by Beth Rinyu
“Anytime you need me to help you forget, I’m ready, willing, and able.” He pulled on his shorts and I felt the bile rising up to my throat. I sat up and stared into his piercing blue eyes for what seemed like eternity while he glared back at me.
I jumped upon hearing the knock on his door, quickly grabbing my dress from the floor. “Ashton, what’s Becca’s car –” Mrs. Barrett covered her mouth in shock while I frantically tried pulling my dress over my head. I jumped up from his bed, running down the steps and out the door.
Had I known that Ashton’s eyes would be the last set of eyes that I would ever look into, I would have looked away. If I had known that I would never see a sunset again, I would have taken in every last detail of the beautiful one that I had taken for granted earlier that night. And had I known that one reckless act would change my life forever and take away my power to see, I would have thought twice before I pushed my car to the limit, losing control and crashing into a concrete median. But I needed the adrenaline rush to help me forget what my father had done, that I had just had sex with Ashton, and that Drew was really gone and everything I thought we had was a lie. Maybe I did it to get back at all of them. Maybe I did it to prove that I couldn't always be in control of myself, or maybe I did it because I couldn't fathom a life without Drew in it.
Mason
Six years later…….
After an eight hour flight, three layovers, and two delays I was finally home. Well, what I temporarily considered home. I couldn't wait until the day I could go back to my real home; River Ridge Louisiana, a suburb just outside of New Orleans. But for now New York City would have to do.
“Hey gorgeous girl, did you miss me?”
Liz lifted her head from her desk, greeting me with a huge smile when I walked into the office. Agent Liz Diaz was a co-worker and a very good friend of mine. We had known each other since I had gotten transferred to the New York office, well over three years ago. I knew she always had my back and I trusted her with my life. She was tough as nails and didn’t take shit from anyone. She told you like it was and if you didn’t like her for it, she could care less.
"Well, well, Mason Boudreaux in the flesh. How does it feel to be back to civilization?"
"I’ll tell you once I get a decent cup of coffee and a hot shower."
"You didn't have fun charming those ladies down in South America?"
"Oh yeah, loads.” I rolled my eyes in sarcasm. “Oh, congratulations by the way; I heard you and Natalie are officially engaged."
"Yup, haven’t set a date yet, but soon we will be wife and wife." She laughed. “And you better be there.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied, taking a seat opposite her desk.
"And condolences to you; I heard you and Gina are officially over. You know I never liked her, right?”
“Yeah, I do recall you telling me that several times.” Gina and I had been seeing each other for the past two years. She wanted more and I didn't, so she decided to find more with someone else. "It was for the best,” I said.
"It's hard trying to maintain a relationship when you have to spend months at a time being someone else. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be long before you’re smooth talking some other little chick with your sexy southern charm."
"Boudreaux, welcome back, my man!" Matt, another agent, said as he walked into Liz's office, shaking my hand.
"Yeah, hopefully I will be back for a while.”
“Heard about you and Gina—sorry, Man."
"Geez, what, has my love life been the topic of conversation around here for the past six months?"
"Pretty much.” Matt chuckled. “Did you miss us so much that you had to stop in and see us as soon as you got back?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I have to be at the prosecutor’s office at ten. Apparently the Mueller case is finally going to the Grand Jury, after five long months of working undercover.”
“Well, let’s just hope that he gets put away for a very long time after all your hard work,” Liz said.
I leaned my head back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how long I would be able to continue being myself before I was sent off on my next case and forced into a whole new way of life. I loved the excitement that this job brought, but sometimes it was nice just to be me and bask in the calmness of my own life and not have to worry about compromising a case by slipping up and saying one wrong thing.
“So Harrison said you’re up for a promotion?” Matt said, breaking me from my daydreaming.
I nodded.
“That would take you out of the field and put you behind a desk. Are you cut out for that?” Liz asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t know, some days I think yes and others, no.”
“Well, you are one of the best damn undercover agents out there, but I get how it could burn you out after doing it for so long,” she said.
“Yeah, it can.” I stared out the window deep in thought before finally looking up at the clock and noticing the time. “Oh shit, I gotta get!”
“Drinks tonight?” Liz asked.
“Yup, text me the time and the place.”
“Sounds good.” She smiled as I got up from the chair and walked out of her office.
I waited for the receptionist to finish up with her phone call. "Can I help you?" she asked with a slight roll of her eyes, seeming bothered by my interruption.
"I'm Agent Boudreaux. I have a ten o'clock appointment with Frank Davis."
Her mood suddenly shifted. "Oh yes! Mr. Davis is expecting you." She picked up the phone to let him know I was here.
"Mason Boudreaux," Frank said, coming out of his office in an instant. "How are you?" he asked, patting me on the back.
"I'm doing good." Frank and I had worked on cases previously. He was one of the best damn prosecutors around, in my opinion. His deep voice was just as intimidating as his six foot five stature, but once you got to know him, he was really a giant teddy bear.
