by Tarisa Marie
“The good things that come with being good, outweigh the bad,” he debates.
“Good things? Like what?” I wonder seriously.
“Like love,” he chimes.
“I nearly loved once, it only ended in pain,” I state matter of factly.
“But didn’t the good parts make up for the bad?”
I think back to that time. The time that feels so long ago, although it was only just over a month ago. I remember the feelings of absolute joy that I felt, and then the pain that came afterward. My heart feels full at the memory. For an instant, I feel like crying but then I let what D calls the darkness reinvade me.
“Doesn’t it? Ariella, feel. Remember,” he begs and then runs his hand across the back of his neck.
“You can really say that this isn’t worth it?” When I don’t reply right away, he leaps towards me and I wonder if he’s going to attack me. I move to push him off of me, but it’s too late. His lips meld to mine. The first thing I feel is surprise, but then I begin to feel something else. Need? That then turns into an emotion that I haven’t felt in so long that I can hardly recognize or remember its bliss...love.
My knees quiver but he holds me upright. A moan escapes my lips before I can stop it, and I find myself clinging to him with everything I have. Emotions fly in my head that I thought were long gone from me. I feel him smile as we kiss and it makes my heart shutter with happiness. Suddenly a face fills my mind and an anxiety that I don’t understand causes me confusion and fright. My father, Jacob, where are they? Are they alright?
“My dad!” I gasp and pull away. “Where is my dad?”
When I look at him next, he is smiling so wickedly that I wonder whether or not he’s sane.
“Marco is looking for him. I’d have heard if he found him, so I assume he and Jacob are fine. I mean all things considered,” he rambles quickly. “I thought I lost you to the darkness for good, Ariella, god damnit.”
“I don’t know what happened exactly,” I confess. “How did you do that? Pull me back, I mean.”
“I made you feel. Sometimes, if you have enough will power and light in you, you can be pulled back from the darkness by someone you care deeply for. I thought I scared you away that night in the alley, but apparently you still care for me, at least a little.”
Confused, I stare at him like he has three heads. Then I remember. He’s a vampire. The realization hits me almost as hard as the first time that I found this out, but my time in headquarters has taught me not to fear fear. I now welcome it. I can deal with it much better. That doesn’t mean that I’m not a little scared of him but I’m not completely terrified of him like I was that day in the alley. I’m angrier that he didn’t tell me sooner than I am about him being a creature of darkness. After all, I am also supposedly part vampire. Can I really be so hypocritical? This man just saved me from Marco’s grasp. Somehow I must’ve flipped a switch in my mind when I killed that girl. Oh god. I killed someone. I killed more than one someone.
D seems to take in the array of expressions that cross my face in the small moment that I take all of this in. When my expression stops at pain he grabs me into a hug.
“Don’t let the pain lead you into the darkness again, Ariella,” he warns. “You scared me to death.”
“I’m sorry. Oh my god, I tried to kill you!” I wail into his shoulder.
He pulls back carefully and stares into my eyes. “You didn’t tell your father about me,” he says more like a question than a statement. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” I muster seriously.
“Are you scared of me?” he asks cautiously, swallowing hard. He looks terrified.
“Yes, a little. Not as much I was. I just...I don’t understand,” I admit honestly.
He nods in acceptance. “You don’t have to be scared of me but I understand why you are."
"I want to...I want to get to know you. This part of you. The full you. I want to learn about this part of you because I can't seem to make myself believe that you're this terrible creature. Especially after what I've done. I can't say that I'm any better than you. I can't be a hypocrite and walk away from you because you're part vampire because I am part vampire and I don't think that you should hide this from my father or Jacob any longer. They've accepted me for what I am, I'm sure they can accept you for what you are." I voice my opinion, and place my hand over his on the wall to reassure him. He looks up to the ceiling and closes his. A deep sigh escapes him.
