"Yeah I'm not going back to the shop now, chuck them in my Jeep."
We arrived outside the women's refuge. It obviously wasn't advertised as that and from the outside it looked like a new development of apartments which in turn was a safe haven for many women from all walks of life.
"They won't let you in Connor so you're gonna have to wait here." Amy stated as I was about to open the door.
I didn't think anything of it when we pulled up outside but her comment made me contemplate just what some of these women must have been through, in order to be scared of a bloke just turning up unannounced.
"Not a problem Ames, I'll wait here."
Amy left the Jeep, leaving the bags of clothes as she made her way across the street. It had finally stopped raining and the sun was trying to come out through the clouds leaving a glistening effect over the field. As I looked through the window across the road at the park, I noticed two children playing happily on the climbing frame. On closer inspection, I could see that it was Devon and Tommy laughing and joking around on the apparatus and oblivious to their mothers tears.
"Spike!" Devon shouted as she climbed down the wooden steps and ran at speed, her tiny legs looked like they were on spring as she jumped into my arms. I swung her around and felt a warm feeling inside at the sound of her giggles.
I placed her gently on the ground, "Why don't you go and play with your brother for a minute while I speak to your mum." She nodded animatedly and took off skipping toward the apparatus.
I stalked towards Louise and could see her frantically trying to wipe her tears.
"How you doing babe?" I asked as I sat next to her, stretching my arms to rest them on the back of the wooden bench taking a casual stance.
Louise let out a loud sigh, "There's no room at the Inn!" She stated shaking her head. "They haven't got a bloody room until Saturday. What am I going to do until then?" she wiped her eyes again with a tissue that looked like it was about to disintegrate where it had been used so much.
I delved into my pocket to get a hanky that I carried around for such an emergency and passed it to her, "It's clean but don't go thinking you're special, just because I've shared my hanky."
She cracked a small smile which was my intension before wiping her tears.
"Why did you come here Louise, if they didn't have a room available?" I knew that you had to make contact in advance and that you couldn't just turn up unannounced.
"I was due to come here Saturday but I couldn't wait any longer," she explained in a small voice.
She sat quietly and I could see her internal struggle trying to think of a solution which meant that her children would be safe. This wasn't my issue to deal with but I was a sucker for a damsel in distress, especially a fit one.
"What about I pay for a hotel for you and the kids until Saturday?" That would help her out a little and stop her worrying. I even knew the bloke who ran the Bell Hotel so I'm sure he'd give me a discount.
She looked horrified and I couldn't understand her expression. Louise shook her head, "No way! I'm grateful but I couldn't possibly accept your offer."
Although a little pissed at her refusal, I totally understood, she was probably wondering why I was offering to help and what I wanted in return.
I nodded my head, "Any other suggestions?" I asked trying to think of a solution as I chewed the inside of my mouth pondering.
"She can stay at mine."
We turned to see Amy standing behind us with concern on her face.
"I've spoken to the refuge and they've apologised profusely but they really haven't got the room until this weekend. You and the kids can stay at mine and I'll move into Connor's for a couple of days."
"I can't ask you to do that!"
"You haven't asked Louise, I've offered. Please accept you really won't be putting me out."
Louise stood and paced around the playground, I could see her contemplating Amy's proposal and the internal struggle it was causing. What other options did she have?
"Connor will love having me stay with him."
Louise turned with a look of embarrassment, "Oh I didn't realise you were together." She stated with a slight blush to her cheeks. Her reaction intrigued me and I could see how she misconstrued our relationship.
"Fucking hell no! She's my baby cousin." I said roughing Amy's hair enthusiastically to try and hide the fact that I'd explained myself so quickly.
Amy smacked my arm away and tried to straighten out her hair with an unimpressed look, "Only by two years Connor, you make it sound like you're so much wiser and worldlier than me!"
I turned back to Louise who had now stopped pacing and was looking at me with an unreadable expression. I was usually good at reading people but Louise was very guarded which is something she probably had to do to survive.
"Spike can you push me?" Devon shouted from across the park pulling me from my thoughts.
I glanced over at Louise who was slowly nodding her head as she continued to observe me.
"Yeah coming poppet," I shouted back as I jogged over to Devon as she was mounting the swing. I waited for her to get comfortable, "Hold on tight." I pushed her higher and higher. She was giggling, clearly enjoying herself and the sound was like music to my ears. I remember only ever being this happy as a child when I was with Helen. She used to take me to the park because we could spend hours there enjoying each other's company and if the weather was good we sometimes took a picnic.
I was pulled from my thoughts again by the tugging of my cut. Glancing down I saw a sullen little face with big blue eyes that matched those of his mother and sister.
"What's up little man?" I asked moving out of the way of the swing to crouch down beside him.
He started to talk but it was so quiet I couldn't hear him, "You're gonna have to speak up Tommy."
"Can you push me on the swing too?" he asked fidgeting and twisting his hands together nervously.
"I certainly can little man, get on the swing." I held the seat still so that he could climb on easily and noticed the genuine smile the boy had which was the first I had seen. What could've possibly happened to such a small child to make him so fucking miserable? But I'm sure deep down that I already knew the answer to that question.
