“I will. Soon.”
Kat kept her lips sealed. It was difficult keeping her thoughts to herself these days. She wanted things back to where they were before. No, that wasn’t true. She wanted to go back in time, and tell Justin the truth from the very beginning. If only she’d been less of a coward.
“It’s difficult, you know.”
So much for biting her tongue.
A frown creased his forehead but didn’t say anything. Kat pressed on, summoning her inner diva. “Having this distance from you is worse torture than not being able to touch you. Or have you touch me.”
Hot sparks flashed in his eyes. Good. She’d hit a nerve. Finally. “Sheesh, Kat. Don’t you think this is killing me, too? It’s eating me alive. It’s just too much, all at once. There’s too many lies between us. Torture goes both ways.”
“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” she asked. “It means we still care about each other?”
Their gazes locked and held for a few beats. She was teetering on the edge here, hoping he wouldn’t push her over.
Then his jaw clamped tight and he shook his head. “Leave it alone for now, Kat. If you’re going to visit Mattie today, you should go. I’ll take care of Connor while you’re gone. When does he get his next bottle?”
Her hope vanished. It was hard keeping her voice light and breezy. The only thing that helped was looking at Connor’s smiling face as he played in the baby bouncer. “In an hour. It’s ready in the fridge. Just take it out ten minutes before, like you always do, to take the chill off.”
He nodded with more enthusiasm now. He couldn’t wait to be rid of her. “Got it.”
“Okay,” she offered softly. “I’ll be going now.”
She moved toward Connor, bent to kiss his cheek and whispered, “Be good for your daddy.”
Feet planted, knees bent, Connor sprang up again. His baby laughter filled all the holes in her heart but one. That one only Justin could repair.
* * *
The house was lonely in the mornings. She missed being with Justin. She missed cooking him breakfast, and having him make French roast coffee for her. They’d lived that way for only a few days, but those days had been magical.
“That’s what love does to you, sweet baby,” she said to Connor in his crib. He tried a few times to stand up and then plopped back down. She smiled. “Makes you believe in magic.”
She tied her pink cotton terry bathrobe around her waist and put her cold feet in her slippers. Even though it was still only late fall, there was a winter chill in the air and she shivered. If it were up to her, she’d have eighty-degree days every day. “Let’s go get the newspaper,” she said.
She wrapped Connor up in his blanket, plucked him off the crib mattress and marched the short steps down the porch to a patch of dirt where today’s copy of the Douglas County Sentinel lay. Rural living meant no newspapers delivered on the penthouse doormat but she didn’t miss the high life as much as she thought she would.
A crisp, cool wind followed her inside the house and she closed the door. “Wow, that’s cold. Brrr,” she said to Connor. “Momma’s gonna put you in thermals today right after we eat.”
The thermostat cranked up the heat in the house as she made Connor breakfast. His breakfast today was creamed oatmeal mixed with pureed pears. Mixing a little sweet with the healthy went a long way.
Her cell phone rang as she spooned the last bite into his mouth.
She wiped his oatmeal mustache away with a napkin and answered on the third ring.
“Hi, Kat. This is Audrey.”
Kat glanced at the clock. Seven in the morning was kind of early for a social call. Audrey Thomas was usually tending the animals at this hour of the day. “Hi, Audrey. It’s great to hear from you. How are you feeling? Everything good with the baby?”
“I’m feeling fine. Baby’s doing yoga inside my belly.”
“It’s a wonderful feeling. I remember those flutters and waves of movement. Just wait until he does karate in there.”
“Uh...Kat, I’m sorry to have to tell you this.” Suddenly, Audrey’s voice turned somber. “Last night one of the reporters from Insider Buzz flew into town and sort of ambushed Justin for an interview. He was caught off guard outside the ranch gates. Apparently, the reporter recognized you from that LLL show and asked Justin about his relationship with you. The guy was a real sleaze. He’d dug into your past and all Justin would tell us was that the questions were not flattering to you.”
