“Who is it?” I heard my mama yell.
“It’s your baby boy,” I yelled back.
The door flew open, and Mama rushed out to greet me. “Boy, I thought I was going to do a pop up on yo’ ass. You been home since yesterday, and I’m just now seeing you.” She hugged me with everything in her little frame.
“You know I was coming, but I had to spend some quality time with my girl.”
“Come on, let’s go inside. Your sister is at work. You know she’s going to be upset that she wasn’t here.”
“I’ll get up with her later. So what’s good, Mama? How you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. Happy that you’re home. I can finally rest well at night. You still messing with that same bitch?”
“Ma, chill out. You know I love Shontelle.”
“That bitch is bad news. I told you that from the first day you brought her around. I can’t tell you who to mess with, but don’t trust that bitch. I heard she was messing around out here. I hope you using protection before you run up in her.”
“Ma, chill out. Shorty ain’t messing wit’ no other nigga. People just be spreading lies, trying to put that girl down.”
“Hmmm. I hear you, and I see she got your nose wide open. You’re my son, and best believe, if that bitch ever do anything to you, I’ma be there with my old ass.”
I had to laugh ’cause she was dead-ass serious too. Ma ain’t never like Shontelle from the beginning. She said she was around ’cause I had money. That might’ve been true. But shorty had been there these seven years, more than most of my family, and for that alone, I’m loyal to her.
“What’s that smell, Ma?” I walked off to the kitchen.
I was trying to cut the conversation short about Shontelle. I concluded that my girl and my mother would never be cool, and honestly, as long as they didn’t disrespect each other, we were good.
“I got some beef stew in the crockpot. It’s almost finished.”
“Oh yeah, I need some of that.” This was one of the things I missed most—my mama’s cooking.
After we ate, we sat there, talking for a little while. Mama still had the safe, so I popped it open. When I got locked up, there was a little over twenty-five grand in there. Now, it was only ten grand. I was kind of salty ’cause Mama didn’t tell me she used any of my money. I started to say something, but I decided not to. I just grabbed the ten stacks, kissed Mama on the cheek, and left.
I was tight as fuck, though. I was hoping to get back on with some of the money. With only ten grand, there wasn’t much that I could really do. Shit, I needed clothes, among other shit, and this was just barely about to cover them.
I spent about three grand at the mall. Got me a brand-new phone, which I had no idea how to work, copped me two pairs of Jays, and the rest was spent on clothes, drawers, and socks.
I pulled in at my homie Jay’s auto body shop. See, Jay and I used to run back in the day. Only thing was, he was smart. He made money and got out, using the drug money to start his business. Now, he was running a legit business that the cops couldn’t touch. I’d heard that he had even gotten a contract detailing some of the cops’ cars. Now, that was some boss shit. We spoke quite a few times over the phone while I was locked up. I was definitely proud of the big homie.
When I parked, I took a minute to look around at how my nigga was really out here, getting down. I couldn’t believe that he had employees and shit. Finally, I got out of the car and entered the shop. I spotted Jay sitting down by the counter.
“Oh, hell nah. This can’t be my nigga.” He jumped up and rushed toward me.
“What’s good, fam?” We exchanged dap and embraced. “Nigga, I knew yo’ days was winding down, but I didn’t know you was out.”
“I just got out yesterday, fam. I like this.” I took a quick glance around his shop.
“Shit, you know a nigga got to make it one way or the other. But, nigga, fuck all that. How it feel to be free?”
“Shit, it feel good as fuck. Still trying to adjust to being a free man.”
He sat down, and I took a seat across from him.
“Shit, nigga. It’ll take a minute, but you good. First, you need to get you some pussy, then get back to the money.”
“Shit, you late. I wasted no time in tearing up Shontelle’s fine ass.”
“Oh, man, I thought you and shorty was done. Nigga, you need to find you some new hoes.” He busted out laughing.
