by Quinn, Cari
“What else do you propose we do? He’s not returning our calls. And to be honest, after that knife incident, I’m really not thinking his judgment is in the best place right now. What can he possibly see in her?”
I tried not to make the parallels between Slater’s situation and mine. Really, they were so different, though falling for an ex-con or a current one were equally bad. I couldn’t see Gio as a criminal. I’d had other boyfriends, and none of them had come close to treating me the way he did.
Sure, he kept secrets, and he didn’t always call, and there were all kinds of things between us that went unsaid. But when we were alone together, whether in bed or pushing a cart through the store, he was focused on me exclusively. As I was focused on him.
“Love does crazy things to the mind,” I said quietly, picking at my ragged cuticles. I’d need to fit in a manicure sometime soon.
Maybe after I headed to the doctor next week to make sure my finger was healing okay. I was still getting pain when I used it, and it still bled on occasion. I hoped I didn’t have to go back on antibiotics again, but as a budding chef, I used my hands too much to wait and see.
“You’re telling me.” Mia sighed. “I just never would’ve expected him to shut us out like this. He’s been friends with Fox for years.” She bowed her head, her dark braid falling forward over her shoulder. “I hate that they’re fighting because of my fucked-up past.”
I scooted closer and wrapped my arm around her. “They aren’t. They’re at odds because Slater’s choosing someone he barely knows over his best friends.” Hearing myself, I shut my eyes.
Pot, get acquainted with kettle.
“Yeah, but he falls hard and fast. It’s not surprising she figured out how to get to him. He’s too sweet for his own good sometimes.”
Because her description of Slater struck a little too close to home, I flopped back on the bed and threw my arm over my face. All I wanted was to check out and sleep for a while, not think about all of this mess anymore.
Fat chance.
“We tried to talk to him yesterday, but he never answered the door. Tray wanted to read him the riot act over the knife business, but something seems off. I don’t know what.”
I lowered my arm. “Off like what? You don’t think Olivia did the knife thing?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t.” She rubbed her eyes. “All I know is he’s virtually guaranteed to get hurt, and I don’t want it to happen.”
“Yeah, well, he’ll learn. Maybe it’s his mistake to make, and he needs to be let alone.”
Not that I intended to do that later today, but Ame didn’t need to know that. I wanted to go to Slater’s alone, and if she knew my plans, she’d probably tag along.
“You think it’s that easy, huh? It’s hard to let someone you love do something that you know is going to wreck them.”
“You’re not in his head. You don’t know how it is between them when they’re alone. You don’t understand.”
“You’d be surprised,” she said drily. “I know a little bit about falling for someone now.”
I didn’t say anything, because it wasn’t at all the same. Fox was basically a living Greek god. He was the hero in every fairytale.
Try falling for the supposed villain, sis, then we’ll talk.
“So what about you? You’ve been spending a lot of time with Jenna lately.” She cocked her head, peering at me closely enough that I knew she was checking out every tell. “You guys are pretty close now, huh?”
“Yep. Close as two bugs in a rug.” I was regressing to preschool now.
“That’s good. I’m glad she isn’t letting the Slater situation influence her friendship with you.”
“Why would she? They’re separate people. Just because you think something doesn’t dictate how I feel.”
“No, I know that. I’m just saying, sometimes it gets sticky, you know?”
“Nope, no sticky here.”
“Good.” She pursed her lips. “And how’s…what’s his name? The nice boy from the Salad Hut.”
Barely, I resisted rolling my eyes. Kirk wasn’t that nice, but he’d become the poster child for safe sexual conquests in my sister’s mind. “He’s fine.”
I tried not to let my annoyance show on my face. She just wanted what was best for me, and Gio wasn’t exactly what she’d consider a decent dating candidate for her baby sister. I got that intellectually, and loved her for worrying about me.
