by Eve R. Hart
We’d already been here, three friggin’ years ago.
Granted the dorms back in Cali had all the furniture I needed so there wasn’t that extra thing for him to worry about, but still. I was over it. I was tired and hungry.
The next day we woke and got to moving around pretty early. After a breakfast of bagels and coffee, we headed off for the place I would call home for a bit. My stomach was in knots and I was surprised I was able to eat my bagel and keep it down. I may have been trying to put on a brave face for my dad but I wondered how well I was pulling it off.
When we got there, I noticed the building was old brick and very well maintained. It was beautiful. I was pretty surprised that the inside seemed like it had been redone and recently at that. I was glad there was an elevator, especially because I would now be living on the fifth floor. The elevator wasn’t all that big but at least it didn’t feel like it was going to crash on the way up.
This was the moment. The polished silver numbers seemed like they were taunting me as my dad’s big hand fell heavy against the wood door that held them up. My figure looked distorted and blurry staring back at me. I couldn’t seem to focus on anything but those numbers. My fingers wanted to reach out and trace the lines of each one. Five. Zero. Three.
The door pulled open with a jerk and snapped me out of my daze. I shook my head thinking that maybe I needed more coffee.
“Brass,” Knight supplied in a half-awake grunt.
I didn’t want to look at him. I really didn’t. But my traitorous eyes did a slow rake over his entire body.
“Mornin’, Knight. Did we wake you?” My dad spoke for the both of us. Which was good, because my mouth suddenly felt dry.
His feet were bare, his loose, frayed sweatpants covering half of them. The strings of those very pants hung undone down the front and the waistband was just a tad crooked like he had thrown them on in a hurry. The top of his red and black boxers hung out over the edge a fraction of an inch, taunting me. Yes, taunting me, because right above that was a whole lot of bare Knight. My eyes roamed up the grooves of his tight abs. Holy Shit! Eight. I counted each one of them, he had a friggin’ eight-pack.
The room suddenly felt too warm and the air felt too thick for my lungs to take in. I may have even felt a bit dizzy. This was not good. There was no way I could live with him, especially looking like that. Then there was his grumpy attitude towards me and it was just a nightmare of a disaster waiting to happen. But it looked like I had no choice.
His throat cleared. My eyes immediately snapped up to his and the look I received wasn’t one that made me want to move in any further. He was unhappy, and that was putting it nicely.
“In or out, Gwenie,” he said as his hand gripped the doorknob tighter. “Pick one.”
“I missed you, too,” I said with as much strength as I could muster. I may have had the slightest bitter bite to those words even if it was the truth. But it wasn’t this Knight that I had missed.
For just a split second I saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes. A tiny crack in his armor. And it made me wonder if my Knight was still in there somewhere. But then it was gone and I suddenly felt cold as I forced my feet to move forward into the apartment.
“Brass,” Knight said moving into the kitchen where my dad had wandered off to. “I’ve got to get down to the docks. Here’s the spare key. Room is down that hall.” He pointed to the hall off to the right.
I took a moment to look around. The whole space was very open and the far wall was lined with windows that let enough light in to almost make the place feel warm and homey. However, the sparse, dark furniture and bulky leather couches did their best to fight against that feeling. The huge TV seemed to be the focal point of the living room and I was surprised I didn’t find empty bottles littering the coffee table and posters of half naked girls on the wall.
The place actually looked surprisingly clean. As I stepped into the kitchen I even noticed that the sink was free of dirty dishes and there weren’t any crumbs on the counters. Then again, maybe he didn’t even spend enough time here to make a mess. That could have been why the place seemed so untouched.
From growing up in the club, I knew that even though they had a place of their own, a lot of times the brothers seemed to crash at their room at the compound. I imagined that Knight probably did the same.
The kitchen was pretty decent sized and showed into the living room with a half wall. The whole place screamed ‘open space.’ I wondered how much time I would actually spend out here. If this tension and distaste Knight had towards me was going to stay like this then I imagined I wouldn’t come out of my room unless I absolutely had to. While I wasn’t one to hide away, I also wasn’t one to put up with that kind of treatment.
A soft sigh escaped my lips as what I assumed was his bedroom door closed behind him. It was directly off the left side of the living room. It looked like we would have a whole apartment of separation. That was good. At least I wouldn’t have to hear him doing things, like going to the bathroom and snoring…and entertaining any women he brought over.
Ugh. That last thought made my heart drop. I mean, I knew there was no way that he wasn’t having sex. Especially being as attractive as he was, I was sure he had panties dropping at every move he made.
“The guys should be here soon to help put all that shit together. Let’s go check out your room.” Dad said breaking me out of my thoughts.
I gave him a tight smile and a little nod then followed him down the hall to my new room. The room was a good size. I took in the dark hardwood floors that looked liked they had been redone recently. The walls were a clean white. The two windows were huge and let in the perfect amount of light. I loved it. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
Just then a ruckus caught both of our attention. It seemed to be coming from the front of the apartment and by one of the voices that fluttered down the hall, I knew that our help had arrived. Taking off down the hall without waiting for Dad, I made my way to the group of brothers and skidded to a halt just in time to not crash into B-ry.