“Well, you know that’s a must, but for now, she’s the only one that rocked wit’ a nigga, so I made sure that she was the one that got this work first. But even when I get some new bitches on the squad, shorty still goin’ be my main bitch.”
“I hear you, homie. I hear you. Well, fuck all that. It’s the weekend. You tryin’a get up in the club? Let’s celebrate, nigga.”
“Hell yeah, dawg. Shit, I just copped some new gear, so you know I’m ready to jump out there.”
“Shit, let’s make it happen then, nigga,” he said. I handed his ass my phone so that he could lock his number in that shit. I ain’t wanna hear him talkin’ shit about me, because I wasn’t able to work that new technology shit that they had out.
A customer walked in right when he handed me my shit back, so we exchanged dap, and I bounced. It was good seeing my nigga. He was one of the few solid niggas still left out in these streets. The rest of these niggas were either straight pussies or bitches. Shit had definitely changed since I left the streets. Most of the solid niggas were either dead or locked up.
I glanced at the time. It was 6:00 p.m., so I made my way to Shontelle’s shop. I swear I just got home and wasn’t in no mood to hear her mouth already. After talking to Mama and then to Jay, I couldn’t help but wonder. I knew Shontelle said she was faithful to me the entire time, but each time her name got mentioned, it wasn’t in a good way. Was she telling the truth? Or was she another bitch out here, fucking and sucking on the next nigga?
Chapter Two
Shontelle
Niggas could be the biggest hoes out here in these streets, but always screaming they wanted a real bitch. When I was younger, I was that real bitch. I was rolling with this nigga Jakeel, helping him make runs up top every two weeks. I helped him count his money and held his gun whenever the police were around. See, I thought I was playing my position as his wifey. That was . . . until bitches started showing up left and right, claiming they were fucking around. One bitch went as far as claiming she was pregnant by him. Of course, he denied the bitch and the baby. I almost had a mental breakdown ’cause he was my first love, the first nigga I fucked. But being the only nigga to get this pussy didn’t stop him from slanging dick all over Decatur.
I should’ve left him, but I was only 18 and was young, dumb, and full of come. So I took his word for it and stayed with him. I was the apple of his eye and the envy of the bitches who wished they were fucking him. I felt proud, especially when he referred to me as “bae.” I knew I had to be special for him to bring around all his homies and his family. He also spent stacks on me. When we would hit Lenox Mall, he bought me a diamond ring and bracelets. My account was looking good, and he bought me a brand-new car. At 18, I was in heaven, living my best damn life.
Things took a drastic turn when he got torn off. One of the fiends that he was serving got torn off and decided to rat on Jakeel. My world was turned upside down ’cause all I knew was the life he gave to me. In my mind, I thought he was going to beat the case and come home to me. Wrong! On the day of his sentencing, the judge gave him seven years after he pleaded guilty to drug and gun charges. I remember them leading him away, and I fell to my knees. What was I supposed to do without my man? I couldn’t live without him.
Reality soon settled in. Jakeel was gone, and I was in this crazy world all by myself. After days of lying around crying, I got up one day and decided I had to do something. I had to figure out a way ’cause he wasn’t coming home any time soon. Jakeel had left some work in a safe. I didn’t know shit about sellin
g no powder. But I knew my big cousin Jay was in the streets. I hit him up, and he came over. He decided to get it from me, and he gave me the money. I knew he probably beat me in the head, but he was family, and it ain’t like I could just go out there and start selling drugs.
With the money he gave me, I decided to go to beauty school. So I enrolled in Beaver Beauty Academy here Decatur. Within eighteen months, I graduated. I worked in a shop on Candler for about three years, built my clientele up, and saved a few coins. I decided to step out on faith and got my own shop. I hired two other girls and a chick that did makeup. Together, we now had one of the most elite salons on the East Side.
It was hard living without my man. But as time went by and more gossip start circulating, I realized that he wasn’t the solid nigga that he said he was. I was out here bragging about how I was holding my man down, and what I didn’t know was that I was the laughingstock ’cause everyone in the streets knew how dirty this nigga was doing me.
