by Alana Serra
She explained with a silly smile that she'd been sneaking off to see if she could hack into some of the Freedom Fighter terminals remotely, to dig up information about the Nikhiza.
If the sudden, possessive kiss he gave her told her anything, Rhavos was proud of her initiative, and they dressed and ate before working through the rest of the morning and afternoon.
Some of Rhavos' men glowered at her wordlessly when they passed her in the halls, and she honestly didn't blame them. She'd put their Conqueror in mortal danger, and that wasn't even getting into the other things the Freedom Fighters had forced her to do. Finding this information, offering it to the Pathfinder as a show of good faith, was only a little altruistic on her part. It would also help to clear her name, and give the Karuvar and humans the information they needed to bury Dallas' terrorist group once and for all.
In the end, after hours spent locked in a battle of wills with Addison's terminal, Ren managed to recover correspondence between Dallas and what she and Rhavos both believed to be a Nikhiza ship. The messages were coded and would take some time to decipher, but Rhavos had pegged one of the participants as Varzhan, a notorious slave trader. That combined with a few other items gave them enough evidence to bring to Drol'gan.
In the early evening, Ren and Rhavos were given clearance to board the Zavellan. A lift took them up from a docking station, and Ren fidgeted nervously as they ascended, Everton and Waystation Helios growing smaller and smaller by the second.
"So. He still sees me as a traitor, right? This should be fun."
A week ago, she would hardly have cared if a Karuvar—even the leader of the Karuvar—thought ill of her. But lately, the Karuvar had treated her as more of an equal than her fellow humans. She still didn't like how dependent the implants made humans, but there were more immediate problems to worry about.
"Drol'gan is nothing if not fair-minded," Rhavos said. "He will hear what we have to say, and he will do what is best for our people, regardless of what he feels."
There was an edge to Rhavos' voice that said he'd experienced this firsthand, but Ren decided now was definitely not the time to push. Instead, she tried her luck with something else. Something that had been nagging at her since her conversation with Addison.
"If this goes well, I'd like to speak with him afterward. Alone."
Rhavos' scaled brow ridge rose in question, but he didn't outright deny her. Who would have thought the bull-headed Karuvar she'd met could actually listen to someone else's reasoning before passing judgment?
"I want to apologize and try to make amends," she said, though she didn't go into detail about just how she wanted to do that.
"You were controlled by the other humans. The Pathfinder will understand that," Rhavos said.
"But I'm still the one responsible. I wrote the code. I pushed it out to all the new implants."
The lift climbed ever higher, the atmosphere thinning as they reached past the clouds. Rhavos regarded her with one part concern and one part stubborn insistence, but Ren held firm. After a time, he nodded.
"I understand. You wish to defend your own honor, and I would not deny you that."
Ren smiled at him, reaching up to trace one of the straps of his harness. He watched her intently, and she was suddenly aware of him in a way she hadn't been before. She could feel him; could feel his reaction to her as his body came alive, all without truly touching him. A rush of heat suffused her skin, but before she could do anything about this discovery, the lift came to a stop and they were ushered aboard the Zavellan.
Drol'gan awaited them in a large, circular chamber. At its center was a beautiful and intricate starmap that took Ren's breath away. As a girl, she'd often looked up at the stars, viewing them as an escape. To know there was such a vast universe out there, charted and just waiting to be explored, it reawakened those childhood dreams she'd long ago dismissed as fanciful.
Unfortunately, the starmap wasn't the only unexpected feature of the room. She felt Rhavos tense not long after they entered, and she soon understood why. It wasn't just Drol'gan and another Karuvar—Drann, his son—meeting with them. The Pathfinder had five guards present, each of them armed to the teeth.
It made her feel uneasy, that balance of power shifting so far in the Karuvar's favor that she very seriously considered fleeing the room altogether. Only Rhavos' presence kept her there.
"Pathfinder," Rhavos said, touching a closed fist to his heart.
Drol'gan mimicked the gesture. "Conqueror. Please, have a seat, both of you. I understand you have discovered information that will be useful to us moving forward."
To Ren's surprise, the Pathfinder actually smiled at her. He gestured to a round table, one that put her on equal footing with Drol'gan and her mate. Rhavos began to explain what they discovered at the raid, leaving room for her to speak, as well, and the Pathfinder gave her his full attention every time, even asking questions that allowed her to stay engaged.
It was such a huge contrast from the amount of security in the room that it left Ren's head spinning, but the more they spoke, the more at ease she became, eventually presenting the correspondence she'd found.
"The information Conqueror Rhavos provided makes it seem like this is a slave ship," she pointed out, "and that worries me. I don't think it's a stretch to believe the 'Freedom Fighters' are dealing directly with Varzhan, possibly even selling humans to them in exchange for weapons and technology."
She spoke the words in a calm, composed manner, but only because she had to. If she thought about them too much—if she thought about the fact that they might have done the same to her, were she not useful to them—she would be sick again. She'd seen too many people enslaved in her lifetime, even if the militia refused to call it that. If she could find a way to stop this before it began, she would put her all into it.
