash against the stories about you. The people know I’d never have come back but for you. You saved my life and gave me back to them. That’s far more important to them than any bloodline.’ His eyes darkened. ‘But if the whole country was against us I’d still marry you, Sahar Thurayya. They might need me, but I need you.’
‘And I need you. I love you so much.’ She melted against him. ‘I really need you to kiss me,’ she murmured, reaching up to bring him down to her.
The long, frantic kiss was everything she’d dreamed of in the longest two weeks of her life without him; being close to him, feeling his love for her—
‘I’ve been going insane without you,’ he whispered between kisses. ‘I thought you’d never come back, that I had nothing to offer you that would make you stay.’
She kissed him again and again. ‘You,’ she mumbled back. ‘You’re all I need—and to be needed, Alim. Seeing you on TV, how strong and brave you are but so alone…’
‘You’ll take the job?’ he asked, moulding her body along his, as if making an imprint of her on him. ‘It’s not an easy place to be, Sahar Thurayya. But we can change the world from here. We can help make things better.’
‘An irresistible offer to a control freak like me,’ she laughed, and kissed him agai
n. ‘But I warn you, my love, I won’t be your common, garden variety queen.’ Me, a queen, she thought in wonder. Was she in a fairy tale, or dreaming? But Alim felt so wonderfully real against her, the desire filling her so perfect…‘You know I won’t bend to the rules all the time, and will break them half the time.’
He chuckled, and another long kiss followed. ‘Think I don’t know that? I know you, my star—and I happen to think rattling some cages will be good for the stick-in-the-muds. I intend rattling more than a few cages myself.’
The doors burst open after a quick knock. ‘My lord, there’s something you need to see—’ The man goggled at the sight of his ruler locked in an embrace with the woman who’d saved his life, and began backing out of the room with profuse, mumbled apologies.
Alim said coolly, ‘Put everything on hold unless it’s national emergency, Ratib. I’m spending quality time with my wife-to-be.’
‘Yes, of course, my lord…’ The doors closed.
He winked at her. ‘Ten, nine, eight…and the whole palace knows.’ And from behind him, in a drawer in the desk, he brought out a long, wide, dark-red velvet box and opened it. ‘Your engagement present,’ he said gently. ‘When my mother knew she was dying, she chose these for my future bride, hoping she’d like diamonds. I’ve kept it with me like a talisman the past few weeks, trying to believe you’d come back to me.’
Hana gasped, staring down at the rose-gold ring with a dazzling diamond solitaire, with bracelets, earrings and a necklace to match. ‘Oh…oh, Alim…’
Alim took her left hand from his shoulder, and, with a smile, slid the ring onto her finger—he’d had it resized with the help of Hana’s parents, with whom he’d been in daily contact. ‘At last,’ he growled softly, and leaned to do something he’d fantasised about through the long, lonely weeks without her: nibble on her ear. ‘No more doubts. No running away.’
‘Never,’ she breathed, her face alight and shining with desire and love. He kissed the pulse-point behind her jaw and her head fell back, her face flushed and her chest rose and fell with breaths of growing passion. ‘Alim, I love you, I want you so much. Don’t make me wait for a massive wedding,’ she cried, her voice throbbing with desire.
He’d come a long way from the man who believed no woman could want him—but when he nuzzled her neck, he revelled in the way her body quivered against him. Then he drew back, his face holding the rueful acceptance in his heart. ‘We have little choice in the waiting, my star. You’re going to be a ruler’s wife, the equivalent of a queen. The people will expect to share in the full, traditional courtship. We also have to coordinate a time that the Heads of State who wish to come will be able to attend. We can’t offend anyone. It’ll take at least four to six months.’
Her eyes closed hard; her lips pressed together. ‘I thought you’d say that,’ she whispered glumly, ‘but, oh, it’s going to be so hard, waiting months for you. I want you now.’ She buried her blushing face in his chest. ‘I’m sorry, I know I’m not the traditional view of what I should be, but I can’t help it. I love you, I want you so much.’
She spoke of the ancient tradition where a woman must fight her man against his taking her to prove her innocence and chastity, a woman worth keeping…but Alim already knew that and more about his brave, lovely dawn star. She’d healed him heart and soul, made him a man and a ruler again…for the first time in his life, he truly felt whole. He smiled, moved by the depth of her love for him. ‘And never was a tradition broken that means more to me,’ he replied, kissing her nose, her mouth. ‘Nothing about us has followed tradition, my star, but for a little while, now, we have to. It’s important that the people see our courtship as pure and honourable.’
He heard her gulp. ‘All right…then we shouldn’t be alone at any time until we’re married, because all you have to do is touch me, and I quiver and ache with need for you.’ She held him hard as his mind blanked out with the intensity of his happiness. ‘I didn’t mean that I don’t want to see you. I want to be with you all the time, but when I am, all I want is to touch you. And when I touch you, all I want is to make love with you.’
How could he not love, adore this woman? He lifted her face to his. ‘Hana, your parents named you perfectly, because you are my happiness.’
