Harley swallows nervously and looks around at the girls. “B-but I thought Tasha was doing it.”
“Yeah well, Tasha keeps fucking it up.” Tasha huffs out her frustration, but this is one decision I can’t help but agree with Shelly on. Tasha is no flyer.
“Just get in position. You’re the best we’ve got and you know it.”
A few of the varsity girls turn their noses up at the decision, but I get where Shelly is coming from.
I stand watching them with a lump in my throat and my fists clenched so tightly that my nails dig into my palms.
My need to go marching in there and set them straight is all-consuming, but nothing good will come of it.
Watching Harley do what I should be doing, and doing it well, is the final straw. With tears once again filling my eyes, I turn and run.
Unfortunately, I barely get around the corner before I collide with a very hard and warm wall.
“Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“Chels?” Large hands wrap around my upper arms, but I have no intention of breaking down in front of anyone else today.
“No. Just no.” I spin out of Ethan’s grip and run for my car so I can fall apart in private.
I run past a few other members of the team, some of whom offer to cheer me up. My stomach turns over at the thought. The second I’m in my car, I put it in drive and speed home to the safety of my pool house.
The second I’m inside, I strip out of my shirt and skinny jeans and pull on some yoga pants and a sports bra. I shove my earbuds in and hit play on my usual workout playlist and I take off.
I don’t allow thoughts to enter my head about what today has been like. I just run. I focus on the pulling of my muscles, on the movement of my limbs, of the music in my ears. I keep it all bottled up until I hit the park that I usually run around before heading back.
Seeing as schools out, it’s full of happy, laughing kids and it’s the last thing I need to see after my short conversation about my past with Rae earlier.
I fall down onto a bench and watch as a couple of small children chase each other around as their mother watches with a smile on her face.
I never had this growing up. I never had this kind of freedom to just be a kid. To forget about the stresses of young life and to play like my life depended on it. Survival was my only focus as a young kid.
I wrap my arms around myself and fight to keep the tears that are threatening in my eyes.
Was I always destined to be a fuck-up? Is it laced through my genes from my birth mother, just like the poison of her drugs?
Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I drag my already sore body from the bench and force myself to run back home. I’ve had nowhere near the exercise I need, and I’m already suffering the consequences.
I have a shower the second I get back and intend on heading up to the house to find out what Mom’s cooked for dinner, only when I emerge from the shower voices filter down from the living area.
Dread fills my veins.
Who the hell would willingly turn up and wait for me?
I quickly pull on some clothes and reluctantly poke my head out of the bedroom.
“Here she is,” Ethan announces, making Rae look in my direction.
“Hey,” she says as if she belongs in my pool house.
“Hey… um… what are you…?”
“We figured that you’d kinda had a rough day, so we ordered pizza. Thought we’d come and entertain you.”
“Aren’t you lucky?” Rae adds with a wink.
“You’re just here to hang out?”
Ethan’s brows draw together in confusion. “Uh… yeah. Is that okay?”
A smile curls at my lips and just for a moment, all of the weight I’ve been carrying around lifts from my shoulders.
“Yeah, it’s really great. Thank you.”
“We brought beer too.”
I stare at it before shaking my head. “Nah, not on a school night.”
“What the hell did they do to you in that place?” Ethan jokes. I laugh along with him because I understand how different this is for me. But everything is different now. I’m different now.
After grabbing myself a soda, I fall onto the other couch just as the food arrives, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I have somewhat of a normal night hanging out with friends.
14
Shane
“You not going to go chasing after her this time?” Zayn asks, his arms resting on my shoulder as Chelsea flies past us and out of the building.
I tense at the question, and I have no doubt that he feels it.
“Shelly dragged her nails across her face, someone needed to make sure she was okay?”
“Did they though? Chelsea is more than capable of looking after herself.”
I agree, but that’s not the point, she shouldn’t have to.
“You coming to Aces?” Rich calls from in front of us.
“Sure thing,” Zayn shouts. “You’re coming, right?”
“Yep. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” As I say it, the image of Chelsea’s pool house pops into my head.
I know she skipped this afternoon. She was meant to be in both my classes. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous as I waited for her to walk through the door, only she never did.
I was disappointed, I wanted to see if she was okay after what happened in the bathroom and her fight with Shelly, but mostly I was worried.
She must have been dreading coming back here. No amount of time away was going to erase what happened before she left. No one has forgotten, even if some like Amalie and Mason are happy to let things lie and move on with their lives, the likes of Shelly certainly are not.
Cheer to Chelsea is like football to Jake and the other guys. It’s their life. It’s their purpose. It’s why they get out of bed every morning. But have that taken away and what’s left, other than the broken shell of a person who’s full of regrets.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter, scrubbing my hand over my rough jaw. I need to get her out of my fucking head.
“What’s wrong?” Zayn asks, dropping down into my passenger seat.
“Nothing,” I grunt.
After waiting a few seconds to see if any others are going to join us, I start to back out of the space.
