by Rhonda James
“Derek, what made you go to that pawnshop?” She eyes me curiously.
“Well, that’s an interesting story.” My voice is soft as I tell her about Brantley picking out a ring for Cassie. “That pawnshop was the last one on our list. The whole thing was strange. You know. Like I was supposed to be there today. I saw that ring and knew right away something was wrong. I know how much that ring means to you.”
“It killed me to part with it.” Her voice trembles. “He only offered me eleven hundred, but I was desperate. I needed every last dollar I could scrape together.” She holds up her hand to look at the ring on her finger. “My Mom gave this to me on my sixteenth birthday. I’d been having a hard time with some girls I thought were my friends. I was basically alienated from every social circle I used to run with. False rumors spread quickly, which made it really hard for me to attend school. I was miserable and depressed and felt so alone. No matter how I looked at it, my situation felt hopeless. When Mom handed me this ring, she told me that life wasn’t always going to be easy. She said that sometimes when we’re faced with difficult situations, we’re called to reach deep within ourselves and find a resolve we never knew existed. She told me that as long as I had hope, nothing was impossible to overcome. I know she was right, but sometimes hope can be hard to hold on to.”
“I love you, baby. You know that, right? I will always, always love you.” My lips hover millimeters above hers, wanting to taste her again.
“I love you, too, D. But I’m afraid. What if our love can only handle so much baggage? I’ve just thrown a lot of really heavy stuff at you, and you didn’t even flinch. I know you had to be angry when you saw that ring at the pawnshop. You had to suspect something was going on. How is it I can just keep throwing things at you and you’re still here?”
“Of course I’m still here. Where do you expect me to go? When you love someone, you stand by them when times get hard. You don’t run away.” I look at her. Her eyes are so sad. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I cup her face gently in my hands and drop a kiss at the corner of her mouth.
“Laney, I already know about the baby.” I pull the tests out of my jacket pocket and show her my open hand.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
LANEY
I look down and see those stupid tests in his hand. Sitting there. Mocking me. Reminding me of yet another screwed-up aspect of my life. “Where did you get those? Were you inside my house?”
“Yeah, baby, I was. But only because I was worried about you. The guy at the pawnshop told me about your house, and then I called your work and talked to your boss. Baby, why didn’t you answer any of my calls?” His lips graze across my jawline.
His mouth is distracting me. Almost making me forget the reason I came running to this musty room. I came here, because I wanted to feel close to him. Stupid, right? When I could have just gone to him and he would hold me in his arms. Being in his arms is where I feel the safest. I love the way he makes me feel when he stares deeply into my eyes while holding onto me. Now that things have changed, will he still look at me the same?
Why did that test have to be positive?
I know the exact moment it happened. I know, because it was the only time he didn’t wear a condom; and at the time, I didn’t give a damn about the consequences. I only knew how good he felt moving within me, and I’ll never forget how it felt when he came inside me. Then he told me I finally had all of him. I’m willing to bet he had no idea how accurate that statement was going to turn out.
“I was afraid, because I knew when I heard your voice, I would cry and then you’d want to know why I was crying. I didn’t want to tell you, because I was afraid you would get scared and leave me.”
“Shocked? Yes. But scared? No fucking way.” His voice is gruff as his thumb grazes over my lower lip. I can tell he wants me to come back to him. He’d like nothing more than for me to stop talking and go back to kissing him. I’d like that as well. Kissing him is always tops in my book. When his lips are on mine, I feel free, as if I don’t have a care in the world. His kisses transcend me to another time and place, where only good things happen.
Where loved ones aren’t lost. Where money is no object. Where time stands still. Where unplanned pregnancies don’t occur.
And love always wins.
I push myself off his lap and walk across the room.
“How long have you known?” He follows me.
“Only this week. I noticed a few changes and then figured out my period was late. I’ve just had so much on my mind, I guess I forgot.” My voice fades. “I never meant for this to happen. I wasn’t trying to trick you into staying with me. It’s all just shitty timing.” I shrug and look away. Now that he knows, I guess I don’t feel much of anything. In fact, I almost feel numb. Like maybe this isn’t really happening.
“Why would you say that?” He gives my arm a gentle yank, forcing me to face him. “I could never think that about you.” His grip on my wrist tightens, and his mouth forms a thin line. “Never.”
“That’s what your mother will think,” I snap and try to twist my arm free, but his hold is too strong. “Let go of me.” We both look down at where his fingers are wrapped around my flesh. The skin beneath them is red and splotchy. He quickly lets go and shoves a hand through his hair, making the strands stick up in a crazy array.
“Oh Christ. Laney, I’m sorry.” He reaches for me again, but I step back. It’s not that I’m afraid of him; I just feel the need to put some distance between us.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about this. I guess I probably need some time alone to think. Weigh my options, you know?” I mumble distractedly. The color drains from his face when he realizes what I’m implying.
“No fucking way!” He jerks back, and his hands go behind his head as he paces the floor. “You didn’t do this, Laney. We did this. We made this baby. Together. You and me. Don’t you think I deserve a say in this?” He stares at me in disbelief.