“Holy shit! Little Gwen had done grown up,” he said in a thicker country accent than what he really had. I giggled as he held his arms out wide. Without hesitation, I jumped into them and he swung me around a few times.
B-ry was from the West Tenn. chapter. Like Knight and me, he’d grown up in the club. His dad was the VP and B-ry prospected the moment he was old enough.
“Enforcer,” I said as I looked at his cut. “Big man now, huh?” His huge smile beamed with pride.
Though I knew it wasn’t a light job, I had no doubt that with his muscles and buzzed head he could be downright intimidating when he turned the charm off. In fact, I had seen it once, and only once, and I didn’t ever want to again.
“Yep,” he supplied. “Where’s Knight?”
“Docks,” I answered with a shoulder shrug.
“Right…well, shall we get this party started?” He clapped his hand together, the sound echoed off of the walls, then he rubbed them together.
I looked around at who else had come to help. I knew none of them. I noticed that two of them wore prospect patches and I wondered how new they were.
“This here is Fitz,” B-ry started with the introductions. He pointed to a guy that looked a few years older than me at most. I looked at his cut and saw he was wearing the treasurer patch. “He came from the South Carolina chapter. The prospects are…shit, I forgot your name.”
By his tone, I could tell he was messing with the prospect he was looking at.
“I see how it is. Next time I give you a tattoo, it’s gonna be of a princess instead of a skull.” The guy raised a joking brow and I laughed. “Sketch and this here is Tripp.”
I put my hand up and gave a little wave.
“Gwen, why don’t you figure out where you want everything and we’ll start bringing shit up. The guys will put the furniture together and move it where ya want. Mattress should be here in a couple of hours.” Dad pulle
d me in for a side hug then walked out the door, the other guys trailing behind him.
With all of us working, the furniture was built in record speed. Before I knew it, the guys were moving things around the room while I gave direction. It only took another hour to get the right set up. I wasn’t trying to be picky but I wanted that stuff set up right so I wouldn’t have to worry with it again.
The small desk was pushed up in front of one of the windows. The bed was in the middle of the right wall, furthest from the door. I just needed to get some curtains and a few things on the bare walls and it would be perfect.
“I ordered pizza. Figured we could at least feed these guys for all the hard work they did,” Dad said as he looked around the room. I couldn’t tell by his face what he was thinking.
“Good idea,” I said with a nod. I realized then that I was hungry and pizza sounded friggin’ amazing. “Thanks for all this, dad. I will be fine.” I tried my best to assure him.
I knew I would be but there was still that nervousness about being in a new place. And not to mention the apprehension of living with Knight. But if that was what it took to keep my dad from freaking out with worry every second of every day, then that was what I was going to have to deal with.
“I know. But you are my baby girl, it’s a parent’s job to worry,” he said trying to hide his emotions.
“I’ve got all these great guys around, no need to worry at all.”
“Yeah,” he said with a grunt giving me a look. A look that very much said he wasn’t so sure about that. Then he turned and walked off muttering something about breaking skulls if any of them so much as breathed too close to me. I couldn’t help but laugh at his overprotective grumpy ass.
CHAPTER FIVE
Knight
I stumbled into my apartment sometime after midnight. I was beat as all get out. The previous night I hadn’t slept at all, no surprise there. I counted my blessings that the place was dead quiet when I walked through the door.
The reason I’d waited so long to come back here was that I was avoiding. Yep, like a big ol’ pussy. But the thing was, I was completely blindsided by this whole thing. Not only was Gwen in the same city as I was, she was in my mother fucking space. I would never be able to escape her now.
My eyes scanned the area. Nothing seemed out of place or different. I had no idea what I expected. Maybe some girly pillows on the couch or one of those fuzzy throws tossed over the back. Maybe some flowers or candles spread about. But there wasn’t any of that. If I didn’t know any better, I would have said I was still living alone.
I had no need to stay out as long as I had. And really, I didn’t even need to leave as early as I did, but I wasn’t ready to handle the closeness yet. And sure, I knew I was being a dick to her, just like I had all those years ago. The docks were fine, and I knew this even before the words came out of my mouth. I simply had to do a quick run through today to make sure nothing seemed out of place. But no one needed to know that.
My head turned and looked down the hall that held the door to her room. I tried my hardest to keep my focus straight, but I simply couldn’t. When it came to Gwen, I could never ignore her presence, even if she thought I could.
My bed was calling me. I forced my feet forward and not soon enough, I flopped down in the middle of my king-sized bed. Then, like every other fucking night, I pulled out my phone. My fingers flew over the screen as I typed out a message. I stared at it for a long minute before I erased it and tossed my phone to the side. I couldn’t tell you how many years I’d done this. Over and over. Always the same thing. But I’d never hit send, convinced that it was for the best.
The thing was, it was even more pointless now. Because the very girl that I was typing that message to was across the way. We were only separated by the width of the living room. Feet that seemed to be too much and not enough all at the same time.
