by Tarisa Marie
"I'm sorry," I say apologizing genuinely.
"No, you're totally right. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," she amends.
"What did you hear on the news?" I ask her, changing the subject, and reach for my remote.
"Nothing really. They don't seem to know anything yet. Hey, let me bring a pizza over okay? I'll be over in half an hour," she promises and hangs up the phone.
I think about protesting but she's right. I'm starving and could really use a friend right now. I remember what my dad told me when my mom died. Ari, it is okay to cry. Sometimes. But only for a little while. While it’s safe to. I cry.
It isn’t long before there is a knock on my front door. Only it’s not Mindy. It’s Jacob Whiler, my father’s best friend and basically my second father. Jacob also works for the fire department. My heart feels like it drops to my stomach. Is he here to tell me that my father is dead?
“Good morning, Ariella. Glad to see you’re okay,” he greets me with a half-hearted smile. “Sorry to bother you at such an early hour but I didn’t think you’d be sleeping after all that...er…craziness last night.” He eyes my pajamas apologetically.
“Hey, Jacob. I was actually already up. My friend is bringing over pizza. Come in,” I motion with my finger and swing the door open wider, dressing my face with the best smile I can.
He takes a step inside.
“Oh, good, I'm glad I didn't wake you. Is your father in bed? I’d like to have quick word with him if he’s awake. If not, I’ll have to catch him later.”
“Uh…no…he never came home last night,” I inform him sadly.
Jake’s eyebrows merge in confusion. “His truck is in the yard.”
“I drove it home last night," I tell him as anxiety begins to build up inside me.
He nods in understanding.
“When was the last time you seen him?” I ask him hopefully. I hope he knows more than I do.
“I’m not sure. I was so busy running around trying to help that I can’t say for sure. There were so many people and firefighters and paramedics and Christ,” he mumbles almost to himself, his eyes glazing over as he goes back to last night. “I saw him talking to you early on when everything was super nuts and then I can’t say for sure if I saw him again.”
My fears that he was in the building when the explosion happened, resurface.
“He told me he was going in to see if he could pull out any bodies from around the doorway. I never seen him actually go in but not long after that…” I trail off choking up a bit.
“The bomb exploded,” he finishes with a nod and I can tell that he too is worried about my father’s safety.
“What?” I exclaim. “Bomb?”
“Yes, it was no accidental fire. We have reason to believe that gasoline or a highly flammable substance like it, likely one without much of a smell, was thrown on the walls and even ceiling of the building. We also believe that the explosion was the result of a bomb going off inside the building. Maybe as a last resort to kill any remaining people inside. The fire spread too quickly to have been started by a faulty wire or even a lighter. We’re sure that it was a targeted attack.”
I gape. Who would try and kill 800 kids?
“Did you see anyone rush outside shortly before the fire started?” he continues.
I think about it. “No, sorry.”
“Quite alright. We don’t even know if someone started it from inside of the building or if they did it from outside of the building. We’ll know more once the wreckage cools down and the police can check things out. I got sent home to get some rest. I assumed your father had too when I couldn’t find him this morning. I just wanted to ask him what he thought about it. He always has the best theories. I’ll try calling him later I suppose,” he reassures me and steps outside. Isn’t he worried that my father might be dead? He sure doesn’t show it.
“Alright, if you see him or get ahold of him by phone, will you let me know?” I plead.
“Of course.”
“Thanks. See you, Jacob,” I say my goodbyes before hugging him and then I begin closing the door.
“Ariella?” he asks softly with a small smile.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t worry about your dad. He’s the toughest man I know.”
I nod and continue to shut the door.
“And Ariella, it’s okay to be sad. You’re not a soldier, you’re a teenage girl. Holding it in will only make it worse in the end. That’s where your dad is wrong about staying strong. If you hold it in, one day, you’ll just snap. Then it’ll be almost impossible to make the pain go away,” Jacob suggests with understanding stretched across his face. He’s known my dad since high school and so he knows he’s a hard ass when it comes to showing emotion.
“Thanks,” I say in a vague thanks and close the door. Jacob is practically family. He’s at our house all the time. He’s even helped me train on many occasions. He joins us for dinner at least twice a week and helps us celebrate every holiday. He may as well be my second dad.
Nearly right after I shut the door, it swings open and in walks Mindy, pizza in hand.
After Mindy arrives, we call the hospital to see if we can get anything out of them. The lady I talk to sounds annoyed. Which really isn’t unexpected. I mean, the hospital has probably been getting calls like mine all morning so I don’t blame the lady for being a tad snappy.
By the time I get off the phone with her I have come to the conclusion that I may as well head down there in person, maybe then I’ll get a straight answer.
Mindy jumps into the passenger seat with the pizza, seeing as we have yet to touch it.
“Alright, where are we going?” she asks.
“The hospital,” I inform her, determined.
“Ah, makes sense. St. Marie? By the school?” she asks, while opening the pizza box and shoving a slice into her mouth.
“Yep, I figure that’s where they would’ve taken dad and Nathan since it’s the closest.”
“Probably. Unless it was full of a million other students. Not all of them could possibly go to one hospital,” Mindy points out. She has a good point.