She took a sharp breath. “Oh, no.”
“Justin was furious with the guy. There was a shouting match and Justin threatened to toss the guy back to New York on his ass. Oh, Kat, I’m sorry to say, there’s a story on the Insider Buzz website and an article about the altercation between Justin and the reporter in the Sentinel this morning.”
“The Sentinel?” She slid a glance at the newspaper on the table. “Is it...horrible?”
“No, I wouldn’t say horrible, but there’s speculation about Justin being Connor’s real father. It lays out some fine points that aren’t disputable, putting Justin in New York at the time of Connor’s conception and mentioning rumors that the baby looks just like him. There’s a bit about your relationship with Michael Golden, too.”
“Oh, Audrey...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Michael. It was a time in my life I didn’t want to dredge up. I’ve made...mistakes.”
“It’s okay, Kat. You don’t owe me an explanation. But how do you think a reporter from New York found out about you and Justin?”
“Logan’s wedding was at the Golden Hotel. We were together there and well...the next day I saw Michael. It was rotten timing—he was coming as I was going and we talked briefly.”
“That six degrees of separation thing?”
“Maybe. Either the reporter really did his homework or Michael was behind leaking some information. I can only guess what terrible things were written.”
“The Slades’ phone has been ringing off the hook. Justin asked me to call you to explain.”
“Oh, wow. He’s doing my damage control.” Tears stung her eyes. Her life had just gotten messier and now she was dragging Justin’s good name down.
“I haven’t lived here long, but I do know gossip travels fast,” Audrey said.
Her heart dipped down to her stomach. “Aunt Mattie?”
“If she’s got friends in Silver Springs, the grapevine will reach her.”
“Oh, no. I’ve got to talk to her. I’ve got to explain everything.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Good luck and give little Connor a hug for me.”
Kat pushed the button to end the call and her phone clicked off. Hesitating, she stared at the copy of the Sentinel on the table and scolded herself for not being braver. Take a look. See what was written about you. The chicken in her didn’t want to pick up the newspaper. The chicken in her wanted to pretend this never happened.
Putting her phone down, she turned to the high chair. “Uppie arms,” she said to her son. He waved his hands high in the air and she was quick about sliding the high chair tray off. Then she lifted Connor out of the seat, poured him a bottle of formula and set him down in his play yard. “Drink your bottle, sweet boy. While Mommy...” She gulped. “While Mommy sees what all the fuss is about.”
Picking up the newspaper, she plopped onto the sofa and opened it, turning the pages until she found the headline: War Hero Doing Battle at Home. She scanned the article quickly; it was just as Audrey had described.
She went into her sewing room, steeling her jumpy nerves as she opened her laptop and went to the Insider Buzz website.
The first thing she saw when she clicked on the article were two photos that took up about a quarter of the screen. The first had been taken at a charity gala when she was seven months pregnant. Her
belly protruded from the silver satin gown she was wearing. She remembered how Michael had proudly told her she looked elegantly pregnant that night.
Then she scanned down to the second picture. It was a shot of Justin in full dress uniform—white gloves, white cap and all. Photo credit was given to the web archives of Medal of Honor recipients.
She did a quick read of the article. “Bleached-blonde social climber” stuck to her like Scotch tape, while Justin was described as a decorated war hero and Michael Golden as the injured party in their broken engagement.
Mortified, she bit back tears as she realized her entire pitiful life, minus anything that would paint her in a good light, was out there for all the world to see now.
She was only glad that no one had figured out the whole truth about Connor yet, and Matilda Applegate’s name had not been mentioned in the article. But that didn’t mean Aunt Mattie wouldn’t hear about this or worse yet, read it herself. She’d find out from a gossipy neighbor or a well-meaning friend that Kat hadn’t been entirely truthful with her. She’d find out about her engagement to Michael Golden and hear speculation regarding Justin’s role in her life.
