“No.”
“Why not? I deserve it. I deserve to be the whore on her knees in front of everyone who was on that beach.”
My teeth grind as I try to keep the truth hidden. “Chelsea,” I warn.
“Come on, Shane. You had so much to say earlier. Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?”
She releases me and I breathe a sigh of relief, but it only lasts the briefest of seconds because before I have a chance to get my head straight, she wrapped her fingers around the sides of my sweats and pulled harshly.
My length is in her hand in a second and she strokes slowly, her huge chocolate eyes staring up at me.
“Is this what you wanted when you came here tonight, Shane? Did you want a quick thrill so you could say you’d fucked me when I was down?”
I open my mouth to answer, but no intelligible words come out. My head screams at me to move, but I’m trapped between the counter and Chelsea’s parted lips. My muscles are fucking frozen to the spot.
“How badly do you want my mouth, Shane? How desperate are you to feel my lips wrap around your cock? To have me suck you until you’re dry?”
“Fuuuck.”
“Well, it seems tonight really isn’t your lucky night.”
“Huh? What? Chels—”
She pushes away from me and stands, a triumphant smile on her face.
“Shane, put your fucking cock away and get out of my pool house. You’re not welcome here.”
My jaw drops.
“What?” She chuckles. “You thought you could walk in here, threaten me and that I’d drop to my knees and make up for my mistakes? Fuck off, Shane. I might have regrets, but they don’t make me weak. Especially where you are concerned.”
I swallow harshly as I pull my sweats back up. With her arms crossed over her breasts in a way that only makes them look more appealing, she takes a step toward me.
“If you want to play, Shane.” Her eyes drop down the length of my body, tingles erupt in their wake. “Then let’s play. But I can assure you that you’ll lose.”
Why do I get the idea that she’s right? I came here tonight to have it out with her, yet I’m the one leaving after being chewed a new one.
“I’m not playing your games. I wanted you to understand what your mistakes did to me.” My eyes trail down her body much like she just did to me. “But I see it was pointless. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. Goodbye, Chelsea.” I push from the counter and march through her pool house toward the door I entered through not so long ago.
“Hey, Shane?” her soft voice calls out to me. I shouldn’t turn back. I should keep walking with my head held high and not give her the satisfaction. Of course, that’s what I should do. Just like the night I became Chelsea’s newest victim; I do the opposite of what would be sensible.
I look back over my shoulder to find her holding her arms out at her sides. Except for her tiny pair of panties, her body is bare for me.
“Get a good look. It’s the last time you’re going to see it.”
I keep my eyes on hers. I’ve already fallen for too many of her games tonight.
“Get rid of Jake Thorn’s jersey, Chelsea. His number doesn’t belong to you,” I demand before ripping the door open and stepping out into the night beyond.
“Fuck you, Shane,” she shouts at me, and despite the fact I’m still hard as fuck from her touch and the sight of her body, a triumphant smile tugs at one side of my lips.
I might have played right into her hands back there, but there’s one thing I’m certain of. If I made the right move tonight, I could have taken back power.
She wanted me as much as I wanted her. And it’s only a matter of time until it’s going to happen again.
My cock throbs and my mouth waters.
She might think she’s fierce, but I’m going to prove that she has more weaknesses than just her need for power.
9
Chelsea
A sob erupts the second he closes the door behind him. Tears burn my eyes and I’m unable to stop them from falling as I wrap my arms around my middle in an attempt to hold myself together.
This isn’t what I wanted for us when I came back. I know it’s what I deserve. Probably less than what I deserve. But the fact he’s talking to me, turning up here even, shows me that there’s a chance I can rediscover the sweet guy that I know is hiding inside from that night.
Thoughts of how he touched me, the things he whispered in my ear cause another sob to rumble up.
I need that Shane. I need the boy who’s going to pull me into his arms and make me feel safe. Not the cruel replacement that turned up here tonight looking for revenge.
With my head spinning, I take a step toward my bedroom, bending down to pick up my discarded jersey as I go. It’s the one I’ve always worn with Jake’s number on the back. Why would I wear any other when he was the one I wanted? But Shane is right. It’s wrong of me to wear it now. Even in private. Jake’s not mine, he never was, and he never will be.
He rejected me, just like so many others in my life before him. I guess it’s something I should be used to by now.
I drop it in the laundry basket as I pass with a sigh. It’s time I moved on with my life and start focusing on the future instead of everything I’ve fucked up in my past.
Pulling open a drawer, I find a tank and pair of sleep shorts and curl up in the center of my bed in a ball as my tears soak my pillow.
I shouldn’t have come back here. It’s been barely twenty-four hours of my fresh start and I’m already fucking everything up.
The guy I want more than anything to pull me into his arms and tell me that everything is going to be okay has just slammed the door in my face and walked away without looking back. None of my squad wants me, and the rest of the school looked at me as if I was a piece of trash.
I deserve it, I know that, I do. But I couldn’t help hoping it wouldn’t be quite this bad.
It was delusional.
I’m delusional.