“Let’s start at St. Marie.”
After a short car ride and half a pizza, we are walking through the hospital doors. It’s packed. We have to push our way through people as if we’re at a concert or something.
“Jesus," Mindy grumbles.
“No kidding. Let’s just get to that nursing station up there.” I shout at her over the chatting crowd. I was expecting a few friends and family but not the entire student body plus their parents, teachers, grandparents, and probably first cousins. Like holy shit.
Once we finally make it to the nursing station, I pull out my phone and bring up a picture of my dad.
“Do you know if this man is in the hospital? He’s my father. His name is Theenis Malgrovech,” I ask her, using my father’s full name.
She looks at me and then to the picture. She sighs.
“One moment.” She says sounding exhausted.
She types something into her computer and I watch as her eyes widen the slightest bit.
“What?” I ask.
“Ma’am, please come with me,” she instructs after a moment. She leads Mindy and me down the hall to a part of the hospital that is not nearly as busy.
“Is Theenis your father also?” she asks Mindy.
“No, I’m just Ariella’s friend.”
“I’ll have to ask you to go sit over there and wait then. I’m sorry, dear,” she says earnestly to Mindy who nods and goes to sit at a row of chairs a little ways down the hall.
“Ariella, is it?” the lady asks.
“Yes.”
“Okay, well first of all you must understand that your father didn’t have any next of kin contact numbers on his account,” she says quickly. “We figured he hadn’t any family or we would’ve called. He was brought in very early this morning not breathing. We tried to help him but there wasn’t much we could do. He’s no longer with us, but
he died a hero, Ariella. The paramedics that brought him in said he ran into a burning building and saved at least three student's lives before there was an explosion which they assume was what took him.” The elderly lady’s soft blue eyes are warm and caring. “I’m so very sorry for your loss.” She pauses as if debating whether or not to say what she says next. “We would like someone to identify the body, if at all possible. It doesn’t have to be you, it can be any family member or even a good friend.”
“I’ll do it. He doesn’t have any other family,” I tell her reluctantly.
“How old are you Ariella?” she asks.
“I turned 18 yesterday,” I tell her as panic makes my heart flutter. What will I do now? My father is all I have. Had.
“Perfect. Come with me.”
She leads me further down the hall to a different desk, asks me few more questions and has me sign some stuff before she brings me into the morgue. I’m ready to burst into sobs at any given moment and have to struggle to keep the tears back. My father is dead. Oh my god dad is dead. He’s gone. Oh my god.
I know I should be hyperventilating and letting the sobs inside me escape, abnormal control over emotions or not, but I’m in shock. Coming here, I knew that there was a strong possibility that this is what I would find but I still didn’t come here prepared. I don't think that it's possible to be prepared for something like this.
“Are you sure about this?” she asks as we step inside the chilly room.
“Yes,” I say blankly and follow her to a wall full of small metal doors.
She looks at a clipboard on the wall and then opens one of the doors and pulls the drawer outwards.
I swallow hard.
The lady glances up at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, please proceed.” Truth is, I’m not. For the first time in a long time, I’m not okay. There is no shoving this moment behind some wall. This moment will stay with me forever.
She then unzips the bag and although its contents are unbelievably burnt, it’s not hard to tell that yes, my father is in fact this man. I burst into tears as all the emotion from the last 24 hours gets let loose.
Once I’ve pulled myself together a little, I escape the morgue and find Mindy playing some game on her phone right where we left her.
“Let’s go,” I beg her.
“Ariella? Are you okay?” she asks seeing my tear streaked face and shoving her phone away.
“He’s dead,” I muster, shaking my head as if in disbelief. The pain I feel is unbelievable.
“Oh, Ariella, god, I’m so sorry,” she sympathizes, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as her own eyes fill with tears.
Mindy drives home as I sob in the passenger seat.
When I get home, I call Jacob and let him know about my father’s death through sobs. He has to have me repeat what I've said four times before he understands my words.
“Ariella, if the body was burnt, how do you know it was him for sure?” he asks finally, after a long silence.
“I just know, Jacob. It was quite obviously him. I know my father. I know what he looks like.”
“Okay, I’m so sorry Ariella. Your father was a good man. Do you need any help planning the funeral?” he asks. Do we have to discuss this now? I mean I only just found out about his death!
“I…I don’t know. I was thinking maybe we could just do it graveside. Like just some of his colleagues and myself. I don’t know who else I would even call. I think that basically sums it up. I don’t really know where to start though, like who do I even call to dig the hole? How do I even pay for a headstone? Where do you order one? I have like thirty-two dollars,” I rant nearly going into panic mode again.
“Your father, I’m sure, had life insurance. He also wasn’t a poor guy. You’ll likely inherit the house and his money and everything. It’ll be fine. Would you like me to come stay with you for a few days while we get all this worked out? I can help you get it all figured out and take a few days off of work,” he offers.
I think about it and decide that even though I just want to be alone right now, I have no idea what I’m doing. “Yes, if you could, I mean I don’t want to be a hassle.”
“You’re not, I’ll be over in an hour,” Jacob says before I hang up the phone.