She tried to rein in the tears dripping down her cheeks as best she could. Connor shouldn’t see her sobbing. He didn’t need to see his mommy’s grief over how she’d made a mess of things and the people she loved were being hurt.
One thing she knew for sure: she had to tell Aunt Mattie the truth. And she prayed it wouldn’t send her back into cardiac arrest.
Or worse.
* * *
Justin kept a watchful eye on the rearview mirror, making sure he wasn’t being followed. He had something to do. Something he should have done months ago. It was time for all of the truths to come out. Today, he was going to set his life to rights. No more secrets, no more lies.
He steered his truck through the gates of Silver Haven Cemetery and parked by the Tombstones of Soldiers monument. Climbing down from the cab of his truck, he didn’t hesitate. His boots hit gravel as he moved to the grassy area, reading one tombstone after another. He should’ve guessed Brett’s headstone would be the shiny new one, the one that wasn’t ravaged by inclement weather and time. It felt odd, being here, about to talk to his friend this way. But he needed to wipe the slate clean. It would take a few swipes and today he was determined to see it through.
Removing his hat, he knelt on both knees. He no longer held back the tears. Unexpected relief came as they ran down his cheeks. He opened his mouth and the words he’d rehearsed over and over in his head flowed freely.
“Hello, buddy...I’ve got a few things to tell you. Now, it’d be too darn weird if you had something to tell me back, so don’t spook me. Let me get this off my chest. First off, I miss you. The world isn’t a better place without you. I’m sorry you’re not here. For months I’ve beat myself up about my decision that day. I wish I could go back in time and piss you off royally. I should’ve kept you in the infirmary, out of action. You weren’t fit for duty and I should’ve second-guessed myself. If I had, you’d be back on your farm again with your aunt Mattie. She’s a kick in the pants, by the way. I’ve come to know her and she’s as great as you said. I’m doing my best to protect her. In fact, I’m going to see her today, pay her a little visit. Oh, and there’s one more thing I wanted to tell you. I’ve got a son. A sweet little boy named Connor. Man, I’m so thankful I lost that bet to you, you have no idea....”
* * *
Pungent scents of alcohol, medicine and sickness filled Kat’s nostrils as she sat on the edge of Aunt Mattie’s bed. The older woman’s hands were small and fragile in her grasp. Mattie’s skin was soft as butter though.
The Silver Springs rehab center was a halfway house for the infirm, but it was no royal palace. Aunt Mattie needed to get out of this place—the sooner, the better.
“I’m sorry about all of this, Aunt Mattie. Really, I am.”
The Sentinel lay across the bedspread, open wide to Kat’s personal living obituary. At least it felt that way to her, when she’d carefully explained the circumstances of Connor’s birth and read the entire article to Aunt Mattie.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Everything in that article about me is t-true.” Heavens, this was hard. A biting chill raced up and down her spine. Mattie’s welfare was at stake. Kat wouldn’t protect herself by easing up on her confession. Mattie needed to hear the truth from her lips. “I didn’t try very hard to find Brett, I’ll admit that to you. I didn’t want to be tied to a hog farmer from a small town. In my mind, I’d come too far and I didn’t want to backtrack. Michael doesn’t know about Brett’s bet with Justin so that part wasn’t printed in the article. Thank God. Could you imagine if Connor found out how I met his father—how he was conceived—in a newspaper article when he grew up? But the rest is true about me, Aunt Mattie. I did do all those things. I wanted to provide a good life for Connor but I went about it the wrong way.”
“Oh, dear girl, it’s a lot for me to take in,” Aunt Mattie said.
“I know. I’m sorry, Aunt Mattie. Please don’t be upset. We, Justin and I, were afraid of your reaction when you found out. We didn’t want you to get hurt. I was terribly afraid that if you knew the truth about Connor, you would have another health scare.”
Mattie smiled for the first time today. “You thought I’d have another heart attack.”
Slumping on the bed, Kat whispered, “Yes. I’m still terrified of that.”