"Ariella, you have no idea how relieving that is to hear. The last month, I've been torturing myself thinking that you would never give me another chance. I thought I lost you for good."
"You're being cheesy." I giggle. It feels good to laugh again.
"It's not cheesy if it's true." He smiles and his eyes meet mine. I shiver under his gaze.
"Yes, it is," I argue.
He scowls at me, wraps his arms around my waist, and lifts me up off of the ground with little effort. He swings me around in a circle and then pins my back against the wall with his lips.
"God, I've missed you," he mumbles through kisses. We stay like this for a while until we both realize that there are more important things we need to be doing.
"How are we getting out of here?" I ask first of all.
"We're just going to walk out and pretend we're going off on a training session. I've been assigned to train you further with your magic. Speaking of which, who taught you to wield magic like you do. That was entertaining."
"I taught myself mainly. It just happened. That's how I accidentally killed that first girl. I mean I've been practicing on the side to do smaller spells and control it all but no one taught me how to throw that much power around," I explain, although I don't really understand it myself.
"I wonder if using that much power is what tilted your scale to darkness or if the uh, accident did," he hesitates over the word, almost winces.
"I'm not sure." This is truthful because I really don't know.
"Well, if you slip into it again, I guess I'll just have to kiss you again," he dares me.
I give him a look of disdain. Although I'm incredibly happy to be able to feel again, my mind is in agonizing pain as it tries to wrap around everything. First of all, I'm terrified. Second, I killed people. Third, I could slip back into the darkness at any time. Fourth, I need to get the hell out of here and soon before Marco manages to suck me back in.
"Do you think you can manage to fake the darkness long enough for us to get out?" he asks.
I nod. I have to. I don't have a choice.
"Someone is coming up to the front door," he states. "Probably Marco coming to make sure you're comfortable."
Just as he finishes speaking, there is a knock on the door. I take a deep breath, try not to shake, put my expression of blandness together, and open the door.
"Hello, Ariella. Oh, and Daymon." He bows slightly and offers a smile, which is obviously fake.
"Marco." D and I nod in sync.
"I see you two are making amends," he observes curiously.
"We're on the same side, of course," I mumble and pretend to be unbothered by the conversation so far.
"Of course." Marco smiles again.
"I came over to welcome her to the penthouses. I thought maybe I could take her out on her first excursion out of the headquarters for some training," D sighs, sounding bored, while pretending to find interest in his thumb.
"What kind of training?" Marco pushes.
"I was thinking a little combat and a little magic. Thought maybe we would knock out some white witches and get her practiced up for the battle we all know is coming. She also needs to work on control and what better way to do this than to put her in front of her enemy," D explains calmly, without a slip in composure. He's good at this. Then I remember that he's done this far longer than I have so of course he is.
"Would you be okay with this?" Marco asks me directly.
"Of course. I think it would benefit the cause. Plus, I think i
t's about time that I start dinging off some white witches instead of the trainers you give me to fight." I murmur slyly. I have to force myself to look away because tears begin to fill my eyes. I blink them away and pretend that I'm looking at D while I do this. "Don't you guys agree?"
"I do. I think it's time you went got some real experience in the field and who better to take you than our strongest warrior," Marco nods at D. I plaster a look of jealousy on my face when I look at Marco again and he chuckles.
"Your day will come, little one. You've only just begun training," he assures me and then turns to leave my house.
"You may leave when you're ready. Don't forget to check in with me every week. Don't be gone too long. I think Ariella could benefit from some training at headquarters as well. Remember, we have certain ingredients for spells here that are not easily found and she will need to start practicing with ingredients soon," Marco puts on the table, before shutting the door behind him.
I sigh with relief once he's gone.
"That was easy." Almost too easy I think to myself but remember what D told me once. Marco isn't very bright.
"Well let's go," D encourages, and reaches for the door knob.
"Right now?" I ask surprised, I wasn't expecting to leave so soon.
"Do you want to stay here longer?" he asks confused.
