Maybe I’m the only one who’s supposed to survive. The one who finishes the mission. I jerked to my feet. No. No. That can’t be the plan.
“Time to build a snow shelter,” I said.
Yates grabbed my hand. “You know you have to leave me.”
I tore mine away. He can’t possibly know what I’m thinking. “I won’t abandon you.”
“I can’t walk. I can’t even crawl. You can’t drag me for ten miles.”
“But the feds could show up here in a few hours.” Think about it. They’ll kill you.
Yates stared at me with his one good eye. “It’s all right. I know you love me. But if you stay, it’s double suicide.”
I pushed down on the hanging that was tourniquet tight around my chest. Go and I might save lives. Go and I could pass on the hanging and Maggie’s death wouldn’t be a waste. Go and I sacrifice Yates.
“I hate this,” I said.
“I do, too.”
Me staying was pointless. Romantic and loyal and totally pointless when I’d only end up dead or in prison. “I’m not going for me—”
“You don’t have to say it. I know.”
I leaned over and brushed the hair away from his forehead, and gently kissed it. There weren’t words inside me to say what I felt.
“The moon’ll be up in another hour or two,” Yates said. “You could rest. Wait until then.”
“Yeah, but now,” I said, dragging myself to my feet, “I’ve got to build that snow shelter.”
It was harder than I thought, digging a trench big enough for Yates to move around in. And sawing through pine branches and weaving them into a roof over his head sucked away most of my strength. By the time I’d packed snow over the top and wedged a flour sack filled with snow into the opening to make a door, I wondered how I could make it all the way to the highway.
I lit an eight-hour candle and set it on a tiny shelf. One candle could keep you from freezing or at least that was what Luke had promised us.
The shelter walls glowed pale gold in the candlelight. Inside this cocoon, we couldn’t hear gunshots.
“I’m really tired,” I told Yates.
“Then lie down,” he said. “I’ll wake you in an hour.”
Before I went to sleep I put Maggie’s gun where I could reach it, and placed the clip next to it. I curled into Yates, careful not to touch his injured side. He wrapped his good arm over me.
I won’t let you die alone. I’ll bring back help.
94
Someone’s out there. My eyes flashed open, but my brain was a couple steps behind. Yates lay beside me.
The eight-hour candle had burned to a stub. What time is it?
“Hey, you in there. You okay?”
The man’s voice chilled me right through. I felt for Maggie’s gun and, fumbling, shoved the clip in place.
The agents found our trail. They followed us. “Yates. Yates, wake up,” I whispered, but he barely stirred.
We’re trapped. I put on a headlamp and blew out the candle. Aimed the gun at the sounds outside. I’m not going down without a fight. My hands shook, and I couldn’t breathe, the gun was so heavy.
A shovel broke through the snow. My heart jumped into my throat.
“Hey, anybody home?”
The snow door pulled away, and a guy’s face filled the opening. I cocked the trigger, and he spun away from the door. It was still night out.
“Whoa! I’m going. Don’t mind me. I was just checking to see if you’re hurt.”
I trapped him in my headlamp. “Put your gun down!”
“Gun’s on the sled.” He was backing away with his hands up. He had on a beat-up parka made out of animal skins and a sled team waited below.
“Don’t move.”
“Listen, I’m going,” he said. “No need to point that at me.”
I crawled out of the shelter, my heart pounding. The guy towered over me. One kick to the head and I’d be dead.
I stood up and faced him, my hands shaking. This was a real live human being and either he’d been sent out to track us down and execute us, or he was a Good Samaritan who’d stumbled on us in the middle of the night.
Good Samaritan. What were the chances of that?
A dog started to whine and the man turned his head. “Quiet, Gracie.”
The headlamp beam lit his braided beard. A fed would never wear that parka or a beard like that—not unless he was undercover. This guy could be telling the truth. “Who are you?”
“My name’s Spoke.”
“Are you a fed?”
“No, I promise. No government ties whatsoever.” The man inched toward his sled.
The sled looked familiar. “Are you from Salvation?
“Yeah, I’m headed back there.”
“Don’t. It’s under attack.”
“Yeah, I know. I saw it on the news.”
“The news?”
“Yeah, saw the footage in a bar of those bastards taking out Maggie and then the shoot-out at the church.”
“People saw?”
“Hell, yeah! Didn’t you hear the news choppers?”
“No. Are they—is it over?”
“Shooting stopped once the local officials showed up.”
Oh, my God, we did it. “Yates, we did it!”
“Hey, are you the girl who sent out the distress call?”
“Yeah, that was me.”
“Damn. You need anything?”
