by Stahl, Shey
“Are you all right?” I whispered in Casten’s ear lifting his gray sweatshirt to see a swollen pinkish mark just below his ribcage on his left side. Axel had really nailed him. Already there were faint purplish bumps forming around the pink raised skin indicating a bruise was forming.
Remaining slouched beside me; Casten didn’t say anything and wouldn’t look at me.
Thankfully, we pulled into the Tulsa Expo Center. It wasn’t even ten yet and already the day had turned to shit.
Justin and Tommy met us outside the expo center. Tommy, not knowing what just happened, grabbed Casten when he jetted from the van and threw him over his shoulder. Casten vomited down his back and then started crying again but reached out with his foot to trip Axel as he walked by.
That started an all-out war between them ending in Axel slamming Casten against a pillar outside, his hands fisted in his sweatshirt. Casten’s head snapped back against the metal. “Leave me alone!” Axel pulled him toward him and then pushed him back against the pillar once more. “I mean it, leave me alone!”
Tommy, Justin and me intervened.
“Axel, Jesus, stop it!” I warned sternly pulling Axel while Justin grabbed Casten, holding him against his side in a somewhat protective stance.
Casten’s eyes were wide, filled with tears and fear.
Axel pulled his hood back over his head, grabbed his backpack and headed inside the expo center with me following close behind him.
Reaching out, I grabbed the strap of his backpack jerking him backward. “What the hell was that back there?”
“Nothing,” He snapped handing the registration desk his release forms and then handing the minor waiver to me. “Sign that.”
I did and handed it to the lady behind the table, her eyes focused on me and my son glaring at each other. “It wasn’t nothing. Your brother could be seriously hurt from that.”
“Doubt it.”
His phone beeped in his hand. He glanced down but didn’t answer it instead slipping it inside his jeans.
His chin came up and his head tilted to the side. I could see so much of myself in him right then. “Keep him away from me today.”
This was not what I had planned for today.
Hayden, Andy Crockett’s, a fellow cup driver of mine, son came walking up to Axel. “Axel, you get registered?” He smiled when he saw me standing behind him. “Hey Jameson, my dad’s over there somewhere.”
Hayden was already dressed in his racing suit waiting for practice sessions to begin and I could tell Axel was anxious to do the same.
From the time I had started coming to midget nationals with my dad when I was probably eight, the excitement of being at the world’s largest midget race had never faded.
Chili Bowl Midget Nationals is the only event that takes the best midgets drivers from USAC, Badger (Midget Auto Racing Association), the Rocky Mountain Midget Association, USAC sprint car drivers, USAC silver crown drivers and the World of Outlaws. All the best open wheel drivers in the world and puts them in one place for one weekend competing for twenty-four starting spots in the A-Main. Talk about some of the best racing ever seen. I honestly believe the racing seen at the Chili Bowl is some of the best in the world.
Too bad I wasn’t racing this year. This year was about my son who was already strapping into his car.
Hovering over him, I handed him his helmet as he pulled his buckles over his shoulder one at a time.
“Stay relaxed out there buddy, just get a feel for the track and the way the car feels to you.”
Axel nodded, his gaze fixed ahead of him. It was apparent now was not the time I would be able to talk to him. He needed to get out there and calm himself down.
When he reached for his helmet after pulling the arms straps tight, his hands trembled.
As his dad in that moment, I wanted to comfort him but as a fellow racer, I knew he didn’t need it. He needed the car.
The practice sessions were formatted differently for national events like this. You received a number when you registered and that designated which was your first practice session. Axel was in the seventh session. This was good because it was later in the afternoon and a good amount of rubber had been laid out on the clay.
Midgets have a starter in them with an in-line clutching system which means they have one gear just like sprint cars. The only difference is that the driver can take off at will as opposed to a sprint car where you need a push to get going.
Justin found me after his practice session, his expression both uneasy and frankly, a little annoyed. “What’s with him today?”
