“Gone,” repeated Duggan slowly, his grip on the control rods weakening.
“Sir, you need to act, else we’ll follow the same way,” said McGlashan.
Duggan felt as if he were wading through treacle, with his thoughts slowed down to a crawl. Instead of making them easier to control, they became more elusive and swam easily away from him.
“Sir!”
“Yes, Commander, I hear you,” he said.
One part of his mind remained detached. It evaluated the possibility of recovering the stranded shuttle, rejecting the idea immediately. I must get something out of this, he thought. With a flash, he realised there was no reason he had to do so. Or maybe I need to accept this and face the consequences. Duggan had never been a man to hide. Whatever difficulties had been thrown into his path, he’d always faced them square-on. The trouble was, he now knew, none of what had gone before had remotely prepared him for this. Commander McGlashan had spoken to him about these most difficult of choices. In reality, the only choices were the ones you permitted yourself to make. There was only one option and Duggan forced himself to take it. Not for himself, but for everyone he had responsibility to command.
“Activate the fission engines,” he said. “We’re going to the Juniper.”
“Aye, Captain,” said Breeze. “They’re coming online, we’ll be able to leave in just shy of fifty seconds.”
It happened without Duggan realising it. The ES Rampage burst away from its low orbit of the planet Kidor. It left behind the wreckage of broken spaceships and an uncertainty about the missing soldiers. On the planet’s surface, the alien artefact continued to generate oxygen in vast quantities under the protection of the Dreamer battleship.
“A little less than four days until we arrive,” said Breeze. “We’re not held back by the slower warships on this run.”
“Sir?” It was Chainer. “We received a transmission via the emergency beacon on Kidor a split second before we escaped.”
“What did it say?”
“The message came from Flores. It said they found Ghasts.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.”
No one spoke on the bridge for a few hours. As their shifts ended, the crew took turns to head off for sleep. Chainer seemed to be constantly heading to and from the replicator, bringing with him a variety of grease-laden foods, coffee and cans of hi-stim. Eventually, the ozone smell of the bridge was replaced by the smell of cooked meat, interspersed with coffee and the sharp-edged tang of booster drinks. Duggan hardly noticed, so lost was he in his own thoughts.
“You should get some sleep, sir,” said McGlashan. Duggan couldn’t remember when she’d last gone for sleep either, but she looked fresh and alert.
“I don’t feel tired,” he replied, surprised at the truth of his words. He should have felt drained, when in fact he felt nothing.
“Something to eat, then.”
Duggan looked at McGlashan’s concerned face. She wasn’t going to let up until he made at least a small concession. “Very well,” he said. “I haven’t eaten in a while.”
“Good, neither have I,” she said. “I think I’ll join you.”
Duggan shook his head in mock-despair and got to his feet. He left the bridge, with McGlashan walking alongside. They continued in silence until they reached the mess room. There were a few soldiers inside – any place on a spaceship where you could get food was rarely empty. Duggan got himself a tray and ordered the replicator to produce a steak and fries, which he took over to his table. McGlashan sat opposite, with two cheeseburgers and a coke. Duggan raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t eat healthy food all the time,” she said, patting her flat stomach. “Believe me, I’d far rather be eating cheeseburgers than fruit for my lunch.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Duggan. He looked at his own stomach to reassure himself there was nothing spare and then took a bite of his steak. It was dry in his mouth at first, but then saliva flowed to let him know that his body was hungry.
McGlashan looked around furtively to make sure there was no one paying attention. “You liked Captain Jonas a lot?”
Duggan took a deep breath, aware that he’d been brought into an ambush. “I hardly knew her,” he said. McGlashan stared hard, insisting he continue. “She reminded me of what I’ve missed,” he continued. “I thought I saw this one last chance to find what the war has denied me.”
“A wife? A family?” she asked gently.
“Maybe. Not just that. Everything. So I can forget the past and move on to the future.”
“You’re tired of war?”
