by C. Michelle
“I didn’t kill a baby. I aborted a fetus. It’s my body, therefore my choice.” She states defensively, standing by her decision.
Emme’s poor attempt to minimize her actions leaves me overwhelmed with disgust and sadness. I walk away refusing to rebuttal her justification. The chapter in my life involving Emme has officially ended.
I slowly return to Jacob. My head is pounding, my heart is shattering by the second, and my thoughts have lost their clarity. I don’t want to be in this place longer than necessary. I’m ready to pay the bill and leave. Jacob sees me and gives me a worried grin. I guess, I’m not as good at hiding my emotions as I thought. The waiter approaches our table shortly after I have a seat. He asks if we would be interested in dessert. Luckily, we both decline simultaneously. The waiter then places the check right in the center of the table. I take a sip of my water before paying the bill, then Jacob catches me by surprise. He grabs the bill located neatly in a leather pocket and places it directly in front of me.
Did this guy just do what I think he just did? Not today motherfucker. Not. Today.
The action makes me smile...wickedly, but nonetheless, it’s still a smile. Jacob chose the worst moment to fuck with me.
“Check this out, you rich bitch...Just because your parents still spoon feed you and wipe your hairy ass, doesn’t mean others are willing to do the same. I paid for our dates so far and didn’t think anything of it. I was planning on paying the bill today even though YOU invited ME, but...” I take a moment to stretch my neck on both sides. “BUT...when someone EXPECTS something from me...they don’t get shit! I don’t owe you anything. So, before you start expecting anything from me, you need to ensure your lame ass has me interested. Go ahead and pay for your meal, I’ll take care of mine, you cheap ass, sorry prick. Oh, and while you’re at it, find yourself a ride home...I’m sure you can afford it.” I stand up, drop a fifty dollar bill on the table to cover my meal along with a generous tip then walk out leaving Jacob with his mouth wide open from the shock of my words.
Can this day get any worse? Don’t answer that, God. It’s a rhetorical question, not a challenge! I drive off into the chaos of the busy streets with the thought of Emme’s assurance that I would be a terrible father. Her words stung me deep, I had no choice, but to retaliate.
When I arrive home, I text Mama V to see if she’ll spend the day with me tomorrow. Immediately, she agrees. There’s something comforting about a mother’s presence. It’s just what I need.
When I enter the house, I notice Cheesecake exercising in the living room to the Insanity workout video. She’s sweating, talking shit to the television, and struggling to keep up with the routine. “Fuck you, Shaun! You and your fine self can kiss my ass if you expect me to do more bitch ass burpees! I was only kidding when I ate that pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream...and the large bag of Doritos...and the pizza! Shaun, you know it is physically impossible to just eat pizza without buffalo wings and beer! Come on, Shaun, let me just pay you to make all these calories go away. I have a photo shoot next week! Please, Shaun!” She begs then stops to catch her breath. With a sense of defeat and rage, she whines, “I’m saying fuckin’ PLEASE! Fuck you for making me sweat like a pig! I thought we were friends, Shaun!” She grabs the towel that’s beside her and throws it at the TV aiming directly at Shaun T’s face.
Leave it to Cheesecake to cheer me up. “Leave my future ex-husband alone, you wench!” I yell as I throw myself on the couch.
Ouch!
“It’s not his fault you don’t understand the concept of a cheat meal. Your bad for not knowing when to say when.” I ridicule her with my debonair smirk.
She turns around and looks at me appalled. “I do know when to say ‘when’...hello? Knowing the right amount of ranch and parmesan cheese to add to my pizza requires a special kind of skill.” Cheesecake says in between breaths as she drops to the ground for a push up to complete her burpee. Once she returns to her feet, her facial expression demonstrates exhaustion and pure misery as the beads of sweat clasp to her clammy skin.
“Okay. Keep telling yourself that. Finish your workout, I need some shut eye, so don’t bother me.” Damn, I shouldn’t have said that. Now, she’s going to be all over me. Regardless, I decide to walk away and head to my room.
Cheesecake doesn’t miss a beat. “Hey, hey, hey!” She grabs the remote and presses pause to stop the workout video from continuing to play. She looks at me with concerned eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do you wanna talk?”