“Can you help us? My friend’s hurt. I need to get him to a hospital.”
“Sure, I can do that. Closest one’s probably Boise. But maybe you could put that gun down?”
Spoke picked up the shovel, and with short, brisk strokes, began to dig Yates out while I tore the snow away with my hands.
“You two are heroes,” Spoke said. “I’m telling you, the President’s going to have to answer for this. I bet both him and Jouvert are gonna find themselves impeached. Gunning down innocent Americans like enemy combatants—”
My heart stopped. Americans? “No. Wait. How many died? Do you have any names?”
Spoke stopped digging. He leaned on the shovel and bowed his head. “There were two bodies outside the church,” he said quietly.
I saw the white surrender flag settle over Maggie’s body. “One was Maggie and the other—” The last bars of a love song echoed in my head. “It was Barnabas, wasn’t it?”
Spoke nodded. “Had his arms around her when he died. Twenty years, and he never got that woman out of his blood.”
I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. “And what about inside the church?”
Spoke went back to digging. “Looks like the agents didn’t get inside. You saved a lot of lives tonight. You should take comfort in that.”
Luke, Beattie, Keisha, and everyone else. They were alive.
The roof I’d woven of pine branches appeared from under the snow. Spoke tore them off, and together we lifted Yates onto the sled. He was half conscious and we tied him down, wrapped in the sleeping bags. I kissed the side of his face that wasn’t bruised. “Spoke’s going to take you to the hospital.”
Yates was struggling to keep his eyes open, fighting to talk through the pain. “If you want to try for the border, it’s okay,” he said. “I can meet up with you in a few weeks.”
I felt the thumb drive dangling between my breasts. It was going to take longer than a few weeks to put Yates back together, and it seemed as if my plans had changed. “No, I think I’d better stick around for now.”
I kissed him lightly on the lips.
“Love you,” he said, his voice failing.
“Love you.” Always and forever.
“Sun’ll be up in a couple hours,” Spoke said. “You can wait here, or you can follow the sled tracks. Either I’ll come back or I’ll send someone for you.”
Spoke gave the command and the dogs took off. I watched the sled sail over the snow, leaving me alone in the silent night. Slowly, I gathered the equipment together and
drank tea and ate some bread before I pulled on my pack.
The moon was huge and the sled tracks were so clear I didn’t need a headlamp.
I wasn’t going to sit there and wait to be rescued.
I strapped on the snowshoes and walked, knowing exactly where I was going and, for the first time maybe in my life, knowing who I was. I was Fearless.
Discussion Questions
1. At the beginning of the book, Avie thinks she is going to go to college and perhaps fall in love. How has falling in love been changed by the Scarpanol disaster?
2. Avie’s father surprises her by “Contracting” her into marriage. Why does he do it? Do you think he was right or wrong?
3. Avie thinks she has no choice but to honor the “Contract” and marry Jessop Hawkins, but Ms. Alexandra tells her she has several options. What choices does Avie have and which would you choose?
4. Avie’s father keeps tabs on her in many ways. How does he monitor what she does? How would you feel about living like that?
5. Why do you think the Paternalists came to power? They say they want to protect American women. Do you think that is true or is it a lie?
6. How do you think American men have been affected by the loss of their wives, daughters, sisters, aunts or mothers?
7. Yates, Father Gabriel, Sparrow and Maggie Stanton help the resistance in their own ways. Why did each join the movement and how do their reasons differ?
8. Father Gabriel tells Avie that even though the country’s leaders are “playing chess with girls’ lives.… someone else whispers the moves as they play.” What do you think he means by this?
9. As Avie disappears into Exodus, she is shocked that the Underground isn’t the way Father Gabriel described. What big surprises does she have to deal with?
10. Avie’s classmate, Sparrow, decides to set herself on fire on the steps of the Capitol building. Why does she do this? Are there things we don’t know about her?
11. At what point does Avie decide to support the revolution? What motivates her?
12. Avie volunteers to go for help during the armed siege in Salvation. Why does she do it? What would you do?
13. At the beginning of the book, Avie says, “I’m not fearless, but I loved how he called me that.” At the end, she says, “I am fearless.” How has she changed?
14. What do you believe will happen to Avie next?
15. The author wanted to write a book that when people finished reading it, they would say, “I think that could really happen.” What parts of the story feel real to you? What do you feel might happen if the U.S. lost a large number of women?
To connect with Catherine Linka, like her Facebook page, facebook.com/CatherineLinkaAuthor, and follow her on Twitter, @cblinka.
For more reading group suggestions, visit www.readinggroupgold.com.
A Girl Called Fearless Page 32