A sound came from the other end of the room and Kaden turned. His mind was emptied of all thought. Julia was a vision in ivory edged with pale gold as she walked towards him, with Jasmine holding her dress behind her. Her face was obscured by a long veil, and his eyes dropped to where the swell of her belly told the story of why they were getting married.
Something so fierce and primal gripped him in that moment that he had to clench his jaw and fists to stop shaking with it as Julia came to a stop just inches away. She was looking down, and Kaden longed to tell everyone to leave so that he could pull back the veil and tip her face up to his.
Instead he reached for her hand and lifted it up, bringing it to his mouth. Her head lifted and he could see the shape of her face, the flash of grey eyes, as he kissed her palm. Her perfume was soft and delicate, winding around him like a silken tie, bringing with it evocative memories and whispers of the past.
In that moment he hated her for coming back into his life, for reawakening a part of himself that he’d thought buried for ever. The only part of him that had ever been vulnerable, and the only part of him that had believed a different future was possible for him. It hadn’t been.
With Julia’s hand still in his he turned to the officiator and said curtly, “Let’s get started.”
What felt like aeons later Julia was sitting beside Kaden at the massive dining table and her face felt as if it was frozen in a rictus grin. Her heart hurt. From the moment Kaden had said, “Let’s get started” earlier, he’d been curt to the point of dismissal.
She dreaded to think what the photographs would look like—Kaden tall and stern, and her like a rabbit in the headlights. Only a few of months ago she’d been independent and strong, living her life, and now she’d morphed into someone she barely recognised. All because of this man coming back into her life like a tornado.
A small voice mocked her: she’d been with him every step of the way.
Julia straightened her spine. She wasn’t going to let Kaden ignore her like this. She turned towards him, where he sat beside her. He was looking out over the sea of some five hundred guests with a brooding expression. She knew none of them except for his three youngest sisters, who had travelled from their schools and colleges for the weekend. Samia and her husband had been unable to attend, and Julia had felt a little relieved, not sure if she could take Samia’s hostility again.
“Kaden?”
He turned, and Julia sucked in a shocked breath when she saw the look of pure bleakness on his face. But in an instant it was gone, and replaced with something she thought she’d never see again. Heat. He took one of her hands and brought it to his mouth. His touch sent her pulse skyrocketing and a flood of heat between her legs.
She tried to pull her hand back, seriously confused, forgetting what she’d wanted to say in the first place. “Kaden …?”
“Yes, habiba?
She felt very shaky all of a sudden. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He arched a brow. “Is this not how a man is supposed to look at his wife?”
Feeling sickened, Julia wrenched her hand free from his. He was faking it. Of course. In front of his guests.
Julia muttered something about the bathroom and got up, barely noticing Kaden’s frowning look as she hurried away, head down.
Kaden watched Julia walk away, eyes glued to the graceful lines of her body in the stunning dress. The veil was long gone, and her hair was coiled at the nape of her neck. She was like a warmly glowing pearl against this backdrop. And for a moment, before she’d called him, he’d been drawn back into the memory of their time in the desert just before everything had changed.
He’d once dreamed of exactly this moment—having Julia by his side as his Queen, his heart full to bursting with pride and love … And then she’d called his name and he’d realised that it wasn’t like the dream. That dream had existed in the mind of a foolishly romantic young man who hadn’t known any better. This was reality, and reality was a long way from any dream.
Cursing himself, he could still feel desire like a tight coil in his body. A desire he’d curbed for too long. Kaden threw down his napkin and stood up. They’d had speeches and ceremonial toasts. Everyone now expected the Emir to take his leave with his wife. Striding out of the room, servants scurrying in his wake, Kaden felt his blood growing hotter by the second.
Julia had made her way out of the crowded room feeling stifled and extremely emotional. Jasmine had appeared as if from nowhere to guide her back to her rooms. She still didn’t even know her own way around the palace!