Of course she would pick up on my melancholy mood. “I’m fine. Give me some time to gather my thoughts. We’ll discuss things when I wake up. What you need to do is go back to your date with my future ex-husband.”
She decides to drop the issue since I have agreed to talk later. “Fine.” She sighs heavily. “But I don’t want to continue working out. I keep trying to make him my bitch, but the fucker has so much stamina that he makes me his bitch instead! I’m hyperventilating over here! I’m struggling to keep up!”
Cheesecake knows I have no patience for laziness. “Quit your whining! You weren’t whining when you were stuffing your face, now don’t start complaining when it’s time for you to handle business and burn off those unnecessary calories. Man up and grow some balls! Finish your damn workout already.”
She rolls her eyes. “Excuse me?” Cheesecake begins waving her index finger around as she continues to speak. “Man up? Grow some balls? Umm...no thanks, I’m happy being a lady. Balls are sensitive and shrivel up. My kitty is a beast...it can take a pounding.” She smirks and chuckles showing off her beautiful smile. “Just ask my man.” She adds then bursts into exaggerated laughter.
“Real classy, Valentina Moretti...real fuckin’ classy.” Although I’m shaking my head, I can’t keep from smiling and head towards my room where my sanctuary is located.
Before I close my bedroom’s door, I hear Cheesecake yell, “On a scale of one through ten, how juicy is the news you have to tell me?”
“A seven!” I yell back and close the door. Since the news is regarding Emme...not much can be expected from her. The pregnancy might be a shock, but the abortion and putting herself first...that doesn’t come as a surprise. I throw myself on the bed, allowing sleep to overtake my exhausted mind while Emme and fatherhood consume my final thoughts.
I wake up in darkness. The house is strangely silent. I turn to see the clock on my nightstand and realize I’ve slept all afternoon through the evening. My mind is bombarded with Emme. My heart immediately aches from disappointment. Disappointment? I shake the feeling away. I need to forget about Emme, the only woman who came close to making me fall in love again...she came close, but not close enough. I need to enjoy my life as I did before she trampled all over me and left me barely standing. I jump out of bed with mere determination to erase today and the past few months spent with her out of my memory.
As I enter the living room, I notice Cheesecake FaceTiming on her iPad with Josh. When she sees me, she gives me a worried look. “Babe, I’ll call you back. Kade just woke up.”
“Okay. Have fun and be safe if you go out tonight.” I hear Josh say to Cheesecake, then yells, “Kade! Take care of my lady. Remember...I trust you with her life.”
“I know, I know. I need to babysit Cheesecake and make sure no gorillas get near her at the club. Don’t worry. I’ve got this!” I head to the kitchen to grab something to eat and let them say their sugar coated goodbyes in private. I notice Cheesecake cooked lasagna and made a salad for dinner along with breadsticks. Awww...she cooked my favorite comfort food. She knows me too well.
When she enters the kitchen, I stop her in her tracks. I’ve rarely hidden things from her, but right now I don’t want to think about Emme. “We’ll talk later. Tonight let’s go out and have a good time. It’s been weeks since we’ve let loose. Hurry up and get ready so that we can begin our night of Valentine’s Day bashing even though V-Day was two days ago.” I wink at her. “By the way, thanks for din
ner.”
“Okay, we’ll talk when you’re ready and you’re welcome.” She backs away and heads to her room to get ready.
An hour later, she steps into the living room as if it’s her own personal runway. Cheesecake has on a black, retro inspired comic strip skater dress with Wonder Woman as its theme. It’s tight at the bodice and flares out at the waist. The dress is short and exposes her long, well defined legs. She accessorized it with red peek-a-boo pumps and a matching colored rose on the right side of her reverse rolls hair style.
I whistle when I see her. “Damn, Cheesecake! You sure know how to make one hell of an entrance! Your legs look so lean and toned, I doubt I’ll be able to fight off the gorillas now. They’ll be on you like leeches!” I laugh. “Come on, let’s have a drink or two before we leave.”
“Thanks and make my drink a Beautiful, please.” She says with a wicked smile.
“Since when do you drink Beautifuls?” I ask confused.
