by R.S. Grey
“Oddly enough, I don’t miss you anymore,” I joked.
“Lies. I’m your best friend. Mom and Dad would be proud,” she said lightheartedly. I smiled at her confidence. We used to not talk about our parents very often. After the car accident eight years ago, we’d both ventured through dark periods in our lives, dealing with grief in our own ways. Cammie had gone through a wild phase, and I’d focused on my music. For a while, I wasn’t sure Cammie would surface from her depression. For two years, I hadn’t said my parents’ names for fear that it would awaken those sad feelings again.
“You’re right. They would be. Good luck in the studio and please don’t sleep there again.”
“I won’t. Good luck with Jason and definitely do sleep there. Haha, did you see what I just did?”
She laughed all the way up until I hung up on her.
Chapter Eleven
I decided to take part of Cammie’s advice while getting dressed the next morning. Obviously, I didn’t wear riding crops because I didn’t just have those lying around, but I opted for a tight pair of yoga pants. I noticed Derek checking out my ass on my way to the kitchen for breakfast so I knew they’d do the trick.
I sat down at the kitchen table and LuAnne placed a cup of granola and yogurt in front of me. I smiled up at her.
“Eat up. I heard you’re going on a ride this morning,” she said, patting my shoulders before heading back to flip over the pound of bacon sitting in the frying pan. I hadn’t quite figured out how Derek could survive on his all-bacon-all-the-time diet.
“You goin’ on a ride?” Derek asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, Jason is taking me out after breakfast.”
Derek nodded. I opened my mouth to continue, but I didn’t get the chance to expand on the subject because I saw Jason walking down the stairs out of the corner of my eye. He was freshly showered, his damp hair a shade darker than usual. He was wearing worn jeans that I hadn’t seen him in before, a white button-up, and an army green Patagonia down-vest that looked like it’d keep him warm during our ride.
When LuAnne cleared her throat, I realized I’d been watching him with my spoon hovering half-way to my mouth while drips of yogurt were spilled over onto the table in front of me.
“You okay there, Brook?” LuAnne asked me with a teasing grin.
I didn’t bother answering her, I threw her an indifferent shrug and for the next ten minutes I focused on my yogurt like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Which wasn’t easy considering Jason sat directly across from me after he’d grabbed his breakfast. I could feel his leg against mine under the table and I had to fight the urge to move mine away. I didn’t want him to think I cared that he was touching me. But I really, really cared.
“That must be some good yogurt,” Jason joked, forcing me to look up at him. I should have staved off because when I met his gaze there was no denying my interest. Hello, heartbeat, yes, I know you’re pounding extra fast because Jason is freshly showered and I can smell his body wash and his hair is drying in this perfect way that makes me want to reach over the table and lick him.
Oh, right, he’d spoken to me.
“Huh?” I asked like a weirdo.
He smiled and shook his head. “You were just concentrating pretty hard on that bite.”
Recover. Don’t let him know that you’re basically in love with him.
“Ah, yeah. I was probably just thinking about how I’d rather have some of your pancakes instead of this.” Nice, Brooklyn. That sounded at least half-true.
He nodded and went back to his breakfast, but right before he was finished he offered me his last bite on his fork. Oh my God. Jason = hot. Jason feeding me pancakes = nuclear. I forced my body to react so I could lean forward and take the bite off his fork. I didn’t bother trying to be seductive with it. I would have probably poked the fork in my eye or something.
“Ready to go?” he asked after I’d sat in silence for a few minutes, my plate and bowl empty in front of me.
“Yup,” I said with an overly enthusiastic smile.
He tucked his head in agreement and then sauntered down the hallway, assuming I’d just follow after him like a puppy.
LuAnne pursed her lips to keep from laughing when I shot her a knowing glance.
“I think that’s your cue,” she joked.
“Wish me luck. Maybe send out a search party in a few hours if we aren’t back,” I said, only half joking. Seriously, there was about a 50% chance that I would annoy Jason enough to where he’d just leave me in the woods to fend for myself. I’d have to figure out how to drink my own pee and stuff. Nope. No, thank you. I’d rather be eaten by a leopard. Wait, we’re in Montana… so a mountain leopard? Whatever, something with sharp teeth.
“Coming?” Jason asked as he opened one of the closets in the hallway. He reached in and retrieved a vest that matched the one he was wearing, only it was dark brown instead of green. “I don’t want you complaining about being cold the whole time we’re out there.”
I huffed. “I think somewhere in there you were trying to be sweet, but then you ruined it with your mouth.”
A private smile played on his lips. “That’s the first time I’ve been told that my mouth ruined something.”
“Oh my God, did you seriously just say that?” I asked as he opened the vest so that I could spin around and slip my arms through the holes.
He looked back at me with an arched brow as he pulled open the front door. “It’s the truth.”
I puffed out a breath of air as I sauntered past him. Of course it is.
…
In brooding silence (because that’s really the only way Jason did things), we made our way toward the stable to get the horses ready. Jason strapped on the saddles for each of us and I took a few minutes to get to know Dotty. I didn’t know much about horses, but if this girl was about to haul my ass through the forest, I figured she at least deserved a few pats before we got started.