When Jasmine showed her into the suite it took a minute before she realised that the distinctively masculine furnishings weren’t familiar. She turned to Jasmine, who was waiting patiently for instructions.
“These aren’t my rooms.”
Jasmine inclined her head deferentially. “Sheikh Kaden told me to move your things in here. You will be sharing his rooms from now on.”
Julia’s heart fluttered in her chest. She wasn’t sure what Kaden was playing at, but she told Jasmine she wouldn’t need her further. When the girl had left, emotion started rising again, and blindly Julia made her way out to Kaden’s outdoor terrace. Much grander than her own.
It was dusk, and the call of an exotic bird pierced the air as Julia gripped the wall and looked out over Burquat. She could see people coming and going about their business far below, a line of blue which indicated the sea. She smelled the tang of salty air.
And all Julia could think of was how far Kaden was willing to go to make sure everyone believed he desired his wife, and how the immense crowd of guests had looked at her warily, with few smiles. An overwhelming feeling of aloneness washed over her. She put a hand to her bump and thought of her babies. They would be protected from this awful feeling of isolation. But she couldn’t help, for one weak and self—indulgent moment, feeling sorry for herself. And she couldn’t help the tears springing into her eyes and overflowing.
Kaden came into his rooms silently, and immediately saw Julia standing outside. The line of her back looked incredibly slim and tense, and the coil of her hair was shining in the dusky light. A curious feeling of peace mixed with desire rushed through his veins.
He moved forward and saw that Julia heard him. She tensed even more, and didn’t turn around. Irritation prickled over his skin. “Julia?”
Julia was frantically swallowing and trying to blink back tears, her cheeks stinging. The thought of Kaden witnessing her turmoil was too much, but she heard him come closer, and then his hands came onto her shoulders and he was turning her around.
She looked down in a desperate bid to hide, but he tipped her chin up. She looked at him almost defiantly through the sheen of tears. He frowned, eyes roving over her face. “You’re crying.”
Kaden was not prepared for the blow he felt to his solar plexus. Julia’s face was pale and blotchy, wet with tears. Eyes swimming, dark pools of grey. Her mouth trembling.
“It’s nothing,” she said huskily, lifting a hand to wipe at her cheek.
Kaden took her hand away and cupped her face. His chest felt so constricted he could hardly breathe. His thumbs wiped away the lingering tears.
“What is it?”
Julia bit her lip, clearly fighting for control. “It’s just all … a bit much. Finding out about my pregnancy, coming here … my life changing overnight.”
A solid mass of something dark settled into Kaden’s chest. Clearly this was not what she’d envisaged for herself. He felt the sting of guilt. He’d seduced her. And changed their lives.
“Julia … you will not want for anything ever again. You or our babies. You can be happy here.”
She gave a half-strangled laugh. “When your people look at me as if I’m about to do something scandalous?”
He grimaced. “They just need time, that’s all. There’s been so much change in Burquat … my divorce …”
Julia was finding it hard to breathe with Kaden so close and ho
lding her face. She couldn’t bear for him to see her desire on top of this. She tried to pull his hands down but they were immovable. She looked into his eyes. “Kaden … it’s OK. You don’t have to pretend here. No one is watching. And I don’t expect to share your rooms. I’ll go back to my own.”
“Pretend what?”
Julia avoided his gaze. “Pretend to … want me.”
Kaden frowned. Pretend to want her? Could she not feel how on fire he was for her? And then the notion that perhaps she didn’t want him sent something cold to his gut. He moved his hands and took her wrists. He could feel the hammering of her pulse. A sigh of relief went through him.
“Julia, look at me.”
With obvious reluctance she lifted her head. Her eyes were clear now, but no less troubled.
“What on earth made you think that I didn’t want you?”
Now she frowned, a flush coming into her cheeks. “That last night in B’harani … you were so quick to leave …” She stopped when she thought of his reaction to the necklace, and then said hurriedly, “Not that I wanted it to go on. I was happy for it to be over. But I just thought …”
“That I didn’t desire you any more?”