“Since I began to miss my man like crazy! He loves cognac. It’s his drink of choice when he plays poker.” She sighs heavily. “Oh how I love to watch him play.” She states dreamily then gets out of her reverie. “Do you know how to make it or not?”
“Do you know how many bartenders I’ve hooked up with? Don’t answer that. Just know that it’s been enough for me to be considered a master mixologist.” I raise my eyebrows and state proudly.
“Whore.”
I laugh. “Don’t be jealous.”
After we’ve had our drinks, we get a cab and head to a lounge bar downtown in the Historic Theater District. This club plays house music and has a slide to get people below ground. I’ve heard of issues with people not being allowed in due to women and men ratios, but we’ve never had any problems. I guess when you look as good as us, exceptions are always made.
As soon as we enter, Cheesecake and I begin moving to the fast paced beat and head over to the bar swarmed with people ready to release the tension of the week and celebrate the night ahead. She hands me her phone. “Why on earth did you bring your phone?” Right away, I get irritated. I know she’s not expecting to have a conversation with Josh while we’re out. We haven’t gone out alone in what seems like forever. Instantly, I do my best to push away the jealous ping.
Nonchalantly she yells over the loud beat of the music, “Habit.” Then she leans so close to me our bodies are meshed into one and breathes into my ear, “I feel naked without it.” Her clean powdery scent rapidly overwhelms my senses.
“But you don’t feel naked wearing a skin tight dress letting your big ol’ titties practically hang out of it?” I back away from her a bit since the crowded area doesn’t allow for much room.
With a smug look, she replies, “Nope.” As she exaggeratedly pops her full ruby lips. “I’ll be right back. Gonna hit the ladies room before it gets too packed. Order a drink for me, kay?” She bats her lashes and gives me an innocent smile.
“Hurry up then, before I drink your drink!” I jokingly threaten. She walks away turning several heads and yells, “Please and thanks!” Then blows me a kiss and gets lost in the crowd.
After I place my order with the bartender, I feel Cheesecake’s cellphone vibrate. A text from Josh. Mmm yesss...
It reads:
Baby, have fun but be safe. Miss and love you.
Since I don’t want him to worry, I reply on Cheesecake’s behalf. I’m sure that’s what she would want me to do.
Babe! I miss you and love you too! Here at the club.
Wish I was with u instead...fucking u like crazy!
With a devious grin, I press SEND. Aww…I’m so nice and thoughtful.
Within seconds, the phone vibrates in my hand. It’s another text from Josh. This time, it reads:
Baby, there’s nothing more I want than to be
between your thighs pounding you slow and deep
then tasting your delicious juice as you cum inside my mouth.
My eyes pop out of their sockets, but immediately, I respond to his text.
Babe! You’re making my pussy ache! I need you in me!
While laughing, I press SEND. I swear…Cheesecake is just too lucky to have me as her best friend!
Right away, Cheesecake...scratch that...WE get a response from OUR Tree Hugger.
Soon, baby. Real soon I’ll be licking you clean.
Rapidly, I answer before Cheesecake comes back and ruins OUR conversation.
Babe, I want you to rub and stroke yourself
tonight while you think of me. But first...
send me a pic of that fat dick I love so much.
SEND!
I know curiosity killed the cat, but I don’t give a fuck! I’m dying to know what my boo is working with.
A minute later, WE receive another text from OUR man.
I can’t wait to have your lips wrapped around
ALL OF ME.
With his text is a picture attached. Oh. Shit...or should I say...Daaaamn!
Shortly after I see the first picture, a second one appears. Repulsion immediately consumes me. My eyes! Fuckin’ shit, you asshole! Why? Why? Why would you ruin things, you sick bastard?
The second picture is of a man probably in his eighties or nineties sun bathing at the beach wearing a loose thong that has his extremely saggy yet shriveled up balls hanging from the side of his thong. On reflex, I begin to gag. As I’m trying to compose myself, WE receive another text.
Sorry, baby. I couldn’t leave you hot and bothered.
Had to make sure I put out the fire I started.
Love you and stay away from those horny motherfuckers.
Angrily, I reply to his shenanigans.
That was just wrong on so many levels! And to think...