I blow out a shaky breath as I come up with a plan. Just finish school and then start over somewhere else, anywhere else. The thought of leaving my parents at a time when I’m going to need them the most terrifies me, but I know they’ll be better off without me. It might have been their choice to allow me into their home all those years ago, and then to keep me when they thought they saw something redeemable inside me or some bullshit, but they don’t need the drama I bring to their lives. I bet they had a great time the past few weeks without me being here. They could go to bed at night not wondering if they were going to get a drunken wake up call, or worse, blue and white flashing lights on the doorstep again as Dad’s cop friend dragged my ass home.
Jesus. I was a mess.
When I wake the next morning, my eyes are sore from crying and my chest still aches as I remember watching Shane walk away. But knowing I need to do something, anything to try to feel normal once again, I find my cell and risk a message to someone who’s always picked me up in the past.
Chelsea: Hey! Are you still in town?
Luca: Yeah, heading back to MKU later. Breakfast?
A smile twitches at my lips that he knows exactly what I need.
Chelsea: Would love to. Pick me up in an hour?
Luca: I’ll be there x
I bite down on my lip as a little bit of the old me creeps in. Luca has always been my go-to Dunn brother. I can’t lie, I gravitated to him at the beginning because he was so hot. He was the older brother that all the girls fancied but would never have a chance with. As much as I didn’t want to accept it, I didn’t have a chance either, but unlike my friends, I got to spend time with him and in my naïve little head, attempt to convince him I was the one for him. Reality was that I was a prepubescent girl who he saw as a sister of some sort.
He’s always been so sweet and always ignored my advances despite my best attempts over the years. I never really gave up, but as my boobs grew and I found my place as a varsity cheerleader, I discovered I c
ould get the attention of almost every other boy in our class, so I shifted my attention.
Luca’s always been there though, acting like the brother I never had and helping to steer me in the right direction more often than not.
I have a quick shower, blow dry my hair, and apply my makeup just like I always do. I do it without thinking about my reality as I focus on such mundane tasks.
It’s not until I pull my closet open and stare at all my clothes that I allow reality to seep in.
My cheer uniforms hang proudly at one end beside shelves of sports bras and yoga pants. It’s only been a few weeks really, but even still, I feel different. I still want the same things, I want my squad, my future, I want to find love, but all of that suddenly seems a little less important these days.
Reaching in, I pull out my favorite pair of pants and pull the hot pink fabric up my legs before grabbing the matching sports bra and dragging an oversized tank over the top. I’ll go for pancakes with Luca then head to the beach for a run after, burn off the excess sugar.
There was a gym at the center, but it was nowhere near as kitted out as I needed it to be in order to attempt to stay in shape. I might not be rejoining my squad anytime soon, but I’m not losing the years of hard work I’ve put in.
I give myself one final glance in the mirror before I head for the door. I look the same on the outside. My large eyes still hold the dark memories from my past that I’ll forever hold inside, only now, there’s an extra secret to keep to myself, for now at least.
I’m just closing the pool house door when the beep of his horn sounds out. Mom and Dad are sitting at the dining table when I pass through the kitchen.
“Morning, Chelsea. Did you sleep well?”
I think about my late-night visitor but quickly push him aside. “It was great,” I lie easily.
“Have you got plans for today? I was thinking we could head to the mall and start our Christmas shopping.” The hopeful look in her eyes damn near kills me. She’s so desperate for us to be a normal family.
“Sure,” I concede, unable to disappoint her once again. “I’m going for breakfast with Luca, then I’ll come straight back.”
“Okay. Have fun, sweetie.”
After swiping a strawberry from her plate, I make my way to the front of the house when Luca beeps again.
Jogging down the steps from the house, I almost feel like my old self when I find him smiling at me through the driver’s window of his truck.
“Looking good, beautiful.” He makes a show of checking me out as I jog around the front and pull the door open. I’m sure a few years ago I’d have died a million deaths if he ever looked at me like that, but that’s not how things are between us now. He’s off killing it at MKU and I’m here pulling the pin out of the grenade on my life.
“Hey. Is that a bit of girl on your face?” I joke, reaching over to wipe an invisible mark off his cheek.
“Glad to see they didn’t take away your smart ass.”
“There’s nothing to worry about where my ass is concerned, Dunn.”
He chuckles at me before putting the car in reverse and backing out of my parents’ driveway.
“And if you must know, there was no girl last night. I just hung out with Leon, Shane, and Dad watching old NFL games.”
The mention of Shane is like a baseball bat to the gut.
“You okay?” he asks, glancing over when he pulls up at an intersection. “All the color’s just drained from your face.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”
“You hanging, Chels? That why you needed this breakfast?”
“Something like that,” I mutter.
“So what? You head to the beach with your squad and celebrate returning to your tribe?”
I look over expecting to find that he’s joking, but I do a double take when I find him looking deadly serious.
“What?” he asks when the silence between us gets a little too much.
“I don’t have a squad, Luc. The only celebrating my tribe will be doing is that they’ve gotten rid of me.”