"It's been a while since you and I have worked together," he said.
"Yes, it has."
"Well, I'm glad to see that this one is finally going to the Grand Jury. Let's just hope we have enough for the indictments."
I nodded. "No doubt in my mind that we do."
“I'm actually going to have one of my newer prosecutors sitting in on this one. I'm going to be letting her handle most of this case, so you will be working closely with her.” He led me through a maze of cubicles before stopping and knocking lightly on one of the office doors. "Becca, you have a minute?"
"Yeah, sure."
I was speechless as I stood in the doorway staring into those beautiful blue eyes that I tried so desperately to forget for the past six years. My heart descended to my knees as I tried my hardest to think of what I was going to say to her.
"Becca, I have Agent Mason Boudreaux with me here. He was the undercover on the Mueller case.” She looked past me and smiled. There was no way in hell that she didn't recognize me. She stood up and extended her hand, waiting for me to take it, still staring in the same spot.
“Hi, I’m Becca Keeton. It's very nice to meet you.” I creased my forehead in confusion as I took her warm soft hand in mine. "Just in case Frank didn't tell you, I'm blind."
Blind? What the hell happened to her? I finally pulled it together and cleared my throat. "It's … it’s nice to meet you, Miss Keeton."
"Please, call me Becca. You're accent? Where are you from?”
I swallowed hard, remembering that when Becca had known me or at least who she thought I was, I had to talk without my accent to keep up my cover. "New Orleans," I responded.
"I like it."
Frank excused himself to take a call, leaving me alone with Becca. I couldn’t stop staring at her as she began to speak. She was just as beautiful as the last time that I had seen her. So many questions were going through my mind. But the main one was how? What had caused her to lose her sight?
"So Mueller was basicall
y funneling the money through three different accounts?"
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't heard a word that she had been saying for the past five minutes of our conversation.
"Okay, Agent Boudreaux, let's get the elephant out of the room. Does it bother you working with me because I'm blind?"
"What? No....not at all. I just didn't get much sleep last night, I'm tired."
"Well, sorry. I'll try and keep this short. You don't mind if I record this, do you? It just makes it easier on me when I have to go back and research since I can't....well you know....see." She forced a smile.
"What happened to you?" The words were out before I could even stop them.
"What?"
"I mean, when did you lose your eyesight?"
Pain shot through her eyes and right down to her face. She swallowed hard. "Six years ago. I was in an accident."
"What kind of accident?" I blurted out. I needed to know.
"Boy, you ask a lot of questions! Are you sure you're not a lawyer, too?" she said with a nervous laugh.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. Most people don't like to talk to me about it. You know, they act like it's some kind of disease that they're going to catch if they do." Her eyes shifted and looked like they were staring right into mine. "I was in a car accident. I was.....I was at a really bad point in my life.” I briefly closed my eyes, hoping that bad point she was referring to had nothing to do with me. “But, that’s in the past. Guess we all gotta live with our mistakes. Some of us just make bigger ones than others.”
I stared at her perfectly red lips and was instantly brought back to how it felt to have them pressed up against mine and all over my body. This couldn’t be happening. Becca Keeton, the one and only girl that I ever loved. The girl who plagued my thoughts more times than I cared to remember. The girl that I thought I would never see again couldn’t be sitting right here in front of me…. but she was. I often wondered what would happen if we had ever met up again. Would she hate me for what I had done to her? Would she be able to look past it and understand that my leaving had nothing at all to do with her? Would she be able to fall in love with the real me instead? Never in a million years did I imagine that she would be staring into my eyes, feeling absolutely nothing at all.
Six Years ago
It had been two months, twelve days, and six hours since I had been assigned to this case. I knew it could have been a lot worse. I could have been in some third world country working with ruthless drug cartels instead of over privileged college kids, trying my best to be one of them. So, instead of being Mason Boudreaux, a twenty five year old, DEA agent, who came from a modest family which included my mother, father and sister, I was now Drew Bryant, twenty two year old college student from California who had inherited his family’s fortune after they passed away tragically. The investigation was focusing on Ashton Barrett, who had been on the radar for some time. When the agency had gotten some information that he was starting to branch out to distributing to bigger targets, it piqued their interest and that was where I came in. So here I was at Ashton Barrett’s party, hoping to get some leads while listening to him go on about the girl that he fucked the night before, trying to seem genuinely interested. When the truth of the matter was, I could care less who this obnoxious prick was getting it on with. My attention was broken from Ashton when I saw the two girls that had just walked in, paying particular attention to the taller one. God, she was beautiful. I looked her over, trying to guess her story, something that I always did when new people piqued my interest. I could tell right away from her stance that she didn’t realize just how beautiful she was. She seemed timid and out of place, standing in the same spot as her long chestnut brown, wavy hair was blowing from the ceiling fan overhead. I looked away, not wanting her to see me checking her out.