“Nothing, yeah sure. That’s why you’re acting like a moody motherfucker. This morning I assumed it was the hangover, or the fact you allowed yourself to get up close and personal to a cheer slut, but it’s only gotten worse. So what gives, Shane?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I mutter under my breath.
“Well that really fucking sucks for you because I think you’re gonna have to.”
I blow out a breath. Even if I did want to talk about it, I have no idea where I’d start. Luckily—or unluckily, I’m not so sure—Zayn seems to know exactly where to kick off his questioning.
“Something happened with Chelsea, didn’t it?”
My grip on the steering wheel tightens, turning my knuckles white. I haven’t told anyone about that night. As far as I’m aware, only the two of us know about it.
“Yeah,” I admit.
“So what’s the big fucking deal? You’re just another notch on her… wait…” He holds his hand up in the space between us. Thankfully, I need to focus on the road, so I don’t have to see him connecting the dots. “You… you like her, don’t you?”
“No. No. No, I fucking hate her for what she did,” I argue, but even to my ears, it’s weak at best.
“So what are we talking here. She just suck you off, or did you get further?”
“Does it matter?” I ask, not really wanting to get into the details. Mostly because I have no idea if he’s already been there and has first-hand experience himself. The thought has heat racing through my veins that all the guys I spend time with have seen her like I have.
“Of course it matters. When and how many times?” I glance over to find a shit-eating grin on Zayn’s face. “What?�
� he asks.
“You’re acting like you didn’t get laid last night.”
“Who said I did?”
“Uh… the girl crying out your name in the next room most of the night.”
“The girl?” he asks, amusement filling his voice. “That wasn’t one, Dunn.”
“Fucking hell,” I mutter.
“Why have one when you can have two? Laurie and Ruby together. Whoa, man. I’m telling you that you haven’t lived until you’ve had one suc—”
“Okay,” I say, cutting off whatever he was about to describe. “Ruby is a junior, man. Not to mention your sister’s friend. Don’t you think you should lay off the young ones a little?”
“What? I didn’t stand a chance.”
“Whatever. You’re a dog.”
“At least I’m not hung up on one pussy.”
“I’m not… fuck.”
“Bro, the fact you’re even trying to deny it is highly amusing. So what’s the real issue here? You hate her, yet you want to fuck her again? I don’t see the issue, there’s nothing wrong with a good old hate fuck. They’re the hottest kind if you ask me.”
“Says the expert,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.
“Two in one night, bro. Two in one night,” he repeats as we climb from the car.
“Zayn,” I say, my voice suddenly taking on a serious tone. “Please don’t—”
“Your secret’s safe, man. You don’t even need to ask. But do us both a favor, yeah?”
“What?”
“Go and fucking bang her. Fuck this asshole mood out of your system.”
I can’t help but laugh as we make our way toward Aces. It’s either that or I spin on my heel and go and find exactly what he just suggested. The temptation to do just that is almost too high to ignore.
The squad turned up not long after us and filled the final spaces in the team’s usual booths. Just like since she disappeared, her absence is ever noticeable when we all hang out, and similarly, no one Except for me seems to care or even notice.
Although it shouldn’t, my heart aches for her that she’s been so easily forgotten by the people who were meant to be her friends.
Would Noah, Wyatt, Camila and now Zayn miss me as little if I were to suddenly up and leave? I’d like to think I’d had a little more impact on their lives and that they would notice my sudden disappearance. It makes me wonder what Chelsea’s life is really like if those who are meant to be her friends just don’t care.
Burgers and shakes are delivered to our table via Rae’s friend Cody. I eat and try to join in with the others, but my head’s not in it. I’m too busy wondering what she’s doing and if she’s sitting at home alone while all her so-called friends are out enjoying themselves as if she doesn’t even exist.
When my cell rings, it’s the perfect excuse to make my excuses and head home, although the second I pull it out and find my dad’s name staring back at me, I start to wonder if I should be so relieved or not.
“I need to go,” I say, turning to Zayn. “You okay getting back or do you want a ride?”
“I’m good. You go and get what you need.” He winks at me.
“What? No. My dad,” I say, waving my still ringing cell at him.
“Sure. Sure. I’m good. See you tomorrow.”
I nod at him and the rest of the team who are huddled around our table before heading out.
Deciding against calling him back, I put my car in drive and set off on the short distance home.
I don’t bother calling out for him, or even looking for him. I know exactly where he’ll be. He only ever calls me for one thing and that means he’ll be in his office talking ‘business’, aka my dreaded future.
“Ah there you are. I was calling you.”
“I know and here I am,” I mutter, falling down onto one of the giant leather couches in the center of the room.
“Right, well… I spent the afternoon on a call with the Steelers’ coach. He is very interested. I’ve sent him some extra footage of you in action. He’s going to look it over, but he thinks you might be a great fit for their team. Do you know how many players left his team last year and walked straight into the NFL?” Dad asks, his brows raised in excitement.
