by Kate Douglas
Chapter 9
It was two weeks later when Marena awoke to excruciating pain. She curled into a fetal position at the corner of Phelan’s bed resisting the urge to scream out in agony, but was slowly losing the battle.
The pain had all but subsided during the last weeks as she and Phelan had remained virtually inseparable. They’d continued to search for Davis, and by “they” Marena meant the other lycans. Channing was steadily contacting other Devoted packs in the California area, asking questions about Davis and anyone he might have been associated with, while Malec, Blaez, and Kira worked to figure out what Davis’s endgame might be. They were all certain there would be an endgame, especially Marena.
He’d stayed in her head. Day in and day out she’d heard him calling to her. Only his voice hadn’t seemed as loud as it had before in the last couple of days. In fact, Marena had noticed that she wasn’t as irritated by his calling to her, declaring her his, and telling her that he was still coming for her. She hadn’t told Phelan about this new development. That thought came as a surprise to her, especially since lately she’d been telling Phelan a lot. In fact, she and Phelan had been sharing much more than Marena had ever thought they would.
“You’re bonding,” Blaez had told her yesterday morning right after breakfast.
It had been one of the first times that she’d been left alone with the alpha and she’d admitted to feeling just a little nervous in the first few seconds of their interaction. Blaez Trekas was a tall and imposing-looking man with his muscled physique, bald head, and thick goatee. The air of leadership was apparent in everything from his walk to the arch of his brow when he watched her as if he were actually looking inside of her, revealing everything he wanted to know about her without asking one single question.
“I know what that means in the human world,” she’d said with her back facing the mantel.
They were in Phelan’s room and Phelan was in the shower. In the mornings after breakfast she and Phelan had begun going for long walks throughout the forest. There he would explain to her more about the lycan world, the curse, and sometimes what might be coming with tomorrow’s supermoon. They did not talk about Davis during these times, which could be the reason Marena hadn’t told Phelan about the change in what she was feeling about the other lycan.
This was how she knew that things said in the human world often had different meanings in the lycan one. A huge part of her had begun to accept more openly that there were two worlds, both of which she would now have to deal with.
“It’s normally when a new blood begins to cling to the lycan that created it,” Blaez answered.
He’d slipped his hands into the side pockets of his black cargo pants that were tucked down into black steel-toed boots. The T-shirt he wore was also black and melded to his broad chest like a second skin. He looked as if he was ready for combat, sans a gun or some other type of weapon. The only other lycan in this house who dressed more like he was still in the Marines than the others was Phelan. So Marena was well used to this look. Only on Phelan it had a very different effect on her. Blaez struck her as a commander about to either give an unwanted assignment or unveil an enemy. She wasn’t certain which one was about to happen but squared her shoulders and lifted her chin to let him know she was ready for the confrontation regardless.
“He did not create me,” she’d replied clearly, as if she needed to reveal this fact to him.
“No,” Blaez said with a quizzical tilt of his head. “And that is what’s so very interesting about you, Marena Panos. You have been in this house for more than two weeks now and in that time I have been watching you. I’ve observed you with Kira and Caroline, Channing and Malec, and most certainly with Phelan. We were all shocked the night he brought you here and curious to see how this would unfold.”
“Nothing is unfolding,” she told him. “You’re trying to find a Hunter and I’m hoping that when you do I’ll be able to salvage what’s left of my career.”
The words sounded hollow to her ears and it made her unsteady. Marena had never heard from Gail. Phelan had given her a brand-new laptop to use and a secure Internet connection that would allow her to log into both her work and personal e-mail without being detected or traced. Unfortunately, with that she’d immediately discovered that her work e-mail account had been deactivated. The automated message received when Phelan had attempted to send her a message from one of his many e-mail accounts was that she was no longer with the firm and to contact Tammi Logan to find out which attorney in the firm had inherited Marena’s cases.
It had taken her a couple of days to deal with that bit of news, days when Phelan had remained closer to her than ever.
“You will never be able to return to your old life,” Blaez said as easily as if he were telling her the time of day. “That time has passed.”
No shit, she thought with an inward sigh. Since learning of her seemingly easy dismissal from the firm she’d dedicated countless hours to, Marena had thought long and hard about her next steps. She was still an attorney and still planned to practice, regardless of what might now be inside of her.
“I am still part of the human world. My family is human and there’s no way I’m going to walk away from them, or from what I’ve worked so hard for all my life.”
“No one is asking you to do that,” Blaez told her. “It will simply be on a different level at this point. As I said, you are bonding with Phelan. That is a very interesting development.”
“He’s helping me to embrace the change,” she stated, just as Phelan had told her often.
“Yes,” Blaez said with a nod of his head. “He is doing that very well. And you are adapting. I’ve seen you reading the books and speaking with the females. I know that you are coming to terms with what we are and what we are facing.”
“I’m doing the best that I can,” she admitted.