I was going to send you some titty action!
Well, Tree Hugger...NO TITTIES FOR YOU!
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!
SEND!
The nerve of him! Some people just like to cross the line!
Just then, I spot Cheesecake making her way through the crowd. I drop a bill for the bartender, put away her phone, and grab our drinks.
When she nears me, she asks with a perplexed look on her face, “What’s with the pouty look? Did people fail to throw themselves at you while I was gone?”
I briefly consider her question. With smug scrutiny, I reply, “You’re one lucky bitch, you know that?”
Cheesecake belches an ear-splitting laugh despite the thunderous sound of the techno beat surrounding us. “And why is that? Because I have you as a bestie? No need to tell me something I already know.” She takes a few sips of her drink, continues chuckling out loud, then yells, “That’s my song!” when the DJ starts playing, “Danse” by Mia Martina. “Come on...let’s dance, hopefully there’s room for you and your ego. Don’t forget...Our anti-V-Day bash is just about us...like old times.”
The next morning the annoying ringing sound of my phone wakes me. I answer it half asleep unable to open my eyes. “What?”
“What do you mean ‘what?’ Is that the way you should be answering your phone, little boy? Don’t tell me you’re still sleeping. You’re supposed to be here, picking me up! I thought you wanted to have a mother/son date? Get your hung over behind up, get in the shower, and be here in the next half hour!” Mama V commands not allowing me the slightest chance to come up with an excuse for failing to pick her up on time.
Even though I’m not fully awake, her demanding ways bring a smile to my face. “ Yes, ma’m! I’m on my way!”
“Good. Drive safely. See you when you get here. Love you!” She hangs up enthusiastically.
Once I’m finished getting ready, I knock on Cheesecake’s door. “Hey! Hanging out with mom all day. See you tonight.”
Groggily, Cheesecake responds, “Okay. Have fun. I’m gonna be a bum all day. I can’t hang like I used to. I’m STILL drunk from last night!”
“Rookie!” I poke fun of her as I walk away from her door and grab a banana for breakfast on my way out. A
s I’m leaving the kitchen, I hear Cheesecake’s door slam.
“KADE! YOU FUCKIN’ ASSHOLE!” She shrieks. “I can’t believe you pretended to be me so that Josh could send you a dick pic!” She comes at me with fury radiating off her every being.
Oh, shit! This can’t be good.
The last time I pissed her off this bad I came home to my bed covered in pickle juice and tuna. It had sat there for several hours. When I arrived home, the stench was so bad I had to throw out my brand new mattress.
I attempt to speak, but my mouth is full of banana and I almost choke from chuckling so hard at the ridiculously distorted expression on her face. She’s soooo pissed off. Her eye makeup from last night is smeared giving her raccoon eyes and her long hair has so much volume she resembles Medusa.
She rushes then jumps on me like a monkey from behind. She does her best to get me in a choke hold, but I manage to easily get her off by flipping her onto the couch. Immediately, I take off running towards the front door and head out. I take the stairs two steps at a time. Surprisingly, she doesn’t follow me. As I’m about to enter my car, I hear a thud...and then another and another. I look up and see Cheesecake at the top of the stairs with an 18 pack carton of eggs throwing each one directly at me, but actually making contact with just my car. I manage to duck and get in at record time. I turn on the smooth engine of my BMW X5 and quickly evade the eggs aimed at my direction. I look at my rearview mirror and see Cheesecake exaggeratedly laughing her ass off at my expense.
Women! They’re such psychos!
I arrive to Mama V’s house which is actually a duplex, but she owns both sections. She purchased the second property in hopes that Cheesecake and I would move in next door one day. In the meantime, she uses the extra space as an office and workout area. As soon as I park my car, mom is exiting her house. I see her hands completely full with a picnic basket, two folding chairs, and a large overfilled tote bag. I get out and give her a hand. “What’s with all the luggage?”
Mama V smiles at me and kisses one cheek while she pinches the other. “We’re going to be gone all day, little boy. I’m nothing if not prepared. I’m a mom, it’s in my genes to be overly equipped for anything. Don’t forget to grab the small ice chest by the door. Now, hurry before we catch traffic.”