"I should go up and check on him," Remember said. She went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. Cyrus was in his chair. His prosthetic was on the floor beside him.
The stump of his leg was red and swollen. There were small bleeding sores he was covering with cream from a jar.
He looked up at her and she could see the shame on his face.
"I didn't think how uncomfortable it must be," she said softly.
"Only if I wear it for too long," he said. "It will be fine in an hour or so."
The realization that he had been in pain for days as he struggled to save the life of her cousins hit her with such force she thought her heart would break. She didn't think she had ever felt such admiration for a man.
"Did you need some tea?" she asked. She wanted to say so many things to him at the moment but she was afraid anything else she said would embarrass or shame him. He didn't want praise for taking care of his pack despite his missing leg. She'd seen the shame he felt about his injury and the guilt that plagued him. She supposed he felt losing a leg meant he couldn't care for his pack as well as a two-legged man. She was certain he was dead wrong but he wouldn't understand. He wouldn't see what she saw in him. She didn't see a damaged man but a hero who fought for others despite his own pain and suffering.
"I think I will just sleep for a few hours. Make sure to wake me if anyone needs me. Don't let my mother send them away," he said.
"I will," she said and she meant it. Until that moment she hadn't fully understood who her husband was. Now, she did and it made her heart fill with love.
Chapter 13
Cyrus was dressed in his Sunday best as they entered the church despite the fact it was Saturday and he wasn't a regular church congregant. The only time he set foot in a church was for weddings and funerals.
Reverend Goodman was standing at the pulpit. His looks could have had him at any age between thirty and fifty.
His hair was a yellow white blond that was just long enough to cover the points of his ears.
Ava's tiny coffin stood beside him.
Isaac and Sally sat in the front row of mourners along with Abigail and Noah. Fanny was sitting on her mother's lap.
She was looking at the coffin with anguish.
"Ava? Ava?" Fanny said again and again.
Abigail hugged the child to her with tears streaming down her face.
In the second pew Edgar, Rachel, and their children sat with Jeremiah.
Cyrus slipped into the third pew and sat down. Remember sat beside him and his mother sat past her.
Other members of the pack were there as were Aaron and Martha. Bethany, the witch who watched over Ava while her mother and father were at the moon sanctuary was weeping openly. A few non-supes had shown up at the church but Cyrus didn't know them terribly well aside from the shopkeeper.
The werebear clan was represented by Thunder and her daughters who sat near the back of the church.
"So many people," Remember whispered. He hoped she wasn't about to be seized by panic again. He put a hand over hers and she squeezed it.
"All are friends here to pay their respects to your family," he whispered.
"It is always a tragedy to lose a child," Reverend Goodman said. "There is nothing I can say which will lessen the grief you are all feeling. Little Ava should have had a long happy life ahead of her. She should have married and had children. Sadly, this life was taken from her. She is at peace now. Away from sickness and pain. Death cannot touch her again. Let us honor her short life by taking away the lesson that life is precious. None of us are promised a tomorrow. We must make the best of the time we have in this world. We must go on living lives fully to honor those who were not able to do the same."
Reverend Goodman opened the book before him. In places other than Barton the book might have been a Bible. There was a Bible the Reverend read from if the family was part of his usual congregation and might find comfort from it. For the witches, werebear, werewolves, and other supes he used a book of poetry instead.
"Death be not proud though some have called thee mighty and dreadful for though art not so," he began to read.
Cyrus had asked Reverend Goodman once why he so often chose that poem to read at a funeral.
"John Donne was a dear and personal friend of mine," Reverend Goodman told him. It was likely true. Reverend Goodman was a half-elf who'd committed himself to comforting the souls of the suffering during the bubonic plague. He'd been moving from congregation to congregation ever since.
After he read a few more poems about grief, mourning, and overcoming death Reverend Goodman signaled it was time to lay the little body to rest.
Isaac and Noah stepped forward and lifted up the coffin and led the mourners outside.
Abigail started to sob as the coffin was lowered into the ground. Fanny fought her mother's grasp as if she intended to throw herself in the grave with her sister.
Cyrus put his arm around Remember who leaned against him as she wept.
Once the coffin was placed Noah reached out and took Fanny from Abigail's arms and Isaac shoveled the first pile of dirt on the tiny coffin.
***
Remember felt drained as they followed the path back to the house. Her heart was breaking for her cousin's grief even as the words the Reverend said niggled at her.
Life was short and it was impossible to know how much time anyone had in it.
She'd felt like her life ended the night Jordan and his pack members attacked her. She hadn't thought she could ever recover from that and go on to lead the life a she-wolf should.
During the nights of the moon her wolf longed for Cyrus. She longed to join with him as a mated pair should. Once Remember was more herself and less her wolf the idea of going to bed with Cyrus terrified her.
She didn't know how she could lay under him and let him inside of her body when the only time anyone had touched her so intimately had been terrible and violent.
That didn't change the fact she wanted to make her marriage a real one. Cyrus was a truly wonderful man. He was nothing like Jordan. She trusted him. He deserved a pup of his own blood and a wife who could give him the pleasure a woman should.