* * *
“Girl, I know you happy your boo is home,” Liza, one of my closest friends and stylists at the salon, whispered to me.
“Girl, I ain’t gon’ lie. I am happy he’s home, but at the same time, I’m kind of nervous. Seven years have passed, and I’m afraid he’s no longer the nigga that I fell in love with. Shit, I’m no longer the young, naïve girl that he left out here. I’m a grown-ass woman, and I’m not up for no games with this nigga.”
“Girl, I feel you, but he would be a fool if he comes back out here with the same old bullshit. You held his ass down all them damn years, so he better act right. If he don’t, then he will have to deal with me too.”
I know her ass was dead-ass serious. Liz and I had been rocking with each other since our freshman year in high school. She was the only bitch that I really trusted 100 percent. Best believe, if she’s rocking, then I’m rolling.
Before we could finish our conversation, I heard the door to the shop open. I looked up and saw that it was Keel’s ass who’d just walked in. It’s crazy how, after all these years, seeing him still gives me butterflies in my stomach.
“Hmm, there goes your boo,” Liz teased as she walked off to tend to her client that was under the dryer.
Jakeel made his way over to my booth. “Hey, love, what’s good? You’re about ready to go?” he kissed me on the lips.
“Yeah, let me clean up my station real quick, and I’ll be ready.”
“A’ight. I be out in the car, waiting.”
As he walked out, I spotted one of the clients who was sitting there waiting, eyeballing him all the way out the door. I couldn’t help but wonder if she recognized him from somewhere. I grabbed the broom and started sweeping up the hair from the floor. Then I straightened up my booth and grabbed my purse.
“Hey, Liz, can you lock up and set the alarm for me when you leave?”
“I got you, hon. Go enjoy.” She winked at me.
I laughed to myself as I walked out. I looked at the girl that was staring down my man in the face as I strutted by. I didn’t recognize her, but I wondered what her story was.
Shit, I quickly put on my coat as soon as the wind hit my face. I swear I hated the fucking cold. I walked hurriedly to the car and got in. I couldn’t help but notice he was on the phone, but soon as I sat down, he hung up.
“Who was that on the phone?”
“Oh, just my homeboy. Trying to catch up on old times.”
“Oh, okay,” I said but wanted to say so much more.
All the niggas he used to roll with were nowhere around when he caught his case. His nigga Mel was the only nigga that gave me money on numerous occasions to send to him. Speaking of Mel, I needed to hit him up later. It’s funny I hadn’t heard from him since yesterday.
“Do you need to stop anywhere?”
“Huh?” I was so caught up in my thoughts that I wasn’t paying attention to what he said.
“You a’ight?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Just a little tired.”
“Oh, OK. Do you need to stop anywhere?”
“Yeah, we need something to eat. What you feel for?”
“Anything is cool with me. Shit, I’ve been gone so long, everything tastes better than prison food.”
“Okay, we can do Applebee’s. There’s one on Memorial Drive, near the highway.”
“A’ight, bet.”
On the way to Applebee’s, his phone started ringing. He ignored it like he didn’t hear it. Matter of fact, he cut the music up louder, but I wasn’t going to let him do this. I cut the music down some as the phone continued ringing. I guess whoever it was wanted to talk to him badly. I tapped him on the shoulder.
“What’s up?”
“Your phone is ringing. Why you ain’t picking it up?”
“Man, I can hear it. I’ll call back whoever it is later.”
That’s when it hit me. He just got the phone today. I don’t even have the number. So whoever was calling him just got the number. I looked over at him suspiciously.
“Who you gave your number to already?”
“Damn, Shontelle, what are you? The fucking police?”
“Nah, I’m your fucking woman, and I asked you a fucking question.”
“It’s no-fucking-body, okay? Shit, it might be my mama or my sister. You ain’t the only trying to see me or talk to me. Can you stop with all the damn questions? Do I ask you who calls your phone?”