"Spike push me!" Devon shouted as her swing started to slow.
"Give me a fuck...minute!" Both children giggled at my slip of the tongue.
Shit! I'd have to remember to watch my mouth around the kids, they probably weren't used to any kind of swearing but realistically would I be seeing them again? The thought saddened me which surprised the shit out of me. There was something about Louise that intrigued me and I found that I wanted to get to know her better but she had enough going on without me complicating things. At least she would be around for the next couple of days if she was going to stay at Amy's and I planned on finding out more about her.
Louise
What have I just agreed too? I was now sitting in the back of an incredibly hot heavily tattooed hulk of a man's 4x4, being driven to his cousins house in which I was going to stay for a couple of nights until they had space for me at the refuge. Could my life get any more complicated?
I knew that there may have been a possibility that the refuge couldn't house me when I arrived but to be honest I was going to park up somewhere and sleep in the car with the kids, if that's what it came to as I'd do anything to not stay at home with Liam. This wasn't an ideal solution and I would've had to have found a remote place through fear of being caught out but it was a short term solution and something I was prepared to do.
After my car had caught fire I was shocked by the turn of events, as these bikers had helped to save my children and I didn't know how I would possibly repay them. They had obviously seen my bruises and my attempts to elude them were futile after my little outburst at the cafe but I felt trapped and anxious, my mouth just kicked in before my brain did.
I wasn't used to mixing with large groups of people as the only daily contact I
usually had was with the children's teachers, Liam and his horrible mother.
Shit what was the time? My tummy did summersaults thinking that it must be nearing the end of the school day and I knew when Liam was informed that I had taken the children out of school, he would start the process of looking for me.
Would he be able to find me easily? I had purposely left my phone behind so that we couldn't be traced. The only thing that was in my name was the car but now that it was a write off, would it be a problem? I had so many questions that I didn't know the answer to.
I decided that when we arrived at Amy's apartment, I'd ask if she knew the protocols and if I would have to contact the insurance company regarding my car or whether I could just forget about it.
I felt stupid, my life wasn't my life anymore. Liam had taken control over every aspect from such an early age that I hadn't had to make a decision in such a long time. He picked out my clothes, he told me how to have my hair, he even decided what I could eat but now that I was free of him, I didn't know what to do or even how to behave. I knew that I sounded weak but in my new life I was going to try and be brave as I needed to be strong for the children but I was finding it harder than I had ever imagined.
I had been bold to summon the courage to make the phone call to the refuge and finally leave him but I now doubted myself for leaving without a solid plan. My children's safety was the most important thing and I had to remind myself that my decision to leave the family home warranted all of this upheaval but here I was with no plan, very little money and feeling more vulnerable now than I ever did with Liam.
"Are you okay Louise?" Spike asked looking at me in the rear view mirror showing concern.
I tightly smiled as I took deep controlled breaths and nodded my head slightly. Gently wrapping my arms around the twins, I pulled them in for another hug. It was going to be okay, it had to be okay!
"It's not much but its home." Amy stated walking further into the living room with her arms held wide.
Her apartment was homely and decorated in warm autumn colours, I could smell cinnamon in the air and breathed in the scent as I followed Amy happily around the apartment. She showed me the bathroom and the two bedrooms and suggested that the children may want to sleep in the guest bedroom as the bed was bigger. Her kitchen was marvellous and a chef's dream with expensive equipment and gadgetry displayed which were clearly used to create such delights if the muffins on the work top were anything to go by.
"Please help yourself," Amy gestured to the Tupperware containing the treats.
I shook my head, "No thank you," but I smiled at her kind gesture.
"Can we have one?" Devon asked moving quickly into the kitchen closely followed by Tommy.
I glanced at Amy who nodded her head, as she opened the box and directed it in front of the children so they could select either a blueberry or chocolate muffin.
"Go and sit still and try not to get any crumbs on the floor," I barked after them as they skipped happily back into the living room tucking into their treats.
"Your apartment is beautiful Amy, are you sure about this?" I asked looking around at what she was offering.
"I'm sure, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't offer you a place to stay." She touched my arm and squeezed it lightly in a comforting gesture.
I couldn't believe my luck in finding such a wonderful woman who was prepared to help me and my children and acted like it really wasn't an issue.
"Please don't be offended but I will be taking my valuables out of here. I feel that I'm a fairly good judge of character and don't think you'll rip me off or become a squatter but I'm gonna do that to be on the safe side."
I nodded my head profusely, "No I totally understand Amy and I promise that I'll be out of your hair by Saturday."
Amy smiled but then I saw her frown as she thought of something, "It's none of my business and please tell me to fuck off but will you be getting a visit from your husband?"
"What's the time?" I asked panicked.
"Just gone 3.00pm," she stated looking confused as she furrowed her brows.
I backed up towards the kitchen work top placing my hand over my mouth, "He'll be finding out now that I've left and taken the children." My eyes watered, I couldn't control the tears as they flowed freely down my cheeks.
