by Amber Lacie
He takes a deep breath, hanging his head. “I hurt you.”
“You did, but it doesn’t matter now. Let me get dressed and throw some clothes in a bag. Then, we can leave. Okay?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I don’t foresee this getting any better. There’s a lot that needs to be dealt with. Are you sure you want to come with me?”
“We are both broken. You more so than me, but we are both broken. I’m not leaving you.”
“Thank fuck for that. I might be able to say, I can let you go, but I can’t do it. I just can’t. I need you.”
Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on his cheek. “I know you do, and I need you.” I throw on a summer dress and slip my arms into a light button up sweater. I toss what clothes I can fit, plus some of my shower stuff into a bag. I’m so stretched between houses. I really need to gather my things, and just decide on a place. At this rate, I am going to end up losing everything. After a quick search of the house, I find my ballet flats in the kitchen by the front door. I slip them on and reach my hand out for, Theron. He holds my hand and carries my bag to the car.
“Can I drive?”
His question catches me off guard, and I stop to face him. “Yeah, sure. No problem.” It seems like an odd request, but I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells with him, so I toss him the keys.
“I just need to stop somewhere first. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine. You just threw me off for a second. Let’s go wherever you need to. I’m yours all day, and most likely for the next couple of days. I should at the least give Olivia a call over at the bookstore to let her know what’s going on.”
He nods his head and we both slide into the car. We drive for a few minutes, neither one of us talking. The air is thick with questions we both want to ask, but neither of us want to make the first move. We take a turn down a gravel road, marked private. I watch the trees pass by, as we drive slowly down the rocky path.
“Do you like it?”
“What?”
“The bookstore? Do you like working there?”
“I really do. I feel in my element there.”
“Good. That’s good.”
We pull up into what I think is a driveway, but I’m not sure. There’s not much of a house left. I can see some bricks left from the foundation, but what catches my eyes is the stone fireplace standing alone. Overgrown grass and tall, weeds surround its base, while vines crawl up it, reaching towards the sun. Theron, steps out of the car and walks closer to where the house once stood. I watch him, as he softly sits on the ground. His expressions change like the wind. Contentment, anger, and sadness all wash over his face. I hesitate for just a moment, before stepping out of the car, quietly shutting my door so I don’t disturb him. He watches me, as I approach him, his eyes never leaving me. I sit down on the grass beside him. I am quiet for a moment, as I pick a bright yellow dandelion growing beside me. It’s too bad the weed isn’t white and full of seeds, I could really use a wish right now. I spin it in my fingers, turning my head slowly to look at Theron. How can such a broken man make me feel so whole?
“Babe, where are we?”
He grabs a twig from the ground and starts drawing in the gravel at our feet. “This used to be my mom’s house. She grew up here. My grandparents died in a car accident a few years after my parents were married. They left my mom everything. The house was old, but it wasn’t completely run down. A little bit of love and hard work would have made it beautiful again.”
“What happened?” Pulling petals off the dandelion, I start chewing on my cheek. Theron, stares at the fireplace and suddenly I see a lost little boy, instead of a man.
“I was probably about seven or eight the last time my mom came here. She got into a fight with Thomas. He wanted to sell it because he felt she spent too much time here. The thing was she very rarely came here. She just wanted to hold onto it since it was all she had left of my grandparents.” Theron takes a long breath and scratches out his drawing in the dirt. “There was a beautiful flower garden that wrapped around the house. She would stop by to water it and take care of the weeds. Any time spent here was time spent away from Thomas. He already hated how much time she spent with me and the house proved to be an added distraction. He finally agreed not to sell it, since the house meant so much to her.”
“So, he just left it to rot?” I never understood Thomas’ jealousy of Theron, but to be jealous of a house seems insane.
