Brighde watched Alex through lowered lashes. She watched the confusion, the shock, and then the shame wash over him. He pulled his sporran back in front of him and pushed his hands through his hair before scrubbing his face with his palms. She slid down from the rock and grasped his wrists. She tried to pull his hands away from his face, but he was too strong and too stubborn, so instead, she wiggled her way into his embrace by sliding up between his elbows. She wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Alex,” she whispered. “Alex, look at me. Please dinna shut me out and dinna ignore me.”
When he lowered his arms to his side but would not look at her, she pinched his backside. Hard.
“Brie,” he warned.
“Nay. Dinna ‘Brie’ me. Ye dinna do aught wrong. I was as much a part of what happened, and I enjoyed it just as much as ye. Dinna retreat from me. If I wanted to end things, I would have.”
“Ye dinna ken what I was planning to do. Ye dinna ken how close ye came to losing yer maidenhead. Yer virtue is nae mine to take.”
“True, but it is mine to give. Mayhap it wouldnae been the best choice either of us could make, but I dinna think I would regret it.”
“Ye canna say that. Ye canna ken for sure it wouldnae been the greatest mistake of yer life.”
“Because it would have been yers? My greatest mistake because it would have been yers too?” Brighde released him and spun away. She ripped her gown off the ground and moved away from the rock.
“Brie, dinna walk away. Please. I’m only trying to protect ye.”
Brighde halted and when she spun around, Alex braced himself. She marched back to him and threw her kirtle back down. She stood to her fullest height and pointed an angry finger at him.
“Dinna! Dinna think that ye ken what’s best for me all the time. Dinna think ye have the right to take ma choices away from me. Ye’ll never have that right. And dinna feel like ye must protect me all the time. I dinna need it. I certainly dinna need ye protecting me from yerself. I’m a woman full grown, and I ken ma own mind. I ran to the Sinclairs to escape men who would control me nae to find more.” She was fully yelling by the time she was finished.
Alex spread his feet wide and crossed his arms then leaned forward from the hips. Even like this, and even though she was not that much shorter than him, he still managed to tower over her.
“Dinna need to protect ye? From me? Ye really are naïve then. Do ye ken what I was aboot to do? I was aboot to fuck ye. Aye, fuck. I was going to take ye against a rock as hard and fast as I could. I was going to stick ma cock in ye, and pound into ye until ye were screaming ma name. I wanted to fill ye with ma seed until I couldnae see straight and then probably try it again in five minutes. Ye make me lose all sense of self-control, and ye ken the only person that would harm? That would be ye. What if I planted a bairn in yer belly? What if people learned that I’d compromised ye? Ye want to talk about nae taking choices away from ye, well what kind of choices do ye think ye would have then?” Alex bellowed. He was shaking with anger that was as equally directed at her as at himself. “I dinna want to force ye into aught, and that includes staying here. If I had taken yer maidenhead, that choice would have gone away because I can tell ye that I wouldnae let ye walk away once we’d been together. Ye can be bluidy certain of that.”
Alex stood up and stared out to sea. He was still shaking with anger and guilt. It was an overwhelming sensation that left him feeling like he had just been in battle. His chest heaved as he took deep lungfuls of air. He looked down when he felt two small hands gently rest on his forearm. He tried not to scowl, but he was not sure he was successful.
“Alex, ye are right. I dinna think I’m wrong either, but I can admit that ye are right. Either way, I dinna want to keep arguing today. We have argued more in this morning than I would have ever imagined. The daftest part of it is that I think we are arguing the same side but against one another. I dinna think this is us. Nae really. Our frustration comes from us both wanting something we ken we canna have. Ye are temptation incarnate for me, and I ken that. If I can just keep a little distance from ye and nae let maself get carried away by yer muscles and whisky colored eyes, then we would both be better off. I still dinna want to give up on the day ye planned.”
Alex looked down at her and uncrossed his arms. As he did so, he purposely flexed his chest, so it would strain against his leine, and he batted his eyelashes at her. She could not help but giggle.
