by Avril Ashton
Scars and Secrets
(Loose Ends #1)
By
Avril Ashton
Sinner’s Haven Publishing
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
http://avrilashton.com
Scars and Secrets Copyright ©2016 Avril Ashton
Cover Design Copyright ©2016 Jay Aheer/Simply Defined Art: http://www.jayscoversbydesign.com/
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher. Unauthorized or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.
All product/brand names mentioned herein are registered trademarks of their respective holders/companies.
After an undercover assignment that changed his life forever, FBI agent Donovan Cintron is barely hanging on to sanity. His new mission is to forget, by any means necessary, so he tries his hardest. Pills. Booze. The warm bodies that never quite measure up to what he’d had. What he’d lost. It’s almost a relief when he learns his identity might be compromised—except he’s not the only one exposed. So is the husband he hasn’t stopped needing all these years later. He’d been aching to die, but for Levi Nieto, Donovan will live. To protect. To regret. To remember.
The realization that everything he loved was a farce sent Levi Nieto spinning out of control, and running away from the memories. Now Donovan is back in his life, still fully entrenched in darkness. Their physical connection is one thing, but the truth of who they are to each other remains trapped among the anger, violence and lies suffocating them. Fixing what’s broken will take more than each man exposing his scars. Secrets—and blood—must be spilled.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to my husband for giving me this, and for loving me, despite that selfish thing I’ve got going.
Robin, Natalie, and Marie Fabros.
Jay for the cover,
and
Lissa Matthews. Just because.
Dedicated to YOU
For waiting
For reading
For giving me that push when I really wanted to stay where I had fallen, flat on my face.
Prologue
That was then…
The checkout line at the grocery store moved, and Levi Nieto stepped forward. The person behind him did as well, bumping into Levi and jostling him so hard the phone fell from his loose grip and onto the supermarket floor. The back of the tiny device came off, and the battery popped out.
“Fuck.” Levi dropped the basket and fell to his knees, scrambling to pick up the damn thing before people stepped on it and killed it completely.
“I’m so sorry,” a deep voice said then someone dressed in all black dropped next to him. “I didn’t see you there.”
“What the hell, man?” Levi jerked his head up, ready to blast the guy for not paying attention. Eyes the color of cappuccino framed by dark lashes blinked down at him, stealing his words. “Uh…” Oh damn. What was he saying?
“Here.” The guy held out something, and Levi dragged his gaze from the dimple in the stranger’s left cheek to his hand. The phone battery.
“Thank you.” He grabbed the thing and focused his attention on what he should have been doing, making sure his phone was all right, not ogling the delicious man decked out in jeans and leather who sat back on his haunches on the stupid supermarket floor, gazing up at Levi like he was waiting for something.
“Next!” The cashier barked the word, and Levi reached for the basket he’d discarded. Delicious Dude picked it up before Levi could and got to his feet.
“I’m sorry again.” His voice was really deep. Damn. Levi liked that cadence a lot, but he simply jerked a nod and marched up to the cashier eying him with that irritated gaze of hers.
As she rang up his items, he put the phone back together and turned it on. The screen had the tiniest crack, but he ignored it and the overwhelming presence of Delicious Dude behind him. The phone powered up to the lock screen then died.
“Crap.”
“Mind if I help?”
Why wouldn’t Delicious Dude go away? His voice kept hitting Levi in his lower belly, making his toes curl. Shit. He handed over the phone just as the cashier told him his total. Swiping the credit card, he made sure to keep an eye on the guy holding his phone.
Am I drooling?
Levi shifted as his dick tried making its presence known against the placket of his jeans.
“I think you’re all set.” The guy handed Levi back his phone with a small smile that was almost shy. The dimple winked at Levi, making him sweat.
Levi took the phone, careful not to let his hand and the other man’s touch. He just might come at that. He tested the phone, made sure it did indeed work, and sighed in relief. “Thanks.”
Massive shoulders shifted when Delicious Dude shrugged. “Least I could do, right?” He chuckled and Levi followed suit. Their eyes met, and the heated interest in the other man’s stare choked off Levi’s mirth.
Damn it, Delicious Dude was into him. Levi turned quickly, giving the guy his back, and picked up the two shopping bags containing his stuff. Shoving the phone into his jeans pocket, and with one last look over his shoulder, he left.
Later than night
Levi sat in a booth at a local club, watching his best friend, Gia, devour French fries dripping with some kind of ketchup, ranch and barbecue sauce concoction. He nursed a bottle of water while music pounded all around them.
The club wasn’t packed, and he nodded at a few familiar faces as people milled around him. There wasn’t much time to go clubbing or to date anymore. If he were honest he’d also admit he had no zeal or itch to get out there, but he couldn’t stay locked up inside his place without venturing outside once in a while to feel the sun on his face. Thank God for Gia who reminded him they both still had a life outside of their roles as parents.
He took a drink of water, gaze straying over the place. A man walked out of the corridor leading to the bathrooms and headed to the bar. Levi narrowed his gaze. Something about the man was familiar. He couldn’t see the guy’s face, but there was just something… The guy picked up the beer the bartender placed in front of him and swung around on the bar stool, facing the crowd as he brought the bottle to his lips.
