by C. Michelle
When Muscles sees me, he gives me such a softhearted smile, it instantly makes all the negativity of the day into a forgotten memory.
I’ve been spending nearly every day at Josh’s house, it’s now beginning to feel like my second home. I cook for him and Muscles, yet I find myself cooking extra food since we always have unexpected visitors. Each and every one of them always providing a lame excuse as to their visit, but I know better, I know we have all become so attached to Muscles it’s difficult to part from him. My mom and Celeste haven’t had a small child to care for in years, Muscles’ presence was a welcomed surprise.
As soon as we arrive to my man’s house, Muscles and I change into more comfortable clothes. My hair goes into a bun, I put on a white tank top, some grey shorts, and decide to remain barefoot. Muscles wears his usual…sweats…and that’s it. Aww…he’s so cute.
While I’m preparing dinner, courtesy of Delia who doesn’t mind me picking her brain and getting the recipes to some of Josh’s favorite meals, Muscles is coloring at the dining table. Lately, Delia and I have been on the phone quite a bit. She’s absolutely one of the sweetest women I have ever met in my life and her accent always has me beaming with joy.
“Always play music when you cook, it’s the best therapy. It relaxes you and allows you to cook with love. A man can taste the love in a meal. If you do it right, he’ll do you right.” Her advice every time she provides me with one of her delicious recipes.
I decide to play salsa music while I attempt my first try at chiles rellenos. So far, the house smells amazing. I’ve made rice, a red salsa for the stuffed peppers, and fresh pico de gallo, which is a chunky salsa to compliment my meal. Although I know my way around the kitchen fairly well, my comfort is with Italian cooking since that’s what I grew up on. Now that I cook for my man, I’m trying to incorporate some of his favorites which include everything his caregiver, who is more like family used to cook for him.
As I’m trying to sing along to the lyrics, I’m swaying to the sultry beat, and finishing up with the chiles rellenos. Once I’m done, I feel strong hands at the sides of my waist. He starts moving along with me to the rhythm of the music. I slowly turn around not skipping a beat. My fingertips have flour on them so I manage to lightly hug my man without getting his dark shirt dirty. His face has that light stubble that I love so much, he gives me a smoldering look that instantly makes me want to jump him and devour him alive. I’ve become better at remembering my environment and notice Muscles who seems highly amused at seeing Josh and me dancing. We both smile at him and decide to give him a show. As the song, “Vuelvo a Nacer” by Frankie Ruiz plays in the background, we get down in the middle of the kitchen with a three-year-old as our audience. Once we’re done, we realize we have more spectators than before. Our moms are at the dining table getting a kick out of our dance fest.
“Oh, to be young and in love!” Celeste cheers in her delicate body, but with a much stronger spirit. “I can almost hear wedding bells.”
We all freeze and stare at Celeste, but Josh breaks the silence. “You probably need to fix your hearing aid, mom because there are no bells ringing.”
“Son, please bite your tongue. My hearing is perfectly fine. Will everyone please stop looking at me as if I’m being delusional? So help me…I will announce the names I have picked out for my grandkids.”
Everyone instantly looks away. Celeste grins triumphantly.
Moments later, my mom asks, “Do you really want to be a grandmother that bad?”
“As if you don’t. You’re ready to load babies into that honker bus you bought! You want them just as bad as I do, there’s no denying that.” Celeste slyly winks at my mom.
My mom laughs guiltily. That traitor.
Changing the subject seems best. I inform everyone I’ll be meeting with Diego later this week. Celeste surprises me by asking if she can attend the visit with me. I tell her I’ll have to double check with Michael first. My mom isn’t ready to meet with Diego just yet. She doesn’t speak ill of him, but she also doesn’t feel comfortable with the mention of his name.
Once our moms leave after dinner and Muscles is put to bed, I decide to bring up the issues discussed earlier with Michael.