“Sort of. A couple weeks later, the police informed my parents that someone burned down the house. They found an empty gasoline container and some rags, but there were no leads on who did it. My dad collected the insurance money, but never fixed the house. He kept the land, but that was it. I heard my mom crying one night, begging him to let her fix it. He told her there was no reason for her to go there ever again. He didn’t want her to become upset by the damage the fire had caused. When she argued, he told her it was easier to get rid of a house than a person. I don’t think she ever brought it up again.”
“That’s just awful.”
“This is why I brought you here. I wanted to show you what he is capable of. He won’t let anything stop him, and he will go to any means to get his way. He wants to destroy me. Right now, you are the only person I have left. You’re the only good thing that I have. He’s going to try to take you away from me again, and I’m afraid of what lengths he will go to. This is why I have to get to him first. I’m going to finish what Gram started and take everything away from him. I’m going to leave him so broken that he will never be able to get close to you or me again.” He breaks the stick in his hand in two. I’m not sure if it was intentional, but he looks at his hands, as if he didn’t know he broke it. Shrugging his shoulders, he tosses the sticks in the tall grass.
I am not sure if his words should scare me or not, but all I feel his hatred for Thomas. “I get it.” Placing my hand on his knee, I look out at what’s left of the burnt remains. “I bet this place was beautiful.”
“It was, especially the garden, but you’ve seen that.”
“What?”
“The garden was the only thing untouched by the fire. It was odd how only the house burnt, but the garden continued to thrive. I don’t think my mom ever knew the flowers made it through the fire. I used to sneak here when she was sick. My gram followed me here one day. I was sitting in between a bunch of Gladiolas, when I saw her walking up the path. She never asked me anything. She just sat down beside me and held my hand. I remember spending that day laying in the garden with her pointing out different shapes in the clouds. It’s one of my favorite memories.” A soft smile plays on his lips, as he looks towards the house. “That night after dinner, Gram took me with her into the library. It was our space. Thomas hated books. Anyways, she told me how she always wanted a garden. She asked me if she could move my garden my mom left me, to her house. The way she called it my garden, made me feel like I still had a piece of my mom left. A piece Thomas had no claim to. I agreed and she hired a landscape company. Of course she’s added to it over the years, but the flowers and the stones from my mom’s garden are still there.”
“It’s beautiful.” I’m sure he knows, but I decide to tell him anyways. “Your gram loved you very much.”
“Yeah.” Theron stands and brushes the dirt from his jeans. “On that note, we should go. Evan needs us.” He pulls me up from the ground and I follow him back to the car.
It turns out that Theron’s mom’s house is really close to his gram’s. When we pull up to the circled drive, I notice Evan sitting outside on the steps. Theron helps me out of the car and keeps my hand clasped in his, as we walk towards the house. We stop at the steps and he drops my hand, taking a seat next to Evan. Running his hand through his hair, he looks over at Evan. “Have you been out here all night?”
“No. A little. I didn’t know where to go. I came home and the house was just too empty without her here. I couldn’t handle it, Theron. Everywhere I looked I saw he
r face, her smile, and I swear I heard her laughter.” His shoulders heave, as he drops his head back into his hands. “I wasn’t there. Thomas, asked me to leave and I refused, but Isa told me to go. She said she would be okay. I stepped out for a minute and checked my email. The next thing I know, machines are alarming, and Thomas is being escorted out of her room. I could hear him screaming at her.”
A sob like I have never heard in my life, escapes Evan’s throat. It’s like I can physically hear his heart being torn apart. It’s awful. His body is violently shaking, as he cries. “I rushed back to her, but the nurses wouldn’t let me in. I just wanted to hold her hand, to let her know that I was close, and to let her know that I loved her. Eventually, the nurses moved and my sweet, Isa was laying peacefully. I grabbed her hand, and brushed her hair out of her face.” Theron’s face pales, as he wipes away the tears escaping his eyes. He gently wraps his arm around Evan’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Theron. I’m so sorry.” Evan cries as if he is begging for forgiveness.
