“Chels?” He follows my line of sight. “You think they’ll get off watching the show?”
My eyes widen at his words. I thought I knew the kind of guy that Shane was. It seems I was very wrong. He might not be a dog like the majority of his teammates, but fuck. His confidence is hot.
“Shane?” I repeat, my head spinning with lust, unable to think straight.
Do I want him to eat me right here for everyone to see how he owns me? Fuck yes.
Doing as I’m told, I rest back on my elbows. Placing my heels on the edge of the pool, I watch as his pupils dilate as he stares at me.
“I thought you said no games,” I quip. “This definitely feels like you’re playing me right now.”
My words eventually cut through his daze and his eyes come back to mine.
“I don’t mind these games so much.”
Without wasting another second, he dives for me.
I fall back down, my back arching against the hard tiles beneath me, my shoulder blades smarting with pain as I writhe, but I couldn’t give a fuck. Shane licks, sucks, and drives me fucking crazy with his fingers teasing my entrance.
Any thoughts of nosy neighbors evaporate from my mind as I focus on what he’s doing to my body.
“Shane, Shane, Shane,” I cry in pleasure as he pushes me over the edge. My fingers find his hair and I hold him in place until I’ve ridden out the final seconds of my orgasm. “Fucking hell,” I pant when I eventually let up my hold and he moves away from me.
I’m still laying out on the tiles a sated mess when he jumps from the pool and stands over me. Water drips from his body, splashing over my now mostly dry one.
“Come on,” he says, holding his hand out for me. “I think we’ve given your neighbors enough of a treat for the day. I’ll save fucking you over the table for another time.”
Despite the fact he’s only just made me come, my thighs clench as the image of him thrusting into me from behind fills my mind.
Shaking the thoughts away before I tell him that it’s exactly what happens next, I lift my hand up and allow him to pull me to my feet.
“Shower?” I ask, standing so close that my breasts brush against his chest.
“Sounds perfect. You do look really dirty.”
I tilt my head to the side and look up at him through my lashes.
“What?” he asks.
“Where did the sweet, shy guy go?”
He chuckles. “You just weren’t looking in the right places, baby.”
“So it seems,” I mutter as he pulls me along behind him toward my pool house.
“Just because I don’t always act like them,” he says, and I assume he means his teammates. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t want the same things.”
“Me on my knees?”
The muscles in his shoulders tense as he continues dragging me through the living room and then the bedroom. He doesn’t stop until we’re in the walk-in shower, and then he spins me and backs me up against the wall. He takes my chin in his fingers and lowers his face so his nose is almost brushing mine. His eyes are hard, much like they were last night and nothing like the easy-going, fun-loving guy I’ve spent the last few hours with.
“Don’t. Don’t ever compare me to them like that. I don’t want you for a cheap ride. And I’d really prefer not having the constant reminder that they did.”
“Shane, that’s not—”
“You’re mine, but they all had you first. It makes me want to kill every last one of them.”
I take his clenched fists in my hands and lift them to my lips.
I hold his eyes, hoping that he can read the truth in them. “Most of them are lying, Shane,” I whisper.
His jaw pops and his eyes remain angry and hard.
“Shane,” I repeat, knowing that he didn’t hear a word I just said. I wrap my hand around his neck and brush my thumb along the line of his jaw. “I haven’t touched most of them. They’re bragging to make themselves look like a big man. I promise you, it’s nowhere near as bad as it seems.”
He blinks a few times, but he doesn’t relax, and I worry for a second that my stupid comment has ruined this and that he’s about to realize his mistake and walk away.
I might have forced him to do so in the past, but now I’ve somewhat allowed myself to believe that there could be something between us, it would kill me to watch him turn his back on me, on this.
“I hope to fuck that you are right.” I don’t get a chance to respond because as he says it, he reaches out and turns the shower on. We’re both blasted with ice cold water for a few seconds before it begins to warm up.
I open my mouth to say more, although I’m not sure what exactly, but I don’t get the chance because the second my lips part, his tongue sweeps inside.
23
Shane
Just the thought of what she might have done with the guys I’m forced to spend time with has anger racing through my veins.
She can tell me that it’s bullshit on their part all she likes. Hell, I believe her. I know what braggers and bullshitters they are, I experience it daily. But still, it doesn’t do much to get the images I don’t need out of my head.
I want her to be mine and mine alone. I hate that others have experienced this. Her.