Josh is in bed anxiously waiting for me to join him. With no hesitation, I wrap myself on top of him. “Babe, did you know that our lives are still in danger?” I try to sound nonchalant. “Your half-brother may be after me, you, and everyone else from that horrid night.” Just the thought of the madness, confusion, and gun battle from that evening brings a chill down my spine.
“My what? Baby, please don’t refer to him as anything of mine. He’s Mateo Blanco’s son…that’s it. Just because we have the same sperm donor in common doesn’t make us family. I’ve been doing my research on him, he’s evil as shit. Fuck him and fuck Blanco. Anyone who tries to hurt my loved ones is an enemy. To me…there is no such thing as a blood bond.”
I know, babe. I will never forget you tainting your hands with your father’s bloodshed…and feeling no remorse.
“So did you know this nightmare still isn’t over?”
“Yes.” He states simply.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You know I don’t like being kept in the dark about these things. Is that why we rarely go out anymore? Are you doing it to protect me and keep me safe?” I need answers.
Josh gives me a brief peck on the lips. “Of course not. We haven’t gone out because I’m cheap and you come at a hefty price.”
I catch him off guard and punch him in the stomach. He drags out his groan dramatically.
“You’re not funny. Tell me the truth.” I insist.
“I don’t take you out because I’m cheating on you and don’t want my hoes to find out.” Josh replies sarcastically.
I don’t bother to entertain his comment. “Babe, I’m being serious. Please tell me what’s going on.”
Josh gives me a long sigh. “Knowing that your life is in danger has me stressed with a tremendous amount of pressure to keep you safe. When we’re home and I’m with you, I don’t want to consider any threats or negativity, I just want to enjoy you. Let your father and I handle this situation. We’ve been in contact. You’re being watched over, you’ll be safe.”
“Are you communicating with my father through Michael? How’s that working out?”
“Michael and I have moved on from our altercation. That’s a thing of the past. We have too much on our plates to worry about insignificant things.”
“Glad to hear you’re not jealous anymore and acting like a crazed lunatic.” I tease.
Josh tilts my chin upward to ensure we’re making eye contact. “I was never jealous of HIM. What enraged me was seeing another man touching you…and you returning the gesture. If you’re mine…then you’re MINE, for my touch only. I have you on a pedestal in a flawless condition. If someone else comes along with their filthy hands and thoughts, they’re ruining what belongs to me, my most prized possession.”
His words catch me off guard. I swallow hard. “You know I’m not perfect. You know I’m tainted.”
He keeps his entrancing hazel eyes fixated on mine. “To me…you’re perfect. Your past experiences have molded you to be a strong, intellectual woman with a heart of gold; your present shows a sense of humor like no other with an empathetic virtue that is so rare, it’s priceless; and your future’s perspective on life is aspiring…always wanting to give and make society a better place. I know I don’t deserve you, but every day you make me want to be a better man and for whatever profound intention…you chose me. I won’t let anyone threaten our bond. I’ll fight for what belongs to me. No one touches you…absolutely no one. Understand?”
I stare at my possessive, unreasonable man lovingly. “I understand.”
“Good. Now give me some sugar.” He exaggeratedly puckers up his lips waiting for a kiss.
“How about some crazy kisses instead?” I don’t wait for his response. Instead, I contort my face, cross my eyes
, and smother his entire face with smooches.
He closes his eyes with a smile and enjoys the attack on his face.
Despite being here several times with Michael, I’m still not used to entering this dark, grey building surrounded by barb wire. Today, my meeting with Diego is different. Celeste was granted permission by both the federal detention facility and Diego to visit. When we enter, Celeste and I provide our fake IDs to the correctional officer behind the informational desk. We pass through a metal detector then a female officer pats us down to ensure we’re not bringing in any contraband such as weapons, drugs, or cellphones. The lady officer leads us further into the facility and into a different room than usual. The room consists of six metal tables with matching stools bolted down to the ground. An officer remains at the far end of the room then turns on a small radio loud enough for him to block the conversation within our group.