“It’s okay. You didn’t know. I would have done the same. You only did what she asked.” He squeezes Evan shoulder, as an offer of comfort. I stand still with tears streaming down my face, as I watch them both break in front of me. Watching someone break is so surreal. Everything else fades, and I swear that if you look close enough, you can watch fragments from their soul dissipate into the air around them.
“It’s not okay! You don’t understand. I brushed her hair out of her face, so I could look into her beautiful bright green eyes. I wanted to see them shine back at me. I don’t know what I was looking for. Maybe it was hope that she was still here with me or that she would be okay? I don’t know, but I know I didn’t find it.” Evan pushes Theron’s hand off his shoulder, while tears stream down his face. “I watched her beautiful emerald eyes dull in front of me. I watched as the life left her eyes. All I could do was whisper, ‘I love you,’ over and over again. I don’t even know if she heard me. What if she didn’t hear me? What if she died thinking that she was all alone? I didn’t abandon her. Oh God! Why did I leave her?” Evan pushes himself up from the step and walks out towards the trees growing between the houses. Theron doesn’t follow him. He stares blankly out into the distance. At first, I thought he was staring at me, but his gaze is empty. He’s looking right through me.
I turn my head towards Evan, as I hear a loud bellow rip from his chest. My feet won’t move. I’m frozen still as I watch him pummel his fists into a tree. “Theron. Shit, Theron!” My voice snaps Theron back to reality. He follows my gaze and jumps to his feet.
“What the fuck? Evan, stop it!” He takes off towards the trees. I wish I could follow him, but my mind isn’t connecting my thoughts to my feet. Theron runs full force into Evan, knocking him away from the tree. “What the hell are you doing?”
Evan tries to throw a punch at Theron, but it’s messy and slow. He steps to the side, as Evan’s fist cuts through the air beside him, causing Evan to fall to his knees.
Theron lays his hands on Evan’s shoulder. “Stop, Evan. Please, stop.”
“I want to die.”
“I know.”
“I want to go with her.”
“I know. Eve, can you help?”
I nod my head and will my feet to move. The skin on Evan’s knuckles is ripped, bloody, and barely hanging on. His fists are raw. Kneeling down, I take my sweater off and wrap it around both of his hands. “Theron, we need to get him inside.”
“I don’t want to go in there. It’s full of her.” Evan’s voice breaks and once again he falls apart, but this time in my arms.
I look up at Theron, hoping he will have an answer, but his expression is once again vacant. “What if you stayed in the guest house? There’s an extra bedroom. He could stay with us, right?”
Theron looks at me confused for a second before he realizes what I’m saying. “That’s a good idea. Come on, man. Let’s get you inside and cleaned up.”
It takes both of us to get Evan standing on his feet. We walk into the guesthouse and my stomach sinks as the realization hits me that this isn’t over. There are now three broken people trying to hold together the pieces they have left. Thomas is responsible for two of them, and I have my own agenda with him after the stunt he pulled with Bridgette. This isn’t going to end well for him.
I’ve often wondered why the doctor’s office can charge you if you are late to an appointment, but if they are running late, we still have to pay them. It seems only the patients are responsible for being on time. I turn the page in the magazine and I’m greeted with a gorgeous blonde. According to the ad, if I use their shampoo, I can look just like her. A snort escapes me, as I roll my eyes. If I had a makeup artist, photo shop, and airbrushing, I am sure I could look just like her. Her perfect figure, with her perfectly, glossy hair is definitely, false advertising.
There’s a gentleman sitting two seats down from me. We are the only two people in the waiting area. He’s coughing and keeps wiping his nose on the back of his hand. Why did he have to choose a seat so close to me? My face contorts into disgusted horror, as I watch him wipe his nose, cough, and then put back the magazine he was reading onto the table in front of us. I hold back the urge to gag, as I set down the magazine I was reading, and grab my hand sanitizer from my purse. Theron jokingly calls my purse luggage, but its size is definitely suiting when I have to defend myself against plague boy, two seats down.