"That is very worrisome, and entirely too plausible," Drol'gan said with a frown. "Drann?"
The Pathfinder handed the reins to his son, who shared his knowledge with a somber expression. "In creating the Matchmaker program, we've found that the Nikhiza are also suffering from a lack of fertility amongst their females. The more cooperative, peace-seeking clan leaders have tried to convince others that they should parlay with the Karuvar, but so far, none have actually been willing to meet. I guess we know why."
Rhavos' expression grew unreadable, even with that sudden awareness she'd gained of him. "They are taking females."
"If that's true, we have to act, and quickly," Ren said.
Drol'gan nodded. "I agree, but we must have enough information beforehand. Otherwise we are striking blindly, and I believe we will do more harm than good."
Ren couldn't argue with that.
"I will send this correspondence to my experts to be decoded. Until then, Conqueror, I give you leave to expand your forces. Do what you must to bring a successful raid through the vault, but be prepared. The Nikhiza may already be here, among the humans."
"Yes, Pathfinder," Rhavos said.
The rest of the meeting mostly involved Rhavos further debriefing the Pathfinder, and Ren eagerly absorbed the information he shared. Once they were through, Rhavos looked to her, and she nodded.
"I will make the arrangements," he said. "I believe my mate wished a word with you," he said before heading to the door.
Drann's brows rose, a smile on his lips at this news. Ren couldn't help the blush that rose in her cheeks, or the rush of pride she felt at being called that so openly. She'd never wanted to belong to anyone, but being Rhavos' mate didn't amount to being his property. She was his partner, his equal, and other Karuvar seemed to respect that.
When she looked at the Pathfinder, though, something about his expression made her breath come up short. He was smiling, much like his son. But there was no joy in his eyes. They were hard, and focused intently on her. So much so that she lost her voice for a few moments.
"I just… wanted to speak to you without Rhavos' influence," she began, trying to find her co
urage. "What's happened at my hands… I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for those actions. I know you may not trust me, but I—"
"You are correct. I do not trust you," Drol'gan said simply.
The words were so sudden, so precise, that they knocked Ren's entire speech off-balance. Even Drann seemed surprised, his eyes wide as he regarded his father.
"I… I'd like to make amends. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I believe I can create a firewall that will protect Karuvar and humans from any future attacks on their implants. It will take time to implement, and it'll need to be tested, but—"
"I thank you for the offer, and for everything you have done thus far, but I am not interested."
Ren sat, open-mouthed, completely at a loss for anything to say. When words finally returned to her, she stumbled over how to arrange them in compelling sentences. "I know it might sound risky at first, but it'll be a huge boost in security. If I can have time to create a working model, to show you what the code would do in practice—"
"As I said, I am not interested. I am sure Rhavos will need your help with the security systems, and I have many things to attend to, so if you will excuse me," Drol'gan said.
He began to rise, and Drann stood alongside him, his expression one of disbelief. "Father, I think we should hear her out."
"I appreciate your input, but this is not your decision to make," he said.
Ren watched as the Pathfinder turned his back to her and everything she could provide. Two guards advanced on her, likely intending to escort her out, but she didn't cower. She stood calmly, though her voice wasn’t quite as sedate.
"You don't trust me," she said again to Drol'gan's retreating back. "I get that. Believe me, I do. But I was forced to do those things. Do you understand? I was held against my will and used to achieve another man's goals."
Drol'gan turned back to her, and for a moment, she saw a flicker of sympathy in his eyes. "I do understand that, Ren. And if you are truly acting against your will, I hope that Rhavos' mission will sever those bonds."
"If…?" she asked, barely believing what she'd heard. "I've been brainwashed, mind controlled, forced to act without my consent for five years, and you're still leaving room for an 'if' here?"
Anger rose swiftly in her, and she could recall her mother's words as she'd tried desperately to get her to behave; to placate the militia as best she could.
Just give them what they want, mija. Don't act out, or bad things will happen.
With those words, she'd placed the blame solely on Ren. Not on the men who held all the power; who controlled her every waking moment. And Drol'gan was doing the same thing. Shifting blame to her, all in hopes of easing a potential conflict.
"This is not personal," Drol'gan said, his gaze almost pitying. "I must think of my people first. Once this is over, if it is as you say, then I would be glad to discuss future security precautions with you."
Ren just stood in that room, watching in stunned silence as Drol'gan left the room. Drann gave her an apologetic glance but followed his father.
She couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. And when one of the guards moved to escort her, Ren couldn't even pretend to play nice.
"Don't touch me," she said, her voice shaking.
She could feel those old fears creeping back in, heaps of doubt piled on top of them. Maybe this was her fault. Maybe she was being difficult. Maybe if she just complied…
No.
She wouldn't share the blame. She was as much a victim as the Karuvar, and if Drol'gan would not believe her, she would take a stand for herself.
And this time, she wouldn't be alone.
14
Ren walked through the halls of the Zavellan with her head held high and her gaze focused straight ahead.
Any other time, she would have taken the chance to steal glances at the world around her. She would've looked out the windows to see if she could make anything out on the ground below. She would’ve ogled the consoles and displays and flight controls, tried to get some idea of what each person was contributing to the ship, just for the chance to understand how an honest-to-God spaceship was run.