“You know what? Fuck you, Jakeel.”
I was not in the mood to fight with this nigga, but I hoped he didn’t think I wouldn’t make a note of his attitude. He pulled up at Applebee’s, and we got out and walked in.
It took no time for us to order our food. I was still in my feelings, so I just kept quiet and ate my food. The atmosphere was tense, but I didn’t give a fuck. His ass was going to watch how the fuck he talked to me.
After dinner, we headed home. I was exhausted from working, so I got in the tub as soon as we got in the house. Then I made me a glass of hot chocolate and got in bed. I knew he could tell I was avoiding him ’cause he stayed in the living room, pretending like he was watching television. Either way, I didn’t give a fuck.
Chapter Three
Mika
Three Days Later . . .
Monday Morning
I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was 3:42 a.m., and here I was, wide awake like I didn’t have work in the morning. This wasn’t nothing new, though. Lately, my sleeping pattern was off. I was concerned to the point where I spoke to my doctor about it. He went ahead and prescribed Ambien. The first time I took it, I was out of it at work. The entire day I was sluggish and could barely function. That was the first and the last time I took those pills. Soon as I got home, I threw them in the trash. This wasn’t good at all. Being a probation officer was a tiring job, and most days, I was in the field for close to twelve hours. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. But not being able to sleep at night was putting a strain on me, physically and mentally.
I looked over to the side of the bed and noticed this husband of mine still hadn’t made it home. Shit had gotten really bad in the last year. First, it would be little lies that he was “working,” and then he was “hanging out with the boys.” I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt... until one night when he came home, and I saw lipsticks stains all over his crispy white shirt. When I pointed out the shit to him, he tried to say it wasn’t lipstick. I looked at him and shook my head. This nigga must’ve thought I was a fool. That night, I grabbed my pillow and headed to the guest room. I buried my head in my pillow and started crying. I loved this man. We were a family. Why would he step out on his family?
Just thinking about that night made me upset all over again. I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. I shook my head and threw the phone down on the bed. I just lay there in the dark, looking up at the ceiling.
The alarm kept going off, and, as usual, that’s the time I started feeling tired. I silenced it and decided to gi
ve myself an extra twenty minutes. I must’ve dozed off, ’cause a banging on my door awakened me.
“Ma, are you up?” Ky called out to me.
“Yes, baby, I’m up.” I quickly sat up.
She walked into the room, looked at me, and shook her head.
“What is it?” I asked, the look on her face frustrating me.
“Hmmm, so Daddy didn’t come home again?”
“Baby, listen, your daddy is a grown man and free to do what he pleases. Now, you need to get ready. Don’t you have an early class this morning?”
“Yes, I do, and I’m ready. Ma, I love my daddy, but I have no idea why you put up with him.”
“Girl, get the hell out of my room. When you get you a husband, then you can talk to me about marriage stuff.”
“Hmmm, no disrespect, but if this is how married life’s supposed to be, I’ll be single forever.”
I looked at that girl and walked off. I rushed to my closet and pulled out a pin-striped pants suit. This was one of my favorite outfits, and I’d probably worn it more than I should have. Ky must’ve sensed that I don’t want to talk about her daddy ’cause she walked out of my room without saying another word.
I love my child, but she needed to stay out of grown people’s business. I married this man for better or worse, and just because we were going through a little rough patch didn’t mean we didn’t love each other. I tried to convince myself there was no other woman that could replace me. My husband and I had put too many years of hard work into our marriage. I was sure neither one of us wanted to let it go.
* * *
I heard a knock at the door and lifted my head to see who was there. Joy peeped her head in the doorway.
“Hey, you, I didn’t see you come in.” She came in and closed the door behind her. She placed a cup of hot chocolate in front of me and took a seat across from me.
“Girl, I wish I didn’t have to be here today. But until I hit the lotto, I have to be here. Today, I got three new intakes. I just hope this day goes by fast.”
Finessed a Dope Boy's Heart Page 2