She thought vaguely that one day she might join with him but, as the Reverend pointed out, life was short and it was impossible to say when it would end for either of them. If she waited until "one day" she might regret it. Cyrus deserved a life full of tender love as much as any man. In truth, he deserved it more than most.
She just didn't know if she could take the next step.
The thought of being beneath him brought up the feelings of panic. She fought against those feelings hating that they were a part of her now. Jordan had put those feelings in her just as surely as he had put the pup in her belly.
Cyrus must have seen her face pale.
"As soon as we are home we will get you some tea and put you to bed. Should I ask Martha to stop by?" he asked.
"No need to trouble Martha. The tea will be enough," she said.
"Are you sure? I need to check on a few patients but I don't want to leave you alone if you don't feel well," he said.
"Your mother will be with me," Remember reminded. "Besides, I think it is just the strain of the day. I am sure after some tea and a nap I will be fine."
She couldn't bring herself to think about going to his bed anymore. Life was short and she would go to her husband but not yet. Not until she was stronger. Not until the thought of him on top of her didn't fill her with terror.
Once they were home she took her tea and went to lie down in bed. She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep when the sound of her uncle's voice woke her.
"Is Cyrus in?" her uncle asked. His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying. Remember climbed out of bed and made her way to the top of the stairs.
"Malachi asked him to check on Bart. He's been having spells of dizziness again."
"When he gets back ask him to come to my house," he said. Remember hurried down the staircase.
Her uncle looked even older and grayer than he had at the funeral.
"What's happened?" Remember asked feeling her heart sink.
"We lost Fanny," he said.
"She was fine at the funeral." The funeral couldn't have been more than four or five hours before. The sun hadn't yet begun to set.
"Everyone came to the house after the funeral. Sally wanted to make a meal for them. Fanny was yawning and so Abigail laid her down for a nap. She was gone when Abigail went to wake her," her uncle said.
"If she's already gone how can Cyrus help?"
"I'd like him to examine her body and find out what caused the death. Abigail is beside herself with grief. I don't know if finding out what happened will ease her suffering but it is the one thing I can do for her," he said.
"I'll send Cyrus over as soon as he gets home," Tabitha said.
Her uncle left. Tabitha prepared supper. When Cyrus returned she gave him the sad news and, without stopping to eat, he hurried away.
After supper Remember laid down in bed hoping to sleep but her son seemed to be leaping and rolling around inside of her.
"You are just letting me know you are alive," she whispered rubbing a loving hand over the swell of her belly which had increased significantly.
She wasn't sure how long she lay in bed enjoying the movements of her child before she heard the front door open.
The sound of the cane on the steps told her that her husband was finally home.
He sat down on his chair in the dark as if afraid he might wake her from sleep.
"Were you able to give Abigail some peace?" Remember asked.
Cyrus undid the leather strap of his prosthetic leg and set it against his chair.
"It was the diphtheria. It weakened her heart," Cyrus said leaning forward and putting his face in his hands. Remember climbed out of bed and went to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"Was there anything that could have been done for her?" she whispered.
"Nothing that I know," he said. "Isaac asked that she be buried in the same grave as her sister. There won't be another funeral. He doesn't think Abigail could take it."
Remember wasn't sure she could either.
"There will be other patients in the morning. You will need your strength for them. You should come to bed," she said.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked pushing himself out of the chair and crossing the room to the bed.
"The baby has been keeping me awake. He's been dancing around all night," Remember said lying down beside her husband.
"Can I feel?" Cyrus asked.
She took his hand and placed it on her abdomen.
"He sure is a strong little thing," Cyrus said with a smile.
Remember was surprised how the touch of Cyrus's hand on her belly felt so natural. She was wearing a cotton nightgown which was thin enough she could feel the warmth of his hand through her clothes.
"He will need to be strong if he is going to grow up to be a doctor like his father," she said softly.
Chapter 14
Cyrus shivered as he stepped into his office and closed the door firmly behind him. Thanksgiving was only a week away and the weather was turning from autumn to winter swiftly. It would likely be a miserable winter. The cold made his leg ache.
He sighed and sat down at his desk until he heard the bell over the door announce his first patient.
"Good morning Mrs. Kwiatkowski," he said giving her a smile. She was a woman past the age of child bearing who had started to thicken up around the waist. She had a prominent double chin which was made worse by the thick collar of her silk red gown.
"Morning doctor," she said following him back to the exam room and sitting down.
"What can I do for you today?" he asked though he knew her history enough to have a pretty good idea of why she was there. When she began to remove her shoe his guess was confirmed.
"It's the gout again, doctor," she said removing her stocking and lifting up her leg to show him where her foot was indeed red and inflamed.
"I'll give you a prescription to take over to the druggist," he said.
He had counseled her before on changing her diet to include fewer meats and other foods which tended to make gout worse.
"Could you bring it over to the store? You know how my husband feels about the druggist," she said. Aaron carried many things in his drugstore that put him in competition with the General Store.
