“Hi, Jeremy,” she said as he and his tough escort entered the room. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard you’re doing better, so I just thought I’d say hi.” He awkwardly stood there a moment, then turned to speak to his bodyguard, or whoever that man was. “Can I talk to her alone?”
Reluctantly, the big man said, “Five minutes,” then exited the room, remaining at the door.
Jeremy sat against the wall opposite of Theia. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”
Theia nervously rubbed her fingers. “I’m sorry for going psycho.”
“Yeah, what’s up with that, anyway?”
Theia shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought you wanted to hurt me, so I gave you a chance. Sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends.”
“Friends? No, they were just a bunch of fucked up kids like me. I was already supposed to be in this building, but they had me start out at the church because they didn’t think I needed as much help as the other kids my age. So much for that, huh? Yeah, they all gave me shit about it later, but… I was kinda happy about it.”
Weird, thought Theia. “Happy? How could that make you happy?”
“Sometimes people need a good ass-whooping. Besides, I realized you weren’t some pushover or stupid school girl. Sophie made a good friend.” He paused. “I wanted to tell you the truth. I think you earned it… Sorry for my reaction the other day, but I wasn’t lying when I said you got it wrong. I mean, I wasn’t just being in denial or something.”
Curious, Theia asked, “What was I wrong about?”
“Me and Sophie weren’t with our dad. Actually, we didn’t even have the same dad. Mine left our mom before I was born, and Sophie doesn’t even know who her dad is. Mom said that she had a one-time thing with Sophie’s dad; never bothered to tell the guy he helped make two little girls. I guess she stopped trusting men after all the other ones walked out.”
“Still, your mom raised seven kids all on her own. That’s impressive.”
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“So, what did you want to tell me?”
“The guy that me and Sophie were with wasn’t our dad, it was the leader of our group. I mean, Sophie and Faith always loved him like a father, because, you know, he was actually there for us… We knew him way before the war, so, just for short, we kinda called him as ‘dad.’ Mom never had a relationship with him, though. Well anyway, after the bomb attack, and we found a hideout… It was like that night, or maybe the next night or something… I heard Sophie in the middle night trying to fight him off of her. He was keeping her mouth shut and pulling her pants down. Shit, I don’t know what came over him…”
A lot of things can make someone crazy, thought Theia. She felt thankful that no one had ever done that to her, and felt deeply sorry for Sophie that someone tried.
“I made him get off my sister, but he just beat me up instead. Then, he…” Jeremy gestured as if saying Theia knew what happened next. But Theia was silent. “He… hurt me instead…” Jeremy was very quiet when he spoke.
Theia’s heart sank. “I’m so sorry. You’re brave for admitting that. I hear guys never admit that to people because they think it makes them look weak.”
“You hear things like that?”
“Used to. My dad was never really shy about talking about certain things, and Mercy talks to me about these things sometimes, too. Dad wanted me to know about all the dangers in the world. Plus, he was always around very … weird girls.”
“Did that happen to him, too?”
“No, I doubt it. He’s just really smart. He knows a lot about how people think, and what different people go through. Never really shows it, though. He never really shows any of his smarts to people, or skills. Well, except his skill in beating people up, I guess.”
Jeremy laughed. “Is that how you kicked my ass? Your dad taught you how to fight?”
“Kinda. We practiced sparring a lot, and he always told me to control my fear if someone’s attacking me. Sure kept me alive when I was all alone a few months ago.” Theia then asked Jeremy, “So, what happened after that?”
“Well, I just wanted to tell you that Sophie never got hurt. It was me. I’m very sensitive about it. What happened after? Well, I waited until he was asleep, and then I killed him with his own gun. Sophie freaked out and ran away. Before I reached her, she was caught by that one guy you talked about. You know, the same guy that caught you.”
“Yeah, I know who you mean.”
“I found a different hiding place, and that’s where the Army found me. When they found Sophie, she was still mad about what I did. Mad that I killed our ‘dad,’ mad that I ‘let her get captured,’ and things like that. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”
“I think she will. Everybody’s been through hell. It’s made us all … fucked up.” Theia laughed, and then Jeremy with her. It felt good to laugh.
“Yeah, we’re pretty fucked up.”
“That we are.”
The bodyguard came back into the room, saying that Jeremy’s time was up. “Well,” said Jeremy, “I’ll see you around.”
–––––––
It was nice to make a new friend in Jeremy, despite regretting the circumstances in which the friendship formed. The following day, Theia was released from isolation, and returned to the other kids at the church. Her behavior never declined again – no outbursts, no disobedience, and not even any social isolation from her peers. She couldn’t go to Jeremy, but Jeremy was able to visit her. Theia provided him with advice on how to cope with his traumatic memories, which were far more numerous than the one incident he had clashed with Theia about. Jeremy took her advice and her criticism with an open mind. The two improved one another.
Finally, the day came for release. Theia received no forewarning whatsoever that it was time, though. She was in the midst of eating her lunch, and Mercy came into the sanctuary, virtually demanding Theia be released. She wasn’t going to complain, certainly, but found the situation peculiar.
