A smile curls at my lips as I think about the time I spent with Rae yesterday. Despite everything she’d heard about me in my absence, she genuinely seemed to want to spend time with me yesterday, genuinely seemed like she wanted to know the real me, not the bullshit Barbie doll persona I give everyone else. She saw the cracks, the dents and the broken parts of me that I keep locked inside, just like I did in her.
We’d be the most unlikely of friends, her with her goth look and me pining after my cheer uniform, but then I guess the connection that I’ve always craved runs deeper than our preferences and our style. Its strength comes from our fears, our nightmares, the things we keep hidden from the outside world.
As our teacher continues, I start to wonder how trustworthy she is. Could she be the one I confide in? Fuck knows I need to tell someone my secret.
The last thing I expected last night was Ethan and Rae to turn up to keep me company because they were concerned about me. Okay that’s a lie, the last thing I expected was what happened after that, but I need to not think about him right now. It’s bad enough that his stare is burning into the back of my head.
Ethan’s words resonated with me. He’s not usually one to be so wise, but I guess Rae must be having a good influence on him.
“You’re Chelsea fucking Fierce. When have you ever sat back and allowed shit to happen around you? You want your old life back? Get out there and fucking take it.”
He had a point. The only issue is that I’m not sure I’m that same person anymore.
My time away certainly gave me the opportunity to reflect. It gave me much more than that, and it changed my life in ways I’m not sure the counselors could even imagine.
I want my old life back. Well… I want my squad back. Everything else. The fake friendships, the bending over backward to keep my position at the top of the school and the bullshit that came with that, not so much.
I just want my team. My future. The rest is so up in the air right now.
I’m still lost in my thoughts when the bell rings. I make quick work of packing everything up and trying to get out of the room as soon as possible. I might be keen to make amends for all my wrongdoings, but I don’t want to have it out with Jake in the middle of a classroom with an audience.
“Get out of my way,” a familiar voice barks from behind me as I take a step from behind my desk. My shoulder gets banged and when I look up, I find one of my previously loyal cheerleaders pushing me out of the way so she can get past.
I want to say something, but I bite my tongue. Making a scene isn’t going to help anyone right now.
I eventually manage to make it out of the room before Shane and Jake even get up from their desks, clearly neither of them have any desire to talk to me. Right now, that is fine by me. I just want to get through the day without any more scratches or bruises.
My next class is just a repeat of the previous one. Constant stares and gossip. I’m actually starting to get used to it in a weird way. The old me would have loved all the attention, it’s a shame that the new me mostly just wants to hide in the closet until they’re all bored with me.
I’m surrounded by students and heading toward the cafeteria for lunch when the chatter around me suddenly drops out. The second I look up, I know why. Shelly and her bitches are walking this way, and every set of eyes is drilling into me.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I take a step to go down the stairs to escape them. I’m hungry and I really don’t have the patience for their bullshit right now.
“You’re supposed to be staying out of my way,” Shelly spits, coming to a stop in front of me and placing her hands on her hips.
The hallway around us falls almost deadly silent as they wait for a repeat of yesterday’s fight. I had no intention of partaking in that one, I really don’t want to be standing here now.
“I’m not in your way. I’m just going for lunch.”
“You’re not welcome.”
“I’m not welcome in the cafeteria? Fuck off, Shelly, no one made you God.”
She takes a step forward, a scowl on her face.
“Careful, those lines will set and you’ll need to beg daddy for some more Botox.” She gasps, as do the rest of the squad, although I have no idea why, it’s no secret that Shelly’s looks aren’t all natural.
“You bitch,” she squeals, raising her hand, much like she did yesterday, and I move to avoid her. I forget that I’m standing at the top of the stairwell. That is until I place my foot down and there is no floor for it to land on.
“Fuck,” I squeal a beat before I begin to fall.
My arm releases the books I was holding to my chest like a shield from Shelly, but I don’t manage to find anything to stop myself.
The last thing I hear is a collective gasp as my back hit the wall before I was tumbling down the stairs.
I vaguely remember hitting people’s legs, but I’d pick up so much speed that none of the hands that reach for me successfully stop me.
16
Chelsea
The pounding of my head is the first thing I feel when I come back to myself.
I wiggle my toes and then my fingers and breathe a sigh of relief. At least they still work.
“Chelsea?” a soft female voice says from beside me but I can’t register who it belongs too.
A warm hand slips into mine and squeezes.
“Everything’s okay. You’re in the hospital.”
“Should we get a doctor?”
I know that voice. The English accent is a dead giveaway.
“Amalie?” My voice is a rough whisper, but the shock is clear.
Dragging my eyes open, I have to blink a few times to make my vision clear, but when they do, there she is sitting at my bedside.
“What are you…”
“Doing here? I’ve been asking myself the same question to be honest.”
“I’m…” I swallow and lick my lips. “I’m sorry.”
She nods but I’m positive it’s not to accept my apology more so just to prove she heard it.
“Here, have a drink.” I turn to the sound of the other voice and find Rae.