“Ma braw muscles, ye say. And what was that again? Ma whisky colored eyes. Lass, ye’re going to make me blush.”
Brighde swatted at his arm and leaned down to yet again pick up her clothes.
“I didna mean it as a compliment. I was just stating a fact.” She turned to once again walk towards their abandoned picnic. She felt a swat on her backside that made her jump forward a step or two.
“If I’m temptation incarnate, then ye are the devil in disguise. I canna help but want to spend ma day staring at and touching yer petal soft skin and silky skeins of hair. I have never seen hair like yers before. It and all the rest of ye mesmerizes me.”
“See, now. Ye can be quite the charmer when ye want to be,” Brighde said as Alex walked alongside her. She leaned back slightly to get a good look at his backside as his plaid swished about his legs. She once again caught Alex off guard when she gave him a firm swat on his backside. At his look of surprise, she responded smugly, “what’s good for the gander is good for the goose.”
The rest of the day passed nicely for them. Alex had the foresight to pack up their picnic while Brighde had been walking to and then hiding behind the rock. It has saved it from the seagulls that were dancing around the basket in search of a way to claim the booty. They ate and talked for a while, and once the tide began to go out, Alex took Brighde over to a sea cave that he and his siblings explored often as children. With the water low, they were easily able to wade and climb into the cave entrance. The sun was angled to let light into the dark recesses, and Brighde could see where the Sinclair children had carved their names and pictures into the walls. There was still a pile of driftwood stored in the back, but it was old and rotten after too much exposure to the water and damp air.
Alex led Brighde to the back of the cave where she found a deep pool that looked like it was naturally lit from below. Alex explained that it was actually light refracted through a hole in the ceiling. When the tide came in and the water was rough, the opening served as a blowhole. The water spout could be viewed from the ridge above where they had tied up his horse.
“The water is actually warmer in this pool than ye would expect. We think there is a natural spring that helps to fill this because even with all the seawater that washes into the cave when the tide is high, the pool never gets that cold.”
“Can I swim in it?”
“Do ye ken how to swim?”
“Aye. Like a fish.”
“Then ye can, but we canna dally once the tide begins to shift. If we dinna leave the cave right away, we’ll be trapped. Neither of us would fit through the blowhole, so there is nae escape once the water rises, and the waves will only push us back in rather than letting us out.”
Brighde nodded her head as she peered over the side of the pool. She could see the bottom, and it was far too deep for her to ever dive all the way down. She moved along until she inched her way up a cluster of rocks to the ledge that jutted out over the water. Alex watched as she climbed, only mildly surprised at her agility and strength. He reminded himself of all she survived to make it to his clan. He was just about to warn her about the rocks being slippery with algae when she stepped to the edge and dove into a flip. She did two somersaults before diving perfectly into the water, leaving nearly no splash at all. Alex watched as she traveled further and further into the pool’s depths like an arrow shot from a Welsh bow. He began to worry when she did not turn to come back up to the surface. He unfastened his sporran and let his plaid drift to the ground. He pulled his leine over his head and grippe
d the handle of his dirk between his teeth. He and his brothers and sister had often seen menacing fish when they dove too deeply. He was kicking himself for forgetting to warn her about them. He scaled the ledge from which Brighde dove, knowing that he needed the added height to give him enough force to follow her down. He plunged into the water and looked around for her. Between the light that glowed in the water and her luminescent blonde hair, she was easy to spot. She was no longer moving deeper but was simply floating. He kicked his legs to reach her but was careful not to startle her. The last thing he needed was for her to expel all her air or suck in water when they were so far below the surface. He carefully came around her and approached slowly. He swam into her line of sight, and she waved. Then she pointed down to where a group of fish was swimming. Alex nodded his head but pointed upwards. She nodded, looking once more down at the school, and then began to kick her way to the surface. Alex watched as her hair flowed around her back, and her strong legs moved her higher and higher. If he had been a sailor, he would have sworn he was watching a mermaid or a selkie.
