"Well, bugger me!" boomed a voice. "The Scots git. And a duck thing! At least it's not a black duck."
Patchet sat at a table in the corner. Holding a pint in one hand, and a fork full of food in the other, he was looking at Jamie as if humans always walked into his pub.
Jamie had to stop himself from running over and hugging the human figure.
"Patchet!"
Jamie shook the other human's hand vigorously, much to the bemusement and consternation of the other, as he had to put down his fork to do so.
Patchet didn't look much different from the last time he'd seen him on Patchet station. The Australian engineer's head was no longer bandaged, but one hand now was. He was still wearing stained overalls which had seen better days, and Jamie briefly wondered if they were the same ones. He was as thin as ever, his gaunt but tall frame unfolding as he stood up, and grime seemed to be ingrained into his skin, where it showed. Pock-marked and stubbled face, smiling good-naturedly with a gap-toothed grin, he was the best thing Jamie had seen in a long while.
Jamie introduced Dodgers, and Patchet sat down again, waving a hand at the seats at the table. Jamie sat, Dodgers perched. Jamie was at a loss what to say, but Patchet opened the conversation.
"Last time I saw you, I was patching your ship. What are you doing on this benighted planet? I thought no-one from the wider galaxy bothered to come here."
"Did nae mean to end up here," explained Jamie. "I need to find a way off," he added bluntly.
Patchet took a large swig of beer.
"This's my retirement bolt-hole. I was hoping to avoid nasties. Bhatet and the Brotherhood. Hope no one knows you came here."
"Bhatet got what was coming to him. Snark poisoned him in the end. From what I heard, one of his own guards stood there, and let him die. Brotherhood have had some setbacks, but they're still a force out there, and very likely the problem here."
"Bloody Bhatet! Glad to hear someone knocked him off." He considered the rest of the information. "Not good about the Brotherhood. Thought they'd never bother with this planet."
Dodgers had gone to order some drinks and food, and came back with two pints.
"Cheers!"
Patchet raised his glass as they all took a swig. After pulling at the pint for some time, he lowered his empty glass, and shook his head.
"Scots git! Who'd have thought? And a duck thing. Common as mud around here, though."
Dodgers looked a bit put out. Jamie broached his main purpose again.
"I'm looking for a way off this planet. I ha' tae get back tae my friends."
Patchet rubbed his stubble with his bandaged hand.
"There's no space port in this country. Only one's on the next continent, and it's a long sea voyage."
Jamie winced.
"You must have come here with your own ship."
Patchet put a finger on his lips.
"Quiet, now. No need for the locals to know."
They were speaking human, and no one seemed to have tablets or translators, but Patchet seemed a bit paranoid. Dodgers seemed to be the only one following the conversation using her tablet. Patchet looked around carefully, leaned forward, and whispered confidentially.
"Landed it near the lake. Bit of a mess. Needs whipping into shape."
"Could it fly?"
Patchet considered this question. He looked towards the ceiling, and then down at his hands. He wiggled his fingers, and clasped them together using alternate fingers. He wiggled them again. He looked up at Jamie.
"Might do."
"Would you sell it?"
Patchet looked at Jamie speculatively.
"It's my only way of getting off here, if I ever need to."
"Would you lease it then? I'd bring it back."
Patchet chuckled to himself.
"Hogs'd fly."
"You can trust me."
Patchet considered Jamie again. The food came, and he waited for the waiter to leave.
"I reckon I could, but anything could happen out there. You might not be able to bring it back."
Jamie didn't know what to say next. He'd nothing to offer as collateral. He thought hard. Every option involved him surviving to come back to Patchet to repay him.
Patchet also considered Jamie.
"Let's have a look, first. Not much use discussing if it won't fly."
"Where is it?"
Patchet put an index finger to his nose, and looked at Jamie knowingly.
"Not too far. But not too close. Need to take my boat."
"Would ye take me?"
"Sure, why not? Breaks up the monotony."
He cackled. Dodgers had been listening. She piped up.
"I'm coming too."
Jamie had been waiting for Dodgers to let him know when she wanted to part ways.
"Ye want to stay wi' me?"
"Why not? Breaks up the monotony."
And she laughed, Jamie joining her.
Thirty Six
Jamie and Dodgers headed down to the lake with Patchet, to wait on Patchet's boat, and so getting them out of the public eye.
Jamie was surprised. Although the boat had seen better days, and wasn't very clean, it was remarkably ship-shape, unlike Patchet's workshop on his station, where he'd run his engineering business. Spare parts, engine parts, and supplies had lain strewn around, with dirt and oil everywhere. While the boat still had the signs of a need for a clean, everything was in its place, and tied down. Patchet read Jamie's mind.
"Lake is fairly placid most of the time, but doesn't mean storms don't happen. Have to keep it tidy." He looked a bit put upon at this, but shrugged his shoulders. "Keeps me occupied, at least."
The boat was a cruiser, with a roofed in bridge, and fairly spacious accommodations below decks, especially for a boat this size. The engine was old-fashioned, as they all were on this world, and Jamie could see, from the oily rags, and the state of his overalls, Patchet spent a lot of his time nursing it along.