A smile pulls at my lips despite the blinding pain in my head.
“T-thank you,” I say once I’ve had a sip of the water. “W-what happened?”
“Shelly pushed you down the stairs.”
I allow her words to run around my head for a second or two as I try to drag up my hazy memory of what happened today.
“N-no she did—fuck,” I shout.
“What? What’s wrong?” Rae is up off her chair, her eyes wide as she looks me over.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chant, trying to push myself up to a sitting position. “What’s wrong with me? What have the doctors said?” I ask in a rush.
“Nothing much, just that you had quite the hit to the head. Why, does something hurt?”
“No… um… I’m… fuck.” I drop my head into my hands as both of them come in closer, intrigued by my freak out I’d imagine. “I’m pregnant,” I mumble into my hands.
“What?” Amalie screeches in total disbelief.
“I need the doctor. I need to know. Fuck.” I press my hand to my stomach, praying that Shelly hasn’t just ruined the one good thing in my life. The one good thing to come out of all of this.
“Okay, yes. I’ll go find her.” Rae pulls the curtain back and runs from the room.
Amalie’s attention stays on me. “You’re not joking… are you?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not. If I’ve lo—fuck. I can’t. Fuck.” My voice cracks and my chin trembles at the thought of losing this as well as everything else in my life.
To my utter disbelief, Amalie wraps her arm around my shoulder and holds me to her.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
I want to agree, but all I feel right now is dread. I haven’t even had the chance to fully accept my reality and it might already be over. No. No, it can’t be. I need this. I need everything to be okay.<
br />
By the time Rae reappears with a kind looking doctor trailing behind her, I’ve got tears running down my cheeks faster than I can control.
“Good afternoon, Chelsea. I’m Dr. Francis. Your friend here tells me that you think you might be pregnant.”
“There’s no might. I am.”
“Okay, we’ve done blood work but it hasn’t come back from the lab yet. How far along do you think you are?”
“About eleven weeks.”
I might not be looking at either Rae or Amalie, but I don’t miss their chins dropping in shock.
“Okay. Have you had an ultrasound?”
I shake my head. I visited a doctor at the center who had set the ball rolling but I don’t have a date or anything although I know it must be soon.
“Okay.” She reaches for my hand and squeezes in support. “Do you have any abdominal pain, any reason to believe something may not be right?”
I focus on my body for a moment, but other than my head and a few aches and pains, nothing seems wrong.
“N-no, I don’t think so.”
“Right, let me go and make a call or two and I’ll see what I can do to get an ultrasound machine brought in.”
With a soft smile and a glance at my shocked audience, she disappears back through the curtain.
“You’re pregnant?”
Rae asks as if she needs to hear me say it again just to believe it.
“Yeah, but no one knows. I haven’t even told my parents. You’re the only ones.”
“Jesus, Chelsea. You really know how to bring the drama don’t you?”
“It wasn’t meant to happen.”
“For the love of God, please tell me that it’s not Jake’s.” I’m not sure if she’s asking that as a joke or not, but as I look at Amalie, I see a flicker of fear in her eyes.
“Of course it’s not. That boy hasn’t looked at me twice since you turned up.”
“G-good. That’s good.” She lowers herself back to the chair, deep in thought.
“So whose is it?” Rae asks.
I shake my head. “Now’s really not the time. Plus, I have a feeling he’s not going to want anything to do with it.”
“You haven’t told him?”
“Not yet.”
I was intending on telling my parents when I first got back from the center. But they were so happy to have me home and hopefully in a more positive place that I didn’t have it in me to confess.
I know they’re going to be disappointed in me. I see the way they look at me when I’ve been out partying. They’re not stupid, they know the things we all get up to, and I’ve always promised Mom that I’d be sensible. I had a future, a cheer career to think of. Having this kind of accident certainly wasn’t part of my plan.
“I-I know that I have no right to ask anything of you,” I say directly to Amalie. “But I’d really appreciate it if you kept this to yourself.”
She blows out a breath. Her eyes leaving mine for a beat. “You’re right. I don’t owe you anything. I should go straight back to Rosewood and shout through the PA system.” Every muscle in my body locks up at the thought. “But I won’t. That’s not the kind of person I am.”
“Okay,” the doctor sings, reappearing with a machine and another woman who I unfortunately recognize behind her. “Let’s see what’s going on then, shall we? This is—”
“We already know each other,” the other lady says, and I just about manage to stifle a groan. “Nice to see you, Chelsea.”
“You too,” I say tightly, staring at the older version of the person who put me in this place. Shelly might not have actually pushed me, but she was the catalyst for this whole disaster.
Of all the people, the woman who turns up to do my first ultrasound has to be Shelly’s mom. I have no fucking chance of keeping this secret now.
The doctor pulls the sheet from me and I discover that I’m still in my skirt and top that I put on this morning.
“If you could lift your top and lower your waistband a little. I’ll get this all set up.”
“Would you like some privacy?” Dr. Francis asks, nodding to Rae and Amalie.
“N-no. They can stay if they like.”
