by Eve R. Hart
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Knight
Gwen
Knight
Gwen
CHAPTER ONE Knight
CHAPTER TWO Gwen
CHAPTER THREE Knight
CHAPTER FOUR Gwen
CHAPTER FIVE Knight
CHAPTER SIX Gwen
CHAPTER SEVEN Knight
CHAPTER EIGHT Gwen
CHAPTER NINE Knight
CHAPTER TEN Gwen
CHAPTER ELEVEN Knight
CHAPTER TWELVE Gwen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Knight
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Gwen
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Knight
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Gwen
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Knight
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Gwen
CHAPTER NINETEEN Knight
CHAPTER TWENTY Gwen
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE Knight
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO Gwen
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE Knight
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR Gwen
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE Knight
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX Gwen
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN Knight
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT Gwen
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE Knight
Epilogue
Knight
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Find Her
Play List
Other Works
Knight
A Steel Paragons MC Novel
(The Coast Book 1)
By Eve R. Hart
Copyright
Copyright © 2018 Eve R. Hart
All right reserved.
The scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without permission of publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. This book or any portion thereof my not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for brief quotations used in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writers imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is purely coincidental.
Warning: This book is intended for readers 18 years and older. This book contains violence, harsh language, and explicit sex scenes.
Cover image credit Shutterstock.com/Viorel Sima
Dedication
To the ones who are destin to fly,
but always manage to return home with a great story.
Prologue
Gwen age 4
Knight age 8
Gwen
“What’s wrong, Gwenie?” Knight asked me as he walked into my house like it was his. Like he always did because it pretty much was. He was here just as much as he was at his own, if not more.
I’d been crying. Again. Now that summer was over, Knight had to go to school during the day. I wasn’t quite there yet and I hated it. I wanted to hang out with him all day, but instead, I had to hang out by myself. It didn’t help that I hated all my toys and felt bored half the time.
Mom kept telling me that it will only be for a year because this time next year, I would be in school and it wouldn’t be so bad. She told me that I’d make friends my own age and get to play with them almost every day. But that didn’t help me right then. And besides, I didn’t want to make new friends. I had Knight, my best friend, I didn’t need anyone other than him.
“Nothing,” I said, sniffing as I tried to hide the fact that I was crying.
“I brought you something,” he said as he plopped down on the couch beside me.
He held his hand out in front of my face and resting on his palm was an ice cream sandwich. I wasted no time snatching it up and ripping the paper off.
“Thanks,” I mumbled around the huge mouthful I’d taken. I was sure I had chocolate in my teeth, but right then I didn’t care. And I knew Knight wouldn’t make fun of me. He was always nice that way.
That wasn’t to say that he didn’t pick on me. He did, all the time, but he knew better than to do it when I was crying.
“Better?” he asked as he tossed his arm around my shoulders and gave me a playful shake.
“Yes,” I replied with a huge smile on my face.
He was the best. He had always been in my life and I just knew we would be friends forever.
Gwen age 7
Knight age 11
Knight
“She’s really gone, Knight,” Gwen said as she wiped away the tears from her face with the back of her hand.
“I know, Gwenie, I know. I’m sorry.” I tried to soothe her by rubbing my hand up and down her back but I almost got the feeling like she didn’t even realize that I was there.
Three days ago, we lost her mother. Mindy was the best mom, I often wished she was mine. Though, she did always treat me like I was hers. She made up for the empty space I had in my heart from where my own mother had walked away from me. It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was more than I ever could have asked for.
But then she was sick, and not long after that, she was gone. Gwen was a mess and I hated that I couldn’t do anything to help her. I knew the pain of losing her mom wasn’t something I could cure with a simple hug or a sweet treat. I had a feeling it wasn’t something I could fix at all. That hurt me more than anything ever had.
“I don’t want to live a life without her, Knight,” she whispered. Her eyes were focused out the window but I knew she wasn’t actually looking at anything.
There was nothing I could say to that because I knew a little of how she felt.
Mindy was gone and all the warmth that she radiated was too.
There would be no more fresh baked cookies ready for us when we came home from school.
Thanksgiving would never have her famous spiced turkey ever again.
No more homemade strawberry preserves.
No more special Christmas hugs that smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.
No more…
Just no more Mindy.
“I’ll always be here for you, Gwen. You know that, right?” My voice sounded oddly strained as I tried to hold back my own tears.
“I know.” Her head turned to look at me, her big, blue eyes glassy as they stared deep into mine. “I love you, Knight. Please, don’t ever leave me.”
And right there, I knew this girl would forever hold my heart.
“I love you, too, Gwenie. You and me against the world, forever.”
