Keep It Together

by Matthews, Lissa

“I thought you were going to ask if it was weird for me to have sex with my brother’s ex-fiancée.”

  Once she righted herself and was able to get her pants up and secured, she took in the man who had been pressed and properly attired when she exited the shower but who now was rumpled and wrinkled and completely delectable. He sat down on the edge of the bed and fiddled with his fingers between his knees, all the while looking up at her.

  “No, I…” She thought about denying it but decided it was better not to. “Was it?” she asked instead. “Was it weird?”

  “I’ve told you already that I wanted to kiss you the first time I met you and that I wanted to take you to bed the day after he left you. If anything was going to be weird at all, I think I would have felt it one of those two times.”

  “I guess that’s true.”

  “But I was wondering if…if maybe you were thinking of him last night or this morning.”

  She sat next to him. “Yes. I did think about him a few times.”

  “And? Am I better in bed?” When she didn’t answer him right away, he lightly shoved his shoulder into hers. “Tell me. I’m a big boy. I can take the truth.”

  “Can you? Are you sure?”

  “I am. Wait… Let me mentally prepare myself.” After a few seconds of deep breathing and Chrissie trying not to laugh herself silly, he nodded. “Okay. I’m ready.”

  “I was thinking how happy I am that he ditched me.” He turned toward her as soon as the words were out of her mouth, his blue eyes full of surprise. She liked that she could do that to him. He’d certainly surprised her. Several times.

  “You’re happy he ditched you?”

  “Well, not in the way he did it or on the day he did it or with whom he did it, but yes, I am.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I think he really might have been the wrong brother for me.” She’d thought of looking away from him when she said it. For all he’d said about wanting her and how much and in what way, telling her how he felt when he first met her… “I’m gun-shy.”

  Colt burst out laughing. “That is the most… Gun-shy? You? I know you’ve got to have a gun safe in your house somewhere. Shy is not what you are.”

  “I didn’t mean guns guns, dumb-ass.” Smart-assness dripped from every word. “I meant with men. I’ve gone out on maybe three dates since March, and none of them even remotely interested me.”

  “I know. It’s why I hadn’t come to Savannah thinking to sleep with you. I didn’t want to push you. I didn’t want to make it awkward for you.”

  Chrissie took his face in her hands and touched her lips lightly to his. “If there is a right brother, you’re him. Russ was definitely the wrong one.” She kissed him again, this time lingering over the taste of him. Toothpaste and Colt. Rich and warm and sexy. “I have to get going or I’ll be late.”

  “You’re really going straight to work without panties?”

  “Yes. At least until my break. I’ll scoot down to one of the department stores and get a pair.”

  “Please don’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I like the idea of you without them. I know it’ll be a little uncomfortable, and you’ll feel exposed and naked even though you’ll be covered and no one will be able to tell, but it’s sexy.”

  She shrugged and retrieved her purse from the chair her clothes had been in. “Okay. For you.”

  “Thank you. We’ll go shopping for a replacement pair next time I’m in town.”

  “Mmm. Sounds fun.” She didn’t think it sounded fun at all. She really thought it sounded embarrassing. She didn’t have body issues, not often. She knew she was heavier than the average woman and had her problem areas, but she’d never thought it made her less of a woman or less of a good person because of it. Him going panty shopping with her, seeing what size she actually wore?

  Then again, maybe it would be fun. He liked her without clothes, and he liked her with just bra and panties on. It likely wouldn’t matter to him the number on the tag so long as he got to touch her. That was such a sexy thought to her that she planted another kiss on his lips. Hard but lingering.

  “What was that for? Not that I minded and not that you can’t kiss me anytime you want, just curious.”

  “Felt like it.”

  “Good enough. Hand me your phone.”

  “Why?”

  “So I can put my number in it. You might want to talk to me sometime.”

  She handed the phone over. “More like you’ll want to talk to me.”