But in my heart, I resented her for making me have to hide. And it wasn’t just her. The whole goddamn world was making it that way. He could hold my hand at the club, but only in the hopes of making the bastards he hung out with keep their distance from me. No one actually thought we were a real couple. Because we weren’t.
Maybe Slater and I had more in common than I’d originally thought.
“You’re being safe.” She toyed with the edge of the sheet.
It took me a second to get her meaning. “Duh, of course.” This time, I did roll my eyes. She knew I’d been on the Pill forever, and I always used a condom too. Except that one night.
“Just checking.”
“I’m good. Everything’s good. Why don’t you go watch your studly boyfriend kick some ass if you have some time to kill?” I gave her a light shove. “Just don’t analyze his technique.”
“Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right.” She gave me a sheepish smile and rose. “I wanted to make sure you were home safe. You know, old habits die hard.”
Just like that, my irritation drained away. I might not always like her tactics, but my sister was always in my corner. She was the one person whose loyalty I never had to doubt.
“I know.” Surprising us both, I leaned up and wrapped my arm around her knees and buried my face in her side. For just a second, I needed someone to hold onto. “I love you too.”
“What’s all this?” She rubbed my head. “Hey, kiddo, you okay?”
Her patient, kind tone was too much. If she’d gotten suspicious or thrown any snark at me, my natural defensiveness when it came to anything Gio-related would’ve saved the day. I didn’t have a strategy to fend off genuine concern.
“I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed,” I whispered over the lump in my throat that seemed to get bigger with each passing hour.
How many things could I overlook when it came to Gio? First, the company he kept, then the back room situation we’d been forced into—and yet he still hadn’t turned his back on those men once we’d made it out the other side. Then the attempted murder charge, and his claim he’d been guilty. A cocky claim, no less, as if he was proud. The secrecy, and the guns.
The negative things were stacking up faster than the positive ones could compete.
But God, the positive were so amazing. I’d never felt like this before. Not even in the same ballpark. Being with him made me lighter, freer. With him, I wasn’t a little girl trying on an adult’s clothes. I was a woman. A happy one.
At least when I wasn’t scared out of my mind he was going to end up hurt—or worse.
“It’s a lot,” Mia soothed, stroking my hair. “Work, and school, and now thinking about starting your own business. If they take my new offer. I didn’t come up a lot. The property needs a lot of work, comparatively speaking, and the area’s rebuilding.”
“But you really want it.”
“I really want it. For me, and us, and everyone we could help. And everyone who would love your yummy cooking, who doesn’t have to worry about making weight.” She made a face and pinched a nonexistent roll on her waist.
I had to laugh. My sister was the fittest person I knew, other than Fox and Gio. The three of them were sweat monkeys in the extreme.
I hadn’t worked out in a while. I didn’t have time right now, and hell, Gio seemed to like my curves, so why bother?
“It’ll all be fine.” Gently, she disengaged my arms. “I have all the faith in the world in you, Carly Ann.”
Her words echoed even after she’d g
one back to watch Fox train. I was glad someone did, because I didn’t have much faith in myself at the moment.
I slept for a couple of hours, then dragged myself up to study. I was still exhausted and felt vaguely off, so I skipped eating. Not that I needed to after that feast we’d prepared last night, amidst talk of guns and graves and death.
Our new normal.
That afternoon, I headed over to Slater’s. I took the subway as I always did, but I watched everyone who got too close. Men with long dark coats got extra stares, since they were probably hiding guns.
When I wasn’t paying attention, the world had become a dangerous, frightening place.
I got off at Slater’s stop and hurried up the steps to the sidewalk, checking over my shoulder every few feet. Maybe I’d never go back to the way I’d been. Oblivious to how quickly life could change.
In an instant. Less.
Clutching the purse I wore cross-body to my hip, I stopped in the lobby of Slater’s building and waited for someone to let me in. It didn’t take long. A tremulous smile at a harried businessman and I was inside, on my way up to Slater’s. Wondering with every step if I was making a colossal mistake.