Gwen age 9
Knight age 13
Gwen
The night air was cool on my skin. I sat on top of one of the picnic tables looking up at the star-filled sky. I had no idea what was what as far as constellations were concerned, but that didn’t stop me from trying to make stuff up in my mind, trying to connect strange dots that weren’t really there.
I pulled the blanket tighter around my body, thankful that I was smart enough to bring it out with me. It was soft and reminded me of my mom.
Sometimes I’d spend hours out here while my dad thought I was sleeping, just looking up at the sky hoping that my mom would send me some sign from the great beyond. I would ask her questions and received silence every time. I had to believe that she was there somehow, someway, still guiding me through life. Though, I never knew if she was or not.
This was the time I wished I’d had her around the most. When I needed answers to questions that I didn’t want to go to my dad about. I knew I could have asked him about anything and he would have done his best to answer, but there were just some things that I di
dn’t want to go to him with.
Most of those things right then had to do with stuff that my closest girl friend, Stacy, had told me. Her sister was older than us and had started to do things with boys. I knew about kissing because I’d seen it enough around the clubhouse. But I had no idea why people did it.
I also knew all about sex because my dad didn’t want to wait on that conversation. That was so awkward and to be honest, I still wasn’t sure about half the things he talked about.
Stacy’s sister had already gotten her period and she told Stacy ‘that made her a woman.’ I didn’t see the logic in that, but then again, what did I know?
Stacy had told me that her sister was already kissing boys. Stacy said she was ready to do it too, but I wasn’t so sure. I’d asked her why she wanted to kiss a boy and she answered back with something about love and having a boyfriend.
There was only one boy that I could see as anything other than gross. Knight. But I’d known him since I was born and I couldn’t imagine kissing him.
Only, as I sat on that bench and thought about Knight kissing other girls, I got antsy and queasy. I didn’t know how I felt about it.
Wait.
Yes, I did.
I didn’t want him kissing other girls, but I had no idea why.
“Gwenie,” Knight whispered from behind me making me jump. “What are you doing out here? Your dad thinks you’re asleep.”
“I know,” I whispered back as he settled himself beside me on the top of the table.
His dad wasn’t as strict as mine and sometimes Knight and his dad, Cringer, would spend the night at the compound. Knight was pretty much free to do as he wanted. Like, go to bed when he felt like it. Or eat sweets late at night. Or hang out playing pool when he should have been doing his homework. Though his homework always got done and he was always up with enough time to catch the bus to school, so I guess Cringer didn’t really have anything to worry about.
“Do you like girls?” I blurted out, my mind clearly still on the subject of Knight kissing someone.
“Um, yeah, I guess.” He looked at me with a strange expression on his face. “Why?”
“It’s just that…” My mouth felt dry and my throat clogged, which was strange because it was Knight and I could talk to him about anything. Right? “Stacy’s sister says that if a guy kisses a girl that means he likes her. So, if you like girls—or a girl—then will you kiss her.”
He squirmed and I could tell that this was making him a bit uncomfortable. I hated that it did, but at the same time, I needed to know.
“One, stay away from Stacy’s sister,” he said then blew out a harsh breath. “And don’t fucking listen to anything she says.”
Knight didn’t usually cuss, but when he did, I always thought it was cute and funny.
“Two, I would probably kiss a girl if I liked her…and you know, she wanted me to.” He seemed to visibly cringe as he said those words and I wondered what was going through his mind.
“Have you kissed a girl yet?” I had to know. I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted to know what it was like or if I needed to know that he no longer had that first.
“No,” he said, his tone was almost short and laced with frustration. “Shit, Gwen.”
“Have you thought about kissing anyone?”
“What’s with all the questions, Gwen?”
“I…” I bit my bottom lip wondering how I could even explain it to him. Did I want him to kiss me? Well, I didn’t think so. But I knew I didn’t want him kissing anyone else and that was super confusing to me. “I just wanted to know what it was like, you know, for when I might do it. What if I do it all wrong and whatnot?”
“I think you should go to bed, Gwen. We have school tomorrow.”
I wouldn’t lie, the brush off stung a bit. I looked up at him, the glow of the low moon cast a blue tint on his skin. His eyes locked with mine and I didn’t miss the look of confusion that was set deep in his features.
“Gwen?” I knew he was asking so many questions as he said my name. I took a deep breath and decided to let it all go, this was Knight after all. My Knight.
“I thought I would get all of your firsts. I mean, I know I’ve had so many, but I thought that was just us, you know? The thought of you giving it to someone else, well, I don’t think I like it.” My lip quivered and I wasn’t sure if it was the nerves or the fact that I was about to cry.
