“Marry me.” He picked up her left hand, looking down at the diamond on her finger. His lips curved upward. “You already have the ring.”
“But I thought your proposal was a lie!”
“It was.”
She shook her head tearfully. “So why are you saying this? We’re alone. You’ve already convinced Oliveira. You don’t need to pretend, not anymore!”
“I’m not pretending.” Bending his head, he kissed her hand, making her tremble with the sensation of his warm lips against her skin. He looked up. “I need you, Laura,” he said huskily. “I don’t want to lose you. Marry me. Now. Today.”
She licked her lips, feeling like she were in a dream.
“What about Robby?”
Setting his jaw, Gabriel straightened.
“Perhaps I can’t love him. But I can give him my name. I can give you both the life you deserve. And I can be faithful to you, Laura. I swear it.”
It was so close to everything she’d ever wanted. Gabriel would be her husband. He would be a father, at least in name, to their child. And if some part of her warned that this was a fool’s bargain, to marry a man who could not love her, she still couldn’t resist. Her heart overrode her reason and she succumbed to the temptation of her heart’s deepest desire.
With a tearful sob, she flung her arms around him in her bulky white cotton robe, kissing him as the sun finally broke, vivid and golden, over the fresh blue Atlantic.
“Yes!” she cried with a sob. “Oh, yes!”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Two weeks later, Laura stared at herself blankly in the mirror.
An elegantly dressed bride in a long, white lace veil and satin sheath gown stared back at her. It still didn’t feel right. She picked up her neatly bundled bouquet of white roses and looked back in the mirror.
It was the morning of her wedding. In less than an hour she would have everything she’d barely dared to dream of—she’d be Mrs. Gabriel Santos. Robby would have his father.
So where was the joy? She should have been ecstatic with bliss and hope. So why, looking at herself in this beautiful dress, standing in a suite of this beautiful rented mansion outside her village, did she feel so…empty?
Gabriel had wanted to marry her immediately, in Rio, but he’d quickly given in to Laura’s begging when she’d asked to have their wedding in New Hampshire, so her family could attend.
“We can get married in New Hampshire, of course we can, if that’s your wish,” he’d told her. “But after the ceremony, we must live in Rio. Do you agree?”
She’d agreed. She’d been lost in romantic bliss, and all she’d thought about was getting married to the man she loved, in a beautiful wedding surrounded by friends and family.
She hadn’t bothered to think about what would happen afterward. Gabriel had already signed the preliminary contracts to acquire Açoazul SA, and he now planned to merge the company with Santos Enterprises and permanently move the headquarters from New York City to Rio de Janeiro.
Starting tomorrow, she and Robby would live far away from her family, far from the people who actually loved them. Laura would be the wife of a man who didn’t love her, a man who would offer only financial support to the child he didn’t know was his son. A child he could never love.
Now, Laura was dressed in an exquisite 1920s-style designer gown and her great-grandmother’s old lace veil. In ten minutes, she would go downstairs to get married in this beautiful place. The Olmstead mansion was a lavish house of forty rooms built by a now-bankrupt hedge fund manager, currently rented out for weddings. It sat among acres of rolling hills with its own private lake, a winter wonderland. And after the elegant ceremony in the gray stone library filled with flowers, a reception would follow in the ballroom, a lavish sit-down dinner of steak, lobster and champagne.
Laura had fretted about having such a luxurious wedding, worrying she’d steal her little sister’s thunder from two weeks ago. Gabriel had smiled and picked up the phone. Within minutes, he’d arranged to send Becky and her new husband to Tahiti on honeymoon, via his private jet. He’d created college funds for young Margaret and Hattie, to allow them to go to university.
For their mother, he’d completely paid off the mortgage on the farm, and even helped out Ruth’s dearest friend, a neighboring woman with a sick child, by paying for medical care.
All of this, and he’d still deposited the agreed-upon million dollars into Laura’s bank account.
