Once Ethan could stand straight and breathe easy, he threw the gun into the trees, then pulled Lilith up by her hair. She nearly couldn’t support her weight on her good leg from the pain of the other. Ethan dragged her toward the nearest tree, then slammed her head against it with tremendous force. He did it again, then again. On the fourth, he scraped her face hard against the bark. This he repeated several times as well. Skin, hairs, and what felt like bone too was being grated off her body. Finally, Lilith screamed, “Stop, Ethan! Please” But he only threw her against the ground, rolled her onto her back, then sat on her chest as he proceeded to pummel her head with his fists.
“Dad!” screamed Theia. He stopped immediately.
Lilith coughed the blood from her throat and nostrils, struggling to bring air into her lungs. Now, she was crying, and bitterly. “I’m sorry…Sorry, Ethan. I’m sorry! Theia, I’m sorry.”
“If you come so much as a mile of me or my daughter, I’ll fucking kill you!” Lilith coughed, and Ethan repeated himself in much greater volume. “YOU HEAR ME? YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!”
Lilith crawled with her functional limbs to Ethan’s feet. “Why?” she cried. Her voice was as if her soul was pouring from her chest. This could be among the final moments of her life. She had to know. “Why? Please…”
Coldly, apathetically, Ethan simply answered, “You deserve to die.” He seethed his teeth as he added, “And because of you, so do I.”
Holding his wounds, Ethan walked away. Theia looked at her with an unreadable expression, then followed.
Lilith relaxed her body, giving up. She was ready.
GHOST
OCTOBER 2000
“You sure seem to be in a good mood,” said Lilith as soon as Ethan answered the door.
“It’s been a good week,” replied Ethan, inviting her inside. Michael came away from the frame.
Lilith stared at him silently as he shut the door and led her toward the kitchen. “How’s it been a good week?” she asked, sitting on one of the two kitchen stools.
“Kayla and I have been getting along,” answered Ethan.
“I guess that’s better than not getting along,” said Lilith, a little suspicion in her voice.
“So, what did you come to tell me instead of calling from a safe distance this time?”
She sneered. “Nobody follows me, okay? I make damn sure of it. I come because I want to see you. It’s worth the risk.”
Ethan sighed. “This is a social visit, then? Nothing important happening?”
Lilith paused again. She appeared offended. “Visiting you is important to me, Ethan… Well, it happened.”
“The families made their move?”
She nodded. “I was with them, too. It was … quick. A few got away, though, including Bryan. We know where they are, though.”
“Don’t.”
Lilith paused. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t kill Bryan. He’s still my brother. I just… I can’t let that happen. I was too upset to say anything last time, but, now… Just don’t.”
Lilith nodded. “If you say so… Although, I’d have to recommend you change your mind about it. Your choice, though. Also, figured I’d tell you: You’ve been pardoned. You can come home now. Kayla too. Since I’ve proved my worth to the family and I wanted you pardoned above all else, Phoebe and the Commission waived your exile. So, you’re welcome. Weeks of hard work, just for you. Also, I persuaded Mom to get us a house! It was already vacant, and has more rooms than we’ll need, but, the more the merrier. We can move in immediately.”
You had a lot to gain from all this, thought Ethan, but he refrained from saying that for the moment. “Thanks, sis. I owe you. Still, though…” He spoke his mind: “It seems you did this because you knew you’d get something.”
“I hoped to achieve your respect at least. Maybe you’d stop acting like you can’t stand me all the time. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little recognition from the families.”
“It’s your endless quest to earn my affection that makes me not want to give it. I love you; isn’t that enough?” Lilith nodded passively. “But I know you still gained something from all this hard work. There had to be something in it for you, and Shane, and whoever.”
Lilith reluctantly replied, “Yeah, you’re right. I get Phoenix’s job.”
Now that was unexpected, thought Ethan. “Phoenix’s job? As in, being the boss? Er – the underboss?”
She smiled bright. “Exactly. One day I’ll be boss!” She looked at him as if expecting him to be excited. “Aren’t you happy?”
“How did you earn that much after one successful mission? A mission where, you know, all you figured out was something the families already knew.”
“Phoenix talked to me after the meeting. She basically admitted she’s never done anything that impressive. ‘That took tenacity, and risk, and brains,’ she said. I guess she realized that I’m more cut out for the job than she is. Let’s all be honest here – she only became underboss because she’s Phoebe’s only kid. Nepotism for the win.”
“Phoenix stepped down, then? It wasn’t Phoebe’s decision?” Lilith shook her head. “I bet Phoebe’s going to object to it, though. Phoenix is much older than you and a lot more experienced.”
Lilith slumped over the counter, shooting a creepy smile at Ethan as she said, “Yeah, but she said I’m more cut out for the job.” Straightening her back, she added, “Now we’ll have everything we’ve ever wanted, little brother.”
Ethan scowled. “Like what? Power? I never wanted power. I don’t care about money, either.”
“Part of you cares, I know it. Don’t you remember being homeless? Orphaned? Defenseless? I know part of you has always wanted to ascend to the top.”