We took a seat in the pit bleachers.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Nerves I guess.”
Justin seemed to contemplate this for a minute. “Yeah, I guess this is the biggest race he’s been in, huh?”
Nodding, I examined Axel’s first few laps on the track. In his practice session he had Hayden, Tyler, Cody, Ryder, Brett Lucan from the Badger division, Travis Quinn from the Rocky Mountain Midget Association and the worst of all, my dad, more importantly, Axel’s grandpa...the king of the open-wheel racing on dirt.
“This outta be interesting.” Spencer said, a hotdog in one hand and a plate of nachos in the other, taking a seat on the other side of Justin.
“Do you ever stop eating?” I asked stealing a cheesy nacho. “No, do you?”
“No.”
The official waved the green flag for the start of the hot laps. Jimi started mid-way through the field and hung out toward the rear getting a feel for everything. Axel seemed to do the same for the first three laps of the twenty-lap session. Coming out of turn three on the fourth lap, he went up high on the berm passing by Tyler and Cody in turn four leaving him in some clean air.
Axel spent countless hours, upon hours, watching racing and learning from some of the best around the world. He knew how to race and I knew damn well he could win this race if everything lined up. You can’t just have talent, not at these events. Engines blow, drivers misjudge and race officials make shitty calls at times. It’s not about talent all the time. Mental awareness is the key and knowing what can happen can be half the battle.
But the most import aspect of winning was keeping a clear head and that was something that Axel did not have right now.
Brett Lucan of the Badger division was an eighteen-year old kid who Axel hated.
Probably as much as I hated Darrin back in the day.
Brett was always looking for a fight and constantly sought out Axel on the track if he could. Keep in mind this is the same kid Axel got suspended over last year. This was also a reason why Brett raced the Badger series now. Even though Axel was suspended, the Riley family does hold a certain bit of weight with USAC.
Usually the kid couldn’t finish a race without ending up in the catch fence so it was rare that he actually got to Axel during a race. It was generally after the race or at national events when their paths crossed again.
As I said before, this was a practice session. It wasn’t a time to be battling with anyone for position and Axel understood that to an extent. Lucan did not.
When Axel came out of turn two on the eighteenth lap, Lucan swept down under him pushing him up into the wall and then back down on the cushion. Usually that’s a move by another racer saying, “Hey, I’m down here and have position on you.” In open-wheel, it’s easier to see another driver as opposed to stock cars but you still can’t see everything. That’s where we usually rely on small taps from other drivers. That was not a small tap and ended up cutting Axel’s tire down and breaking the front control arm.
Axel sat up near the wall on the back stretch when they threw the caution and ended the practice session early to clean up the mess. He stayed in the car, which was probably a good thing when we heard the engines of the cars filing off the track beside us. My dad’s car pulled up right beside Lucan’s car. Dad revved the engine twice, before waving pointing to the track and then throwing his arms in the air. This was racer talk f
or “What the fuck was that?”
Tommy was down on the track helping Axel when Justin, Aiden and Spencer broke out into laughter at our sixty-three year old father picking a fight with an eighteen-year old kid over his grandson.
But you want to know who was right there asking Lucan “What the fuck?” as well?
Drivers that have watched Axel from the time he raced his first USAC race at age four...Ryder Christenson, Cody Bowman and Tyler Sprague just to name a few. Sure, these were my boys and thought of Axel as their own but that’s how racers worked.
Let’s just say that Lucan never made it past the second night of racing, he had no friends after pulling that move. No friends on a track is bad news any way you look at it.
Keeping Casten and Axel separated the rest of the evening was easy. Casten and Cole were quite the pair together and spent the majority of the week in Ryder’s pit—Casten thought Ryder was the greatest. Probably because Ryder and the boys had about the same maturity levels.
After the wreck with Lucan, Axel’s patience was non-existent.