I shake my head back and forth rapidly. Definitely not.
We walk casually out to the front gates, where a guard looks at our badges and then waves us through the gate. Just like that, we're free. At least I think we are, until we walk into some invisible wall and are forced a few feet backwards.
"Unfortunately friends, I cannot let you leave without placing some insurance first. You've both fled from me before. This is to be sure it doesn't happen again. For you Daymon, you will be cursed with a thirst that will be nearly unmanageable until your return, a thirst far worse than the worst thirst you’ve ever experienced and it will not fade, if you decide not to return, I assure you. The only thing that will stop it is your returning to me. Ariella, because I adore you so much, you will be cursed with an expiry spell. If you don't return here within 21 days, your mind will begin to deteriorate irreversibly," Marco claims from behind us and I want to sob. I knew it was too easy.
Chapter 22
I feel like hurling. D grunts beside me and I glance to him in shock. He's on the ground on his hands and knees. I rush over to him and try to help him up but he pushes me away.
"Are you okay?" I ask while grabbing his arm.
"No, nowhere near," he grunts and then a warmth fills my body and my surroundings change to a familiar place. Our home in Taverd.
"Why are we here?" I ask, confused. "Because I know this is the last place your father would be right now and he can't see me like this. He'll kill me for sure if he seems me on the ground writhing in pain from thirst like this."
Reality sets in and I realize what's happening to him.
"What can I do?" I offer in a rush
"It's going to take me a couple days to get used to the pain enough that I can manage it. You need to get me something to eat before I lose it and devour the neighborhood," he directs sternly. "Like, I need to drink something now or I'm going to lose it. The smell of your blood is making me lose it." He writhes and squeezes a table leg in his fist. It cracks and splinters.
"Get you what to eat? Did he not think this through, that you might eat me?!" I scream on the edge of being terrified.
"How many times do I have to tell you that the guy doesn't think? He's stupid, Ariella. Powerful as hell, but stupid-" He's cut off by a moan of agony wracking his body. I glance over to him and see that his eyes are a burning red color and his mouth is open as if he's gasping for air and can't get any. His incisors have extended nearly an inch and that alone is enough to chill me to the bone. "Run, Ariella. Get out of here. Get as far from here as you can. You can't be here when I lose it. I could hurt you," he warns.
I debate staying, but know that I'm not going to be any help if I’m hurt or worse. I spring from where I’m standing, and run from the house. I run all the way to his chunk of land and sit in the clearing. I have a feeling that he’ll know exactly where to find me once he’s in control. Then what? What the hell are we going to do? How many people is he going to hurt? Kill? Can I really do this? I told him I’d try, but suddenly I’m not so sure.
I begin digging through the stuff that we left here last time, when we left in such a rush. I’m hungry. It looks like the wind has taken a lot of it and the blanket we were laying on is now soaked from rain. I finally find a granola bar and I break it open.
It tastes so good. I haven’t had real food in so long. At headquarters, all I was fed was crap that tasted even worse than hospital food. I peel open an unopened storage container and find a few more snacks, before remembering that the last time we were here, D left the car here. I sprint from the clearing to where it was parked. I find it hard to believe that he would have left his baby here for all these weeks, but here it is. I jump in and start the engine, debating taking it for a little rip. I decide against it because I know he will kill me when he gets here if I do.
I turn on the radio and the only station that I can get from here is some old country one. It’s better than nothing. I hate the silence. Silence forces me to steep in my own thoughts. I’ve grown awfully accustomed to ignoring these thoughts lately and it’s not going to be right now, right here that I break down.
I wish there was some way to get ahold of my dad and let him know that I’m okay. Physically at least. I’m not sure if I’ll ever really recover mentally. Painful images flash through my mind and I push them back like my father taught me to growing up. It takes everything I have. I understand why he taught me this now. Sometimes feeling these emotions makes us weak when we can’t afford to be weak.