“Part of me wants to keep fighting forever. Another part is tired and wants a change. I sense it growing within me. All the fighting takes it from you. Each time we escape by the skin of our teeth, I feel diminished. I want to get away before there’s nothing of me left.” The words were hard to speak and Duggan focused on nothing but the voice coming from his mouth, refusing to run away from what he had to say.
“You could ask to be taken away from active duty,” she said. “Heaven knows, you’ve done your fair share on the frontline. With Admiral Slender gone, there’s no one left to hold you back. I bet Admiral Teron would have you on his team without hesitation.”
“I’m not sure I can do that,” he said. “There’s a part of me wants to see the war through to its end. We aren’t there yet.”
“You’ll never win if you keep thinking like that. What about the Dreamers? Are you going to fight until we’ve defeated them or the Confederation is wiped out? You can’t carry everything on your shoulders.”
Duggan sighed. “It feels as if that’s what I have to do. I’m not so stupid that I think I can manage, nor so untrusting that I believe I’m the only one that matters. Still, I’m driven. I can’t let go, Lucy.”
“You’re a stubborn man, John Duggan. You always have been and you always will be. It’s going to kill you in the end.” She took a deep breath. “And I don’t want to see that happen.”
He looked across and saw something in her face which he didn’t recognize. Maybe something you don’t want to recognize, said an unbidden voice. “I don’t want any of us to die,” he said lamely.
McGlashan sat back, not willing to let him wriggle off the hook. “You’ve experienced real, proper, hands-tied failure for the first time and it’s going to eat you alive if you let it.”
“The larger the stakes, the more it hurts,” he admitted. “And the stakes on Kidor were very high. I don’t so much care that we had to run away. I can’t accept that I’ve lost Ortiz, I’ve lost ships under my command and I’ve lost what I hoped was a chance at my future. A slim, remote chance, but a chance nonetheless.”
“You did your best, John - you always do. When we get back to the Juniper you need to be over this. You need to be strong, because you can be sure there’ll be hard questions to answer. An innocent man who feels guilt will hang for crimes he didn’t commit. You’re leaving yourself open to a punishment you don’t deserve.” She put her hand briefly on his and then pulled it away. She stood to leave, with half of her meal untouched. “There’s more than one future,” she said quietly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
THE ES RAMPAGE arrived at the Juniper before the other ships. Duggan found he was as fascinated as ever when he saw the slow-turning orbital on the bulkhead screen.
“The Juniper’s AIs have greeted our arrival,” said Ensign Perry. A moment later, he spoke again. “It’s Admiral Teron, sir. He wants to know how you got on.”
“Tell him our mission has failed. He can have my report when I see him.”
Perry looked nervous at the instruction, though he carried it out at once. “Admiral Teron has acknowledged the response and nothing more,” he said.
Duggan nodded to show he’d heard. “I’m bringing us closer to the Juniper and then I’ll take the shuttle. The rest of you will need to stay here until you hear otherwise.”
The ES Rampage was a lot faster than the shuttle it carried, so there
was no point in disembarking quite yet. Duggan closed the distance with the orbital at a speed which comfortably exceeded the recommended maximum. The Juniper issued several warnings, which he ignored. There were other warships in the vicinity, but there was no chance of a collision so it seemed reasonable to be as quick as possible.
The shuttle was cold and its interior light seemed too bright. Duggan climbed into the cockpit and undocked from the Rampage, feeling the emptiness of space only a few feet away from him. He set a course towards the orbital and dutifully engaged the auto-dock routines when the Juniper asked him. The approach felt needlessly slow and Duggan was relieved when a green light showed he was able to enter the airlock.
The corridors of the Juniper were busier than usual and people bustled around. A few smiled at Duggan politely as he went by, though most kept their eyes aimed at the floor, or fixed on a point somewhere in the distance. Teron wasn’t in his office and had asked to speak to Duggan in one of the orbital’s countless meeting rooms a few extra minutes’ walk away.
