“CHAMPIONS.”
We part, take our positions, listen to the sound of the whistle starting the game, but it’s all a blur.
Every chance I get, I’m looking toward the squad, desperate to know if she’s looking at me, although, I know she’s not. I’d feel it if she were. What is obvious every time I glance over is the fact she’s no longer front and center of her own squad, but more pushed to the sidelines. I see the way the other girls look at her. It seems they are less than impressed with their captain’s reappearance, much like the rest of the school will be when they discover she’s back, I would imagine.
A few weeks might have passed, but it hasn’t been long enough for anyone to forget what she did. I’m not sure any amount of time will be enough for some.
I struggle to get into the game for the entire sixty minutes, thankfully my body does what it’s supposed to be doing while my mind is back in my bedroom all those weeks ago. I told myself that I needed to forget it. That it was a moment of madness that we’d both regret, but I can’t. No matter what I do, I can’t fucking forget it.
The win is euphoric, especially after it looked like we were going to come away second at one point. The guilt was already beginning to build that it would have been my fault for not being fully focused, but how can I be with her right there?
Winning a game always feels incredible. But nothing can prepare me for the moment that final whistle blows announcing us the state champion winners. It’s fucking mind-blowing.
Every single one of us turns and runs for Jake, needing to celebrate as one, as a team. I might have spent a lot of my time trying to separate myself from some of these guys, but right now. We are one. And we just fucking smashed it.
We’re all grinning and laughing like idiots as we eventually stumble back into the locker room. We’re sweaty, covered in mud, but no one gives a shit. All everyone wants to do is party. I don’t blame them, if things were different, I’d want to celebrate in style too. But the euphoria of the win aside, the last thing I want to do is go home to watch my dad soak up the glory as if he just won our final game single-handedly.
So what, he’s ex-NFL and might have been the one to first teach me to catch and throw a ball. He wasn’t on the field tonight. I was. He shouldn’t be soaking up the glory, lapping up the attention. I should. I mean, mostly it’s the last thing I want, all attention on me, but still. If I wanted it, it should be mine.
We hit the showers, the excitement for what the rest of the night might hold vibrates around us, how the girls are going to hero-worship us the second we leave this room is all the guys can talk about. And while it might be an exciting prospect. I know that I’m going to have to deal with her. Or worse, she’s going to ignore me like I don’t exist. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fairly standard to be invisible. Most days I’ve thrived on it. But she’s ignored me one too many times and made one too many mistakes.
Everyone else might be angry, but it’s the quiet one she needs to be worried about.
The crowd erupts once again when the guys push open the double doors that take us out of the stadium. They immediately get swallowed up into the crowd, which unsurprisingly the cheer squad are front and center of.
Jake and Mason are immediately pounced on by their girls before Ethan parts the crowd and makes a beeline for his. Jealousy stirs in my belly. It’s not just because I went after Amalie first, despite his asshole ways, even I can see that they’re right together. I was just trying to convince myself that I could want someone else. Something more… normal. But I guess that wasn’t meant to be.
I’m just about to push my way through to find my parents who no doubt will be somewhere close, my dad most probably signing autographs like he just made the final play to win the game. I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. Nothing ever changes. I’d like to think that when I get out of here in a few months that I’ll be able to live my own life, but that’s not likely to happen with my dad already having colleges lined up for me. Him and football seem to control every part of my life. Just because my brothers have it flowing through their veins like he does and happily followed his advice to start at Maddison last year, it doesn’t mean I want the same.
I step forward, ready to push away the roaming hands of any cheerleader who thinks they’ve got a chance with me tonight, but before I reach the crowd, warm fingers wrap around my wrist.
I know who it is immediately. I don’t need to turn, the tingles that run up my arm are evidence enough.
She tugs and I stupidly follow. I should ignore her and walk on by like she’s nothing to me. Only she’s not. No matter how much she might deserve it. She’s something. Always has been.
She pulls me into the shadows, away from prying eyes of the gathered crowd waiting for their heroes.
“Congrats, champ.” Her voice flows over me like fucking silk and it makes my teeth clench. She should not have this effect on me.
I keep my eyes on the ground, afraid of what’ll happen when I look into her large, chocolate ones.
“Shane?”
I take a step closer. If she thinks it’s because I’ve missed her and want to be close, then she’s wrong. This is nothing but a warning. She’s messed with my head long enough. It’s time for this bullshit between us to end.
I suck in a breath and prepare to look at her.
Lifting my head, my throat closes slightly when I take in her expression. Gone is the confident girl who thought she ran the school, and in her place is the girl I always knew was hiding beneath.
Where did she go and what exactly has happened to her in the past few weeks?
I push my concern aside. She doesn’t deserve it.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Chelsea?”
3
Chelsea
I knew returning without warning wasn’t going to be easy, but I never could have imagined the looks on my squad’s faces when I arrived to warm up before the game.