I rubbed my clammy palms on the thighs of my jeans and knocked, deliberately staying out of view of the peephole. If curiosity didn’t win out, I wasn’t getting in there, because I seriously doubted he’d let me in voluntarily. Since I was from the enemy’s camp and all.
The door swung open, and I gasped. Gio thought I did that too often, but this time, it was deserved.
“Slater,” I whispered, gripping the doorframe.
The man standing in front of me wasn’t the sweet, lovable boy I’d known. Gone was the clean-shaven jaw, replaced by a thick scruff of light brown hair. His normally shaggy blond hair was wild and unkempt and longer than I’d ever seen it. The rings under his eyes made him seem ten years older at least.
He stared at me for a long moment, something like wistfulness passing through his sea-green eyes, before he made a sound of disgust and tried to shut the door in my face.
“No. Dammit, no.” I stuck my foot in the crack and pushed my hip against the door. “Don’t do this. I know what you’re going through. I get it, I swear.”
“You don’t get anything. Neither does your sister. Let go of the door, Carly.”
“Make me,” I challenged, thrusting myself into the scant opening I’d made. “Unless you plan on carrying me out of here bodily, I’m not going anywhere.”
He put up a token effort to dislodge me from the door then lifted his hands, palms out, and backed into the apartment. I knew he would never hurt me. The guy didn’t even swat flies. “Fine. You want to come in, come in. But don’t bother telling me—”
I walked inside and shut the door, sagging against it when my knees threatened to give way. Clean, neatnik Slater was living in a place that looked like it was a set for the TV show Hoarders. His beloved surfboards weren’t stacked neatly against the wall as they’d been the last time I’d visited a few months ago, but shoved haphazardly into a corner. Takeout boxes were everywhere, interspersed with empty beer bottles and old newspapers.
Slater, who rarely drank and definitely didn’t eat much takeout. His body had been a temple, at least until Olivia had taken up residence in his heart.
“Go ahead. Say it. Say I’m a fucking wreck.” He threw his arm out and gestured to the mess. “A loser.”
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Looking at him then was like staring into my own face, months down the road.
This was what love did to a person. When it wasn’t right, or when it was so right you weren’t strong enough to survive it.
Swallowing hard, I pushed off the door and moved closer to him. I had nothing but instinct to guide me, and bone-deep understanding.
And I didn’t want him to hurt anymore.
“I’m—I’m with Giovanni Costas.”
His head came up, and his eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Yeah.” Nervously, I tucked my hair behind my ears. “No one knows. Fox doesn’t. My sister definitely doesn’t. They’d kill me, or at least wonder at my sanity.” I took another step forward, closing in on him. “But they don’t know how I feel. They aren’t in my head, or my heart. And I don’t care what they think.” I huffed out a breath. “Or I do, but not enough to give him up. Nothing and no one can make me do that.”
Except him.
He could, if he pushed me away. That day could come at any time.
Slater crossed his arms. “You’re screwing the guy who nearly killed Fox.”
Even expecting something less than sweet, I winced. Slater never used words like screwing. He rarely even swore. He was like the sanitized, more PC version of Fox, without the killer instinct that had made Fox so good in the ring.
This Slater was a whole new animal.
“He didn’t nearly kill Fox,” I muttered.
“He put him in the hospital. The guy was in agony for a long time.”
That judgmental tone coming from him of all people sent me over the edge. “Yeah, well, I guess he’s forgiven him, because he’s sure as hell had no problem sitting Gio at the dinner table in the spot that used to be yours.”
The moment the words were out, I wanted to snatch them back. But it was too late. Slater’s brows drew down and in, closing off his expression until I barely recognized him anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I said miserably. “It’s not like that. I know he misses you.”
“Oh, yeah, he misses me. That’s why he came over here to rip my balls off over some new thing Olivia supposedly did to his precious Mia yesterday. Something she couldn’t have done, because she’s not even in the fucking state!”