She smiled up at him. ‘And your parents were right, too, because you’ve been so wise in everything you’ve done for me, and in waiting for me.’ She went up on her toes to kiss him again and again. ‘I want to be by your side every day, every night for the rest of my life.’
‘You will be,’ he murmured as he turned her around to clasp the diamond necklace around her throat, the bracelet around her wrist: the traditional signs of a bridegroom who cherished his wife-to-be. As he placed the gold and amber veil of the engaged woman on her head, the final part of his first engagement gift to her, he murmured again, ‘You will be.’
Epilogue
Eight years later
‘SHE’S all scrunched and wrinkly,’ four-year-old Tariq pronounced. He was looking down at his only sister, born the night before, with a touch of distaste.
‘She’s supposed to be, silly. Babies are all ugly—but she’ll get prettier, and you’re still ugly,’ their oldest, six-and-a-half-year-old Fadi, said, shoving at his little brother with an open palm. Tariq responded with a shove back, setting off their youngest son Sami, making the two-year-old wail in indignation.
‘Boys, boys, Mama’s too tired for this—and you’ll wake Johara,’ Alim reproved his sons, but with an indulgent air as he gathered their youngest son in his arms to comfort him.
Having their children with them every single day, all the time when they weren’t immersed in affairs of state, was a tradition Hana had begun with Fadi’s birth. She’d refused every argument against breast-feeding her children, and insisted on both parents seeing their children for at least a few hours every day—she called it playtime. The family also ate together on every night there were no visitors of state.
With the boys being natural children who knew how to behave—well, mostly, but their occasional childish outbursts made people laugh more than they censured—almost everyone in the nation was convinced of his wife’s wisdom. The initial resistance to their marriage, in the more traditional, old-fashioned sector of the nation, soon faded when they saw how much Hana loved him. The people loved Hana for being one of them, remembering her roots and being proud of them. Alim loved that his children felt free to climb on his lap or come to him for a cuddle instead of their nanny or tutor when they were tired or had hurt themselves. His children were completely themselves, felt free to laugh or play or yell when the family were alone…and they knew they were loved by their parents.
And Alim knew his wife utterly adored him.
Hana had taken months of lessons in royal deportment, but they hadn’t lasted long. She’d completely failed at royal reserve in public; she spoke her mind, and the people loved her for being their advocate against highborn self-interest.
They also loved her for not being able to hide that she loved her husband to distraction.
His two oldest sons kept fighting until Alim put up his hand. ‘I said Mama’s tired. Fadi, you’re old enough to control yourself for your mother’s sake. She’s in pain.’
Fadi sobered, looking anxiously at Hana. ‘Did you hurt yourself, Mama?’
Hana gave her boys a tired, loving smile. It had been a quick but painful birth for her, and as usual, she’d refused pain relief. ‘It always hurts having a baby, my angel—but Johara’s worth the pain. You were all worth the pain.’
Alim quickly took a sleeping Johara from his wife’s arms as the boys, hearing the ‘Mama needs a cuddle’ note in her voice, scrambled over the bed to reach her first. Sami wailed again when he didn’t win, and his older brothers staked their claim all over her; but Hana made a place for him at her breast, and he snuggled in with a happy sigh.
An hour later, when he could see Hana was struggling to keep her eyes open, Alim called for
Raina, the nanny, who ushered the children out after many lingering hugs and kisses. The boys would be spending the night with Hana’s parents, in the magnificent house near the palace Alim had given them as a bride gift. Hana’s brother and sisters and their families were joining Malik and Amal, to celebrate Johara’s birth. Harun and Amber were coming also, from wherever in the world they were now. Harun, finally free to do as he wished, had first fought for his marriage, and won Amber back. To his surprise, he’d discovered the wife he’d barely known shared his passion for ancient history—so when he’d gone back to his archaeology studies, she’d studied right alongside him. Now his little family—they were due to have their third child in about twelve weeks—roamed the world as they discovered the past together.
And Alim couldn’t be happier for him.
He put his sleeping daughter in her cradle by the bed and covered her tenderly. About to leave the room—there was a mountain of work waiting in his office—he saw his wife watching him, saw the ‘Hana needs a cuddle’ look on her face, mentally tossed the work out the window and lay beside her on the bed, taking her into his arms. ‘You okay?’
She made a small sound of contentment as she snuggled close, her head in the hollow of his shoulder. ‘I am now.’
The sleepy note in her voice was infectious, and he found himself yawning too. ‘Hmm, maybe I can grab a quick nap.’ Though Hana had cared for the baby last night, he’d woken most times with her, changed the nappies, and could never resist holding his tiny daughter in his arms for a few minutes, just looking at her, loving her. Much as they loved their boys and wouldn’t change them, they’d wanted a daughter for so long.
At his words, Hana rolled carefully over to the phone, and dialled four, to her personal assistant. ‘Roula, I want no disturbances for either of us for an hour, please. My husband and I are tired. Yes, thank you.’ She moved back into his arms, smiling up at him, her eyes heavy with exhausted love. ‘No talking now. Johara will wake up soon enough for a feed.’ She snuggled down, rolling over so he held her close.
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