When they both reached the surface, they pulled themselves out and laid on their backs to catch their breath. When Alex finally felt like his lungs were not going to explode, he rolled onto his side to look at her. She smiled up at him and then rolled to face him. They lay on their sides looking at each other for what felt like an eternity, but they were both content. Brighde shivered once and found herself being pulled into Alex’s embrace. She burrowed her way into his chest to find the spot on his shoulder where her head fit perfectly.
“Alex, thank ye for bringing me here. I ken this is a special place for yer family. I dinna think ye’ve brought anyone else down here, so sharing this means a great deal to me.”
“I havenae brought anyone else here. I dinna think any of ma brothers or ma sister have ever brought someone else here either. Mama and Da taught us to explore the cave, and once they were sure we wouldnae easily get ourselves killed, they let us come down here as long as there were at least three of us.”
“Three?”
“That way if something happened to one of us, there would be one to go for help and one to stay with the injured.”
“So, who was usually left out? Mairghread?”
“Nay. She was usually the first one to make it in here. Ye say ye swim like a fish, but ma sister was born with gills, I swear. For the longest time, it was all four of us who came together, but as Callum got older and started being trained to one day be the laird, he wasna able to slip away as easily.” Brighde watched as Alex stared over her shoulder lost to memories. Memories that Brighde would never have. She had been raised like an only child when she was with her grandparents because her uncle did not marry until just a year before her family died of sickness. When she returned to her father’s keep, her half-brothers were not only disinterested in her, they were often cruel. Her half-sisters thought themselves better than her and snubbed her at every opportunity. She spent much of her time in the gardens or riding her horse alone. A pang of emotion that she realized was jealousy washed over her. It was brief but intense. She knew she would never have what Alex had, and that was more than just siblings. She would never have a warm and loving family, a place where she felt like she belonged, or a home where she longed to stay. These had all been out of her reach her entire life, and they did not appear to be getting any more attainable.
Alex brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek and then stroked the back of her head.
“I ken ye didna have a similar upbringing, but ye are home here for as long as ye would like.”
She smiled up at him and nodded. She closed her eyes and rested her head against him. They laid like that until Alex felt himself starting to drift off.
“Brie, we canna stay much longer. I nearly fell asleep. It must be getting close to when the tide changes. We need to go before it’s too late.” Alex stood and reached out a hand to help her up. He quickly pleated and wrapped his plaid around him securing it with the double belt that held his sporran and kept his plaid in place.
After gathering up the remnants of their picnic, Alex helped Brighde back into her now dry but very stiff and crunchy gown. She tried not to let Alex see just how itchy it was as she climbed the slope back up to the horse. Brighde had not noticed when they arrived, but there was the tiniest of streams on the other side of the tree from where Alex had tied Naomh. The horse had grazed down all the surrounding grass and been able to drink as he wanted. They mounted up and returned to the keep.
Chapter Nine
Alexander and Brighde returned to a bailey full of horses and men. Not recognizing anyone, Brighde immediately froze out of fear. Alex could feel the tension pouring forth but did not understand her sudden change. He watched as her head swung on a pendulum, and she took in all the activity. She did not even realize her nails were biting into his forearm until he covered her hands with his.
“Dinna fash. It’s just ma brothers returned. Though I dinna ken why they are back so soon. We expected them to be away with Siùsan’s kin for quite a while longer. I can see Tavish and Magnus, but I dinna see Callum or Siùsan.” Alex rode them over to the stable entrance and helped Brighde dismount.
Brighde kept looking around with her head on a swivel. It had been nearly a decade since she had been in a Highland keep filled with warriors. It was a little overwhelming and intimidating for someone who was in hiding.
“Alex, what aboot all these men? They arenae all in Sinclair plaids. Who are they?”
Alex noticed the same thing, but it did not trouble him since he recognized the pattern right away.