  “No doubt in my mind about that. In fact, I’ll want to talk to you again the second you close the door behind you.” It took but a few seconds for him to enter his phone number and e-mail information.

  “What about putting my number in your phone?”

  “I’ve already got it. Russ gave it to me when y’all first became engaged. He said he wanted me to be able to get in touch with him even if he wasn’t answering his own phone.”

  “Oh.” She’d love to know what else Russ had said about her to Colt, but she didn’t have time to ask. “I’ll, uh… I’ll see you.” She leaned up and stole a kiss. At the door, she turned to him. “I think I’m going to miss you.”

  “Not for long.”

  She struggled to break eye contact with him but finally did and turned the doorknob. On the other side of the door, she stumbled when she got a look at what was there. Or rather, who was there. “Russ,” she croaked.

  “Christina? What are you doing here?”

  “I, uh…” She looked helplessly, wordlessly back at Colt but couldn’t read the expression on his face any more than she could discern how she was feeling other than off balance and ready to run. She glanced back at Russ, then ducked out the door. “I was just leaving.”

  Her heart pounded and echoed in her ears. The walk to the elevator seemed longer than it had last night, and she just hoped she could get there before one of the brothers came after her.

  Russ.

  Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, and she did her best to keep them from falling until she was safely outside and in her car. The walk wasn’t far, but just like the elevator, it seemed a million miles away.

  Had Colt planned it? Russ showing up? No, he couldn’t have. He hadn’t known what time Chrissie had to leave. But then, she’d told him she had to work tonight, not this morning, so… “Shit,” she whispered.

  Seeing Russ after all this time was harder than she’d expected it to be. She was over him. She didn’t have any doubts about that, but being that he’d walked out on her on their wedding day, whether it was the best thing to have happened to her in the long run, those feelings of humiliation, hurt, and betrayal screwed with her brain right now.

  She’d known she would have to see him again, but in all honesty, she had been hoping it would be later rather than sooner. The morning after fucking the hell out of his brother wasn’t exactly the most opportune moment, not with the feel of Colt’s fingers on her, the ache in her nipple where he’d been pinching, the tingle on her lips from his kiss.

  She’d planned out for months what she would say when she saw Russ but had found herself tongue-tied at seeing his face. That she had to go into work now, smile and be polite and kind when all she wanted to do was go home, load her shotgun with shells and put a few extra holes in her wedding dress, well, surely that was a normal feeling in a situation like this. Right?

  Chapter Seven

  “What the hell was she doing here?” Russ demanded as he stomped his way into the hotel room. “And why does it smell like sex in here?”

  Colt stood against the desk, calm on the outside, wondering at the damage control he needed to do with Chrissie on the inside. “Good to see you too, Russ. Didn’t think you’d be showing up so early.” He crossed his arms over his chest and gave his best casual but on guard look to his brother. “We had dinner last night,” he said by way of explanation.

  “Did she spend the night?”

  “Very astut
e, counselor.”

  “Jesus, Colt. How could you do that?”

  “Excuse me?” Colt didn’t get angry very often, but the third degree from an angry Russ was unexpected and irritated him. He’d wait it out, see how things went, but backing down wasn’t going to happen. “How could I do what?”

  “You know what. How could you sleep with my fiancée?”

  “I’m sorry, but you forfeited that claim when you left her in the church wondering where in the hell you were. However, since it seems to have escaped your attention, she’s no longer your fiancée. Nor do I owe you an explanation on something that isn’t any of your business.”

  “You know what I mean. It’s uncool. She was mine.”

  “The operative word being ‘was,’ and you left her for a dancer in Vegas.”

  “That was a mistake.”

  Colt scoffed. “Clearly.”

  Brother stared at brother for long, tense minutes. Colt was ready to defend Chrissie but unwilling to defend their budding relationship. And it was a relationship. Everything he felt about her and everything he sensed she felt about him signaled relationship, and he’d be damned if Russ was going to get a say in it.