“Gwen.” His voice a harsh whisper as his face softened.
His big hands cupped my jaw and though I wasn’t completely prepared for it, I welcomed it. His lips descended onto mine. A brief brush and a light press and then he was pulling away. My head spun and as I blinked open my eyes, which I hadn’t even realized I’d closed until then, I was met with his intense blue gaze boring into me.
“There, now you have my first kiss,” he said with a soft smile then slung his arm around my shoulder like it was just an everyday thing. “You and me…”
“Against the world,” I whispered into the night wind.
“Forever,” he finished as he tightened his arm around me and pulled me further into his side.
Gwen age 12
Knight age 16
Knight
In some ways, Gwen was still a kid and in others, I could see that she was toeing the line of being more, of growing into her own. While she wasn’t quite there, I could almost see how she would be once she got there.
Gwen was smart and sassy. She didn’t let anyone hold her back from something she wanted, ever. She was compassionate and beautiful. I had no doubt that once her body started to really change that she would be the most popular girl in school. And add in that golden blonde hair and big, deep blue eyes, she was sure to knock every man dead with one look. She didn’t know it yet. Matter of fact, I was sure she hadn’t really thought about it. Then again maybe she had and it was one of those things she kept hidden from me.
It was hard to think about that, those things she didn’t tell me. For so long we had been each other’s gatekeeper to all things secret. We’d been each other’s rock and comfort. We had been best friends.
When I was younger I never imagined that it would have to come to an end. Things just didn’t seem right anymore and it killed me to do what I was about to do. The fact that she didn’t even know it was coming only added to the guilt that I had.
Some of my friends from school had made a few offhanded comments about the age gap between Gwen and me. They said it was weird that I would hang out with someone so young. One even called it creepy under his breath. I hadn’t really thought about it until that moment.
Being around Gwen was the most normal and natural thing in the world. Until my eyes became wide open. While I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought, it did make me stop and think. Nights I stayed awake in bed trying my best to push away the weird feeling I had in my gut.
The problem was that I needed advice but I couldn’t go to Brass because it was his daughter that I would be talking about. And that just seemed a bit uncomfortable. I couldn’t go to my friends, they had already made their opinions obvious. I knew I couldn’t go to my dad either. So far, I couldn’t tell you how many nights in a row now, I sat there with my thoughts and tried to work out the best thing to do.
I had a heavy feeling that what I was going to do would possibly break her. But I’d hoped in the end it would give her the freedom to fly.
“Gwen,” I said catching her attention.
She was sitting in the grassy field out behind the clubhouse. Even though her back was to me I knew she had a sketch pad resting in her lap and a pencil pinched in between her fingers. The wind blew as she whipped her head around to look at me causing the loose strands of her hair to fly around her face. A smile lit up her face, the smile that had always been just for me. A smile that I knew I’d never see again.
“You got a minute?” I asked as I walked up and stood beside her. I didn’t dare sit down. I knew it wouldn’t help.
“Yeah. What�
��s up?” Her voice sounded so cheerful.
“Listen. I know this is unexpected but really, it’s unavoidable.”
I went on, my mouth moving, spitting out the words that I needed to. Words like “inappropriate” and “can’t hang out anymore.” I couldn’t look directly at her, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw her happy face fall and the longer I kept explaining the more her jaw dropped in shock.
“So, do you get what I’m saying?” I asked at the end of my painful rant.
She gave an absentminded nod and by the blank look on her face, she was still trying to catch up to everything I’d said. I knew she may not have understood right now, right in this moment, but one day she would. She would look back and comprehend why our friendship had to end. Why I had pulled the breaks. All the reasons that she couldn’t see right now with her young, innocent mind. All the reasons I wasn’t even sure of myself because I didn’t completely understand all the changes that were happening. I just knew the things I’d tried so hard to avoid were starting to be the thoughts that consumed me. And something about it felt wrong at that time.
I walked away knowing I’d crushed the one person that meant the world to me. Knowing it was the right thing to do was the hardest part because that meant that no matter how hard it was, I couldn’t take it back.
Gwen age 14
Knight age 18
Gwen
He was leaving.
The club threw a huge going away party for him. The club girls were out in full force tonight even though it was a family gathering. My dad said that since Knight was eighteen he would allow it as long as everyone kept things behind closed doors.
I was smart enough to know what those ‘things’ were, though I had never done any of them.
I sat on one of the picnic tables in the back lot. The lemonade I held in my hand had long lost its chill. I was pretty sure it was just water at this point. Knight had a few of his friends from school here, though they weren’t part of the club. It was his party so I figured whatever he wanted went.