While Diego is a man without freedom and detained within the brick walls of maximum security, he still walks with confidence and purpose even though his limbs are restrained with metal. Now standing in front of me, I see he lacks any fear of being confined. Seeing him without a glass wall between us feels surreal. My first urge is to greet him with a hug, but something in me stops me from doing so, instead I grab his hand to shake it and cover my free hand over both of ours smiling warmly at him. “Hi.”
“Hija, it feels so good to see you.” Daughter. Although initially I felt uncomfortable about the term, I quickly grew fond of it. Diego’s hardcore prison attitude escapes him as soon as he sees me. He nods to Celeste and Michael as a form of acknowledgement then we all have a seat. Diego is on one side of the table with us adjacent to him just like a panel has one person under scrutiny.
An awkward silence rapidly unfolds. Celeste is staring at my father while he does his best to look everywhere else, but her. I get a kick out of their behavior, but decide to move our visit along since time is limited. “Celeste, you wanted to visit with Diego. Is there anything you’d like to say? Would you like some privacy? Michael and I can step outside the room if you’d like.”
Diego finally chooses to make eye contact with Celeste. Before she speaks, Celeste inhales then exhales deeply. “I know what you did. I wanted to come today to thank you for saving my life and my son’s. The murder of my parents is a pain that will remain in my heart for the rest of my life. I don’t condone your actions, but I understand why you did what you had to. All these years I’ve been in hiding, I always knew it was you who called to warn my father that my whereabouts were known. I wasn’t aware the agent who relocated me the second time was under your command. All this time you’ve known where I’ve been, yet you always kept me a secret from Mateo. Words cannot express my gratitude. I think back to when I dated Mateo and he would get in his tirade moods, he would become hostile with me and many times came so close to beating me. You always managed to turn his focus elsewhere during our explosive arguments. I haven’t forgotten. You’re my hero and the executioner of my parents’ lives, the turmoil within my heart couldn’t be greater. Nonetheless, I wanted to thank you in person for everything you’ve done for my son and me.”
“Kaitlyn.” Diego refers to Celeste by her legal name, not the new identity she was forced to take in order to remain alive. “I don’t deserve your gratitude. I murdered your parents in their sleep, I won’t minimize my actions. But I’d like to thank you for welcoming and loving my daughter as your own. She speaks very highly of you.”
Celeste smiles and reaches out to grab Diego’s hand. She squeezes it giving him a hint of a smile. “Let’s move on and never speak of our past.”
Diego doesn’t move his hands, but he nods his head in agreement.
“Diego.” I interrupt before another moment of awkwardness arises. “Can you please tell me why you have a man following me around? Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been paranoid with the feeling that someone was stalking me. Who is he? Can I meet him so that I won’t mistake him for a bad guy? What’s the situation with Mateo Blanco’s son? What about his daughter? Didn’t you say Mateo Blanco had twins, a girl and boy? Why is your concern solely for Mateo’s son?” I feel myself getting in a panic.