"Come here." Amy opened her arms wide and scooped me into her embrace as she allowed me to cry in the crook of her neck. Between sobs I noticed Spike come into the kitchen but he was turned away as Amy shooed him with her hand.
Eventually there were no more tears to cry but I felt vulnerable again. I'd opened myself up to this stranger, telling her things that could put me in serious danger.
Amy saw this vulnerability and placed her hands on my shoulders lightly, "Does he know where you are Louise?"
I shook my head, I had no ties to Essex so that's one of the reasons I thought it would be a good place to start a new life.
"Well then, you have nothing to worry about. The refuge will help you with housing and possibly a job when you're ready, and they can also help enrol the twins into a new school. This is the life you deserve Louise and I promise to be there to support you one hundred percent of the way."
I could feel my heart swell at her kind words, "Thank you Amy. What did I do to deserve running into you?" I said with a smile.
"Let's just call me your guardian angel," she stated between giggles as Amy linked arms and directed me into the living room.
"So do you like this one Spike?" Devon asked as she stood in a bright pink top and a pair of green leggings in the best model pose she could muster.
"I'm not into fashion Devon but I don't think those colours match." He glanced at me and winked, "I think your mum should take over now with the critique." He looked relieved.
"Mum look at my new clothes." She screeched excitedly.
"What's all this?" I asked looking into the bags seeing an array of different outfits.
"I hope you don't mind but I knew you lost your belongings in the fire so I sent one of the guys shopping. I can't guarantee that they'll all be appropriate but it's something to build on. We've also had a whip round for you." She said holding up a black bag full of clothes.
Tears pricked my eyes again.
"Mum it's a good thing, don't cry." Devon hugged my legs and her kind gesture was my undoing as the tears streamed down my face. I quickly delved into my pocket to get the hanky that Spike had given to me earlier to wipe my tears and noticed that he was still staring at me with darkened eyes, making me feel a little uncomfortable.
"Now, I am in the position to comment on that outfit," Spike said as a shy Tommy walked into the living room wearing a blue shirt and a pair of jeans. "Come here Tommy, let's sort your collar out a little." Tommy slowly walked over to Spike and turned around to give him free access. I watched the interaction between them and saw Spike's facial expression change as he adjusted Tommy's collar. He didn't say anything he simply glanced in my direction and quickly went back to the task at hand, but I noticed Spike grind his teeth and clearly try to hold in his temper.
"Right let's have a look at you." Putting on a smile he turned Tommy around, "You look very dapper little man." Tommy glanced at him confused by his statement before Devon grabbed his hand for another quick outfit change.
"Time's getting on, I'm gonna grab some things." Amy walked into the bedroom to pack a bag.
Being left alone with Spike put me on edge, I instinctively looked down at the floor not making eye contact with him. "I know what you're going to say but please don't, I carry enough guilt already." I twisted my hands together which was a nervous trait, one that had gotten me many beatings but I couldn't help it when I was anxious.
I could see Spike in my peripheral vision as he moved from the sofa to make his way across the living room towards me.
"How long has it been going on Louise?" He asked with such sincerity.
Should I tell him the truth? Would it matter if other people knew? I c
ould possibly be selective with the information I gave him omitting surnames and places, that way I couldn't be traced, could I?
I let out a loud sigh and didn't see his hand move until he gently placed his fingers under my chin to lift my head so I was facing him. My heart rate instantly accelerated but for some unknown reason I allowed him to touch me albeit briefly.
"Talk to me," he lowered his arm and took my hand gently, and I was surprised that I didn't recoil but I didn't feel threatened by him. Although he spoke tough and looked even tougher, I had seen a caring side to him when we were at the park and the way he interacted with the children piqued my curiosity. He gently guided me over to the sofa and I noticed that he moved further away to give me the space I needed as he waited for me to speak.
"I was fourteen when we started dating, he was attentive at first but over time he wore me down taking away the little dignity I had and turned me into a loner." I glanced over at him, I don't know why but the words continued to fall from my mouth. "The birth of the twins only intensified the beatings but I've taken as much as I can possibly handle. I've been planning to leave for a year, trying to save what little money I had so that we could survive but last night was the final straw."
He took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes, "Did he hurt Tommy?"
I simply nodded, I couldn't bring myself to say the words. "You must think I'm really weak." I said quietly.
I could see that he was composing himself, "On the contrary, I think you're brave for getting your children out when you did, there are plenty of women who would've stayed."
What was I doing? I'd met this man earlier on this afternoon and here I was spilling my heart out to him! If I wasn't careful I'd end up being someone else's doormat to be trodden on all over again.
We sat in silence and I was grateful that I had time to ponder what I'd just revealed to Spike. I hadn't prepared myself to answer questions about my relationship with Liam and I was still a little taken aback at how easy he had been able to withdraw information from me about my past. I glanced in his direction to see that he was leaning on the arm of the sofa resting his head on his hand casually but he was again observing me like he was trying to solve a problem in his own head.
Spike (Aces MC Series Book 3) Page 4