He arrived at the door to Meeting Room A-212 and waited. The door didn’t move. With a sigh, he pressed his palm to the security panel off to one side and the door whisked open.
“What happened, Captain Duggan?” asked Teron.
Duggan looked around very briefly, his eyes telling him at once there was nothing of interest here. It was just another meeting room with a square table in the middle, surrounded by chairs. There were a couple of screens on the wall and a series of motivational framed images dotted about the place. Teron sat upright in one of the chairs. The sheets of paper arrayed in front of him suggested he’d recently finished a meeting in the room. Duggan took a chair.
“We lost two warships, one heavy lifter and didn’t recover the pyramid, sir,” said Duggan, with a set to his jaw. “And we’ve had to leave some people behind on Kidor.”
Teron didn’t say anything for a while, his grizzled face giving nothing away. “What went wrong?” he said at last.
“We were outgunned, sir. We engaged another Dreamer warship. Nukes work on their energy shields, but without targeting it comes down to luck. We destroyed that one only because of a brave woman’s sacrifice. Then another arrived and I ordered our ships to retreat. Before the Rampage could escape, the Goliath came out of lightspeed and the enemy destroyed it.”
“Could you have done anything differently?”
Duggan had thought about the answer to that very same question for much of the voyage to the Juniper. The mission had gone wrong from the outset – they’d lacked firepower, technology and had emerged from lightspeed scattered too far apart.
“There’s always another way, sir. The way I chose didn’t work out. I don’t think we’d have succeeded whatever choices I’d made.”
Duggan had a patchy knowledge of Teron’s background. Some he’d guessed, some he’d learned from other sources. On top of that, he had his own opinions about the Admiral. On this day, Teron impressed Duggan greatly.
“Our best isn’t always good enough, Captain Duggan. Some of us learn that early on, some of us learn it later. In all my years in the Space Corps, I’ve not yet met a man who lasted as long as you have. If you accept what’s happened, you’ll come out stronger for it. If you don’t accept it, there’s nothing that can save you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Your mission went wrong. I’m sure I’ll learn the details later. The Space Corps needs you, Captain Duggan. Are you ready to carry on?”
Duggan met Admiral Teron’s eye and saw the steel that underpinned the person. “Yes, sir. I’m ready to carry on.”
“I didn’t expect anything else. Now, we have things to discuss. The information you brought back last time has been the cause of much head-scratching, particularly your report about the dead Ghast in the alien pyramid.”
“We received a transmission just as we were leaving Kidor, sir. We found an emergency beacon from the Bulldozer’s crew and sent a shuttle to look for them. The message from our soldiers told us they’d found Ghasts.”
“Nothing more specific?”
“No. The message was incomplete and we weren’t able to wait any longer, so I can’t tell you more than I have.”
“As it happens, I believe you. There are lots who don’t believe or simply don’t want to believe. However, the legions of stats and predictions analysts we employ have decided that there are avenues we should investigate.”
“What avenues, exactly?”
“Naturally, we are concerned at the possibilities of a Ghast-Dreamer alliance. Also, we are concerned that we lack enough information to make an educated guess at other possibilities.”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“If you think about it, we know nothing about the Ghasts. Equally, we know absolutely nothing about the Dreamers. Therefore, in our ignorance, we are unable to see other reasons for what you encountered. I’ve heard this referred to as unknown unknowns.”
“What reasons could there be other than an alliance?” asked Duggan.
Teron smiled grimly. “I wish I knew. I always search for logic, Captain Duggan. Even amongst chaos, I am convinced I will find order. Everything we know contradicts itself, leading to a never-ending circle of what-ifs. There are occasions when I fail in my search, but I never give up looking.”
Duggan nodded, hearing a description of himself in Teron’s words. “Have you found anything yet, sir?”
Teron snorted with laughter. “Would that I had! The questions haunt my every waking minute and pursue me into sleep. Amongst it, one thing keeps returning. I ask myself why the Ghasts were so interested in the pyramid and wouldn’t tell you the reason.”