“A deal’s a deal,” he’d told Laura when she’d thrown her arms around him with a sob of delight. “I will always take care of you. That means taking care of your family.”
Laura bit her lip, furrowing her brow as she stared at herself in the mirror. She had everything she’d ever wanted. And yet.
“Your family,” Gabriel had said. Not our family.
He didn’t love her. He didn’t love Robby. And he still didn’t know the truth.
What difference does it make? she argued with herself. Her love for Gabriel could be enough for both of them. He would still provide for Robby financially, living in the same house, acting exactly like a father in so many ways. What difference did the truth make?
Except it made a huge difference. In fact, truth was everything. Because without truth, how could there be love?
Her troubled eyes looked back at her in the mirror.
But if she told Gabriel now that he really was Robby’s father, if he knew she’d lied to him all this time, she might lose everything she had. He would never forgive her for the lie. He might—almost certainly would—call off the wedding. Why would he take her as his wife if he couldn’t trust her? Then he might sue for custody of Robby, and take her baby away from her out of duty—or even a desire to punish her.
But her conscience stung her. Didn’t Gabriel deserve to know the truth before he pledged himself to her for the rest of his life?
She heard a knock, and her mother’s smiling face peeked around the door. “All ready, sweetling? Your sisters are waiting and eager to be bridesmaids.”
Laura took a deep breath, clutching her bouquet in her cold, shaking hands. “Is it already time?”
“Just a few more minutes. The last guests are arriving now…” Then, as Laura turned to face her in her 1920s-style gown and her great-grandmother’s long veil, Ruth gasped, and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Laura,” she whispered. “You’re beautiful.”
Laura’s lips trembled as she smiled. “You look amazing, too, Mom.”
Her mother shook her head dismissively at the compliment, then came forward to embrace her, looking chic in pearls and a mother-of-the-bride suit of light cream silk. “I’m going to miss you and Robby so much when you’re in Rio,” she choked out. “You’ll be living so far away.”
Laura fought back tears. Though she adored the energy of Rio, the warmth of the people and the beauty of Brazil, the thought of moving permanently to the other side of the Equator, far from her family and home, caused wrenching pain in her heart. If her husband loved her, it might be endurable. But as it was…Choking back a sob, she squeezed her mother tight and tried to reassure her. “We’ll be just a quick plane ride away.”
“I know.” Her mother pulled away with a smile, even as her eyes glistened with tears. “My consolation is that I know you’re going to be happy. Really, truly happy.” She paused. “Gabriel is Robby’s father, isn’t he?”
Laura sucked in her breath. “How did you know?”
Her mother’s smile widened. “I’ve got eyes, haven’t I? I see how you are together. How you’ve always been. He’s crazy about you.”
Apparently her mother didn’t see as much as she thought. Blinking back tears, Laura swallowed and said over the lump in her throat, “We have some…problems.”
Her mother laughed. “Of course you do. There were times I was ready to kill your father. But now—” her voice broke “—the problems we had seem small. I would give anything to have him here again, arguing with me.” She paused. “I know love isn’t simple o
r easy. But you’ll do the right thing. You always do.”
Laura swallowed yet again. “Not always.”
Ruth smiled. “Your father used to call you Little Miss Trustworthy. Of all my children, you were the easiest to raise. And now, the hardest to let go.” Her mother shook her head, wiping away her tears. “Look at me. Here I am, making a mess of myself after Gabriel bought me this expensive dress.”
“You’re calling him Gabriel,” Laura said.
“Well, what else would I call my son-in-law?” She kissed her daughter on the cheek. “He’s not your boss now. A husband is quite a different matter.” With a little laugh, she turned to leave in a soft cloud of lavender perfume. “Husbands need to be reminded not to take themselves too seriously.”
“Wait,” Laura whispered.
Her mother stopped at the door. “Yes, sweetie?”
Laura clenched her hands. The bodice of her wedding gown suddenly felt inexplicably tight.