Right now, she didn't care about any of it. She felt like she'd just given the single biggest presentation of her life—one she'd worked on tirelessly for years—only to have the professor reject her outright. No, not just reject her. Treat her like she was the enemy. Shut down any chance she had of proving herself.
There was only one person she could stomach seeing, and that was Rhavos. He was waiting for her near the docking station, standing tall and silent, his hands folded in front of him.
As soon as he saw her, his expression changed from stoic to almost warm. His ears perked up, his scales shimmered, and he looked at her with hopeful eyes.
Some part of Ren wanted to rush into his arms and cry against his chest, but she refused to do it here; she refused to let the other Karuvar see her so weak. No doubt it would get back to the Pathfinder one way or another.
So she forced a tight smile and walked past him to the lift chamber. "Not here."
Rhavos followed wordlessly and—after a quick scan—they were led back into the glorified tube that would transport them back down to Earth.
A private tube, Ren realized, aside from the fact that the material encasing it was clear like glass. This far up, though, no one would see them, and she felt herself gravitating toward Rhavos' warmth.
Slipping her arms around his waist, she stepped into him, resting her cheek against his chest. She drew in his scent—leather and sweat and male—and found herself comforted by it. Comforted more by his strong, muscular arms coming around her. Rhavos' hard body might not make the best pillow, but right now she felt safe—like the Pathfinder's judgments and the looming threats of the Freedom Fighters and the Nikhiza couldn't touch her here.
"You are distressed," he said, his voice a rumble beneath her ear.
It probably wasn't that tough to figure out, considering. But a week ago, she wouldn't have thought him capable of it. Hell, most human men she'd met weren't capable of figuring out the obvious when it came to a woman's emotions.
"Yeah, well. Your Pathfinder made me feel like a criminal, so…"
Rhavos drew back so he could look at her. His scaled brow ridges were drawn up in confusion, his lips stretched into a frown.
"What happened?" he asked.
As much as Ren yearned for his support—for someone to make her feel like she had some stability in a world that had been turned upside down—her stomach was working itself into knots over the idea of telling him.
The idea of describing how casually the Pathfinder dismissed her, how quick this individual Rhavos had described as "fair" was to judge her… it made her a little ill.
But if she didn't say anything, he wouldn't know, so she soldiered on.
"I offered to help the Karuvar—to help everyone with an implant—by writing a firewall into the code. Something that would stop the Freedom Fighters or the Nikhiza or anyone else from targeting us in that way."
Rhavos' brow furrowed even more. "You did not speak of this to me."
That statement took Ren by surprise. She'd told him her idea, hadn't she? As she stopped to think about it for a moment, she realized she hadn't.
Brushing it off as an oversight on her part, she said, "I should have run it by you. Maybe… I don't know. Maybe you could've helped me come up with a strategy to get Drol'gan to listen."
"He would not permit you an audience? That does not sound like him."
"Oh, he 'permitted me an audience,'" she said, bitterness in her tone. Rhavos tensed some beneath her. "He just shot me down before I had a chance to explain myself. He said he doesn't trust me, and that he'll be happy to think about it again after the raid, if it turns out I'm telling the truth about the whole mind control thing."
She didn't expect Rhavos to gasp in shock or do that territorial growling thing he did, but she expected… something. Some kind of acknowledgment.<
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"Is that what he said?" he finally asked. "That he would consider your proposition once the raid is completed and the humans are no longer a threat?"
His tone wasn't that different from earlier, but something about it struck Ren. She stepped back from him, out of his embrace, and regarded him with caution.
"Yes. He said he can't put his people at risk, and that he'd discuss it with me again once this was over. But by the time we take out Dallas and the other Freedom Fighters, the Nikhiza are going to have multiple chances to attack us. We have to protect our implants now, or we're just rushing into this battle and begging to be killed."
Right now, the Nikhiza held the power. They were pulling the strings. If they wanted to go up against them, they needed to protect themselves. It was the same as learning to fight or donning armor before going into battle.
Rhavos had to understand that.
"You will not want to hear this, but I agree with the Pathfinder."
Ren felt like she'd been slapped. Hard. Not only did he not understand, but he was siding against her? She paled, her limbs feeling shakier than she wanted to admit, that sick feeling returning in the pit of her stomach.
"You're right. I don't want to hear it," she said tersely.
"Ren," he said, speaking her name in a rumbling purr, as if that would get through to her. "It is only a precaution. Now that we know of the Nikhiza's involvement, we can protect ourselves against them in the short term. Once the rebel humans are gone, we can consider long-term options."
He tried to touch her arm and she pulled away from him, suddenly wishing this damn tube would move a lot faster.
"A precaution. To guard against me. No puedo creerlo… Do you just… what? Think I'm going to turn on everyone once I get access to that code?"
"Of course not," he said, his tone firm, "but the Freedom Fighters would not hesitate to do so."
Ren let out a humorless laugh. "I fought them off last time. I did that. Do you really have no faith in my ability to do it again?"