“Don’t be scared. I’m not as fragile as I appear.” Mattie squeezed Kat’s hand hard to prove her point.
“I was stunned, angry and frustrated when I found out that Justin was Connor’s real father. For almost two years of my life, I’d lived one lie, only to find out I’d really been living another. I can only imagine how hurt you are, learning that Connor isn’t, isn’t...”
“I love that boy. Nothing will change that, Kat.”
“I know you do. You have to b-believe me....” Her voice cracked with a sob. “When I came to Silver Springs, I really did believe Brett was Connor’s father. I didn’t know anything about his bet with Justin Slade until he showed up that day.” Kat sighed. “We’ve really made a mess of things.”
“Not so much of a mess,” Aunt Mattie said. Hinging forward on the bed, she released Kat’s hand. “You see, I have a confession to make too.” She paused and rubbed her temple. “I’ve always sort of known that Connor wasn’t Brett’s boy. In my head, that is. In my heart, Connor will always be mine.”
Air puffed out of her lungs. What was she saying? Kat wasn’t sure she heard right. “What do you mean?”
“My Brett was built like his uncle, solid and wide. He had reddish-brown hair and freckles across his nose. His eyes were bluer than mine. Connor looks nothing like him. So I had my suspicions. Then I went into my pack of old letters from Brett and found one where he spoke about a bet he’d won with his commanding officer. They’d switched identities for one weekend in New York. Brett had a great time going to movies and eating in expensive restaurants by himself. He never mentioned a woman. When Justin came knocking on my door and introduced himself, I got a chance to see him up close next to Connor. That boy is the spitting image of his daddy.”
Kat’s mouth dropped open. She hadn’t expected this. “Why didn’t you say something to me?”
Aunt Mattie pulled the material of her bed robe tighter. “If my suspicions were correct, I figured you’d tell me when the time was right.”
“But you invited me to stay with you. To live at your house even when you weren’t sure I was telling the truth.”
A warm beam of light brightened her eyes. “Honey, I took one look at you and that little angel standing on my doorstep, and knew you needed my help. My goodness, I’ve lived a long, long time. I know despair when I see it. You needed me. And I wasn’t about to turn you away.” Aunt Mattie l
eaned back against the pillows on her bed. Immediately, Kat rose to straighten them out and fluff them to make her more comfortable.
“There, you see,” she said. “You’ve come into my life and only made it better. You’re always helping me.”
“I lied to you.”
“To protect me.”
“I’m not a good person.”
Her eyes lifted to the ceiling. “Dear Ralph. Are you hearing this? You’ve seen her goodness. You’ve seen Kat help me with the cooking and cleaning. You’ve seen her make sure I take my medications on time. You’ve seen her work into the night to earn her keep. And Ralph, I swear to you, if there’s a better mother in the entire world, I’ve not met her.”
Aunt Mattie’s gaze lowered to meet Kat’s eyes. “Not only do I love Connor,” she said, her gravelly voice smooth and silky now, “but I love you, too, Kat. You’re like a daughter to me.”
Warmth and joy ran laps inside Kat’s body and she couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “Oh, Aunt Mattie. I love you, too.”
Kat put her arms around Brett’s aunt and hugged her carefully. Moments ticked by as Kat counted her blessings and good fortune in meeting Mattie Applegate.
“I’m so glad everything is out in the open,” Kat said softly into Mattie’s ear. “But I want you to know Connor will always be your great-nephew. You will always have a place with us. You are part of our family.”
“That makes an old woman very happy. No heart attacks today for me.”
Kat squeezed her tighter. “You promise?”
“I can surely promise you that.”
* * *
Justin stood behind the partition in Mattie’s rehab room listening to her to talking to Kat. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop but he also didn’t want to barge in on their private conversation, so he stood quietly waiting for the right moment. He’d heard every word Kat had spoken and now his boots propelled him forward and he stepped past the hospital curtain. “Hello.”
The Secret Heir of Sunset Ranch Page 16