“I haven’t found an answer to that either,” said Duggan. “However much I’ve thought about it.”
“It doesn’t seem right. One minute they wanted you to leave the artefact, the next they destroyed it themselves. It appeared as if they were willing to return to war over it.”
“I’m certain it was a possibility.”
“I gave these snippets to some of our best statistical analysts. And you know what? They believe there’s something significant behind it – not merely a result of an uncertain situation.”
“How significant do they mean?”
“Enough that we have to find an answer, Captain Duggan. We’re working on something. As it happens, we were already intending to use this particular resource for something else, yet a new opportunity has arisen.”
“Can you explain, sir?”
“Not at the moment, I can’t. I’m awaiting clearance. The ability to use this resource is also contingent on the progress of the peace negotiations we’re in the middle of.”
Duggan was curious and wary in equal measures. He was aware of the need for secrets, yet he’d fallen foul of them before. With a humourless smile, he reminded himself it was the secrets that weren’t even hinted about which were the ones to be most careful of. Here, Teron was talking openly about the existence of a secret, without giving away the details. Let’s see where this one goes, thought Duggan.
“Are you telling me there’s another mission?”
“Not quite yet. There’s a chance it’ll happen.” Teron sighed. “You’re a good man, Duggan and I don’t want to lie to you. Suffice to say, if my plans become an option, you’re the man I’d like to bring them to fruition. I’ll also tell you it’s something you won’t like one little bit.”
“I appreciate the honesty, sir.”
“No, don’t say that. I’m not being honest, am I? An honest man would tell you exactly what is required.”
Duggan laughed. “Fine, in that case I’ll amend my last sentence to ‘I understand the need for secrets’, if that sounds better.”
Teron smiled. “That suits me.”
“If there are no plans ready and there is nothing to tell me, what am I assigned to in the meantime?”
“Something I’m sure you’ll like far less than what I have in mind.”
“Desk du
ty?”
“I’m afraid so. The Space Corps requires a full and comprehensive report of what happened on Kidor. Every encounter with the Dreamers gives us valuable insights and – believe it or not – has an immediate effect on the direction our weapons research takes. We’re making progress. It might not seem quick when you’re out there launching missiles without guidance systems, but I can assure you we’re making some incredible breakthroughs. It also helps that you brought us an example of the Ghast Shatterer launch tubes and some of their missiles. It’s much easier to copy than to build from scratch.”
Duggan was heartened by the words. He could read from Teron’s animated body language that the Admiral truly believed what he was saying. “If our targeting systems were better, that would make the difference.”
“We’ve got more than one hundred thousand people working on that aspect of our weapons design alone. One hundred thousand, Captain Duggan. We’ll get there. Anyway, I didn’t bring you here to talk about that. A man like you can find out the details if he’s determined enough. I want you to leave for the Atican shipyard on Pioneer. Take the ES Rampage, since I believe it needs a few minor repairs which they have the capacity to accomplish.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll leave at once and wait until I hear further.” He hesitated. “What will happen to the soldiers on Kidor?”
“I can’t promise you anything. You know if we send more ships, more troops, they’ll be killed?”
“Yes, sir, that seems the probable outcome.”
“If they’re in their spacesuits, they have a few months yet. Leave me to think on the matter,” said Teron. “Dismissed.”
Duggan was almost to the door when he asked a question he’d meant bring up earlier in the conversation. “What about the samples of the power source we brought back from Trasgor, sir? I thought they were more important than anything.”
“They are. We’ve missed this opportunity to capture an intact Dreamer power core. If another one arises, we’ll try again.”
This time, the meeting room door slid open automatically. Duggan exited the room and retraced his footsteps until he reached the shuttle. It was exactly where he’d left it. He boarded the craft and piloted it away from the Juniper. A short time later, he was back on the ES Rampage, relieved, yet with no idea what the future had in store for him.
Chains of Duty (Survival Wars Book 3) Page 18