“The top of the organized crime food chain? Yeah, you’re right. I did want money and power. Here’s the difference between us, sis: I only wanted enough of both to provide for my family. I never wanted to overcompensate for being so helpless by controlling an army or being rich. You know what? It’s a good thing you’re here, because this time, I have something to tell you.”
Lilith’s face sunk. She looked afraid.
“Kayla and I are in love. We’re together.” He worried about how Michael would react to that more than she would. He didn’t look toward the guardian, though, pretending to forget Michael was nearby.
Lilith scoffed. “What? Are you kidding me? She’s a junkie; a whore. It doesn’t get lower than that.”
“No, it doesn’t get lower than being a cold-blooded killer. Besides, Kayla had a rough time, but she’s better now. She’s going to improve herself. She’s been clean for three weeks.”
“And how long have you been fucking her?”
He hated that terminology. It was an inaccurate description of their relationship. Regardless, Ethan went along with it, just to mess with her, because he knew it upset her. “One week,” he answered.
Lilith slammed her hands against the counter, and began to stomp toward the front door. “Well, you’re fucking welcome for risking my life for you.”
Ethan followed her until she got to her car. Once they were away from anyone else’s hearing range, he said, “Look, I know you want to be with me, sis, and I’m sorry.”
She froze opening the door. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s been obvious for years, Lily. Don’t deny it. I’m sorry I’ve felt that way for you. I’m sure you feel betrayed, or abandoned or something… That’s not true. I still love you. You’re my sister. But I want to be with Kayla. She’s everything I want in a partner. She’s smart, she’s –”
“Go to hell!” shouted Lilith as she got into her car and sped off.
––––––
“You gonna to need a job, Ethan,” said Sierra, sitting on the couch as Ethan brought in the final box.
“Unpacking all this shit will be job enough,” Kayla commented.
Ethan smiled. “Well, lucky you, Kayla. That’ll be your job f
or a while. And don’t throw everything into the guest room.” Everyone shared a laugh except Kayla.
“We’re not gonna have a guest room,” Kayla said, her voice a little quieter.
“Oh? Is someone moving in to the spare bedroom that I don’t know about?”
Kayla didn’t answer. Instead, she said, “So, what kind of job do you have in mind, love?”
Unnerved somewhat by her avoiding the question, Ethan paused. Part of him feared that perhaps the girls had secretly planned for some guy to move in behind his back, and if Kayla was in on it, that would upset him greatly. He trusted her, though, and he trusted the other girls. They could be planning to make the spare into a game room for all I know, he thought.
Finally, Ethan answered Kayla. “No idea. Figured Phoebe would hook me up somewhere.”
“I got an idea,” Sierra interjected. “Work for us.” Ethan and Kayla both turned their heads. “I’m serious.”
Kayla looked like she was holding in a laugh. She said, “A pimp? Don’t you think that’s a little low?”
“No lower than being a ho. But hey, who cares? You gonna make bank. And now that Roland’s gone…”
In an instant that felt like it lasted for hours, a flood of emotion came over Ethan. Thoughts of blood, and death. Guilt struck him like claws ripping open his chest. They’re dead because of me. They’re dead because of me. He even started to sweat a little.
Sierra finished her point without any pause: “… we need a new bodyguard, and someone to work for us too.”
Ethan shook his head. “Sorry… Say that again.”
The girls laughed, perhaps because they thought Ethan was in disbelief at Sierra’s idea. It was better that they believed that to be the reason.
“I’m serious,” Sierra repeated. “Look, Ethan can fight, shoot a gun, and his momma’s Phoebe-fucking-Krohn. Best part is, I trust ‘im.”
Not a bad point, thought Ethan.
“The girls don’t need a pimp, though,” said Kayla. “We didn’t need Roland, we just couldn’t get away from him.”
“Yeah, but who’s gonna keep pimps off our back? Those shitheads never back down when they know a girl isn’t taken. We might as well be taken by someone we like, don’t ya think?”
Ethan slightly changed the subject. “What did you mean by ‘work for us?’”
“Oh, just someone to find clients for us and stuff. Drives us to the club. That kind’a shit.”
Ethan paused. “Doesn’t sound too bad, if you really think I can protect you all. But…”
“…Yeah?” said Sierra.
“Do you want this job forever? Do the rest of your girls want this job forever? I can’t imagine that you do.”
“Nothing lasts forever, love…” Kayla agreed.
Ethan thought for a moment, nodding. Looking at Kayla he said, “I’ll talk to the girlfriend about it.” Then, he sighed looking at the countless boxes, furniture, and wrapped fragiles in the house. “First, we have to focus on moving in, though.”
“Oh, I thought I had to do all of it,” joked Kayla, standing then pushing Ethan a little. He grabbed and pulled her in for a close embrace. “Is that something you wanna do?” she asked.
“Maybe…”
–––––––
Knowing that Kayla always wanted to hike up Angel’s Rest, Ethan drove them there the next day. A hike was planned for the day after moving in to the new house, but Ethan kept the destination secret, until they arrived, of course. Kayla was excited, squealing as they pulled in to the lot at the trail’s base.