Ashton looked over in her direction and I immediately wanted to knock the arrogant grin right off his face. "I have been after that piece of ass since the fifth grade and I will bet any of you dick wads that I will get it by the end of the summer." He took another sip of his beer and licked his lips, still staring at the girl.
"Dream on!" Ashton’s friend, Jack said. "Becca Keeton doesn't give any guy the time of day....especially not you."
"Oh, I have my ways.....trust me." Ashton smirked. God, I wanted to knock this jerk off on his ass so bad. “Watch and learn, Jack,” Ashton said as he approached her.
“Well, well, well, the beautiful ladies finally showed up, now all the rest of these bitches can go home!” he said. He moved closer to her and whispered in her ear. I couldn’t keep from laughing at the repulsed look on her face just before she pushed him away. This girl may have been reserved but she certainly wasn’t stupid. Not like all of those other foolish girls that Ashton had eating out of the palm of his hand. He held his hands up in defense. “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying?” he said, walking away with his tail between his legs.
My attention was suddenly focused on the guy who just walked in the door, Troy Baker; one of the main guys that Ashton was dealing with. He had a rap sheet a mile long, but nothing was sticking out just yet. He wasn’t the source of Ashton’s supply, there was someone else involved and I was having the hardest time trying to figure out who it was.
“Yo, Troy!” Ashton shouted, handing him a beer.
“What’s up, my man?” Troy responded, totally amped up on something. “You got my stuff?” he asked.
“Of course. You got my money?” Troy pulled out a wad of hundreds from his pocket. “Then follow me, my man,” Ashton said, leading him up the stairs.
“Fuckin’ Ashton, man. His parents have more money than God and he’s got his hand in shit like that,” Jack said, taking a swig of his beer.
“Where’s he get his stuff from?” I asked Jack, knowing that he was buzzed just enough to tell me if he knew anything.
“Well, the rumor I heard was from his old man.”
“His father?” I asked in total shock.
“Well, his dad certainly has access to all the stuff he wants; he’s an orthopedic surgeon. Don’t know how true that is, but that’s what I heard.”
Holy shit! I never in a million years would have made that connection. But it would make perfect sense. His parents were supposedly pillars of the community so no one would be suspecting them to be using their son to be pedaling their wares. Now I had my work cut out for me. I had to get an in with his parents. How the hell was I going to do this? Ashton never hung around his house, so it wasn’t like I could use my friendship with him as a connection. I was deep in thought when Ashton’s big mouth broke my concentration. He was standing on the landing of the steps swaying back and forth. “I have something to say! I just want to thank everyone for coming to what will be my first epic party of the summer.” His eyes surfed the crowd of people until they finally locked eyes with the pretty brunette that he was trying to get with earlier. “Tonight we are privileged by a very special guest. The ice princess, dick tease, Becca Keeton has honored us by lowering herself to be here tonight. Some of you may remember her from high school. Well, college hasn’t changed her much, she still has that same stick up her ass!”
I looked over at the girl as the rest of the crowd started to laugh. I could see even from across the room that she was mortified. He was such a fuckin’ asshole. He continued rambling on as the girl ran out of the house.
As I took a walk out to my car to text over the information that I had learned tonight to my boss, I noticed the pretty girl that Ashton had just humiliated, standing up against a car. Her moonlit silhouette was just as beautiful as the starlit sky she was staring up into. I knew I should just keep walking and pretend like I didn’t see her standing there, but I just couldn’t. I could tell she was upset and I wanted to make sure that she was alright.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She jumped and quickly wiped her eyes before turning around to look at me. “Oh yeah, I’m good.” She mustered her best smil
e.
“So do you like looking up at the stars?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do!” she snapped.
“No need to take offense. I just thought I was the only one that liked stargazing.”
She sighed and gave a small smile. “In case you didn’t hear Ashton’s little speech, I’m Becca Keeton. The ice princess or dick tease, take your pick,” she said, extending her hand out to me.
“I’m Drew Bryant.” I took her hand in mine.
“So, are you a friend of Ashton’s?”
“Yeah, college buddies.” She nodded as her eyes fixated on mine. “Why don’t you come back inside?” I asked.
“Umm….no. I think I’ll just wait out here for my friend.”
I leaned up against the car and stood next to her. “So, Becca, tell me about yourself.” What the hell was I doing? I had no business getting to know this girl. She had nothing to do with this case. But I just couldn’t help myself.
“Well, you already know that I’m a stuck up bitch.”
I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t believe one word of it.”
“Well, that’s very kind of you. But you’re going to take my word over your buddy’s?”
“I got a mind of my own. Plus I’m really good at reading people and I can tell you’re not,” I replied in all honesty. Little did she know but I thought Ashton Barrett was a complete asshole as well.
“Well, thank you.” She nervously raked her hand through her hair. “So what’s your story?”