Mindy leaves when I tell her that I just need some alone time. I do, I need time to think and sort through my thoughts. After she’s gone, I head downstairs to my father and my training room to blow off some steam.
I set up one of our punching bags and begin beating on it as if it’s the fire that killed my father. If the fire was in fact started on purpose, if there was in fact a bomb, I will kill whoever set it up.
I’m so into beating the punching bag that I don’t hear my phone ringing in my bra until the fourth ring. I whip it out, sweating like something else and put the speaker to my ear.
“Hello?” I say breathlessly.
“Ariella? Oh thank god you’re okay!” a male voice says on the other end.
“Who is this…?” I ask confused.
“Nathan, Nathan Walters. I just er…got out of the hospital.”
After getting the news about my father, I somehow forgot about Nathan. “I’m so glad you’re okay!” I tell him through gasps.
“Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know if I am. Can I come over?” he asks nearly begging.
“Uh…er…it’s not really a good time.” I admit.
“Please, it’s important, Ariella,” he tries again.
“I just found out my father passed away last night,” I blurt.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. I watched it happen, I watched your father die and you’re never going to believe this,” he says in a strange tone that I can’t place.
“What!? You knew? Why didn’t you call me?! I’d have rather heard it from you than the hospital employee who told me!” I demand, my heart races, this time not from my workout.
“Because I couldn’t. I was knocked out from the painkillers they gave me. The fire didn’t kill him. He was murdered, Ariella.”
“What?!” I shout. “No, I saw his body, it was burned. Who would want to kill my father? My dad doesn’t…didn’t have any enemies.”
“I’m coming over,” he says, not asking, telling me. “There’s stuff that you don’t know about, that you need to.” Then he hangs up the phone before I can demand any more answers.
Chapter 4
I wait by the front door for Nathan to arrive and as soon as there’s a knock on the door I swing it open like a crazy woman. Only, it’s not Nathan standing on my porch, it’s a black-haired, tan-skinned man, with a five o’clock shadow. I figure that the man is about my age of eighteen, maybe a little older but no older than twenty-five. I’ve never seen him before in my life and have no idea why he’s at my house, standing in my porch. I gawk at him for a moment, shocked by his beauty and then quickly shake off my stares. God, Ariella, your dad just died and you’re checking out strangers?
“Hello…” I greet him, sad that it’s not Nathan.
“Uh…hello. Is Theenis here?” The boy asks in an accent that I can’t place. British, maybe? Or is it Australian? Irish? I don’t have a clue. I’m terrible with accents.
“No…uh he’s not actually. Who are you?” I wonder out loud.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he stares at me and then a creepy smile lights up his face. Awkward. I begin to close the door, not sure if I should be scared, annoyed, or creeped out. Who the heck is this guy? Some kind of solicitor?
Right as I’m about to shut the door, his hand flashes up and stops it from latching.
“Are you a solicitor? Are you going to try and sell me a vacuum?...Security system?...Something? Whatever it is you’re selling, I don’t want it,” I say angrily and begin to close the door again. I’m so not in the mood for this.
“Do I know you?” he asks pushing the door open again. “You look familiar.”
“Uh… no? You showed up on my doorstep, looking fo
r my father, shouldn’t you know if you know me?” I answer him confused.
He shrugs almost nonchalantly but I see his eyes widen a bit when I say ‘my father’. Probably surprised that my father looks so young yet has a full grown daughter. I’m so used to that look that it’s not even funny anymore.
“I’ll come back later. I’m not selling anything. I’m just a friend of your dads,” he says strangely as if he still can’t fathom my dad has a daughter.
“How come I’ve never seen you before then?” I quiz him. If he’s truly a friend of my father’s shouldn’t he know that my father has a daughter? I mean, come on. Shouldn’t I have at least seen this guy before?
He doesn’t answer. He just continues to stare creepily at me and I cringe.
“Ariella?” a new voice says. It’s Nathan. He’s running across the yard as if there’s some kind of emergency, hands flying in the air as if there’s a zombie apocalypse and he’s running from a whole herd of them. Okay. I’ve had enough excitement for the rest of my life.
“Get away from her!” Nathan calls to the man on my doorstep.
Wow, one date and he’s already possessive. Nathan reaches up to the boy and pushes him into the wall of the house.
“What the hell, Nathan?” I scold.
“This is the guy that killed your father!” Nathan cries, but before I can respond, the stranger flips Nathan around and throws him onto his back.
Nathan makes an oof sound.
“Don’t touch me, you'lol get your ass handed to you,” the solicitor man says smoothly as Nathan groans in pain.
Holy shit, apparently I’m not the only one here who can throw someone on their ass. This observation makes fear spike in my chest. If this man wants to hurt me, it’s possible that he might be able to. I’m not used to feeling physically weak.
“Nathan? Are you okay?” I ask him and scowl at the idiot on my porch.
“This guy is looking for my father. Why would he kill him and then go looking for him?” I question Nathan as if he’s stupid. If my father was murdered it could have maybe been by a guy that looked a little like this guy but let’s be real, why would my father’s murderer show up at my house after he killed him, to talk to him? It doesn’t make sense.