“Are you ready?” asked Mercy.
“I think so?”
Theia skipped to the car, despite barely being able to see where she was going. Freedom at last, and it never felt so sweet. As they stepped into the car, Mercy said, “You ready for things to return to normal?”
Again, it was such an odd question, but Theia smiled and answered, “Absolutely.”
As they drove back to the house, Mercy didn’t seem nearly as excited as Theia felt. Nervous, even. She assumed that Mercy simply didn’t have anything to be thrilled about, apart from Theia returning home. She asked, “Aren’t you excited that I’m coming home?”
“Nervous, actually.”
“Nervous? How come? I’m better now.”
Mercy made no reply; not for the remainder of the drive. Theia tried to ignore it, but it was starting to rub off on her. She observed Mercy’s hands on the steering wheel. Trembling, fidgeting… Something was clearly wrong.
“What happened?” asked Theia.
“Nothing.”
“You’re scared of something. Aren’t you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
Mercy glanced at her, smiling slightly. “Nothing’s wrong, honey. Just a little nervous, that’s all.”
Nervous? Her mind raced to figure it out. She trusted Mercy but, What could make her nervous that she wouldn’t want to tell me about? Did someone kill Fallon? Did the Army take away our house? She ventured into the depths of her mind. Then, she became certain of what it was… Mercy’s giving me away to someone else… Theia became convinced of it. When does it end? she thought, wanting to cry. There was no need to beg more information from Mercy. Only one thing could depress her, while also prompting her to shield Theia from knowing it right away.
“I’ll pack up when we get home…”
Mercy grimaced. “Pack? What are you talking about?”
Theia never answered. They made it home a minute later. Before Mercy got out, T
heia asked for the keys to unlock the front door ahead of Mercy, as she sometimes had done before. However, it was a ploy. To avoid allowing Mercy to drag out divulging the painful truth, Theia rushed ahead, planning to pack up as soon as she got inside. Perhaps she’d run away before being given away a second time by a parent she loved. “Right as I was starting to love Mercy,” she said under her breath. “I thought of her as a mom, damn it…”
When Theia opened the front door, she was shocked beyond belief.
Sitting there at the dining room table, patiently awaiting their arrival, was her father…
Stunned beyond measure, out of breath, and unable to believe her eyes. She stood frozen, feeling her heart skip a beat or two, or perhaps it stopped entirely.
“Are you happy to see him?” asked Mercy, walking in behind her. Theia still couldn’t move nor speak.
Ethan stood and approached her. “I missed you, baby.”
Theia dropped everything and ran the opposite direction, shoving Mercy aside. She screamed and cried as she put as much distance behind her as possible.
MERCY
Theia ran straight into the street, where several cars were driving in both directions. Terrified, Mercy gave chase. Before Theia made it more than a few dozen feet past the house, she slowed then dropped to her knees, burying her face into her hands. When Mercy caught up, she knelt down behind Theia and embraced her closely. Theia shook violently, even biting Mercy’s shoulder. No matter what, Mercy did not let go, saying, “I’m here… I’m here…”
“Why did he come back?” she screamed.
“He promised he would. You made him promise.”
“NO! NOOOO!”
As much as she struggled, Theia never tried to push Mercy away. Mercy knew the meltdown would be short-lived; Theia merely needed to mentally adjust to the fact her father had returned. Perhaps she would accept it after her emotions tamed; perhaps she would realize the wait was finally over.
Mercy remembered a time of her own when Ethan caused her panic. “Don’t struggle,” he whispered, applying more pressure on her throat. She stopped struggling, preparing herself for the worst to come. The darkness of that attic, its silence, its ambiguous location… It all resonated with her. Merely the fear of being attacked remained with her since that night. But Ethan did nothing. He let go, stood, then helped her stand. “I’m not going to hurt you.” It was what had allowed Mercy to trust Ethan, without having known him beyond acquaintance yet. Still, sometimes emotions overpower intuition, and that fear of what Ethan may have done to her, continued into the present day, despite nothing having happened. He never harmed her.
Mercy held Theia for a while, likely several minutes, until Theia’s energy finally gave out. Theia pulled back, the two looked straight into each other’s eyes. “I can’t, Mom, I just can’t!” she cried. “He hurt me… so much.”
Mercy stroked her beautiful hair, wishing more every second that she could take the pain away. “How did he hurt you, honey?”
Tears swelled in Theia’s eyes, and her face cringed more. Her whole body reacted to that question. “He left…” She cried, but without struggling.
“You need to let him come back, Theia… You need him now more than ever, and he needs you just as much. Something bad is about to happen. Some of us might not survive. Don’t you want to be with your dad in case something bad happens to one of you?”
“What’s going to happen?”
“Everyone’s going to be evacuated. The war is escalating and too many people are dying. Everybody’s going to leave Portland until it’s safe again. Who knows, though? It may not be safe anywhere. That’s why you have to make peace, Theia. You don’t want things to be like this if he died. He wouldn’t want things to be like this if you died.”
“No. No, I can’t. It’s too hard.” Mercy could hardly understand her words.
“You have to try. Promise me you’ll try?”