“I already know what you’re going to say,” I croak. “That was another reason I was afraid to tell you.” I wrap my arms around myself and turn from him. “I knew if I told you I was pregnant, you would want to come swooping in with your money to solve all my problems. Then everything your mother said about me would be accurate. Don’t you see? She would never let me forget that. I would never be able to forget that. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your life.”
“Ruining my life?” His fists ball at his sides as he screams at the top of his lungs. I know he’s angry. Hell, I’m angry as well. “How can you say something like that? What have I ever said or done to you to make you think so poorly of me? I’ve done nothing but love you. From the moment I first held you, I’ve been in love with you. Ever since I met you, there’s been no one else worth thinking about. Goddammit, Laney. Don’t you get it? I would rather die than live my life without you. Everything I am. Everything I do. Everything I have. It’s all for you.”
“I never asked for any of that from you,” I whisper.
“Yet I still gave it to you!” He swallows hard and takes a step toward me. “I didn’t give you my heart because you asked for it. I gave it to you because you didn’t.”
“Your mom was right, you know? I’m not the girl for you. My problems shouldn’t have to become your burdens.” I reach over and take his hand in mine. I turn it over and stroke the underside of his wrist with my thumb. He doesn’t say anything while I trace the pads of his fingers with my fingertip, memorizing the way every callous feels against my flesh. I love his strong hands. “You’re a good man, Derek. You’re a strong man, and you have a heart of gold.”
“I’m none of those things without you. It’s you who makes me good. You’re the one who makes me stronger,” he whispers hoarsely.
I cradle his cheek in my hand and wipe away the tears as they fall. “Oh, baby. I may be your strength, but loving me is by far your greatest weakness.”
He captures
my hand in his and lifts it to his mouth. “That may be so, but loving you makes me happier than I’ve ever been. And I believe this baby will be our greatest blessing. I want a family. I don’t want that with another girl. I want that with you, Laney. We can be a family. Together. You. Me,”—he splays the full breadth of his fingers across my belly—“and our baby.”
“Everyone will say it’s too soon.” I run my fingers though his thick, blond hair and take a step closer to him.
“I don’t care what they think.” His hands settle on my hips. “Besides, Cage already knows and he’s happy for us.” He takes another step, bringing us even closer.
“Your mom—“ I start, but he cuts me off with a kiss.
“She’ll come around.” He nuzzles his way across my neck.
“What if she doesn’t?” I pull back, and he stops and studies my face.
“Then it will be her loss, because you, Delaney Dixon, are the smartest, sexiest, kindest, most loving woman I’ve ever known.” He cups my chin in his hand and flashes me a sexy smile. “And our baby is going to be the most beautiful baby in the history of babies.”
“You really think so?” I fist the front of his shirt in my hands and arch up on my tiptoes to kiss his chin.
He makes a scoffing noise and lifts me up to straddle his waist. “Are you kidding me? Have you taken a look at us lately? We’re fucking hot.” He chuckles and surprises me by rubbing the tip of his nose against mine.
“Are we really doing this?”
“Yeah, we’re really doing this.” He presses his lips to mine. “You’re going to be a mommy.”
“Yeah, I am.” I let out a nervous giggle. “And you’re going to be a daddy.”
“I like the sound of that. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure I would. But I like how it sounds when you say it.” He walks us backwards until my back meets the lockers. “I promise to take care of you and love you, both of you, for as long as I live. I won’t let you down, Laney.”
“I know you won’t, Derek. And I promise to love you, too. Both of you. For life or longer. Now, give me another kiss,” I command him.
“Jeez, bossy already. I like it.” He laughs and wets his lips.
“You know what they say, pregnant women need their daily dose of Vitamin D.” I smile against his lips.
“Well, then, baby, prepare yourself for an overdose,” he growls and kisses me harder, longer, and deeper than I’ve ever been kissed. Then he takes me home and spends the rest of the night showing me just how much he loves me.
Turns out, he loves me A LOT.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
DEREK
Dad pulls up next to me in the parking lot of the Stockbridge Savings and Loan at exactly nine a.m. the following Monday. I called him the morning after Laney and I found out about the baby. She mentioned her house had already been sold at auction, but I made an appointment with the bank president to see if there’s any way I can buy it back. Seeing as how I’ve never purchased a house before, I asked my dad to come along for moral support.
Laney knows I called my parents and filled them in on everything. At first, I was only going to tell them about her being pregnant, but she insisted I tell the truth now and get it over with. She said she was tired of keeping secrets. I did as she asked, and they took the news surprisingly well. Laney has no idea I came here today. I didn’t want to get her hopes up only to have them crushed again if my plan falls through. She also doesn’t know I asked Dad to come see me.
I join him on the sidewalk and give him a hug. I feel blessed to have him here with me.
“Thanks a lot for coming, Dad. I know it was short notice, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”
“No worries at all. You know I’m always here for you.” He hugs me again then steps back to take a look at me. I’m wearing a suit and tie, and I’m pretty sure it’s been a while since he’s seen me this dressed up. “My son is going to be a father. I can’t get over that. I’m thrilled for you, I hope you know that.”