“Stop overthinking,” she warns, her soap covered hands rubbing across my abs and getting dangerously close to where I really need them. “Stop worrying about what’s already been done. We can’t change the past, Shane. I know that better than anyone.”
She looks up at me, her dark eyes open and honest in a way I’m not sure I’ve seen before.
“Why did you do it, Chels? Why hurt everyone?”
“It was stupid,” she says, bowing her head, too ashamed of her actions to hold my eyes.
“Explain it to me. Please. Help me understand.”
She blows out a breath as she considers her words.
“You know my past, Shane. It was… bad. I was a nuisance, this unwanted, unloved small person who only got in the way. I had no use, well not until I grew up a little, not that that stopped some of the guys leering…” A shudder runs down her spine as she remembers.
Wrapping my arms around her, I gather her close in the hope it helps her to feel the opposite of those things she just described.
“I’ve just always wanted to be wanted,” she says so quietly that I almost think I imagined it. “I know I had Honey and Derek, but they didn’t choose me, not really. They had no choice but to take me in when I first turned up on their doorstep.
“I’ve watched everyone for years, finding their best friend. That person they can have a conversation with without even saying words. I’ve watched those around me fall in love. And I’ve always just felt alone.
“I was jealous. I won’t lie, I thought Jake was it for me. Two broken souls who could fix each other or some bullshit. Then Amalie turned up and shattered anything I believed. He wanted her, you wanted her.
“Then Mason and Camila sorted their shit out, and one by one I was watching everyone find what I wanted so fucking badly.
“I lashed out. I was jealous and drowning in other’s happiness. I’ve got no real excuse because it was a fucking stupid thing to do. It was misguided, immature, unnecessary, selfish, the list goes on.
“I’ll never forgive myself for it. To this day I’m not sure what I was trying to achieve other than to stop everyone being so happy and moving on with their lives while I seemed to be forever stuck in misery. I was so fucking lonely, Shane. So fed up with everything. Of pretending, of trying to be the person everyone had to like. All of it was fucking bullshit.”
We’re both silent for a beat before she speaks again.
“I never set out to hurt you or to make it look like it was you. But once everyone assumed, I couldn’t exactly scream it from the rooftops that it was me. Well, I guess I could have but…” she sighs. “I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. Somehow, I intend on making it up to the others too. I don’t know how; I
just hope I’ll figure something out.”
“I’m pretty sure you just need to say the words, Chels.”
Taking her cheek in my hand, I move her head so she has no choice but to look at me. Her eyes are full of tears, but I have no idea if any have fallen with the water pouring down over both of us.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “There are so many things I’d do differently if I could go back.”
“You can’t. You’ve got to accept it for what it was and move on. We all have.”
She nods sadly.
Silence falls between us once again as her words from moments ago run around in my head.
“What about the squad?” I ask.
“What about them?” Her brow creases in confusion.
“I thought they were your friends.”
“Like the team are your friends?”
“But—”
“My squad are my squad,” she says, cutting me off. “I decided a long time ago that cheer was going to be my life. I love it. I live it. Becoming captain was never a question for me. It’s in my blood.
“Those girls, they don’t hang around with me because they like me, because we’re friends, they do it because they have to. I’m their leader, the reason they’re on that squad, the reason they have the position in the school they do.
“They’re not my friends,” she repeats. “Just look how quickly they turned their backs on me when I fucked up. Real friends don’t do that. They should be there no matter how bad you screw everything up, even if they’re angry. L-like you,” she whispers.
“The only people I’ve ever had any kind of real friendship with is Luca and Ethan. They both see beneath the act, they see me, not just the cheer bitch everyone else gets.”
“So you and Ethan, you’ve never…”
Her lips curl in disgust before she chuckles. “Never. He’s kinda like my brother. Luca too.”
“And me?” I ask, running my thumb along her bottom lip and stepping closer.
“Are not like my brother,” she says with a smirk.
“Thank fuck for that,” I mutter with a laugh.
Tension crackles between us but no words are said as we continue to stare at each other.
Chelsea’s lips part, but she doesn’t say anything for the longest time.
“I-I think you might have been what I was searching for all along.” Her eyes widen the second she realizes she said it aloud.
“Is that right?” I close in on her, pushing her up against the cold tiled wall.
“I’m not sure, you might need to show me again.”
I have no idea what time it is when we emerge from her bathroom, but I do know that I’m hungry, and for actual food this time.