"I'll see what I can do," Cyrus promised.
"Thank you," she said putting her stocking back on. "Your little wife must be getting close to her time".
"We hope there will be a new baby by the New Year," he said.
"We got some new fabric in the store this week. You might mention it to the missus," Mrs. Kwiatkowski said.
"I'll do that," he said giving her a smile.
"You might also take a look at our catalogues when you come by to drop off the medicines. So many things being sold for babies these days. Who knew a baby could need so much?"
"I'll take a look," he promised. He'd planned on buying one or two items from the General Store for Christmas. He didn't tell her he'd already put in an order for several baby items with Aaron. Cyrus did try to buy from the General Store now and then to stay in the good graces of the Kwiatkowskis.
"I'll see you later then," she said giving him a smile.
There were three patients in the waiting room when he escorted Mrs. Kwiatkowski out.
Cyrus sighed. It was going to be a long day.
He didn't make it to the drugstore until it was time for him to close the office.
He locked the door and then followed the plank sidewalk across the street.
Aaron was reaching his hand into a jar of gum drops when Cyrus entered the store.
Aaron handed the gumdrops to a teenager Cyrus didn't know well and he handed Aaron a coin before scurrying off.
"Ready for rounds already?" Aaron asked.
"Almost, I need medicine made for Mrs. Kwiatkowski’s gout first," Cyrus said.
"I still can't understand why she refuses to come here. I have no problem with Martha shopping at the General Store if they have something that is out of stock here that we need," Aaron said.
"Hard to say," Cyrus said with a shrug. "I'll run it over to her. She wants me to look in her catalogues and buy a thing or two for the baby."
"Is there anything you haven't ordered for that child?" Martha asked with a teasing grin.
"It wasn't so much," Cyrus said even though they both knew he had gotten a bit carried away. He'd remembered what his wife had said about buying baby things if she won any prizes at the State Fair. She hadn't and after the attack of panic she'd suffered at the fair it wasn't something they'd spoken of since.
He hadn't mentioned that he had a bit of money stored at the bank. He was far from a rich man, but he could afford a few extravagances. There'd been so many enticing things in the catalogue Martha left him with. He talked to his mother about it and together they ordered what she thought the baby would need and then some.
"When your shipment arrives should we bring it to the house or store it for you until Christmas?" Aaron asked.
"It would be much easier if you could store it," Cyrus said. "I want to surprise Remember."
"How has she been?"
"Better. The fair was her last serious attack of panic. She has a nightmare that wakes her up now and again. There are occasional times when I smell her getting distraught but overall she has done well," Cyrus said. He was glad that she was feeling safe. He wanted her to feel safe in his home and with him.
"I'm glad the attacks have improved. I worry about the health of the baby with so much anxiety in the mother," Martha said.
"He seems to be thriving. He is very active," Cyrus said with a smile recalling the times Remember allowed him to feel the child kicking.
"That is a good sign, indeed," Martha said. She opened her mouth to say more but the door flew open silencing her.
; Noah looked like a wild man. Cyrus could smell his wolf very near to the surface. Noah wanted to fight. He wanted to kill.
"What did you give her?" he screamed.
"Give who?"
"What did you give Abigail?"
"I haven't given her anything," Cyrus said.
"Not you. The witches," Noah growled.
"Nothing. I haven't seen your wife since the funeral," Martha said.
"She's dead. Whatever you gave her killed her. She is the daughter of the alpha. You'll pay for this. I'll make you pay-" Noah leapt at Martha but Aaron reached out and caught him by the collar. A moment later Noah was in his wolf form snarling and snapping.
Martha pulled her wand out seemingly from nowhere and aimed the wand at the wolf. Noah's wolf turned on her growling.
Cyrus let his wolf loose and jumped between the two of them.
"Out of my way!" Noah howled.
"If any wrong doing happened it is for the alpha to decide," Cyrus said.
"She was my wife!"
"These are our allies! Would you make war with the witches without permission from your alpha?"
"They deserve to pay for what they've done!" Noah howled.
Cyrus saw Martha give a nod to Aaron who slipped out the front door. Noah didn't seem to notice.
"Noah, I'm sorry for your grief. I know you've lost a lot. It doesn't excuse such behavior but I'll forgive it when you come to your senses," Martha said.
This caused Noah to growl. He tried to lunge forward but Cyrus grabbed him by the scruff. Noah howled and tried to snap at Cyrus. One strong jerk of his head knocked Cyrus off balance and he fell to the ground. He kicked his back paw trying to trip Noah. It stalled him only for a second. Noah was glaring at Martha and moving towards her with murder in his eyes.
Cyrus struggled to push himself off the ground. It took him longer than it would have if he still had four legs but, as Noah lunged at Martha, Cyrus was able to meet him midair and knock him to the side. They were both on the floor. Growling. Biting. Noah was trying to get up and Cyrus was trying to keep him on the floor. Martha had her wand aimed at both of them.
The Alpha's Niece (Barton Pack Book 1) Page 10