Levi gasped. The hard-on he’d tamed in the shower earlier came back, full aching force.
“What?” Gia asked.
Levi turned to her. “Guy at the bar, black leather jacket, beer in hand.”
She didn’t turn her head, but her gaze swept the room before stopping at the bar. Her eyebrows rose sky-high. “Yum.”
“That’s him,” Levi told her in a stage whisper. He’d called her when he got home from the grocery store, told her all about the stranger he’d met in line.
A frown creased her forehead. “Him who?” Then understanding dawned. “Oh!” She looked at Delicious Dude again. “You’re right. He is delicious.”
“Right?” Levi faced the bar again just as the guy looked his way. Their eyes met and awareness lit the other man’s eyes and sizzled under Levi’s skin.
“Oh hell.” Gia nudged him. “He’s got you in his sights.”
“Shut up,” he spoke. He couldn’t break eye contact. Why was it so hard to look away?
“Quit eye fucking him, and just ask him to dance.”
Levi broke the stare off to glare at Gia. She
shrugged, unapologetic, and he went back to gazing at the guy giving him the “let’s get naked and sweaty” eye from over by the bar.
He didn’t come out to pick anybody up. This was his and Gia’s night. He wasn’t going to abandon her for a stranger, no matter how delicious he looked. Mm. On closer inspection, Dude exuded a dangerous vibe, which should be another tick in the con column. Levi had never been one to flirt with danger.
He sipped his water, more to wet his throat than anything else. Gia’s lips moved and he rolled his eyes.
“Will you stop?” He squared his shoulders and leaned forward. “I’m not leaving you alone for a minute.”
“Even if I order you to leave me alone and go dance with him?”
“I don’t dance.” He shrugged. All right, so he could move if he absolutely had to, but he wasn’t a fan of dancing. Unless it was between some sheets. Which sent his gaze right back to stripping Dark and Dangerous at the bar. Damn.
The guy stood up, his body unfolding all slow and shit.
“Fuck.” Levi hurriedly swallowed his water when the stranger began walking over to their table. “Oh God. He’s coming over.” The crowd on the dance floor parted for Tall, Dark and Sexy, and he strode through like Levi was a prize he had all intentions on winning.
“Damn,” Gia whispered in his ear. “That’s a live one.”
Levi meant to respond, but Cutie stopped at their table and words simply disintegrated.
“Hi. Again.” The guy lifted his voice louder over the music as he glanced from Levi to Gia and back.
Levi made a sound in the back of his throat.
“Don’t mind him.” Gia waved Cutie into a seat. “He gets tongue-tied around men he plans to fuck.”
Levi grunted. Cutie coughed, a grin creasing his face. A fucking delicious face, all kinds of pretty was happening on that mug. Levi allowed himself to look now, to openly ogle. If he wasn’t getting to touch the merch, he should at least get to look at it.
Gia stuck out a hand. “Gia.” She jerked a thumb Levi’s way. “The mute one is Levi.”
Cutie shook her hand then sat in the chair opposite Levi. “Donovan Cintron.”
Levi tipped his head back and poured the remainder of the water down his parched throat. He swallowed then blinked at Donovan who stared at him like Levi was the most fascinating thing he’d seen in a minute.
Okay. Levi had to be careful otherwise Donovan would be getting up in his ass tonight. And where would that leave him in the morning? With nothing but a sore ass—he shifted in his chair—and regrets. Damn regrets.
The other man moved closer and Levi tensed. He couldn’t help it.
“Levi.” Donovan stood close enough for his breath to heat Levi’s nose when he spoke. “I uh…”
“Yeah?”
Donovan cupped Levi’s face, making his lashes flutter at that contact. “I wanted to ask you this earlier, but you ran away from me at the supermarket before I could.” He paused. “I’d like to take you out sometime. Can I do that?”
Of course he’d say no. He had too much going on. Then there was Gia, and how would he explain what he and Gia had? What they shared? So yeah, he’d say no. Except Donovan brushed the rough pad of his thumb across Levi’s jaw. Not a significant gesture by any means, but Levi’s pulse didn’t think so. It lurched and sped up. He licked his lips. “Yes.”
A wide smile broke out on Donovan’s face. It brightened the other man’s eyes, but for some reason Levi thought Donovan didn’t do it often. Weird, since he didn’t know jack about the man.
“Tomorrow?” Donovan asked.
Levi ran through the list of things he had to do the next day then nodded. “That can work.” They just stared at each other until Donovan broke the silence.
“We should probably exchange numbers.”
Crap. “Oh. Yeah.” He was rapidly losing his ability to do anything other than stare at Donovan Cintron. He punched in the numbers Donovan recited into his phone then watched as Donovan did the same. Levi gave him his address after they settled on a time for Donovan to pick him up.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow.” Donovan touched Levi’s chin.
Levi nodded numbly. “Yeah. Tomorrow.” Which now seemed too fucking far away.
With a crooked smile, Donovan stood and snapped a playful salute then strode away.
Yeah. Levi had a date. And a hard-on.
Good times.