Tommy and Greg went to work changing out the right control arm and gears for tomorrow’s heat races while Axel stood just outside the hauler signing autographs.
Most of the people surrounding him were the same that surrounded my dad and me as well but I noticed a girl standing awfully close to him that I didn’t recognize. Van was here with us, keeping his distance but I could tell he was aware of the situation.
“Who’s that?” Justin asked nodding the direction of the girl.
“I don’t know. Fan maybe...” my voice trailed off when the girl leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Axel flinched away from her indicating the kiss wasn’t wanted.
“Looks like he’s got the Riley charm with the girls,” Justin snorted walking away.
There was one bad thing about your son dating your best friend’s daughter, what if he broke her heart?
Knowing Axel, he had no intention of ever hurting Lily but then again I never had any intention of hurting Sway. I’d like to think that Justin understood that, after all we’d become pretty close over the last sixteen years.
I watched for a little while as fans and the media continued to crowd around Axel. He had just turned sixteen in December which meant he was the youngest driver here and that was news.
A group of girls around seventeen, maybe eighteen shuffled past me smiling. I knew what they wanted when they pushed their programs in my face.
“Is that your son?” the shorter black haired girl asked with a small smile.
Without looking up, I nodded. “Yeah,”
“Wow, you look too young to have a son.”
My eyes met hers for a moment before handing the program back to her with my autograph spread across the cover. “I’m damn near forty. I’m old enough.”
The blond one giggled. “You still married?”
Jesus she’s bold.
I laughed. “Yes.”
“What about your son?”
“He’s dating someone.”
This wasn’t the first time someone asked about Axel’s dating status. I actually got that a lot around the time he turned fourteen and won the Hut Hundred. There was no way around it now, my little spaz son was famous and sought after by women. Women Sway and I wanted to keep away from him.
Before Axel could get completely swamped by fans, I pulled him aside to get some food, alone.
We ended up at El Guapo’s Mexican restaurant in downtown Tulsa.
Axel was quiet until mid-way through dinner when his phone kept vibrating.
He finally shut it off and sighed.
“Girl problems?” I hinted taking a drink of my beer.
“You could say that...” he nodded pouring salsa and sour cream on his nachos. Another few minutes of silence and he opened up to me. “Lily...well I think she wants to date other guys, maybe closer to Hillsboro.”
Justin and his family still lived in Hillsboro Indiana. It was easier for them with the majority of the outlaw races taking place in the Midwest. This was not ideal for Axel and Lily but throughout the last sixteen years, they’d remained best friends and eventually began dating. Most of the time they went weeks without seeing each other but there were also a great deal of the USAC races that took place in the Midwest enabling them to reunite.
Time wasn’t about to get any easier for them and probably never would with Axel’s desire to race. This coming season he was set to race his first full season in all three of the USAC divisions. Time would definitely not be on his side.
“And how does Lily feel about this?”
Axel glared. “She’s with some kid named Brian tonight. She says he’s just a friend.”
“Just a friend?” My eyebrow raised in question.
“So she says.” I could tell Axel did not think Brian was just a friend.
“Is that why you shut off your phone?”
“No...yes. I just...” he sighed pushing his half eaten plate of nachos aside. “I just feel like I’m being pulled all over the place and she doesn’t understand that. I thought she understood but now, I just don’t know.”
“I’m sure she does buddy. She’s grown up around it as well.”
“I know.”
The waiter brought by another beer for me and refilled Axel’s Pepsi. “Did you talk to Casten?”
“No.” his eyes met mine. “I never meant to hurt him but Jesus...he’s got to stop sometimes.”
“He’s twelve Axel and he will always be your little brother. He doesn’t always know when to stop. Look at my siblings...they still piss me off daily.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Axel...you need to think before you react with him and Arie. They’re your family. And on the track, well the sooner you realize how mental this sport is compared to how physical it is, the better off you’ll be.”
Axel chuckled. “Grandpa tell you that?”