“Where is she?”
“Back home in fucking Georgia, with her mother.”
“Back in our hometown.” I didn’t wait for his nod before pacing away to place my hands on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. “She left you? When?”
“She left me, the state, and the whole situation with Mia and those bastards that attacked her behind.”
The back of my neck cooled as if someone had rubbed an ice cube down my spine. “What bastards? Tell me, please. It’s important.”
“They preyed on her, got close to her, took advantage of her raw emotions because she wanted money for her mother. Mia’s settlement cleaned them out and changed their entire lifestyle.” He held up a hand when I would’ve spoken. “No, don’t say it. I know what happened wasn’t Mia’s fault, but it wasn’t Olivia’s either. She adored her father. She didn’t know what he’d done.”
I whirled on him. “He was a monster. Do you know what he did to my sister? How he raped her repeatedly, and held her hostage—”
“I know.” Slater paled under his tan. “I know. And I agree with you. But Olivia wasn’t to blame for any of that. She was twelve when he took Mia. Twelve, Carly. Just about the same damn age you were when your sister was taken. Did you really understand any of what was happening back then?”
“I understood enough to know he was a horrible person. I’m sorry he was her father, and I’d say I was sorry she got hurt, if she hadn’t turned around and tried to fuck with my sister. She was an innocent victim in all of this.”
“She didn’t.” He shoved his hands through his hair. “All she did was make some phone calls and follow Mia and Fox a few times. She was curious, and not in a good way. And she hated Mia for ripping apart her family, because she didn’t know how to do anything but blame someone who wasn’t her father. But that was all she did, and she probably wouldn’t have done even if that if Lorenzo Donato hadn’t sought her out in the first place.”
I leaned against the counter, needing the support. “Why?”
“Because he wanted something to use against Mia, and Olivia was a handy target. She was already in New York, sniffing around things she shouldn’t have been, trying to understand. She was fascinated by Mia, just like people can’t stop rubbernecking at car accidents
. It wasn’t right, and I’m not excusing it, but in some ways, she’s still a confused little girl inside. They took advantage of her confusion and her pain, just like her father took advantage of Mia.”
My mind was reeling. Too much information, and I didn’t know what any of it meant. Nothing was as straightforward as it seemed on the surface. “If you think those two things are the same, you’re wrong.”
“Lorenzo threatened Olivia, wanted her to do their dirty work and hurt Mia because she disrespected and defied them. Olivia refused, which is why he had his minions rough her up. She’s terrified of them. She stayed with me for a couple weeks, then her fear won out. She’s in hiding now with her mother. They’re both terrified.” He moved forward and gripped my shoulders. “And you’re sleeping with one of those bastards. Olivia said Giovanni is one of their trusted associates. How long until he turns on you and you end up in hiding too—or worse?”
I fought back a shiver. “It’s not like that.”
“No, then you tell me what it’s like. I did my research and found out Giovanni is from one of the biggest organized crime families in power today.”
“How did you find that out?”
Was it part of a simple Google search? Had I been a willful idiot all along?
Yes. Yes, I had.
“Liam was a fucking SEAL. He has resources, and therefore so do I. I dug deep, saw some of what they’re into out in Vegas, where they come from. Drug running, prostitution, and illegal gambling schemes are just the tip of the iceberg.”
I didn’t speak. I didn’t have enough breath in my lungs. Not even because of what he’d said so far, but because of what I knew was coming. The unholy gleam in Slater’s eyes was all I needed to see to know he was going to bring me to my knees.
To the point I could no longer deflect, or deny.
“His older brother Dante is a consigliere in his father’s organization, and he’s wanted for murder. Giovanni was wanted for attempted murder, after his fiancée was gunned down in front of him—”
“No. Shut up. Stop.” I shoved his hands off my shoulders and cupped my palm over my mouth as I turned away. I couldn’t listen to this. I was going to being sick right here. “Please stop.”