She nodded, and Kaden moved close to her again, lifting her hands and trapping them against his chest, where she would feel the thundering beat of his heart. Standing so close to her like this was exquisite torture. A deep contentment flowed through him that he wasn’t even aware of. He thought of the necklace then, of how seeing it had made him feel. But instead of dousing his desire, or making him want to flee, it actually made him feel even hotter.
Julia’s cheeks flushed even more when Kaden moved so close that his erection pressed against her lower belly. Sensation exploded behind his eyes, through his body, and he had to bite back a groan. He said throatily, “Does that feel like the response of a man who doesn’t desire you?”
He marvelled. How could she not know? He felt as if every time he looked at her she must see the extent of his hunger. She was so different from any other woman he’d known. He’d almost forgotten that a woman like her could exist, and had a fleeting image of how bleak his life would have been if he’d not met her again.
Julia’s eyes dropped to Kaden’s mouth. She was transfixed. Almost without realising what she was doing, she extricated her hand from his grip and reached up to trace the sensuous line of his lips.
Kaden’s hand went around the back of her neck, under the heavy fall of her hair, massaging the tender skin and muscles. His other hand was on her waist, big and possessive. Her breathing was already coming quickly, and she was telling herself to try and stay clear … but it was impossible.
Kaden dropped his head to hers. They were so close now that his breath feathered along her mouth. “I’ve never wanted another woman the way I want you.”
Julia looked into his eyes and saw the flame in their depths. She reached up and pressed her mouth to his softly, chastely. For a moment he did nothing, and then with an urgency that made her blood exult in her veins he brought her even closer and fused his mouth to hers, opening her up to him so that his tongue could explore and seek a deeper intimacy.
Julia’s hands and arms wound around Kaden’s neck, fingers tangling in the silky hair brushing his collar. She could feel the swell of her belly pressing into him, the stab of his erection against her, and something deeply feminine and primal burned within her. This was her man.
Perhaps their desire was the one pure, true thing between them? Perhaps they could build on this? Perhaps one day the fact that he’d rejected her once would fade away?
All of these thoughts and other incoherent ones raced through her head in time with her heart, but she just wanted to lose herself in the release only he could give.
He drew back and took in a deep, ragged breath, eyes looking wild. Julia’s mouth was burning.
“Wait … I want you so badly, Julia … But can we? I mean, is it safe?”
For a moment she didn’t understand what he was saying, and then she felt him place a hand to her belly. Something inside her melted even more. Blushing, because she was aware of the rampant need inside her, she said, “Dr Assan told me that it would be OK if we wanted to … you know …”
Kaden clamped her face in his hands and said, “Thank God.”
And then they were kissing again, and that helpless emotion was bubbling up within Julia. There was a desperation about their kiss, as if they’d been separated for years. As if something had broken open.
He broke the kiss only to lift her up into his arms and carry her into the dimly lit bedroom, with its huge king-size bed. Julia kept her eyes on Kaden, as if to look away might break the spell.
With a kind of reverence Kaden divested Julia of her jewellery and started to take off her clothes, undoing her dress at the back so that it fell open and then down to the floor in a pool of silk and satin at her feet, heavy under its own weight.
She stood in her underwear with her head tipped forward as Kaden took the pins out of her hair so that it tumbled around her shoulders. She could feel him open her bra, and shivered deliciously when his finger traced the line of her spine all the way down to her buttocks. Her breasts were heavy, nipples tight and tingling.
Gently he turned her to face him again, and pulled the open bra down her arms and off. She felt self-conscious for a moment, aware of her bigger breasts and her rounded belly. But under Kaden’s hot gaze all trepidation fled. He cupped her breasts, eyes dark and molten as he moved his thumbs over the taut peaks. They were more sensitive now, and Julia groaned softly. Her hands were shaking with need as she reached out to take off Kaden’s jacket and shirt. The buttons were elaborate and proved too much for her clumsy ministrations.