I hear my name being called, so I collect my things. Plague boy gives me a little wave, as I walk past trying to avoid brushing up against him. The nurse must understand my sense of disgust because there is definitely a sense of sympathy in her expression. I am only in the room for a couple of minutes before the doctor comes in.
“Good morning, Evelyn. How are we today?”
“Fine, but it’s more of a good afternoon, now.”
Glancing down at his watch, he checks the time. “Oh, I guess a good afternoon is in order. How long have you been waiting?”
“About an hour or so.”
“Yes, well that can happen. Some appointments take longer than others.”
I’m not sure what appointments he’s referring to. I never saw anyone except me and plague boy the entire time I was in the waiting area. I’m curious if his appointments were due to him running late. I let out a sigh of frustration and I mentally kick myself. It’s not the doctor’s fault my patience is running thin. I tried to argue with Theron and Evan that they would need me today, since the wake is this afternoon at two, but they wouldn’t listen. Theron insisted that I keep my appointment, so I could get the all clear from the doctor. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal, it was only two broken fingers.
The doctor removes the tape and splint from my fingers. I give them a little flex, and I am able to move them with ease. “You healed up rather nicely. I’m not going to give you any restrictions or anything like that, but please be careful. No more punching. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” I take the papers he hands me, and head to the front desk to check out. As I hand the receptionist my debit card, I look out the office window and notice a pink note tucked under my windshield wiper blade. There’s no way that it’s a ticket, I am parked in a parking lot. I’m barely aware of the receptionist handing me back my card and wishing me a good day. I am too distracted to give her a reply, so I just simply give her a nod of my head.
As I push open the glass doors, stepping into the parking lot, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. My heart is thumping so hard in my chest that I’m sure if anyone was within ten feet of me they would be able to hear it. I carefully pull the note out from under the wiper blade of my car. My stomach sinks as I read the words.
Troubles in paradise? I notice you’re driving your own car. No more fancy rides for you? That must be awful. Just because you are there for him now, doesn’t mean it’s going to last. I am betting on it.
What the hell? I quickly scan the parking lot to see if I can recognize anyone, but of course, I’m alone wi
th a bunch of empty cars. Gripping my keys tightly in my hand, I slide into my seat and immediately hit the lock button. I check my mirrors just in case, but I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for. “Get it together, Eve. It’s just a note. No one is out there waiting for you. This is real life, not some horror flick.” After my brief encouragement to myself, I wad the note up and toss it into the back seat. My drive home is clouded by thoughts of who could have left the note. My gut tells me it’s Thomas, but for some reason I can’t get the idea of Bridgette leaving me the note out of my head.
Noticing the time as I park in front of the guesthouse, I decide it’s best to skip the shower. It’s already one thirty and the wake starts at two. How awful of a person would I be, if I couldn’t even show up to my boyfriend’s grandmother’s wake on time? Making a quick change of clothes, I glance at myself in the mirror. I run my fingers through my long brown locks. My hair is still wavy from when I curled it this morning, so just a little hairspray to keep it from frizzing should do the trick. I’m wearing my black slacks, a charcoal gray silk sleeveless dress shirt, and a black short sleeved cardigan. I slide my feet into a pair of black ballet flats and head out the door. Thankfully, when I pull into the parking lot at the funeral home, I notice that not a lot of guests have arrived yet. I take a deep breath in and brace myself for the worst, as I head inside to find Theron.
I’m sitting with Kayla in the lounge at the funeral home. It’s a little after six and guests are starting to leave. The minister from Isa’s church gave a lovely speech, followed by a sweet farewell from Theron. I’m tired, and my feet hurt from standing and moving back and forth between Theron and Evan. Theron stayed in the front with me beside him, as everyone said their goodbyes. Evan stayed in the back of the room. He sat in a chair he pulled into the corner, with his face buried in his hands during most of the wake. When it was time for the service, Evan abruptly left the room, causing some people to whisper, but they were quickly hushed when the minister began to speak.