“You’re cute, Dotty,” I told her, rubbing my palm down her long neck. “Maybe when we get back, I’ll braid your mane.”
Jason grunted across the stable. When he turned to grab something off the wall, I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Shh, don’t tell,” I whispered to Dotty, and in response she stomped her hoof. Look at us, we were already besties.
“When did you last ride?” Jason asked, walking toward me with Jasper in tow. The dark horse was at least a few inches taller than Dotty, and he filled out those inches in a way that made me glad I wasn’t going to be riding him. When he puffed air out of his snout, I took two steps back just in case I looked like a juicy apple or a big ol’ sugar cube.
“Umm, let’s say I was wearing a training bra and braces at the time.”
Jason frowned. “Alright, well we’ll take it slow out on the trail. Dotty shouldn’t give you too much trouble.”
I patted Dotty. “Nah, she and I have an understanding.”
“Is that right?” he asked, arching a dark brow and taking two more steps toward me.
I nodded with a smug smile. “Yup. She’s on Team Brooklyn now.”
He chuckled lightly. “I didn’t realize we were on teams.”
“Yeah, well, I guess that means I’m already winning.” Dotty snorted and stomped her foot again. She was probably ready to get on the trail, but I took it to mean she was definitely Team Brooklyn.
“Let’s walk them out and then I’ll help you get up.”
Despite my best efforts, I still blushed thinking about my conversation with Cammie the night before. I was not going to let Jason get to third base on the side of a horse. I mean maybe on the back of a horse… No. No base running during this horse ride.
Once we stepped out of the stable, I inhaled a breath of fresh air and took in the scenery before me. A short mountain range spanned the horizon on all sides, but the base was hidden behind rows and rows of pine trees. A gravel path led from the stable out into the woods, but only the
first few yards were visible from where I stood. A blast of wind brought with it a chill and the sharp smell of pine. I wrapped Jason’s vest tighter around me. It was too big, but it smelled like him, or so I assumed. It had a spiced, captivating scent.
“Okay, are you ready?” he asked. He’d tied Jasper to a post so he could come help me mount Dotty.
Before I could answer, his hands were at my hips, sliding beneath the vest. A thin layer of my yoga pants separated his warm palms from my panties and I knew without a doubt he could feel my thong. Why hadn’t I just gone commando? Oh right, because Cammie had scarred me last night.
“Yeah, okay. Sure, let me just—” I was rambling, but I had no clue how to mount a horse. I’d used a step-ladder when I was younger.
“Hold onto the horn of the saddle and I’ll lift you up.”
I nodded and then he counted down to one. Our timing was off though, and I freaked out when he lifted me off the ground. He ended up placing me in the saddle on my stomach with my chest on one side of Dotty’s body, and my legs hanging off the other side.
“You’re supposed to lift your leg up and straddle her,” Jason said as if I didn’t actually know that.
“Oh, really? I thought everyone rode horses with their asses in the air.”
“Well, technically it’s in my face,” Jason corrected with a tad too much amusement for my taste.
“Oh my God, stop looking at my ass and back up so I can swing myself around.”
The jerk just laughed as I performed the awkward task of adjusting my body on top of Dotty. I decided that was probably the moment when Jason finally thought, “Yeah, I will never be dating this psycho.”
“Sheesh, sorry about that girl,” I said to Dotty when I was finally sitting up like a normal person. Once I was positioned correctly, it wasn’t so bad. My feet reached the stirrups okay. I slid my sneakers into the straps, and after Jason adjusted a few things on my saddle, we were ready to go.
Jason hopped up onto Jasper easily, which ruined the jokes I’d started to stockpile about him failing. I should have known Jason Monroe didn’t fail at anything.
After a few instructions about how to use my heels to communicate with Dotty so she’d know if I wanted her to speed up or slow down, we were off on the trail, winding through the woods. The gravel path gave way to dirt and the smell of pine grew even stronger.
“This is so beautiful. I’d come out here every day if I could,” I said as I dipped my head low to avoid colliding with a tree branch coming up on our left.
“Glad you like it,” Jason said, turning to peer at me over his shoulder.
Jasper and Dotty carried us across a shallow creek and then we turned down a new trail that was even thinner and less cleared out than the one before. Every few feet I had to dip my head to duck under a branch, but it was too fun to turn back.
“So were you planning on getting to know me or did you just want to lead me out into the wilderness for fun?”
He laughed, “Isn’t this part of getting to know someone?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. We have to actually make an effort. How about we each get to ask five questions or something.”
“I’d rather just let it come naturally,” he replied, not bothering to turn around.
“Well, sitting here in silence isn’t really going to help us.”
He groaned. “Fine. Ask away.”
I decided there was no point in shooting the shit. This ride wouldn’t last all day and if there was any hope for us, we had to break down a few walls – not with a hammer, but with a wrecking ball. (Sorry to put the image of Miley in your head.)
“What’s your deepest, darkest secret?” I asked.
Jason threw his head back and laughed, clutching his stomach with his hand. I’d never seen him so relaxed. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face, until I realized that he was about to get smacked in the head if he didn’t push an upcoming branch out of the way.