“You are doing a phenomenal job and I believe that is because of your connection to Phelan. I’ve never seen him this way before. He is different with you.”
Now Marena folded her arms across her chest. She did not want to talk about what was between her and Phelan on a personal level with Blaez. Hell, she and Phelan did a damn good job not discussing that particular topic between themselves; no way was she about to let someone else have that privilege.
“He is doing what has to be done,” she stated seriously, not liking the emptiness in the pit of her stomach as the words were released.
“Yes, Phelan will always do what has to be done. But with you, he is also doing what he wants to do. I can see it in the way he watches over you, how he protects you. It is the way a lycan looks at their mate,” he told her.
Marena didn’t openly flinch, but a barrier immediately went up in her mind. She’d heard this word many times since she’d been here. Kira and Caroline were sure to talk about this particular aspect of the lycan life with her as often as they could. So Marena knew how serious it was for a lycan to find and claim a mate. She also knew that this would never happen between her and Phelan because he did not do girlfriends, as she often reminded herself. And Marena was not looking for a boyfriend. It was as simple as that.
“I am not his mate,” she replied. “He is not looking for a mate. He doesn’t want one.”
“We don’t always get what we want,” Blaez stated flatly.
“Right,” she replied. “That’s why that bitch of a fury tried to maim him, because she wasn’t getting what she wanted.”
Since learning about what had happened between Phelan and Eureka, the fury, Marena had begun to despise the woman for being so petty. For days after Phelan had shared the truth with Marena she’d looked at that scar on his face and wanted to yell with how stupid and immature that act had been. Now, however, she really just wanted to slap some sense into the otherworldly bitch but doubted she’d ever have the chance to release that bit of tension.
Blaez arched a brow as if what she’d said had been extremely interesting to him. Marena frowned the s
econd she realized she’d just played right into his hand. He was here trying to tell her that Phelan was her mate, and despite her denial of that connection, she’d just responded like a jealous lover.
“All I’m saying is that she shouldn’t have done that. If he didn’t want to be with her she should have been mature enough to walk away. Leaving him scarred wasn’t going to make him want her.”
“Yet you want him even with the scar. Even knowing about his past and why he holds himself at a distance, you want him. You walk beside him every day. You sit with him during meals and sleep with him at night. You two are intimate on a level that he has never been before. I’m betting you haven’t been this way with anyone else, either.”
“We’re not going to do this,” Marena stated. “Whatever is between Phelan and me stays between us. It is none of your concern.”
Blaez took a step toward her then and Marena let her arms fall to her sides.
“Anything and everything that happens to one of my betas is my concern,” he told her.
“I’m not one of your betas,” she’d insisted in as respectful a tone as she could muster since the guy was the leader of this pack, even while totally pissing her off.
“You have yet to accept who and what you are,” he’d said simply before leaving the room.
Now, as the pain dominated every bone in her body, Marena wondered if what the alpha had said was correct after all. This wasn’t a human pain; she knew that instinctively. The cracking sound she heard each time she moved or even took a deep breath was that of bones breaking. The rapid beating of her heart and the heat soaring throughout her insides were beyond the tachycardia symptoms she knew well from all the medical malpractice cases she’d handled. When she opened her eyes everything around her spun out of control until she was certain she would lose consciousness, but she never did. She felt as if she might actually be dying and if that was true what the hell would she be reborn as? Because even through this heavy haze of pain, Marena knew without a doubt that it wasn’t over. It was just beginning.
* * *
Phelan heard her moaning. He felt the shift in the bed as she moved and his eyes instantly opened. Seconds later, when he could hear the rapid pace of her heartbeat as if she were hooked up to the surround-sound system in his room, he sat straight up in the bed and looked to where she should have been lying beside him. That’s when he’d seen her.
She was curled into a ball in the corner of the bed, shaking and moaning. Changing.
He rolled over and immediately pulled her back into his arms. Cuddled close behind her, he could feel her body trembling and wished like hell he could take this part away. He knew he couldn’t; every new blood had to go through it. These were the last stages of their body accepting the lycan. Phelan moved in closer, burying his face in her neck and holding her as tightly as he could, hoping his body heat was providing some sort of solace.
After weeks of being with her Phelan still had no idea why he was the one she needed to be near, but he’d long since stopped trying to figure it out. To be perfectly honest, he’d stopped thinking on that subject because Kira and Caroline had been so adamant about giving him their reasoning for this occurrence.
“You’re her mate,” Kira had said bluntly, two nights ago when Channing was just a few feet away explaining something in a book to Marena.
“I am not,” Phelan replied tersely.
“You can’t fight it,” Caroline added.
Phelan had sighed. “I’m not fighting anything. I’m simply trying to keep her comfortable until the change is complete.”
“And then what?” Caroline asked.
“You ever wonder why you’re the only one that can keep her comfortable?” Kira asked.
Phelan felt like he was in front of a firing squad.