Angel’s Rest, a nearly two-and-a-half-mile hike to a summit that overlooked the Columbia River, took the couple fifty minutes to ascend. Kayla had a few minor breathing troubles along the way, but was overall fine. Upon reaching the top, she said, “It’s just like everybody’s always said.”
“What’s that?” asked Ethan.
“You can almost see Portland from up here. How far away is this?”
“I don’t know. Twenty-something, thirty miles? You fell asleep on the way here.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I thought you were just driving until you found some place that said ‘hiking here!’”
Ethan smiled. “Hey, I said I knew where I was going!”
“Uh-huh, yeah right. Every guy thinks he knows what he’s doing.”
From behind, Ethan wrapped his arms around Kayla’s shoulders. “Don’t pick on me.” He kissed her head.
“So defenseless you are,” she laughed, leaning back against Ethan. “This was very thoughtful of you. Thanks, love.” She held his arms, squeezing them tight.
After a moment of silence, soaking in the beautiful sight around them, Ethan whispered in her ear, “Bet this isn’t how you thought this year would turn out.”
Kayla chuckled. “No. No, I did not. I have to admit… When you kissed me… Secretly, I liked it.”
“Some secret it is now, huh?”
Kayla turned her head a little. Ethan could see more of her face. “Do you worry about it?” she asked.
“About what?”
“What’ll happen to us. I mean, is it even legal for us to be together?”
“Hm. I guess it can’t be any more illegal than downloading music on the internet, and nobody gets in trouble for that.”
Kayla stared in the direction of Portland for a brief moment. “People are gonna hate us, or at the very least, make fun of us. We’ll never hear the end of it. We should have kept it a secret.”
“Maybe,” said Ethan. “But I don’t care. The world’s always tried to tell people who they’re allowed to love. I wonder if gay people will ever be able to get married.”
Then, just like that, a bomb exploded, causing Ethan to completely freeze and forget who or where he was. Kayla had spoken the most shocking words he ever heard: “I’m pregnant.”
By the time Ethan’s mind returned to the present, he saw that he had stumbled several steps back from Kayla, who was now looking at him with concern. He simply said, “God…”
“How do you feel about that? Besides, well…”
Ethan didn’t hear her question. “That’s who the extra room’s for, isn’t it? How long have you known?”
“Since yesterday. I promise I didn’t tell anyone else first.” They stared at one another. “Are you angry?”
Ethan stepped up to her, looking deep into her eyes. “Angry? Of course not. It’s just… It’s not every day you’re hit with the happiest news of your life.”
“You want to be a dad?”
“Well, I never really thought about it, but now that it’s happening, yeah. I really do.” He kissed her, holding her so tight it could have crushed her. When he pulled back, he saw Kayla was smiling, but also started to cry. She must have been equally as thrilled.
“We should go home now…” said Kayla almost too softly to hear.
“What? Why? Are you alright? We just got here, and we were having a moment…”
“Please, I want to go home.”
Completely taken aback, but choosing to be respectful of her wishes, Ethan strapped on his backpack and they proceeded to walk back down the trail.
–––––––
Kayla had said another word the entire trip home. She was in a slightly improved mood once they arrived home. Ethan mentally noted to ask about Kayla’s silence later, but for now, he let it slide because now, he was excited.
“Do we have any plans for the rest of the day?” asked Kayla.
“I don’t. Do you?” She shook her head. “I think we should decide on a name, don’t you think?”
“A name?”
“…Yes. For the baby, remember?”
“Oh, right. Sorry, I’m kinda slow, apparently.” She paused. “Wait. We have, like, tons of time to think about it, though, right?”
Ethan shrugged. “Yeah, sure, but it’s not something you want to procrastinate. We have a baby-names book?”
“Oh yeah, because I totally keep copies of those books aro
und. Just in case I get pregnant or something.”
“You did get pregnant, though. So, now would be the time to have that stuff. Let’s go get one.”
First, they tried the nearest store, Fred Meyer, but had no luck. After that, they tried the Hallmark store at Lloyd Center Mall, with success. They came home with three books – one about expecting a child, one about raising toddlers, and of course, one full of baby names. Ethan ignored the other two completely. He closed their bedroom door and jumped on their mattress.
“Jesus. Someone’s in a hurry!” Kayla commented.
“Okay,” said Ethan, opening the names book. “And now we shall begin with … wait for it… ‘A!’”
“Oh my God! ‘A’ names? It’s like, that’s the first letter of the alphabet or something!”
“I know. Weird, right?” Ethan held up the book as they both scanned through. “How about Amanda, if it’s a girl?”
“We already have an ‘Amanda’ in the family.”
“Aaron if it’s a boy?”
“Nah.”
Ethan looked a little harder. “How about Armando?”
“No, too unusual.”
“Yeah, maybe in our country. I kinda like that name. Besides, what’s wrong with unusual?”
“I don’t want my kid to have a weird name. He’ll get laughed at. Or, she.”
“Yeah, but…” The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. “Names that are different are more… Unique. They give a person more of their own identity. We should look for a name like that. Something unique. That being said, I’d like to make it known that I’ve always wished my name was Michael.”
Kayla laughed. “Michael is the most common name out there! Plus, we already have one of those around too. You’re fucking weird, you know that?”
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