“Jason!” I yelled, but alas it was too late. He sat up at the precise moment when he was supposed to dip beneath the branch. He got a pine branch smack-dab in the forehead and I couldn’t do anything other than howl with laughter. I couldn’t even stop long enough to muster speech.
“You good back there?” Jason mocked, rubbing the spot on his forehead that would no doubt have a red welt in a few minutes. Aw, man. Now I kind of feel bad.
I forced myself to get it together.
“Hold on, let me take a look and see how bad it is,” I said, pulling Dotty up alongside Jasper on the path. The horses slowed to a stop as I reached out to pull Jason’s hand away from his forehead.
“Like I’m going to trust you. I’d be bleeding down my face and you’d still be laughing,” he said with a sense of teasing.
His words made my stomach twist with guilt. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I swear. You can trust me,” I said, holding his arm down with both of mine so I could get a good look. That was a mistake. There were pine needles stuck to his forehead, like twenty of them haphazardly displayed above his eyebrows.
I couldn’t stop laughing for a solid five minutes.
“I’m,” laugh, “so,” laugh, “sorry.”
Jason grinned and shook his head at me before reaching behind him to grab a handful of pine needles from the tree.
“Hey!” I tried to duck out of the way as he threw them, but most of them found their way down my top and into my hair.
“That’s a good look for you,” he joked.
I shot him an evil glare as I shook out my shirt. “Are we even now?”
He smirked. “Not even close. And now it’s my turn to ask a question since you wasted yours.” He tapped his heel against Jasper’s side so that the horse started trotting down the trail again. Dotty and I were left in the dust as I tried to get pine needles out of my bra.
For the next few minutes we rode in silence. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to come up with a good question or just ignoring me. With him, it could have easily been either. Then finally, he turned back to glance at me.
“Do you write your own songs or does the label hire a song writer for you?” he asked with a serious tone, his dark eyes staring straight into mine.
WHAT?
I jerked my head back as the muscles in my neck stiffened. “Are you kidding me?”
His eyes widened in reaction to my anger.
“Of course I write my own songs,” I responded through clenched teeth. “You can look that up yourself.”
He shook his head, “I wanted to know the truth, not what the Internet had to say.”
I narrowed my eyes on him and enunciated every word as sharply as possible. “I write every single one of my songs. They’re my songs.”
It wasn’t out of the norm for singers to have writers feeding them music. Some bands still produced their own songs or used a mix of original content. I’d always wanted to stay true to myself. I wanted to get up on stage and perform my lyrics, my melodies, for my fans. And for Jason to ask that question, in a way in which he clearly thought he had me figured out— it absolutely boiled my blood.
I had the sudden urge to thump my heel into Dotty’s side so she’d take off in a gallop and we could leave Jason behind, but I wasn’t sure how strong of a rider I was yet. So instead, I took a few calming breaths and tried to forget about it. For the length of my entire career, I’ve had people question my authenticity. I should have had a thicker skin about it, but it’d always be a soft spot. Especially when people like Jason Monroe brought it back up.
I knew Jason wanted to apologize, to explain himself. He kept peering back at me with solemn eyes, but I wasn’t going to let him. Let the asshole stew for a bit.
Finally, he cleared his throat.
“I shouldn’t have suggested that you don’t write your own songs. I’m sorry.”
I grunted, unable to loosen the grip on my annoyance with him. But when the silence became too much to handle, I caved.
“Longest time you’ve gone with
out sex?” I asked, trying to break the tension.
He might have passed over that question ten minutes earlier, but he knew he had some ground to make up with me.
He only hesitated for a moment before replying. “Two months, maybe a little bit more. I’ve never really counted. You?”
I swallowed. Did Brazilian model count? Technically. “A year,” I answered honestly.
“Seriously?”
“Are you using up one of your questions?” I asked with a tilt of my head.
He laughed and shook his head.
“Have you ever been broken up with?” Jason asked.
I smiled down at my saddle. You had to actually be in a relationship to go through a break-up. I decided he didn’t need to know the gritty details, so technically, I told the truth when I replied, “No.”
“Have you?” I asked as an afterthought.
I almost didn’t hear his reply, “Once.”
We came to a clearing in the forest where the grass had overtaken the trees for a few yards. There was a small pond in the center with water so clear that I knew it’d come from a spring. We hopped off the horses and let them rest and get a drink for a few minutes. I sat back on the grass, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my borrowed vest.
“Oh, I have a good one!” I exclaimed, picking up a pinecone and tossing it across the clearing.
He nodded for me to go ahead.
“Would you rather experience love firsthand or write about fictional love in your songs?”
His eyebrows furrowed and then released. “Those are my two options? I either live it or write about it?”
I smiled. “Yup.”
I could feel his gaze on me, his jaw tight, and his arms crossed. I knew if I turned to look at him, our eyes would meet and I’d see more of Jason Monroe than I ever had before. But I didn’t turn. I kept my eyes trained on the water.
A moment later, he answered with a quiet, hard tone. “Write about it.”
My mouth fell open. “Are you serious?”
“The written word will be my life’s mistress,” he answered with a mocking tone.