Smiling, Rae moves closer to my side and takes my hand in hers. Amalie remains standing somewhat awkwardly at the end of the bed.
“I’m going to squeeze some gel on your tummy and we’ll have a little look.”
The gel is warmer than I’m expecting, and in only seconds a plastic wand thing is being pressed against my skin.
Shelly’s mom tilts her head this way and that as she stares at the screen I can’t see while tapping away at a few buttons.
My heart pounds in my chest and my hands begin to sweat, not knowing which way this is going to go.
“Right, Chelsea.” She turns the screen to me and a fuzzy black and white image flickers on the screen. “Everything looks good. Can you see that there?” She points at a little blob in the middle of the screen. “That’s your baby.”
A sob erupts from my throat. “It’s okay?”
“Yes, everything looks good. All the measurements line up with your eleven-week prediction. Congratulations, I guess.”
“Oh my god.” Tears pool in my eyes as I stare at my baby. My baby.
It’s surreal.
I knew this day was coming. I knew I’d get to see it, but it’s utterly mind-blowing.
“I can’t believe you’re growing a person,” Rae mutters, equally as mesmerized by the screen.
“Trust me. I know.”
“Would you like a printout?”
“Yes, please.”
Sadly, Shelly’s mom removes the wand from my stomach and the image of my baby disappears from the screen. I miss it almost immediately. It’s the weirdest feeling that has me on the verge of a breakdown.
The doctor hands me some tissue to wipe my belly and before long I’m being handed a strip of paper with a range of images of my baby on it.
“Are we all okay here?” Shelly’s mom asks before wheeling the machine out and leaving us to it. I don’t see her go, I’m too fascinated by the images before me to even consider warning her about not saying anything.
“Your parents are in the waiting room. They’re getting a little frantic,” Dr. Francis says with a wince.
“We’ll go and leave you to talk to your parents,” Rae says.
“Uh… okay.”
Fear fills my veins at the thought of admitting all of this to them. They’re going to be so disappointed in me.
Just before Amalie and Rae pull the curtain back to leave, I call out.
“Amalie?”
She looks back over her shoulder at me, but she doesn’t say anything.
“I really am sorry.”
She nods, her eyes softening as she accepts it before they both continue through the curtain.
I’m alone, left alone with my own thoughts for all of three minutes. The entire time I have the ultrasound images grasped tightly in my hand.
Everything is okay. She didn’t ruin the only bit of positive in my life.
“Chelsea, thank god you are okay. Principal Hartmann said you’d been pushed down the stairs, what on earth…” Mom comes rushing over and carefully pulls me in for a hug.
“I’m okay. And she didn’t actually push me. I thought she was going to.” I gesture to my face that she has yet to notice, seeing as I hid in the pool house from the second I got in from school last night.
“Jesus, Chelsea. Shelly did that?”
“I had it coming. I thought she was going to do it again, I stepped back and, well… here I am.” I shrug, playing it down. Yes, my head throbs, but I’m okay. We’re okay.
“You might want to sit down though. I’ve got something I need to tell you both.”
Mom pulls back and looks at me suspiciously.
“I’m okay, I promise. It’s just that…” I trail off until they’re both in the chairs beside my bed. “I’m pregnant.”
If I we
ren’t so terrified by their reaction then the cartoon wide eyes and dropped chins might be amusing but as it is the sight only tightens the knot of dread sitting heavy in my stomach.
“Y-you’re pregnant. Like… having a baby pregnant?” Mom asks in total disbelief.
“Yes. I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner, but I was scared.”
“You’re having a baby now?”
“What? No, no. Not yet. Here.” I reluctantly release my ultrasound pictures and allow her to look at them.
“Oh my god,” she gasps, her own eyes getting a little wet.
“How far along?”
“Eleven weeks.”
They’re both silent as they stare at the images, and I sit nervously for the anger to come once the shock has worn off.
“How long have you known?”
“Quite a while.”
“And you’ve kept it secret all this time? Even in the center?”
“Well, I saw a doctor, but yeah.”
“Oh, Chelsea,” Mom says, standing back up and pulling me into a hug. She sobs on my shoulder and although I hate that I’ve made her cry, I’m just glad neither of them are shouting at me. “You should have told us.”
I look between the two of them, not missing that Dad is yet to say anything about this. “I was—I am—terrified.”
“Oh, sweetie. You don’t need to be scared of us. You know we’ll support you no matter what.” Mom runs her hand gently over my hair and a lump forms in my throat.
“I-I really want this baby, Mom. I want…” I blow out a breath, trying not to break down. “I want something of my own, you know. I didn’t plan it. I was too focused on my future to even consider it. But now it’s happened… I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I know, baby. I know.” Mom holds me tighter as she cries.
She had a baby when she was not that much older than I am now. I remember the day she told me about it, the joy as she talked about discovering that she was pregnant was clear in her eyes all these years later. Despite her parents’ opinion about things, she was excited about what her future held but sadly, it wasn’t meant to be and the baby was born with a genetic disorder and died before he was six months old. She’s never been able to conceive again.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 12