Shelly stood front and center leading the troops. I knew she’d step up, as my assistant captain she was always hungry for power. She was probably barking orders before I was even out of town.
Every single set of eyes stared me up and down, their lips curling in disgust that I dare turn up dressed in my uniform and expecting to join them.
This was my squad. So what I left? I never quit, I never officially handed things over to Shelly, I just had a… break.
They allowed me to cheer for the game, although none of them wanted me there. That was clear enough from the looks alone, but they had clearly put a lot of work into re-choreographing my routines so that I didn’t exist. It was embarrassing, I could only hope that people were too excited about the game to notice me looking like a lost puppy while the entire squad appeared to be experts.
I was out of practice, I knew that, but it was even more horrific than I was expecting.
The eyes of the team drilled into me as each one noticed my sudden appearance. A few ran their eyes down my body in the way they do that makes my skin crawl with disgust. I know why they do it. It’s my own fault. I know how I acted. What I made them all think of me.
It was stupid. I’m stupid.
Once the crowd started dispersing and the squad brings their routine to a close. Shelly turns to me, what was my loyal group of girls standing behind her like an army.
“You can go now. No one wants you here.” She looks me up and down as she would one of the nerds we used to mock together and a lump the size of the ball the guys were just throwing around climbs up my throat.
“But—”
“No. You lost any right to this squad when you started drugging our players,” Shelly spits, her hands on her hips. “You’re nothing here. You. Are. Not. Welcome.”
She nods her head to the squad and they immediately follow her lead. They all walk past me. Not one giving me a second glance as they make their way toward where the team will emerge from. A couple even go as far as slamming their shoulders into mine just to really nail the point home.
“F
uck,” I bark once they’re out of earshot. Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I refuse to cry. I am stronger than this.
They won’t break me.
They might think they’ve dethroned me, but they need to realize that my crown is going nowhere, it’s currently just a little crooked.
Sucking in a large breath, I straighten my uniform. It used to fit me like a second skin, but now… I just can’t wait to get out of it and into something more comfortable. That’s something I never thought I’d say.
I follow the way the squad left a few minutes ago. I might have been dreading seeing them, but their reaction was predictable. There’s someone else whose opinion about me being back is a little more up in the air.
I know he’s seen me. I felt his eyes drilling into me when he should have been focusing on the game. It was one of the reasons I nearly didn’t come. I didn’t want to take anyone’s focus away from winning this for us, but equally, I wanted to be a part of it. I’ve worked tirelessly for years for this squad and supporting our team, I wanted to experience it too. Selfish? Yeah, probably after everything I’ve done, but I’m still a senior at this school. I want these memories too.
The crowd is already huge by the doors where the team will emerge from, so it takes me quite a while to fight my way through. I also successfully drag a few more students’ attention my way that clearly weren’t watching the squad through the game. Eyes widen and chins drop at my appearance, but I ignore them. Everyone knows me as a stone-faced whore, so that’s the mask I’ll slip on and give them what they expect.
I stand on the edge of the crowd where I can see the guys emerge and hopefully catch the attention of the one I want. My stomach flutters with nerves as I wait. The excitement around me only increases as the minutes tick by. But nothing could have prepared me for the eruption of noise when the door opens for the first time.
A few of the guys emerge and the crowd goes crazy, engulfing them into the mass of bodies. The noise level only increases when the captain appears with his boys at his sides. The wide smile on Jake’s face makes something twist in my stomach. But it’s no longer jealousy as he searches for Amalie in the crowd. For many, many years, I thought Jake was it for me. I mean, the captain of the football team and the captain of the cheer squad are meant to be, right? No, apparently not. It didn’t stop me from spending the best part of the last few years following him around like a lost puppy while trying to do anything to get his attention. It worked… once. I gave him my V-card one night when he’d had way too much to drink. I don’t think he even realized he was my first… or it was even me he was fucking, to be honest.
A sigh passes my lips as I think about that night. It was only a few weeks before Amalie arrived and she swept him straight out from under my feet. Not that he ever showed me there was anything between us, other than that night.
I was gutted. There had only been two guys up until that point that I’d really wanted and although the first one thinks of me as a little sister, the second had used my body and still didn’t want me.
Am I really that unlovable?
Zayn appears, quickly followed by the one I want.
My stomach somersaults as I take in his shaggy blond hair that’s still wet from his shower and his clean Bear’s jersey that clings to his sculpted chest.
My mind takes me back to the one time I got up close and personal to that chest. I vividly remember what my hands looked like as I pressed them against his pecs to get some leverage.
Heat fills my veins as I relive that fateful night.
He takes two steps from the building and my stomach drops thinking that he’s going to walk straight out and not see me. Taking matters into my own hands, I reach out and grasp his wrist. He stills for a beat and I panic that he’s about to rip himself away before even acknowledging me.
He keeps his eyes on the ground for the longest time. I just start to think that he’s going to refuse to look at me when his head lifts.