He waved them to the bunks. Jamie was resigned to hiding out, but it didn't mean Dodgers couldn't sit in the pub sipping a pint, and listening out for information, particularly if the authorities were after them. Seeing the lodgings on offer, Dodgers agreed, and went back to the pub with Patchet. Jamie settled in for a wait, although he'd told Patchet he'd like to catch up with Flash.
Jamie was doing the only thing he could in the circumstances, sleeping, when Dodgers half fell down the stairs into the living space of the boat.
"Police!" he squawked.
Jamie was instantly awake.
"What?" he asked briefly.
"They're looking for us. I was just coming back from the toilets, when the police barged in, and asked if anyone had seen the 'alien human'."
"Did anyone let on?"
"No. It was weird. The beings in the pub all stayed quiet. Patchet was there, and said he was the resident human for these parts, and everyone laughed."
"And?"
"The police arrested Patchet."
Jamie cursed. He needed Patchet.
"Where have they taken him?"
"Don't know."
"Let's go."
Jamie and Dodgers climbed the stairs to the deck, Dodgers checking there weren't any police there first, and then marching directly into the pub. Jamie spotted the owner, and moved across to him behind the bar.
"You!" said the barman, a large hog being, who scowled. "You got Patchet arrested."
"I'm as sorry as you are, more even," said Jamie. "Thanks for not letting on about me, but we need to find Patchet, and get him freed."
"Patchet told us to stay quiet about you. Now look what's happened."
"If we know where to go, we can get him out."
"I'd say they'd take him to the local station, in the next town along."
He indicated further down the lake road, where their van was hidden.
"Thanks. Don't worry, he won't get into trouble."
"He'd better not."
The hog pub owner looked belligerent. Ju
st then, Flash showed up.
"Jamie!"
"Flash!"
Flash looked around.
"Did you find Patchet? I'm looking for him myself."
Jamie quickly explained the situation. Flash thought for a moment.
"Let me fly over there, and see what's happened. That way, you don't have to give yourself up, which is what will happen if you go now. I can fly back, and we can decide what to do next. After all, he owes me tors for a back order."
He grinned, parting his beak, tossing his head, and flew off. They returned to the boat to wait, which turned out to not be long.
"Bad news, I'm afraid." Flash was frank about it. "The police have arrested Patchet as being a human escapee from the military, at a town a long way away. Couldn't possibly have been him of course." Flash eyed Jamie. "Had to be you. But Patchet doesn't have an alibi. He's been on the lake, with no-one to vouch for his whereabouts."
"Any human will do," reflected Jamie bitterly. "There's no other way. I'll have to go and give myself up, and get Patchet released."
Jamie looked so resigned Dodgers spoke up.
"Let me go instead. I can make up a story you were wounded by the explosion at the crash. You died."
"They'd want to see a body."
"Oh."
"Thanks for offering."
They thought hard, but there was nothing for it. Jamie would drive to the town in the van, and give himself up. Dodgers wanted to come too, but Jamie insisted she get on with her original plans.
Jamie walked back to the van alone. He couldn't leave Patchet in jail for him, it just wasn't in his nature. But he didn't want to give in. He was almost there, almost able to get back into space and find Anna. It was so tantalisingly close, but so far away, he felt desolated. He'd failed.
With difficulty, being a hand short, he drove the van into the next town, and had no trouble finding the police station. There was a crowd around it, trying to see the human alien who'd been arrested. He got out of the van, and the crowd, previously noisy, hushed. He went inside.
The hog police officer behind the counter did a double-take when he saw Jamie. He looked behind him, where Jamie assumed the cells were, and then looked back at Jamie.
"I'm here to free Patchet," he started in the local dialect.
The officer's mouth moved, without any noise, and he finally slid out sideways to get someone.
Another officer appeared, and motioned for Jamie to come through.
He was placed in an interrogation room, and left to wait.
Thirty Seven
"The council will see you now," said the flunkey, a fuzzball with almost psychedelic purple colouring.
Fred dragged his eyes away from the being, and walked through the door.
Jane was standing in the center of the chamber, as she always did, and she nodded to him warmly. He looked to the number one chair, and nodded to Sarah, who also nodded warmly back.
"Welcome back ambassador," said Jane.
The chamber resonated with similar greetings, and Fred waved around the room. He was fairly universally liked, partly because he made the effort to know as many ambassadors and their staff as he could, socializing with many of them, but mostly because he usually sat the number one chair.
This wasn't normal. The leader of the council sat the number one chair as a matter of protocol, but Jane had dispensed with this on the basis the leader had to have sector interests uppermost when in session, and so his or her chair should be occupied by someone else whose focus was on their species or entity. The council had accepted this change with enthusiasm. Not the least because the leader was now out in the open, instead of being able to hide away in any chair somewhere. The previous leader, Ganshura, had been known to move around the chamber at whim, his booming voice often being a mystery to supplicants. It worked for him, but this wasn't in Jane's character.
"Was it really necessary to destroy the sector nine council chamber?" asked the fuzzball.
"Pretty much, yeah."