“Hija. Calm down. I’ll answer your questions. I didn’t want you to meet Sancho, that’s just his nickname by the way, because he can be a bit intimidating. He’s not much of a people person. The top right of his face was burned leaving severely thick scar tissue. If you see a man with a burned face, you’ll know it’s him. Just know that he’s good at maintaining a low profile. He drives a new silver Impala. If he switches cars, I’ll notify you immediately so you won’t be caught off guard. He’s been my top lieutenant for over five years after proving his loyalty to me. As for Mateo’s son, AX Blanco, he’s someone to fear. Even as a child he was rotten as hell. The tougher he became, the prouder Mateo felt. AX was raised with a heavy hand, getting daily beatings for his mischievous ways. His first murder was at the age of thirteen per his father’s command. Mateo had AX execute a man who had stolen from Mateo’s cocaine supply. After that, AX became more ruthless…pouring acid over people, dismembering their bodies, and countless other acts of torcher and slaughter. He has his hands dipped in everything…drug trade, weapons, human trafficking, extortion, racketeering, money laundering, you name it, he’s involved one way or another. Before when Mateo and I were alliances, there was nothing more AX wanted than to take over Mateo’s drug empire. I know he’s not completely heartbroken over the loss of his father, but regardless he has to show everyone his devotion to his family and go after whoever was responsible for his father’s death. As for the twin girl, once the mother died she was sent to a boarding school here in the U.S. at a very young age. Mateo rarely spoke of her in an attempt to keep her safe. I don’t even remember her name or AX’s legal name. I’ve tried locating that information, but haven’t found anything. When they were registered in the hospital, it must have been done under their mother’s maiden name for their protection. I’ve had Mateo’s financial reports checked and nothing indicates a consistent allowance to anyone. I can’t imagine Mateo not providing monetary security for his daughter throughout her life. AX is so self-involved and heartless I doubt he has a relationship with his own twin.”
“I hope I never run into this AX guy, he sounds like a total brute.” I slump on the stool completely overwhelmed with my new found information.
Once our visit ends, Michael drops off Celeste at her home then takes me to work. I’m only there for the second half of my shift, but I feel like I’ve worked all day plus overtime. The visit with Diego along with my disturbing cases have me mentally spent.
After work, I rush over to my mom’s bakery shop to pick Muscles up. I find him in the back past the kitchen in my mom’s office playing with what appears to be homemade play dough. He gives me a welcoming smile that instantly makes all my troubles from my day disappear.
As Muscles and I are headed back to Josh’s house, a black car driving several feet behind me catches my attention. I can’t really make out the man’s face due to the darkness of his vehicle and because the evening is quickly approaching considering I stayed with my mom longer than expected. I don’t give the car a second thought and continue to drive on the busy streets of my overpopulated city. Before I arrive to Josh’s house, I decide to grab dinner. I’m just too tired to cook up a feast tonight.
I’m driving in the inner lane of a four way intersection, a quesadilla with all the works sounds bomb right now. I realize I’ve missed the right turn to my favorite Mexican restaurant so I immediately squeeze into the congested right lane to make my turn and avoid going further into the opposite direction. As I’m turning, I notice the black car suddenly switch lanes almost causing a collision. He turns right and is now driving behind me, but keeps his distance.
Okay, that was a coincidence. Not a big deal. I tell myself.
I make another right then another until I reach Mission Street once again. I notice the black car continues behind me. I turn
left on Mission then a right after the first block. Now I’m positive this car is following me, I know it’s not Sancho because he drives a silver Impala. I try to remain calm even though my heart is racing. I look back to see Muscles, he’s asleep in his booster seat. I need to keep us safe. My windows are rolled up, I lock the doors, and I return to Mission Street since it’s busy with plenty of witnesses. I decide my best option is to drive to the police station and avoid Josh’s house or my home. I call 911 to state I’m being followed. I indicate my location along with a description of Betty and license plate. I can’t provide the license plate of the car that’s in pursuit of me since he’s savvy enough to maintain some distance. The 911 dispatcher informs me that an officer will get to me as soon as possible, but that in the meantime to continue heading to the police station.
Once I arrive to the new police station on Valencia Street, my stalker hits the pedal to the metal not allowing me the opportunity to get his number plate. Moments later, I notice a silver Impala floor it in order to catch up with the black vehicle that’s rapidly evading.
Sancho.
I wonder for a brief moment if my stalker is Daniel wanting to get Marisol back or attempting to utilize me to hurt Josh. Then AX comes to mind, what if it’s him or one of his men demanding answers regarding his father’s death by any means? Being followed along with the uncertainty of my stalker has my nerves in shambles. Before I speak with an officer to file a report, I call Josh to inform him of the situation.