  He didn’t know what his brother was feeling. Part of him didn’t care. What he wanted most was to call Chrissie, to make sure she was all right. The deer in headlights look she’d given him when she opened the door to find Russ standing there was one Colt didn’t want to see again, but he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head.

  “So what? You and Christina…?”

  “If I have my way, yes.”

  “What an asshole you are.”

  “How does that make me an asshole?” He kept as conversational a tone as he could muster. He wasn’t going to become belligerent or defiant. He wasn’t in the wrong. No one was. Russ needed to vent and Colt was good with that. “You gave her up,” Colt reminded him. “You walked out on her. You left her standing in a church in her wedding dress on her wedding day. And you think I’m the asshole? You left it up to our sister to give her the news that you weren’t coming. You sure as hell didn’t call me about it.”

  Russ sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “No.” He stalked to the window and looked out over Bay Street. “I knew how you’d react when you found out.”

  “You’d have been right too.”

  “You must have been happy when I screwed up.”

  “Why would I be happy about that?” He was, secretly. It meant he had a shot with a woman who deserved better than Russ.

  His brother was great at his job, great as a friend, even great as a sibling, but when it came to relationships? Russ left a lot to be desired in the Romeo role. “Because it meant you could have her. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you couldn’t take your eyes off her at the party that night.”

  Colt was stunned, certain for the longest time that the visual attention he’d paid Chrissie had gone unnoticed. For an instant he felt the guilt that he was sure he was supposed to feel at having been called out on his action; however, that feeling dissipated as quickly as it had come. “Fine.” Now it was his turn to stun his ever-suave brother. “You caught me. Yes, I stared at her when I thought no one was looking. I wanted her the second I saw her, and I was envious that it was you and not me. It was the first time I’d ever wanted one of your women. But I didn’t do or say anything untoward, nor would I have. Ever. You know me better than that, Russ.”

  Russ nodded, and his cheeks colored slightly in the morning sun streaming through the windows. “I know. You’re the good brother. I was actually proud that she caught your eye, that you couldn’t look away from her. I’d never seen you look a woman, at any woman, like that. What does that say about me?”

  “I don’t know. I never wanted to see her brokenhearted. I never imagined that you wouldn’t actually marry her. I thought you loved her. I thought the two of you loved each other, and maybe you did, but to leave her like that? Man, you didn’t see her the day after. You didn’t see her red, blotchy face from crying. You didn’t see the dejected look in her eyes. I did and I would never wish that kind of hurt on anyone.”

  “I know.” Russ ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I was a coldhearted bastard. I never planned to do that to her. I did plan to marry her. I loved her. As much as I can love anyone. She was so beautiful in that wholesome, Southern girl way, you know? So different than the wives and girlfriends of the people I hang around with, and I thought… I thought different was a good thing. But it wasn’t what I really wanted. I wanted to fit in and different didn’t do that. I saw how much she would have rather escaped the engagement party than mingle with a roomful of people she didn’t know. I saw it at the rehearsal dinner too. She didn’t want to be there, not like that. Me, though? I loved it. I was in my element. She would never be the schmoozing kind.”

  “From what I understand, her mother is.”

  Russ laughed. “And she’s a beautiful woman too, but she’s married. I don’t think that would go over well with the mayor.”

  “No, probably not.”

  “You know Chrissie plays with guns, right?”

  Colt smiled. “Yes, I do know.”

  “You and I. We’ve always had the same taste in women.”

  “Up to now, yes. Tastes change for some people. I don’t want the jet-setter or the boardroom brawler or the schmoozer. She doesn’t have to be the popular one for me anymore. But I think you still want one like that, the socialite, the one all the men want on their arms, and there’s nothing wrong with that, Russ. I want the different one.”

  “So you grew up, and I’m still a teenager.”

  “You said it, not me.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Russ sobered. “So, she’s over me?”

  Colt raised a brow in skepticism. “You think it’s that hard for a girl to get over you?”