With a heavy sigh, I rolled over and tried my best to go to sleep. I tossed and turned all night long. Memories from the past flashed through my head like a happy home movie. I remembered everything about her. Her smell. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her eyes would light up when she saw me. She always looked at me like I was her fucking hero. Like as long as I was around nothing bad could ever happen to her.
That was the worst part about it all, I was one of the bad things that happened to her. I couldn’t deny how broken she was after I cut ties. I saw it. There was no way I couldn’t because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Even though she didn’t know it, I was still looking out for her. Until I couldn't anymore. Until I ran like a damn coward. And though we were miles apart, I never stopped thinking about her.
The sun came up, filling the room with too much light. Then came the sounds from the other side of the door. She was in the kitchen, making coffee I imagined. By her light steps, I could tell she was trying her best to be quiet and I could almost see her walking around on her toes like she used to do when she was younger.
Then the faint knocking sound on the front door caught my attention. Before I could even process who it might have been, I was out of the bed, gun in hand, and bolting out of my room. I caught Gwen just as she was about to walk out of the kitchen.
“The hell, Knight? Shit! You scared the crap out of me,” she screeched as she stared at me with wide eyes. Then she noticed the gun I held down at my side. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. It’s just Mouse.”
The fuck? What the hell is he doing here and how does she know it’s him without even opening the door?
The blood pounded in my ears and I gripped the handle of my gun tighter. I had no right to feel what I was feeling, but that didn’t stop me.
“Mouse?” she called out to further prove her point.
“Yeah,” Mouse said through the closed door. “It’s me. Knight freaking out?”
I rolled my eyes and tucked the gun into the back of my pants before pulling the door open.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I barked and I knew my shit mood wasn’t missed on either one of them.
“Taking princess to breakfast.” He shot me a look like I should fucking know better.
“I’m ready,” Gwen said, shooting me an annoyed look as she shoved her keys into her pocket. She turned and didn’t even give me a second glance as she walked out the door.
“You hungry, man?” Mouse asked and I knew he could sense the growing tension in that moment. I also had an idea that he knew what the fuck was up, seeing that he had been around the club a lot not too long before shit went down.
And because I was a man that decided he wanted a side of torture with his eggs, I said yes.
I didn’t know what Mouse’s play was here. I wasn’t sure if he was just being friendly or if there was something more. But I needed to know, even if I had no right to infringe. He should have known better, though. She was Brass’ daughter and there was a loud unspoken rule that you didn’t fuck with her.
That was the biggest issue I had. I respected Brass and saw him as a second father. So when it came to my feelings for Gwen I had to do what was right. I had to stay away.
At the diner, I made sure Mouse sat first, then I planted my ass right next to his. That way they would be separated. And there was no way I could sit next to her. I knew I would break if I did.
She was fucking stunning. I hadn’t really let myself look at her since she had resurfaced into my life, but now there was simply no way to avoid it. I didn’t say much, choosing to let the two of them catch up, but I did hear every word and noticed everything about her. Like how her laugh still had the same sweet ring to it only less childlike. Her smell was still floral only more grown up. It was like roses and honey instead of daisies and sugar. Her face was thinner but still held that same light when she talked about things she loved. She was still my Gwen, only she wasn’t a girl anymore.
Truth be told, it was killing me. I considered myself a strong man, but I knew she would end up bringing me to my knees. I only wondered how long that would take.
>
It didn’t go unnoticed that she practically acted like I wasn’t there. I supposed my icy welcome hadn’t helped any. But I knew it would be for the best if I kept her at arm’s length.
Halfway through my plate of food, Brass showed up and I knew that he was here to have a last goodbye with her before he headed back home. I also knew that he was here to remind me one more time that she was his baby girl and that I was to look out for her with my life. Which he did tell me, in those exact words, as we left the diner.
I followed her home, not because I was being a creepy stalker, but because we were both going to the same fucking place. Sure I could have passed her, done the dick thing and left her in the dust, but I couldn’t find it in me to do so. By the glances she kept throwing me in her rearview mirror, I had a good idea she noticed, too.
Once we were inside the apartment I opened my mouth to say something. But then nothing came out. Her blue eyes shined up at me as she waited to hear what I had to say. The seconds ticked on and I felt myself getting hot and not in a good way. More like, in that awkward and flustered way. The longer I stood there, the more I realized how fucking close she was to me, the more my head began to swim.
“I gotta shower and head out.” The words fell out of my mouth with a sharp bark to them. “You need anything, you can call Mouse,” I said his name with bitterness on my tongue. So much so, that I could taste it in my mouth the entire way to my room.
This was not part of my plan. She was not part of my plan. Too many years I’d spent trying to forget her only to have her come back into my life like a fucking hurricane.
The club, that was what I needed to focus on. This chapter was still too new and we had to go the extra mile to stand our ground. We were no joke and most people knew that but that didn’t mean we could slack off even for a second. I didn’t need or want for any distractions. So, I decided I was going to push her out of my mind as best as I could and really dig into the things I needed to take care of.