“What the fuck?” he barks.
“Oh come on, you’ve heard the rumors. You know why I left. Don’t tell me you really expected me to be able to turn back up and reenter my old life like nothing happened.” I take from the opening and closing of his mouth that he did. “We’re not like guys, we don’t have a fight and get over it. I’m done as far as the squad, hell the school, are concerned.”
“You made a mistake, Chels. It’ll blow over.”
“I drugged the new girl, let your brother take the fall, and then went after one of our players. There’s no coming back from that, Luc. I should just be glad I don’t have a criminal record to go along with it.”
He blows out a long breath as we make our way to the other side of town and our usual diner for the best pancakes in Rosewood.
“You fucked up. We all do it. They’ll forgive you. They have to, that squad is nothing without you.”
“They seem to be coping fine.” I think of my butchered routines on Friday night. I mean, it wasn’t the kind of performance that’ll get them anywhere at regionals, but equally, it wasn’t terrible.
“You’ve got this, Chels. I have faith in you.”
“I’m glad someone does. Fancy coming to school with me tomorrow to hold my hand?” I ask with a laugh.
Luca pulls the car to a stop in the parking lot behind the diner and turns to me. His eyes are full of sympathy that I really don’t want to see. Sitting back, I stare at the brick wall ahead instead of his familiar green eyes.
“Chelsea, you don’t need anyone to hold your hand. You never have. Fierce isn’t just your last name, girl. It runs through your fucking veins. You need to pick yourself up and walk back into that school like you fucking own it. But you really don’t need me to tell you this, do you?”
For the first time since I can really remember, I think I do need to hear it.
Since I turned up in Rosewood after being dragged from my old life, I’ve made a point of showing everyone a certain side of me. And right now, I need to find that girl that Luca is talking about once again. It’s no good being this broken girl who’s been beaten down by her past and her mistakes. That won’t get me anywhere.
I’ve got to hold my head high. Even if it is easier said than done.
“Come on, let’s go eat our weight in pancakes.”
I follow into the diner and we take a seat in our usual booth. The waitress comes over immediately, but she doesn’t need to ask for our orders we’re here so much.
I thought that when Luca left for college that it would be the end of our mornings, but apparently, he enjoyed them as much as me because at least once a month I’ll wake on a weekend to find a message from him.
“The usual for both of you?”
“Please,” Luca answers for us.
“A-actually, could I get an orange juice instead?”
“Of course, sweetie.”
“Thank you.”
“What, no black coffee this morning to go with your black heart?” he asks lightly, repeating the joke I’ve made on many occasions.
“Nah. So how’s things been? I missed this.”
Luca smiles before recollecting his tales from college while I’ve been away and successfully distracting me from my own life. It’s the exact escape I need.
With stomachs full of pancakes and syrup, we make our way back toward our side of Rosewood and back to real life.
“You heading back to MKU this afternoon?”
“Yeah. Only a couple of weeks and I’ll be back for the holidays,” he says, clearly sensing where my thoughts are at. I need an ally in Rosewood right now, not all the way over in Maddison.
The thought of the holiday joy I’m going to have to spend the rest of the day faking with my mom doesn’t fill me with happiness, but I guess it’s better than the alternative being alone and miserable. I may as well have some company.
“Thank you for this mornin
g. I really needed it,” I say, leaning in to give him a hug.
“You’ve got this, Chels. You know where I am if you need me.”
“I really appreciate that, Luc. But you’ve got a life to live, you don’t need me cock blocking you.”
He looks me up and down, his eyebrow quirking. “You think you could stop me getting some. Now that I’d like to see.”
“On that note.” I jump down from his truck and wave him off when he disappears from my view.
With a sigh, I make my way inside to find Mom and discover what plans she has for us for the rest of the day.
10
Shane
The last thing I want to do when I get back from my excruciating time with Chelsea is to be forced to sit dissecting old NFL games like it would actually help me with my future progression. Luca and Leon don’t give a shit, they’ll happily watch games for hours with Dad and point out everyone’s mistakes.
Thankfully, the obvious effect Chelsea had on my body has long vanished by the time I fall down on the couch, but that doesn’t mean my muscles still aren’t pulled tight or that my balls aren’t blue as fuck.
That one night with Chelsea might be the only real experience I have, but fuck, I know enough to know exactly what I need right now.
I shift in my seat as images of that night threaten to reignite my earlier desire.
“You all good over there?” Leon asks, amusement curling at his lips. “You enjoying this a little too much, bro?” He nods to my crotch and to the TV.
My lack of female action is something that both my brothers like to rip me for. Just because I’m not like them with a different girl bouncing on my cock every night, it doesn’t mean I’m not interested. Both of them have sat me down before now to tell me it’s okay if I’m gay and that it shouldn’t stop my football career, like it should even need fucking saying. It’s twenty fucking twenty, it shouldn’t matter who I chose to love. They just don’t understand that I don’t get all that excited about testing out every available pussy while I have the chance.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 6