To distract myself I decide to practice some magic. Magic that is not controlled by my temper. I need to learn how to do it without being emotionally unstable.
I focus on a tree in the distance, I imagine it falling. I will it to fall. I imagine the noise it will make, and I will it to at least move. Nothing. Back to square one. How flipping frustrating. It really can’t be this difficult. I get out of the car and kick one of the tires in frustration. I’ve practiced this way too much to only be this far. This far as in nowhere.
“Hey, princess, cut that out,” an all too familiar voice says. “You’re going to wreck my car.”
Surprised to see him so soon, I whip around.
“What?” he asks, his smirk faltering.
“You scared me,” I admit.
“Didn’t mean to. Sorry.” He laughs.
“How are you?” I ask nervously. I’m unsure if he’s here to rip my head off or protect me. He looks much better anyways.
He shrugs. “Not well, but I’m handling it for now. I have a couple hours before I begin to lose it again. In the meantime, if you start bleeding, you’re dead. So don’t trip.”
“A couple hours?” Did I hear that right?
“Yeah. I just slaughtered a couple cows. I’ll be okay for a bit.”
“Cows?” I question.
“Uh yes, that’s what I said,” he answers, confused. Then realization crosses his features. “I didn’t hurt anyone. I hardly ever hurt anyone anymore unless I’m hurt badly or I lose control completely. I don’t just go around killing humans, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He raises his hands in defense.
Good to hear. This takes a bit of weight from my shoulders.
“Do all vampires eat cows?” I ask awkwardly, and already know the answer.
“No. They’re disgusting. Human blood is far better and suppresses our thirst longer as well. White witch blood, is even better and immortal blood is also delectable. Most vampires can’t control their thirst at all. They just kill. Then there’s the exceptions like me and Nathan. We’re the only two that I know of who can resist the thirst enough to think coherently. I think it’s because we’re both part witch
. Nathan drinks animal blood as well. Marco keeps putting these god damned curses on me to make my thirst equivalent to a regular vampire but I have a spell that numbs my thirst enough that I can think, at least for a little while after I feed.” D says and almost sounds embarrassed. “You should be scared of me right now, Ariella. I am scared of myself right now.”
“I am scared, D, but I’m scared about a lot more than this. I’ve been scared ever since this whole thing went down months ago, but I can handle fear. What I can’t handle is not giving you a chance because of what you are. I will regret not knowing. I am also part vampire, I have also done terrible, unforgivable things. You’re no worse than I am,” I try to explain.
“You’re part vampire, but that part of you hasn’t been activated yet. The darkness is there, yes, but you haven’t died with vampire blood in your system. It runs through your veins but until you die, you’re only part witch, part immortal, part human. The blood is there but it hasn’t been activated and won’t be until you die. Something that I never explained when I told you about the transformations of immortals and vampires is that immortals do not have to die for their transformation to complete, vampires do. When this happens, then your darkness will only be harder to fight. This is just the beginning.”
“What will happen after that? After I die?” I ask frightened.
“No one can say for sure because there’s no one out there like you. Marco’s guess is that you will be able to wield both dark and light magic like I can. He thinks this will make you strong, again, like me.” He smirks. “But unlike me, you have immortal blood so you will be virtually ‘unkillable’.”
“What if you like cut off an immortal’s head?” I wonder, trying to imagine how anything could survive without a head.
“An immortal is a being of magic creation. They don’t follow the laws of nature as you know them. The head will grow a new body,” he explains.
I try to imagine that and find it disturbing enough that I have to think about something else.
“The only way an immortal cannot exist, is if Arianna ends them. She made the immortals to kill the vampires and the dark witches. She designed them to only die upon her doing. The vampires are killable because they need to absorb their life force from someone else to continue life, like all dark witches. So if you cut a vampire’s head off, he or she will die in seconds as the life force flows out of them unless they somehow manage to devour a bunch of blood in those seconds which is basically impossible.”