  Russ’s easy grin was back, and he spread his arms wide. “Just look at me.”

  Colt’s bark of laughter echoed around the room. “Yeah, you’re a prize,” he agreed with no little bit of sarcasm. “She is over you.” At least Colt hoped she was. She’d said she was, more than once, and he’d believed her. Now that she’d come face-to-face with Russ, would she say something else? Why didn’t she kick him in the shins when she saw him at the door? Why didn’t she slap his face, spit at him, call him a jerk, an asshole, something, anything? Why didn’t she do more than look back, uncertain and almost sad? “Maybe the real question should be, are you over her?”

  Was she was afraid Colt had set her up? Was that why she had that look he couldn’t stop thinking about? He hadn’t, of course, but he could see how finding Russ there would have been a bit of a curveball and one she hadn’t seen coming.

  “Yes. No. I don’t…” Russ sighed and planted his hands on hips. “I think so. I think I knew it wasn’t right long before the wedding day actually arrived. I just didn’t know how to call it off.”

  “What you did worked brilliantly.”

  “Yeah, seems to have. What are you really doing here? In Savannah, I mean. You said you had a meeting but… And why didn’t you call me until this morning to tell me you were in town?”

  “It was a last-minute decision.” For the first time since Russ walked in the room, Colt couldn’t meet his eyes. Not out of guilt, but the current circumstance was odd. He hadn’t wanted Russ to find out this way. He’d have preferred to tell Russ rather than Russ coming face-to-face with Chrissie as she was leaving Colt’s hotel room.

  “Colt? Oh my God, bro. You came for her, didn’t you? For Christina?” The shock was genuine, and Colt wouldn’t deny it. “This isn’t just a business trip, is it? How bad do you have it for her?”

  “Pretty bad,” he admitted, meeting his brother’s gaze head-on. There was no use in keeping it a secret.

  “And does she have it just as bad for you? I mean, I guess she would have to since she was here all night.”

  Once more, Colt buried the uncertainty. “I think so.” He hoped to hell he was
right. He didn’t want to go through life not having her again. He didn’t want to go through life knowing he’d had one night with her and then lost her.

  “Damn. Amber know? Mom and Dad?”

  Colt gave a slight shake of his head. “No one does yet.”

  “Why’d you call me this morning if she was here? Were you hoping I’d stop by before she left or while y’all were still in bed? Were you hoping to rub it in my face that you came out on top?”

  “Came out on top? Oh hell, Russ. You’re not still talking about the company, are you? You didn’t want Daddy’s business. I offered you and Amber each a third when he turned it over to me, but you didn’t want it. As for Chrissie, no, I didn’t want you to catch her here or catch us in bed together. I asked you to come around eleven, not ten And I asked you to meet me downstairs.”

  Russ flushed, and it wasn’t a look Colt had ever associated with him. Russ was always so in-your-face and didn’t hide anything. He walked in a room like he owned it, and Colt had no doubt that’s what made Russ so good at his job. But this…? Finding Chrissie with Colt and finding out that Colt and she had something going on seemed to have thrown his brother for a loop.

  Colt could understand that.

  “I had a last-minute meeting schedule with me at eleven. I didn’t think you’d mind if I showed up early. I guess I was wrong.”

  “No. I don’t care that you got here before she left. It saved me from having to tell you later, but I didn’t want it for her. She seemed a little freaked out.”

  “This is such a fucking mess.”

  “I don’t see why that is. You said you were over her, and she’s over you.”

  “Maybe I want her back,” Russ tossed out defiantly.

  “Good God.” Colt ground his teeth together until a muscle began to tick in his jaw. He even counted to ten in his head. Russ was pushing for something and he guessed he could understand that. They’d never competed for anything, not their father’s affections, not women. “Why? Because you’re pissed that I have the hots for your ex?”

  “Careful, Colt. Little unsure of yourself? You ’fraid you’ll lose?”