Theia looked at her, then down, and nodded slowly.
“I’ll send him away, if that’s what you want.” Theia didn’t object, as Mercy expected. “When you get back inside, I need you to pack everything you can. You don’t have a duffle bag or suitcase, do you? No, I don’t think you had one when we moved in there. Well, just keep everything organized and we’ll fit it into the car. Okay?”
“Why do we have to leave?”
Reluctantly, but unable to lie, Mercy said, “We think your aunt is going to attack us. Her army is just as big as ours. That’s why your dad’s here now. He ran away, because she’s gone crazy.”
“Aunt Lily wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Maybe she won’t, but the people she controls will. If we’re careful, she never has to know you’re here.”
–––––––
Walking back home, Theia hid behind Mercy. When she unlocked the door, Theia went straight to her bedroom without looking at her father once.
“I thought that would go differently,” said Ethan.
“Me too… You okay?”
Ethan paused. “Give it time.”
“I told her she needs to give you a chance. She said she would, but…” Dead silence fell between them. “Well… you’re welcome to stay close, if Theia can handle it. I don’t think we’ll need help packing or anything, so…”
Ethan stood. “I’ll stay with the Corwins, then.” He remained still for a moment, then proceeded to the front door since there seemed to be nothing left to say.
Mercy stuttered as she said, “Um… Thanks for, you know … informing me. I appreciate it.”
Ethan nodded.
“I wish Fallon had told me, but things happen, I guess.”
Ethan opened the door.
“Hey!” she called. He looked back at her. “If it’s not too bold to say… I know Theia’s your daughter, but… I think it would be healthier for you – healthier for both of you, actually – if you tried to open up to others too. Let yourself love others.” She chuckled. “I’m not trying to say me, I’m just trying to say … others. I don’t know, maybe the Corwins would be a good start. They’re a good family. Get to know them. Maybe one day, love them like family too.” Mercy realized she had a lot more to say than originally thought. “I’m not saying love your daughter any less, by any means. I’m just trying to say that you and her would benefit a lot from welcoming other people into your heart. I don’t want either of you to be broken and lose all will to live if one of you dies… I’m probably making no sense whatsoever.”
Ethan lowered his head. “Well, in the past, Theia’s never had trouble opening up to people. Can’t say the same for myself. I appreciate the advice, though.” Then with that, he walked out.
Mercy checked on Theia. As soon as opening the door, she saw that nothing had been packed. Theia was sitting on her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. “I don’t want to go.”
Mercy stood beside the bed. “You have to, Theia. It’s what your dad wants, and it’s what I want.”
“Aunt Lily won’t hurt me!”
“Theia, you can get angry all you want. I won’t change my mind about this. Nobody’s safe here.”
Raising her head, scowling, Theia said, “Why don’t we keep fighting her, then? Or evacuate everybody in Portland?”
“Because children live here. Infants, too. Seniors, people with physical and mental handicaps… A lot of us can’t fight, and Colonel Corwin lost most of his forces. Sometimes, you have to know when you’ve lost the battle.”
Theia lowered her head again. “Like me.”
Mercy sat on the bed, putting a hand on Theia’s knee. “What do you mean by that? What battle have you lost?”
“Everything.”
Mercy decided to say nothing. She merely looked at Theia until Theia finally spoke again.
“Dad’s just going to leave me again, isn’t he? He only said he had to leave so that I wouldn’t be hurt.”
“Theia, he’s come back. What more proof do you need that he doesn’t want to abandon you?”
<
br /> “Because that’s what everybody does! Mom, Dad, and now even Aunt Lily’s going around killing people. I never have friends for a long time. Dad never told me why I was kidnapped. I mean, just a few minutes ago, I wanted him to leave, and he just did it no problem! He didn’t even argue with me about it, or you.”
Mercy pondered how to phrase what she wanted to say. “Theia… I think you know you’re wrong. I think you understand that people love you. It seems to me that you’ve been hurt by so many people, in so many ways, that you’re trying to shut them out forever. I think you ran away from your dad screaming, not because you think he’s going to hurt you again, but because you don’t feel strong enough to take that chance again.
“What you need to know, honey, is that we all hurt each other. Family most of all. We’re human. We’re messed up creatures.” When Theia looked up at her, she studied Theia’s expression for a moment. “I think you trust your dad, but you don’t trust yourself. He never abandoned you. He was protecting you, from himself. Has he improved? I don’t know. Maybe even he doesn’t know. Give him some credit, though. He’s trying. You can’t deny that. And also, I think you should stop focusing on what he’s done. You’re both obsessed with what he’s done. Neither of you forgive him for that. He’ll never be perfect, but he’ll always be your father. Healing can’t happen instantly. Changing one’s self, breaking old habits, forgiving one’s self… None of those things are ever easy.”
Theia nodded. “What do you want me to do? Just start trusting him again?”
“I can’t say for sure. All I know is, you both need time, and you need each other.” Theia nodded. “Now, as for this stubbornness about evacuating, I won’t hear any more of it. Pack your things, get in the car. I’ll carry you to the car myself if you don’t listen.”
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