Kaden took her hands away and she watched, dry-mouthed, as bit by bit his glorious torso was revealed. Stepping close, she pressed a kiss to one flat nipple, tugging gently with her teeth and then smoothing it with her tongue. Kaden’s hand speared her hair, holding her head. Julia exulted in his rough breathing, in the way his chest filled to suck in more air.
Her hands had found his belt and buckle. Urgently she opened them and pushed his trousers and briefs down to the floor, freeing his impressive erection. Drawing back for a moment, she looked down, feeling dizzy with desire. She reached out a hand and touched him, stroking the hard length, feeling the decadent slide of silky skin over steel.
“Julia …”
Kaden sounded hoarse. Julia acted on pure instinct and bent her knees until she knelt before him on the floor. Still holding him, she took the tip of him into her mouth, tongue swirling around him. Fresh heat flooded through her at doing something so wanton, and she only dimly heard Kaden say harshly, “Stop … God, Julia, if you keep doing that I won’t—”
She felt Kaden gently pull her head away. She looked up, and the feral, almost fierce expression on his face reminded her of a wild and beautiful animal. He pulled her to her feet. “You don’t know what you do to me. I won’t last … and I want you too much. I need to be inside you. Now.”
Within what felt like seconds they were on Kaden’s bed, with not a stitch of clothing between them. Kaden’s hands smoothed down over Julia’s curves, her belly. She reached for him. “Kaden, I need you.”
His hand dipped between her legs, feeling for himself that she was ready, and if Julia hadn’t been so turned on she would have been embarrassed by the triumphant glitter in Kaden’s eyes.
He settled his lean hips between her legs, one hand on her thigh, pushing it wider, careful not to rest his weight on her belly. Julia arched her back, nipples scraping against his chest.
And then, just when she was about to plead and beg, she felt him slide into her, inch by delicious inch, filling her and stretching her. Eyes wide, she looked at him as he started to thrust, taking them higher and higher.
Time was transcended. All that existed was this blissful union. And Julia was borne aloft on a wave of ecstasy so overpowering that it seemed to go on for eve
r, her whole body pulsing and clenching for long seconds even after Kaden’s seed had spilled deep inside her. After a timeless moment he extricated himself and pulled her tight into his chest, arms wrapped around her. Julia wondered for one lucid moment before she fell asleep if this was a dream.
Kaden lay awake beside Julia. His heartbeat was still erratic, and a light sweat sheened his skin. Julia was curled into his chest, bottom tucked close into the cradle of his thighs. Already he was growing hard at the feel of her lush behind. Once again he was struck with the immutable truth that no other woman had this effect on him after making love. He felt all at once invincible, and yet more vulnerable than he’d ever felt.
One hand was on Julia’s belly, his fingers spread across the firm swell. He put the feelings welling up inside him down to knowing that she was pregnant—with his babies, his seed. Undoubtedly that was what had imbued their lovemaking with a heightened intensity.
But as Kaden finally let sleep claim him his overriding feeling wasn’t one of peace at being able to put the experience into a box. It was the same disconcerting one he’d had in B’harani, when he’d seen Julia wearing that necklace. He felt as if he was sliding down that slippery slope again, with nothing to hold onto, and there was a great black yawning abyss at the bottom, waiting to suck him down.
A few hours later, as dawn broke outside, Kaden woke sweating and clammy, his heart racing. He’d just had a vivid dream of nightmare proportions. He’d been surrounded by a crowd of faceless people and held back by hundreds of hands as he was forced to watch Julia make love to another man. He’d wanted to rip that man limb from limb. He felt nauseous even now, as it came back in lurid detail.
He looked to where Julia lay sleeping on her side on the other side of the bed and felt all at once like holding her close and running fast in the opposite direction.
Two weeks after that cataclysmic wedding night Julia was wondering if it had been a dream. It felt like a dream, because they hadn’t made love since then. Kaden had been cool the following morning at breakfast, while Julia had felt as if she’d survived an earthquake.
Desert Jewels & Rising Stars Page 353