I gasp when his green eyes connect with mine. But they’re not like I remember. They’re not soft and kind. They’re hard and angry, rightly so. My heart aches as I look into them. Has the boy I’ve been craving gone?
My skin prickles with awareness as our eyes hold. But the longer it lasts the darker his get and the tingles of excitement I first felt give way to a different kind. Fear. Fear that he’s going to break our connection and walk away from me, much like I did that night. I guess it’s what I deserve. No. It is what I deserve.
He steps toward me, and my hope rises. He might be angry, but at least he’s going to acknowledge me. When he looked away the first time our eyes connected when he was playing, it hurt. Really fucking bad. He’s the one person I need on my side right now. I just need to figure out how I’m going to make that happen because right now, he looks like he’s barely restraining himself from sending me back to where I just came from.
The second he’s before me, he wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me back into the shadows, away from prying eyes. Oh great, he’s ashamed of talking to me. Good start.
I roll my eyes at myself and allow him to drag me to where he wants me.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Chelsea?”
“Waiting for you.” My voice is so sickly sweet it hurts my own ears and makes me wince.
“Did you really think that was the best idea? No one wants you here.”
My heart drops at the truth in his words. “Even you?”
He stares at me, his jaw popping as his teeth grind before he lets out a sigh. “Chels.”
“No,” I snap. “Don’t Chels me. Tell me how it is. Tell me how you really feel.”
“You shouldn’t have turned up tonight. If we lost, it would have been your fault.”
“But you didn’t, did you, champ?” I step forward and run my hands up his chest, desperate to know if that connection is still there between us.
Before I get a chance to feel it, my hands are ripped away.
“Not here. Not tonight.”
His eyes hold mine, his warning loud and clear.
I open my mouth to say more, but he steps away before any words pass my lips.
His eyes drop down the length of my body, a little heat creeps into them and pushes the anger away.
He remembers as well as I do.
“Go and find a more willing member of the team. They all want to celebrate tonight, and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to get you on your knees.”
My chin drops. I’m not shocked by the suggestion, it’s the fact the words are coming from his mouth that surprises me.
He’s always been the kind one, I always thought the pushover. Maybe I don’t know all there is to know about the quietest member of the team.
I don’t get to say anymore because when I come back to myself, he’s gone. Swallowed by the crowd who are overjoyed to celebrate with their champions.
I stay where I am, watching the excitement that I should be in the center of with a heavy heart.
Before long, everyone starts to disperse. Tonight’s celebrations are happening in the Dunn household. We haven’t had a proper party there—that I know of—since Shane’s eighteenth, but knowing his dad, I’m not surprised he wants to take charge of tonight.
Mom’s been friends with Maddie, Shane’s mom, since before I arrived in town. Everything that goes on under that roof is football related or somehow a reminder of Brett’s success and the future he wants for all his boys. Mom always jokes about what it would have been like if they’d had three girls who weren’t at all interested in the game. It doesn’t really bear thinking about.
I wait until the area is clear before stepping out of the shadows. After how Shane just was with me, I don’t really want the wrath of anyone else.
I had hoped that he would be nice, maybe have some weird understanding that I needed to do this, that I needed time away and that I had to be here for this.
I know it’s crazy to ask that of him. He has no idea about anything, well oth
er than the basics.
Mom’s friendship with both Maddie and Kelly, Ethan’s mom, means they know some things about my life, some of the darkness that my parents rescued me from.
Just because I felt like we had some kind of connection that night, that when he looks at me, he can see deeper than the others, it doesn’t mean he knows any of the shit that follows me around and why I do the stuff I do.
He sees me the same as the others do. I’m disposable to him. Just a cheer slut to use and abuse when the time is right.
I thought he was different.
With a sigh, I emerge to find a few students and their families loitering by their cars, but no one gives me a second glance.
I look down at myself. I’ve never felt more out of place or uncomfortable, but equally, I’ve never been one to do things to give me an easy life.
I jump in my car and start the engine. The rumble races through me and I can’t help feeling a little better. I haven’t driven since I left this place, and suddenly having this freedom once again fills me with excitement.
I could drive and just keep going. I could leave Rosewood behind for good. Would anyone besides my parents actually miss me? I very much doubt it.
I could set up my own life and embark on a new future.
I rest my head back and blow out a long breath.
It doesn’t really matter if I stay here or if I skip town. Life is going to be unrecognizable for me, it seems, and I can’t see it getting any easier any time soon.
I should drive home, make myself a hot chocolate and dive into my bed in the hope that I never have to emerge ever again. But when I pull out of the stadium parking lot, I don’t head for home. I turn the same way almost all the others have and in the direction of the Dunn household.
What’s the point in hiding, I may as well rip the Band-Aid off in one night, right?
Seeing as I’m probably one of the last to arrive, I can’t park anywhere near his house. The Dunn residence isn’t a stranger to a party. Hell, it’s where I learned that I could drink most guys under the table and that if I touch them the right way, then they’ll be like putty in my hands.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 2