“Yeah, I know you are. Thank you. It’s pretty surreal. I just hope I can be half the father to my kid you’ve always been for me. You’ve set the bar pretty high,” I tell him and immediately see him getting choked up. “How did Mom take the news? I know she doesn’t like Laney all that much.”
“Nonsense. She likes her just fine. She was just jealous. Scared of losing her only son. You know, your mother loves you an awful lot, and what you said to her really hurt her.” He gives me a look that leaves me feeling a twinge of guilt.
“I realize that. But I love Laney and need to show her I’ll stand beside her no matter what. We’re starting a family of our own. I’d like for Mom to be a part of that, but she needs to accept Laney first.”
“Don’t you worry about it. If I know Cecilia, she’s already plotting a way to win Laney over. She may not have let on last night, but your mother’s really excited about this baby. You know her and babies. This one’s going to be the most spoiled grandchild there is.” Dad laughs. “And I’m looking forward to every minute of it. Now, let’s go in there and buy my grandchild a house.”
Matthew Templeton is a heavyset man with a friendly smile. He looks to be about my dad’s age and has a nervous habit of clicking his pen repeatedly when he speaks.
“Well, Mr. Davis.” Click. Click. Click. “This generally isn’t the way we do business at this bank.” Click. Click. Click. “But everything appears to be in order. I’ve verified the funds are available for immediate transfer.” Click. Click. Click.
“Great. Where do I sign?” I lean forward in my chair.
“Well, we’ll have to get the paperwork drawn up.” He opens his calendar. Click. Click. Click.
I’m ready to reach across the desk and rip that pen out of his hand. Why the hell someone hasn’t given this man a different type of pen is beyond me. It’s beyond annoying. But maybe I’m just feeling anxious. After all, I am buying a fucking house.
Holy shit. I’m buying a house for my unborn kid. And my future wife. That is if she’ll say yes.
“Okay. How long will that take?” I drum my fingers loudly on his desk, hoping like hell it annoys the crap out of him.
“We could have it ready the day after tomorrow,” he offers.
I look over at my dad and give my head a quick shake, telling him that won’t work.
“Mr. Templeton, my son was hoping to have this taken care of this morning. He has family in town, and we’d all like to go out and celebrate this joyous occasion. You understand, right? What will it take to have this deal closed within the hour?” Dad gives me a wink that says I’ve got your back, and I’m reminded again of how blessed I am to have him in my life.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
LANEY
When Derek called his parents the other night to tell them about the baby, it got me thinking about my dad and how I should also tell him. I haven’t been to see him in a while. Not since the last time he basically told me to forget about him and move on with my life. Have I done that? Have I moved on? I’m starting to think so. I considered making the drive out to Cedar County, but then thought better of it. I’m feeling pretty happy today; no sense ruining that with a disappointing visit to see Dad. I know I probably shouldn’t think this way, but I hope one day he looks back and realizes how his actions affected me. And maybe one day he’ll regret pushing me away at a time when I needed him the most.
Elliott drove into town and surprised Derek. They went out for breakfast and a meeting with Coach Bishop, so I have the morning to myself. After showering, I head down to the kitchen and pull out a carton of orange juice from the fridge. I take down a glass from the cabinet and sigh when I spot the half-empty carafe of coffee that still beckons me. It’s been almost a week since I’ve been able to enjoy a cup of coffee, and I’ll be honest. I miss it. I’m hoping after the first trimester, I’ll be able to tolerate it again. I pour a glass of juice and carry it with me on my way outside. It’s a beautiful day, and I plan to sit on the porch sw
ing with my e-reader. My hands are full, so I use my hip to push open the door, and when I look up, I’m surprised to find Cecilia Davis waiting for me on my front porch.
Son of a bitch.
“Laney.” She removes her sunglasses to reveal a pair of blue eyes identical to the ones I am mesmerized by night after night. “I was hoping maybe we could talk. I promise I won’t take up much of your time. I just have a few things I wanted to say to you. Things I believe need to be said.” She offers a small smile and in it I can see traces of Derek.
I would love to tell her to go to hell and throw her off my porch, but I could never do that. After all, she is Derek’s mother and my child’s grandmother. So instead, I make a motion toward the porch swing, where only moments ago I’d planned on sitting and relaxing. Somehow, I don’t think this is going to be a very relaxing conversation.
“Can I offer you something to drink? Derek made a pot of coffee before he left this morning. I think it’s still warm,” I offer politely.
“No, thank you. I’ve already had my quota for the day on the drive here.” She gives an awkward laugh. I cut to the chase, deciding it’s probably best if I save us the trouble and put an end to the awkward small talk.
“Mrs. Davis, why are you here? What more hurtful things could you possibly say to me that you haven’t already said behind my back?”
There. I said it. I feel a little better already.
“You’re right. I said some awfully hurtful things about you and made you feel unwelcome in our home. For that, I am truly sorry. I was wrong,” she admits. She sounds sincere, and I want to believe her, but her words still stung. “I didn’t come here to attack you. I was hoping we could talk, so maybe you could understand why I acted the way I did.”
“Okay, I’m listening,” I concede after a short mental deliberation and take a seat next to her on the swing.