Fred was grinning, and the whole chamber laughed.
"You handled it well," said the not-croc, whose people provided a good percent of the sector military forces, or had done before humans arrived.
"My team handled it well. I just took out the bozo with the detonator."
There was more laughing, but also some confused looks. Jane waved a definition of the word bozo up on the wall in a cross section of languages, and those not laughing soon were.
"Are you being disrespectful of the dead, Duke Fred?" asked the stick insect, when things quietened down.
"Possibly. But an ambassador who is so stupid as to think threatening a council with a bomb will result in anything less than their own death, is more or less asking for it."
"And if one of us tries the same thing here?" asked a voice from the back.
"Expect the same."
There was silence for a moment.
"The building droids are already programmed to repair such damage," said Jane dryly.
"Point taken," said the mushroom. "I doubt they'd be needed though. With the sensor technology our leader possesses, I doubt an explosive could even be brought in here undetected."
"Quite," said Jane, and made a note to make sure this was true. "Duke Fred, were your missions successful?"
"Yes. The Kingdom now has reciprocal diplomatic missions with the Cat World in sector eight, and their leader's health is now significantly improved, thanks to the medical team we left there. The sector eight and nine councils have both agreed to send delegations here for discussions of mutual interest, and are but waiting for suitable transport to arrive. And both are now allowing sector ten fleets to cross their space in pursuit of Brotherhood and pirates."
"Sector eleven is also sending a delegation," added Jane. "With luck and good diplomacy, we should be able to co-ordinate a four sector wide strategy against the Brotherhood, pirates, and illicit drug running."
"When can we expect you back in your chair here, Duke Fred?" asked the fuzzball.
"In a few days. I have a much postponed ground breaking ceremony to attend on HR1 tomorrow. We hope to have our first city up and running in a few months. Anyone wishing to attend is most welcome. We are not going to be the biggest population center in the Kingdom, but we aim to be the most popular!"
The grin on his face started the chamber laughing again.
"Thank you my lord Duke," said Jane. "We won't keep you further."
Fred gave her a short bow, waved to the chamber as a whole, and left.
"Let's discuss who is best for our delegation to meet with the other sectors."
Thirty Eight
"I told you." Jamie was adamant. "I just wanted to go my own way. As far as I was concerned, their military had held me hostage, against my will. I hadn't done anything wrong."
The police officer, a brown duck, sifted through some reports on his tablet.
"I have at least three counts of theft of a vehicle, and I'm sure if I search further, I'll find more."
Jamie was silent for a moment.
"I always left them in good nick, and paid the drivers for their inconvenience."
"It's still theft, if good-natured theft."
Jamie didn't respond. There really wasn't anything to say.
"Damage to military property."
"I fought off a whole air fleet with that 'military property'. No surprise I got shot down."
"Desertion."
Jamie scoffed.
"That's too much! I wasn't part of their military. I never joined up. I was a hostage. They had to point a gun at my head to get me in that thing."
"I'm sure the military will cite it was a war situation, and you were drafted."
"I'm not even a citizen. Of county, country, or even this bloody planet."
"The military were keeping you in detention, then."
"This is ridiculous!"
The officer looked curiously at Jamie. Humans were very odd looking with their symmetry of form, and jus
t the two arms and legs. They looked very physically unstable, and maybe mentally as well.
"It's moot. I've been ordered to hold you in custody pending a court appearance and bail application, although it's unlikely you'll make bail, I assume."
Jamie's thoughts were racing. How to get out of here?
The officer was in a bind. He had several civil infringements he was bound to have prosecuted, but the military was on his back as well. He was loath to let the military have the human, before he'd settled his own cases, but they were insistent and powerful.
"I've scheduled a court appearance for you tomorrow, and as this town is too small for a proper jail, you'll spend time in the cells here before your appearance tomorrow." He paused. "You have the right to contact a suitable being to represent you in court. If you do not have the means to contract someone, you will be allocated a government advocate."
Jamie dropped his head down.
"I'll need that government advocate," he said.
The officer stood.
"Wait here," he ordered, and exited the room.
A police hog took Jamie to a cell. He found it odd they hadn't searched him, but given the clingy nature of the suit he was wearing, he guessed they thought there was no point in doing so. At least he was on his own. Crime mustn't be very prevalent in these parts, he thought, randomly. He was at the lowest point he'd ever been. He was never going to get off this planet. Why had the 'gods' sent him here? What was it all for?
He'd failed Anna, and the team. He'd failed himself.
He pulled himself together. While there was life, there was hope. He'd find a way to get out of here, and to get off this miserable lump of rock, if it took him all his life. He wasn't going to give up, he'd keep going. If he was back in the military, he was bound to get access at some stage to technology he could make use of to get where he needed to be. There was always a way through. And if not, he'd find one, if it was the last thing he did. Actually, there were other things which amounted to the last thing he could do, but he didn’t really want to go there.
Next day, he was visited by a black swan, wearing a dark cloak, and carrying a tablet.
"Mr. Anderson?"
Jamie nodded.
A.I. Destiny 5 Talisman of Tomorrow Page 15