* * * *
Donovan Cintron let himself into his apartment and engaged the lock behind him with a sigh. Tonight had been…something else. Not at all what he’d anticipated. It would take some time before he could gauge whether that was a good or bad thing.
“You made contact.”
Van spun around, hand going to his waist for the gun that wasn’t there. The place was still in darkness, but his shoulders eased. The voice was too fucking familiar. He switched on the light and found the speaker seated cross-legged on his secondhand couch, head tilted back as he regarded Van with a quizzical gaze.
Why did he allow that son of a bitch to surprise him?
“Dutch.” Van placed his phone and keys on the counter and gave Dutch his back.
“You made contact.”
Didn’t he already say that? Van pulled a beer from the otherwise empty fridge and took a mouthful. He wiped his mouth after he swallowed then nodded before he spun to face his boss. “I made contact. Which you know since you had guys on both of us the entire time.”
He didn’t hide the accusation in his voice.
“I cover all my bases, Donovan, you know that.” Dutch got to his feet, his dark suit as crisp as if he’d just put it on. “Levi is my target, and your job is to find out all you can about him and the Nietos.”
Dutch’s latest project was going after a drug gang in Mexico run by the brothers Nieto. Finding out that the men had a third brother no one else seemed to know or had heard about before was a coup for Dutch. Their mission now was to find out if Levi had anything to do with his brothers and their business. If he did, Dutch wanted him tarred and feathered while helping to bring down the other brothers. If Levi was innocent, Dutch wanted to use him, mold him into bait.
Van’s job was to get Levi to trust him, to open up to him by any means necessary.
“This isn’t my first rodeo,” he told Dutch. “I know how to do my job, otherwise you wouldn’t have tagged me for this. I put the bug in his phone at the supermarket. I have a date with him tomorrow, which will get me closer to getting him to open up. Getting into his apartment will take a bit longer.”
“Not really.” Dutch walked to the door. “While you’re on your date I’ll have the guys go in and take care of bugging his place. Cameras and listening devices.” His teeth appeared briefly. “I’m afraid the bedroom isn’t off limits.”
Van crossed his arms. “I’m not sleeping with him.” Not because he didn’t want to. God knows he’d been hard since he’d laid eyes on Levi, but he wouldn’t be doing it for the job.
“You’ll do whatever is necessary to get the job done.” Dutch’s tone was low, cold, and definitely deadly. “It’s not gonna be the first time, will it?”
Son of a bitch. Van’s last job had been seducing the twenty-five year old daughter of a millionaire Televangelist who spent his spare time poisoning the elderly members of his church and stealing their money to fund his coke habit. Church girl liked her some bukkake.
Van had never met a cock or a pussy he didn’t want to ride.
“You’re a heartless bastard, you know that?”
“They wouldn’t keep me in my job otherwise.” Dutch opened the door and Van spied two men wearing suits and dark glasses in the doorway. Shit. He hadn’t even spotted them on his way in. “Do what I contracted you to do, Donovan. Otherwise I’ll have to retire you. Permanently. And someone else will be getting close to Levi. Something tells me he’d prefer that someone to be you.” Dutch closed the door quietly behind him as he left.
With a curse, Van threw his beer
against the wall.
The gnawing in his gut that started the instant he’d opened the file and stared into Levi’s hazel eyes only intensified now that he’d smelled Levi, now that he’d touched him. Getting close to the man without losing himself was looking less and less likely. He was different, that Levi. Van didn’t know if Levi was innocent of all the things his brothers were into.
In the end it didn’t really matter. Once Dutch got ahold of him, Levi would never be the same. His life would be ruined. Everything was blurred, shaded in gray. Van saw nothing but openness in Levi’s eyes, no guile, no deception.
He couldn’t care about that. He had a job.
Van turned off all the lights in the shoe-box apartment and walked out onto the tiny balcony. Cigarette caught between his lips, lighter in hand, he stripped down to his skin under the moonlight. He lit the cigarette and leaned over the balcony, trying to think as he smoked.
He thought about Levi.
The man was gorgeous, smooth skin the color of desert sand. His dark hair was cut to the scalp, goatee framing his delectable mouth. Van had wanted to kiss him as they sat in the loud club, eyeing each other. He’d wanted to lean forward and put his mouth over Levi’s and taste him, test the texture of his lips. He didn’t like kissing, it required a vulnerable intimacy Van could never dig deep enough to find in himself, but he’d wanted to kiss Levi Nieto.
That. That proved exactly how fucked the entire situation was.
Blowing out a small plume of smoke, Van watched it swirl out into the air.
He just had to do his job, get Levi to trust him, maybe even like him, and then destroy him. Piece of fucking cake.
Chapter One
This is now…
“Mel.” Donovan Cintron’s voice dropped off on the name so he swallowed to wet his throat and tried again. Softer this time, a whisper into the phone held to his ear by his right shoulder. “Mel.” He’d stripped off all his clothes and now sat bare-assed inside a stuffy closet. The hangers above him were empty, giving him enough space to sit crossed-legged, his weapons—gun and a ten-inch hunting knife—on either side of his body. Head against the wall behind him, he scratched a match, watched the flame.