“MacLeods. They are Siùsan’s mother’s clan. But I dinna ken why they are here. She, Callum, Magnus, and Tavish went to visit them. Come, I’ll introduce ye.”
Alex reached to take her hand, but she shied away. She ducked behind him as a group of men passed by. Alex felt her quiver as he reached back to take her hand. He silently guided her to the lady’s garden and let them through the gate.
“Brie, I dinna ever want ye to be afraid here. Ye are safe nay matter who comes to visit. Ma da doesnae tolerate anyone mistreating women, and he will never turn a blind eye to a badly-behaved guest. Ye dinna have to fear them.”
“Alex, I’m a runaway. A runaway bride at that. I fear any and every one I dinna ken. Anyone of them could tell the wrong person that they saw me, and de Soules or ma father could come beating down yer gate. Or worse, lay siege to the castle. What then? That would harm everyone who has been kind to me. I dinna think ye should introduce me to anyone. The fewer people who ken I am here, the better for all of us. I dinna want anyone to come to any harm for hiding me.”
“Mo ghràidh, first of all, this is ma family that ye’re talking about. Ma brothers learned of ye when they were here last. Ye were still ill, so there wasna much to tell, but they ken of ye. Secondly, the MacLeod chief seems to ken ma da vera well from the looks of how they were getting on. Thirdly, anyone foolish enough to lay siege to this castle will starve long before we would need to surrender. We are well provisioned and well-armed. I amnae afraid of that, and I dinna want ye to be afraid either.”
“Ye keep saying that, Alex, but it wasna ye who had a father and future husband try to kill ye. It wasna ye who traveled the length of Scotland to escape those two bastards. It isnae ye who must make her way alone. It’s easy for ye to tell me nae to be afraid when ye have naught to fear yerself.” Bridge shook her head as Alex reached for her. Instead, she laced her fingers with his. “Alex, I just need to go slowly until I ken for sure who I can trust. Right now, I dinna want to meet anyone in the state I’m in. Please let me get cleaned up, and then I will return. I just need to gather maself a bit before I’m launched into socializing with more people than I have seen in nearly two moons.”
“Fair enough,” Alex kissed her hands and opened the side door to let her in. He followed her in and made sure she made it up the stairs safely before searching for Hagatha. He had a bath sent up
for her while he went to the back of the kitchens for his own chance to sluice down.
~~~
Alex had just finished bathing and was drying off when he heard two of his brothers enter the kitchens.
“There he is. The mon lives! He isnae just a memory or a trick of our imaginations,” boomed Tavish.
“Aye. I thought he’d scampered off and left us for good,” laughed Magnus.
“Haud yer wheesht. I havenae ever ‘scampered off’ anywhere. I dinna even ken how to scamper,” he playfully growled as the three hulking men hugged and shoved one another like a pack of puppies.
“How was yer journey? Ye are back far sooner than we expected.”
Magnus and Tavish exchanged a look before Tavish nodded his head.
“We had a bit of trouble. Siùsan was kidnapped one night after most of us ate a drugged supper. We tracked her down, but we had to stop at the MacLeod’s first to get help and men from her grandfather. Alex, it was bad. Vera bad. As bad as with Mairghread,” Magnus explained.
The mere mention of their own sister’s abduction just before she married was enough to make Alex blanche and then feel the blood pulsing through his scalp. He, his brothers, and his now brother by marriage arrived just in time to keep Mairghread from being raped. It had been and still was the worse day of his life. The memory of what he saw was enough to make the bile rise in his throat. He could only imagine what his brothers must have gone through to experience something so similar all over again.
“Is she well? I mean did they--?”
“Nay. We arrived in time, but it was vera close. I dinna ken if Callum will ever forgive himself for how badly his courtship and marriage started. He has been doting on Siùsan every minute of every day. But I can hardly blame him,” Tavish shook his head slightly.
His Highland Prize (The Clan Sinclair Book 3) Page 12