“Yeah, some of his timeless wisdom,”
When we headed back to the hotel, Lily sent him another text messages telling him she loved him and wished him good luck for tomorrow. “See I don’t get it,” he showed me the message. “She tells me she’s hanging out with other guys and then she tells me she loves me...what the hell?”
“Just give her space. Being sixteen is hard enough. Then you add on having a boyfriend who is a professional race car driver at sixteen and that’s a lot to handle. Think about how she feels with girls all over you?”
“She hates that.” He groaned. “Mom does too, huh?”
“I’m sure Lily does but your mom is different. Before being my wife, she’s my best friend and understands what I go through every day. She’s seen it from the beginning.”
Axel nodded again buckling himself into the front seat of the truck we drove here. He looked like he was going to respond to the message Lily sent him but he stopped and slipped the phone inside his coat pocket.
“Do you know that girl that kissed you on the cheek?”
He didn’t look over at me, just stared out the window as I pulled out of the parking lot. “Yeah, that’s Shaylee. Her dad is a sponsor rep for Wyle.”
“Do you know her well?”
“Not really,” he shrugged. “She’s at most of the races but we don’t talk that often.”
“Be...careful.”
Again, he didn’t say anything and part of me wondered if something had already happened between them.
I made a mental note to talk to Sway about this. She’d know what to say.
The rest of the week through all the heat races, Axel kept advancing. They had two hundred and sixty three drivers here this year with 10 main events planned for Saturday. The fastest four qualifying cars were in the A-main with the top two cars from each main advancing to the next main.
Since Axel broke the control arm in practice Monday, we had some trouble getting the set-up to the point where he felt comfortable so he ended up starting in the D-Main event.
What imp
roved his mood the most was when Lily showed up on Friday night.
Looking back on the way I acted at events like this when I was his age, Sway was always what I needed. It wasn’t any different for Axel.
Casten made an appearance shortly after Lily arrived. He smiled but surprisingly didn’t say anything.
Tommy and Greg were changing the gears on Axel’s midget before the last heat race when Axel pulled Casten inside the hauler with him leaving me and Aiden standing in his pit wondering if we should follow them after what happened Monday.
Even though you fight with your siblings, there was never a time when I didn’t love them. Yeah, I’ve hated them on occasion but I never wanted to hurt them. As I said before, Axel never wanted to hurt Casten.
After about three minutes, they came walking out and went different directions.
“What was that about?” I asked Casten making sure he was all right. Since he and Axel had gotten into it on Monday, he hadn’t been the high-spirited little boy he usually was.
Casten shrugged retrieving a Gatorade from the cooler beside the hauler and sitting down in a pit chair. “He told me he’s sorry.”
“And you said?”
“He better be.”
“Casten...if I remember Monday morning at all—I remember you actually started that.”
“So...” he gave me a blank stare.
I kicked his leg at me. “You should apologize too.”
“Geez dad,” he groaned throwing his head back annoyed. “What do you take me for, some kind of idiot? I said sorry.”
“Good,” I picked him up out of his chair and threw him over my shoulder. “Now...let’s go cheer on your brother.”
He laughed.
“Put me down,” he wiggled laughing again when I squeezed him harder. “You look ridiculous, put me down. I’m not a toy.”
My right hand scooped him into a headlock before setting him safely on the ground. He smiled but rolled his eyes straightening his hat. “Have some dignity.”
“Do you even know what that means?”
“No, but neither do you apparently.”
Everyone filed into the stands when the cars lined up. Aiden, Spencer and Van made their way to us with Lane, Cole, Logan and Noah close by. Who knew where Charlie had disappeared. Between the two of Aiden’s boys, Charlie was the worst. I had a feeling his was probably with my dad somewhere. Whenever Charlie was a handful for Aiden, dad stepped in and laid down the law with them. Most of the grandkids were petrified of Jimi, for good reason.