“I found her, so I’m stuck with her. It’s as simple as that,” he’d replied, and hoped that it would end the conversation.
“Love is never simple,” Caroline said with a shake of her head.
Phelan did not hesitate. “I’m not in love with anyone.”
Kira patted him on the shoulder. “Maybe not just yet, but it will come.”
Phelan had instantly been alarmed. “What did you see?” he asked Kira, hating that he had to at least give her words the benefit of the doubt because she had that sight power. There was a very good chance that she had seen something that substantiated the claim she and Caroline were so adamantly trying to make. He had to admit if that was the case it would explain a lot.
Yet Phelan didn’t want that to be the case. Malec had brought this same issue up a couple of weeks ago when he’d asked why Phelan had thought he’d scented a Hunter that night when who he’d really scented was Marena, all on her own. He’d known then that something was up between them, because she did not have a Hunter scent but something definitely different and yet still totally alluring.
He’d thought she was his mate. Then he’d dismissed it. Or rather Eureka had. He’d put that thought in the back of his mind and dared it to resurface, until now, when he was staring into the eyes of the one person who could see if it was actually true. But Kira had only shaken her head.
“I have not seen you claiming her. But you will fight for her, Phelan. You will save her. And why else would you do that if she’s not your mate?”
The question had haunted him in the quiet hours of the night, while during the day Phelan had proceeded like there was no change in the situation.
Until now.
Holding her at this moment felt different. There was the need that he hoped he was fulfilling, but there was also something else. Something more.
“I can’t breathe,” she whispered, snapping Phelan out of his own thoughts.
He turned her quickly so that she was lying on her back. Brushing the hair away from her face, he ran his thumbs over her slightly parted lips. Her eyes were half-closed, long lashes feathering out. She was the prettiest woman in the world to him. Without one ounce of makeup or being dressed in stylish clothes and high-heeled shoes. Lying here with her hair all over the place and nothing on her mind but the impossible pain, she was the most enticing creature Phelan had ever seen. And all he wanted was for her pain to go away.
Leaning forward, he touched his lips to hers then. It was a slow touch and she stiffened, not sure what to expect. Phelan cupped her cheeks, keeping his eyes open and trained on hers. He parted his lips further, tilting his mouth over hers. He breathed in slowly then, one deep breath at a time. Her eyes opened wide with the first breath, but by the third try she’d relaxed and accepted. He was breathing for her, giving her each breath she needed to make it through each bout of pain. He had no idea why he’d done that, just that it had seemed like the right thing to do.
After a few more tense moments Marena’s eyes opened totally, her hand going to her face to push back more of the wild strands of hair.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” she said when Phelan pulled back from her.
“You’re continuing to change. Your bones are reshaping and preparing to go from one form to another. It’s a painful process, but you’re handling it like a true soldier.”
She smiled at that. “Am I going to get an honorary badge of honor or something like that for my courage in the midst of crazy-ass lycan gene shifting?”
Phelan smiled and realized that he liked seeing her do the same. “I’d give you a million medals of honor for all that you’ve been through.” Then he sobered. “I wish you hadn’t been put in this position.”
She blinked a couple of times before finally saying, “If I hadn’t been bitten, I wouldn’t be here with you now. Is that what you wish hadn’t happened?”
“No,” he replied immediately, Kira’s words coming quickly to mind. “I am not saying that. I want . . . I mean, I am fine with you being here. More than fine, actually.”
“In spite of all this,” she replied, “I think I’m more than fine with it, too.”
With those words and because he w
asn’t certain what else might come tumbling out of his mouth, Phelan moved on the bed, sliding his arms beneath Marena until she was cradled in his arms. He stepped off the bed and headed to the bathroom.
“We’ll shower and then take our walk before breakfast,” he told her. “I think we could both use the fresh air this morning.”
She nodded, resting her head on his chest.
“You may have to carry me, Phelan. I don’t think my legs are in the mood to cooperate.”
Entering the bathroom, Phelan switched on the light and dropped a kiss to her forehead. “To the ends of the earth, Marena. I’d carry you there and back if it would make you feel better.” And if he could somehow take back what had been done to her.
* * *
What made Marena much better was the feel of Phelan’s soapy palms rubbing over her shoulders and down to her heavy breasts. As his fingers grazed over her nipples she shivered where she sat in his lap on the bench in the shower. The stall was huge and made her wonder why she didn’t have a bigger one in her condo. Possibly because she’d never thought of showering with anyone before. Now, after these weeks with Phelan, who seemed to take particular pleasure in bathing her, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to live with a shower-for-one again.
He held each breast, cupping them in his hand, being sure to get soap beneath each mound. Then he was moving down her torso, the warm water and scented soap filling the stall with a steamy fresh scent.
“I’m going to forget how to bathe myself,” she said just because he was moving between her legs and she needed to say something to keep from screaming in ecstasy.
“I won’t ever forget how good it felt to have my hands on you this way,” he replied, and Marena couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness at his words.