She was standing on a precipice and knew it. The choice she made today would change the entire course of her life. And her son’s life, as well.
You’ll do the right thing. You always do.
“I need to see Gabriel,” she choked out. “Will you send him up to me?”
Her mother frowned. “Right now? It’s bad luck to see the bride. Can’t it wait an hour?”
In an hour, they’d be married. Not trusting her voice, Laura shook her head. With a sigh, her mother closed the door. Five minutes later, Gabriel appeared.
“You wanted to see me, querida?” he said huskily.
A lump rose in Laura’s throat as she looked at her handsome husband-to-be, at the brutal power of his body barely contained in the sophisticated tuxedo. She was suddenly reminded of the last time he’d been in a tuxedo, when he’d kissed her in the shadowy gardens at the Fantasia Ball, then made love to her on the hood of his car overlooking the dark, moonlit ocean…
She set her bouquet on the vanity. “I need to ask you something.”
His lips curved as he came up to her, stroking her face. “What is it, minha esposa?”
His wife. She swallowed, looking up at him.
“Do you love me?” she whispered.
He stiffened. Staring down at her, his handsome eyes became expressionless and dark. She waited, her heart pounding.
“I thought we agreed,” he finally said. “I care for you, Laura. I admire you and I always will. I lust for you and want you in my life.”
Her heart fell to her white satin shoes.
“But you don’t love me,” she said softly.
He set his jaw. “I told you from the start. I can’t love anyone. Not a wife. Not children.”
“But we will have them…”
“No,” he said. He came closer, putting his hands on her shoulders as he searched her gaze. “Is that why you sent for me before the ceremony, to ask if I might want children someday?”
She nodded tearfully.
He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Laura. I thought you understood. Though I can offer you marriage, nothing else has changed. I still cannot offer you love. Or more children.”
She blinked, staring up at him in shock. “No more…no more children?”
He shook his head.
“But why?” she cried.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders.
“You should know, before you marry me, why I will not change my mind.” His jaw clenched as he turned away from her. Outside the windows, rolling white fields were dotted with black, bare trees. “My parents and brother died when I was nineteen. Because of me.”
“I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to regain what you lost,” she said. “But it wasn’t your fault they died!”
“I was driving the car that killed them.” His black eyes were bleak. “My brother had just eloped with a waitress who’d had his baby while we were away at university. He’d been living with her for months, keeping it secret from our parents that he’d dropped out of school. I visited their flat in São Paulo, where they were living with their baby daughter, barely surviving on the wages he could make as a laborer. This from my brother—who should have been a doctor!”
Laura took a deep breath. “So that’s how you know how to play with a baby,” she whispered. “You’d spent time with your niece.”
He gave her a smile that broke her heart. “Yes,” he said in a low voice. “But when my brother decided to marry the woman, I was sure she was a gold digger. I dragged my parents to Sào Paulo to break up the wedding, and we convinced Guilherme to come back with us to Rio. I hated the thought of my brother giving up all his dreams, just because he’d accidentally gotten some woman pregnant.”
“Right,” Laura said over the lump in her throat. “A child doesn’t matter to you. Not like a career.”
His jaw clenched as he turned away. “It was raining that night,” he said in a low voice. “I was driving the car so my parents could convince my brother to see reason.” Gabriel gave a hard laugh. “But instead, Guilherme convinced them he needed to go back and marry Izadora. ‘Turn the car around,’ they told me. I looked into the rearview mirror to argue. I looked away from the road only for a second,” he whispered. “Just a single second.”
He stopped, his face grief-stricken.
Laura stared at him, feeling sick.
“I slammed on the brakes. I turned the wheel as hard as I could. But the tires kept sliding, right off the cliff. I heard my mother scream as the car rolled, then we hit the bottom. They all died instantly. But not me.” He looked at her bleakly. “I was lucky.”
“Oh, Gabriel,” she whispered, coming close to him.
She tried to put her arms around him, to offer comfort. But his body was stiff. He pulled away.