“I have no idea, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”
“What’s wrong? This team is one of my top picks for you. It could take you all the way.”
“All the way where? To your dream. I’m not interested, Dad.” Standing, I walk toward the door, already over his conversation.
“Shane, get back here.”
“No, we’re done.”
With my teeth grinding in frustration, I fly through the door, slamming it behind me and marching straight for the front door.
Anger swirls in my belly as I storm for my car. I’m so fucking fed up with having this same conversation. Why can’t he just hear me?
I don’t want the fucking NFL. I’m not good enough and I don’t have the desire. I love football, I do. But it’s not my future. Although I’ve got no idea what is.
I am not my dad. I am not my brothers. The NFL is their dreams and I’ll support them all the way, but it is not mine and I just wish he would listen to me.
I drive around town as the sun sets with nowhere to go. I could go to Wyatt’s and lose myself in a game, or I’m sure Zayn would welcome me in, his mom is never there to care what he does. But neither of those places hold any kind of appeal right now. I don’t want to hang out with friends. I just want to… forget. I want a few moments of quiet where everything in my head just stops.
I find myself pulling into Chelsea’s driveway.
I shouldn’t be here. I should just go home and lock myself in my room away from Dad and his unrealistic ideas, but I can’t get her out of my fucking head.
She’s the one who makes everything go away. And I need that. I need that more than anything right now.
The sun has almost totally set by the time I slip around the side of her house, her parents are in their living room watching the TV but thankfully don’t notice me.
As I approach the pool house, movement inside has me jumping into the bushes slightly.
I stand in the shadows, watching as both Ethan and Rae emerge. Chelsea smiles at them. It’s a real genuine smile that she doesn’t give out very often, and my own lips twitch slightly at the sight. That is until they disappear off around the edge of the pool and toward the driveway, thankfully the opposite way that I came. The second they’re out of sight, her face drops. Sadness washes through her as she closes the door behind them and walks back into her pool house. Her shoulders are down and her head lowered as she falls onto the couch.
Stepping from the shadows, I make my way over, keeping my eyes on her defeated form.
I come to a stop at the door and just watch her as she lifts her fingers to her cheek to wipe away a tear.
My fists clench with my need to storm inside and pull her to me. I might have wanted to see her suffer after what she did, but watching her fall apart is ripping me open.
As if she knows I’m here, her eyes lift.
Her lips part in shock and I can only imagine a squeal of shock leaves them as our eyes hold.
She stands, she makes no move to invite me in, but she doesn’t send me away either.
When another tear drops, she doesn’t wipe it away this time, and it’s my undoing.
Pulling the door open, I march inside and take her in my arms.
“Shane, what the hell are you doing?” she asks, her eyes wide as I wrap one arm around her waist and pull her into my body. Lifting my other hand, I wipe away the wet trail her tear left behind with my thumb.
“What I should have done earlier.”
Leaning forward, I press my lips to hers. I want to give her a chance to pull away, to tell me where to go, but the second we connect I lose all restraint.
Walking her backward, she bumps up against the counter. Her hands slide down my back before slipping inside my jersey.
; Dropping my hands to her thighs, I make quick work of lifting her onto the counter, her legs instantly part allowing me to stand between them.
“Shane,” she moans when I begin kissing across her jaw and down her neck. “Off,” she demands, pulling at the fabric around my body.
Releasing her for a beat, I drag it over my head and drop it to the floor beside us.
Her eyes land on my chest before she lifts them to meet mine. They’re dark, hungry, and it only spurs me on. My need to lose myself in her is too much to deny her. Being here right now with her hands on me and her legs locked around my waist, nothing else exists. There’s no bullshit outside of these four walls. We’re just two people who need to escape everything that’s going on in their lives that’s totally out of their control.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” I whisper, taking her cheeks in my hands. I don’t know why I say it, some fucked-up need to make sure she knows there’s nothing more here than what I’m about to give her.
“So are you planning on stopping?” She tilts her head to the side and bites down on her bottom lip.
“Fuck no.”
I’ve got her in my arms in a heartbeat and carrying her toward the back of the pool house where I’m hoping her bedroom is.
As I walk, her lips trail across my neck, only increasing my need for her.
The second I find her bed, I lower her down onto it and crawl over her body.
“Shane, what are—”
“No,” I say, placing my finger against her lips, cutting off any more words she might want to say to me. “No talking or I’ll leave. No bullshit, I just… I just need…” She raises her brows, waiting for me to finish. I swallow down my pride because I need this too much right now to do anything but tell the truth. “You, okay? I just need you.”
Her heels dig into my lower back and I fall on top of her, pressing her tiny frame into the mattress.
“Give me everything,” she moans when I release her lips once again.
Gathering up the fabric of her tank, I push it up her stomach, my lips kissing across the smooth skin as I do.
Once I’ve got it over her breasts, she takes over and rips it from her body.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 10