“I was wrong about Izadora. At my brother’s funeral she wouldn’t even look at me. I offered to buy her a house, set up a trust fund for my niece, but she refused with angry words. I’d taken her husband from her, taken the father of her child, and she told me she hoped I would rot in hell.”
Laura shuddered.
“She eventually married an American and moved to Miami. My niece is grown now.” He took a deep breath, and she saw that his eyes were wet. “She’s almost twenty, and I haven’t seen her since she was a baby.”
“You haven’t?” Laura said in shock. “But she’s your only family, your brother’s child!”
His jaw clenched. “How could I see her?” he demanded, turning on her. “Why should I be allowed to spend time with my niece, when it was my thoughtless action that caused her to lose her father? Her grandparents? They never got to see her grow up. Why should I?”
“But, Gabriel…it was an accident. You were trying to help your brother. We all make mistakes with the people we love. Your brother would forgive you. Your family loved you. They would know your heart. They’d know you never meant to—”
“I’m done talking about this,” he growled, raking his hair back with his hand. He set his jaw, and his dark eyes glittered. “You wanted to understand why I never want children. I’ve told you why.”
She closed her eyes, drew a deep breath. Tears streamed down her face as she opened her eyes.
“It’s too late,” she whispered.
“What do you mean?” he demanded. “Too late? What are you saying?”
She lifted her chin. “I’ve never had another lover, Gabriel. How could I, when I never stopped loving you? It’s always been you. Just you.”
He stared at her. His dark eyebrows came together like a storm cloud. “That’s impossible,” he said angrily. “Robby—”
“Don’t you understand?” She shook her head tearfully. “Robby is your son.”
The echo of her words hung in the air between them like a noxious cloud.
Gabriel stared at her, then staggered back.
“What?” he choked out.
“Robby is your—”
“I heard you,” he cried, putting his hands over his ears. But he couldn’t stop his
mind from repeating those words. Robby is your son. “You’re wrong. It’s impossible.”
“No,” Laura said quietly. “Didn’t you notice how he looks so much like you? That he was born exactly nine months after our night together? How could you not know? How could you not see?”
He shook his head. “But—but it can’t be,” he gasped. “I was careful. I used protection.”
She shook her head. “Condoms have been known to fail—”
“Only to people who use them incorrectly,” he muttered. “I do not.”
“But even then, three percent of the time they—” “No.” He held out his hand, blocking her words. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe, and loosened the tie on his tuxedo. “I can’t be his father. I can’t.”
Laura took a deep breath. She looked so beautiful in her white gown and veil. He’d never seen her look so innocent, so beautiful. So deceitful.
“I know this must come as a shock to you,” she said softly. She gave him a tremulous smile. “It was a shock for me, too. But Robby’s not an accident. He’s not a mistake.”
“Then what is he?” Gabriel demanded.
She looked up at him, her blue eyes luminous.
“A miracle,” she whispered.
Images of Robby’s chubby, smiling face went through his mind. His dark hair, his inquisitive dark eyes. Of course Robby was his son. Pacing, Gabriel raked his hair back with his hand. How could he have not seen it before?
Because he hadn’t wanted to see it, he thought grimly. Because having a child, when he’d killed his parents and prevented his brother from raising his, was the one thing he could not allow himself to do.
“I destroyed my own family,” he said in a low voice, staring blindly through the windows toward the wintry hills. “I don’t deserve another.”
Laura came slowly toward him, her beautiful face filled with tenderness and love, her eyes glowing with light.
“What happened that night was an accident. It wasn’t your fault. But you’ve buried yourself in the cemetery with them, not allowing yourself to be happy or loved, always punishing yourself—”
“Not punishment. Justice,” he said in a low voice, feeling as if his heart were being ripped out of his chest. “If I hadn’t tried to talk Guilherme out of having a family, if I hadn’t tried to talk him out of committing to his wife and baby, they would all be alive. Why should I enjoy the life I denied my own brother?”
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