“Where are you going?” Chelsea asks in shock when I walk toward the door to her pool house naked.
“Well, I wasn’t going to walk home like this if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Good. You’re not the only one who gets to claim ownership, you know.” Her eyes run down my body, staking her claim.
“All yours, baby.”
I’m only gone seconds as I grab my abandoned clothes but when I get back, what I find is almost as good as her still being naked.
She’s standing at her refrigerator wearing the jersey I left behind the night she sent me away.
“I sure hope there’s nothing underneath that.”
“You’ll have to find out for yourself,” she says, turning to me with two sodas in hand. “What do you want to eat?”
“Whatever. I’m easy.”
“You sure are.” She winks.
“Being corrupted by the chief cheer slut. I must say, it has its benefits.” A brief flash of hurt flickers in her eyes and I feel awful for joking about it. I step up to her and take her hand in mine. “Hey, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay. Chinese?” she asks, grabbing her cell and opening it up to change the subject.
“Sure. Sounds perfect.”
We spend a few minutes debating dishes before she places the order and we fall down onto her couch.
She turns the TV on and opens Netflix.
“Any preference?”
“Nope, whatever you want.”
Her recommended programs open up and I can’t help but laugh.
“What?”
“You’re such a girl.” I take in the cheer series that she’s halfway through and all the chick flicks and romance that fills the screen.
“Yeah, and?”
“I was kinda expecting it to be full of phycological thrillers and murder documentaries.”
“Fucking hell, Shane. I’m not a total psychopath. I do have a… softer side.”
“I know, I know. I’m only joking. And I happen to like getting beneath your hard outer shell.”
“Oh yeah?”
I wrap my arm around her shoulder once she’s chosen some series to watch that I’ve never even heard of and tucks herself into my side.
It’s really fucking comfortable.
“I believe you, you know,” I say after a few quiet moments as the theme tune to the program plays out. “If you say it’s not as it seems then, I believe you. Those guys can be real assholes.”
“They can. Which leads me to my burning question,” she says, looking up at me. “Why are you suddenly hanging out with them? You used to stay as far away from the team as possible but since I’ve come back, you seem to always be with them.”
“Hmm… it wasn’t by choice, I figured that I might be able to find the information I needed from one of them.”
“Information? What could you possibly need from them?”
“I thought they might have known where you went.”
Her chin drops. “Y-you were looking for me?”
“You just disappeared. I was still desperate for a repeat of that night and then everything blew up and you were gone. I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to shout at you for what you did, I wanted to hurt you for allowing me to take the fall, but mostly, I just wanted you. I wanted to know you were okay, that you were safe.
“Mom refused to tell me where you’d gone despite the fact I knew she knew. I had no idea if you’d run or what.”
“I was sent,” she admits. “I’d already fucked up one too many times and when I got home that night and confessed to my parents they got straight on the phone and booked me a place at the center. They’d threatened time and time again but I didn’t think they’d do it. It had been years since I’d been there, I was more than happy to never return. But looking back now, I think it was the best thing they could have done. I needed that time. I needed the space to figure out who I was and what I really wanted.”
“What did you do there? What’s it like?”
“It’s basically a group home but they have teachers and counselors on site to work with all the kids. It’s one of the better places to end up when you’ve got no home, that’s for sure.
“I did schoolwork every morning, therapy sessions and exercise in the afternoons. It was regimented and structured, everything I needed to sort my head out.”
“Did you speak to anyone from home?” I ask, thinking about how lonely that sounds.
“My parents called regularly, and Ethan messaged a couple of times. I needed the space.”
I pull her tighter into my body. “I’m glad it helped. But I’m even more glad you’re back.”
“It gave me perspective. Helped me figure out what I want.”
“And what do you want?”
She lets out a sigh and is silent for so long that I’m not sure if she’s going to answer me. “I want to focus on my future. I want to forge meaningful relationships and if that means I distance myself from the squad and the team, then so be it. I’m done making myself miserable trying to be what others expect of me.”
“But what about college? If you give up on the squad then…” I trail off, she doesn’t need me to spell it out for her.
“What will be will be.�
�
Her cell buzzes on the coffee table, telling us that dinner has arrived.
She jumps up and heads for the door.
“You can’t go like that,” I say, hopping up behind her.
“Then you can answer the door. Come on.”
We make our way through her house. She stands to the side a little as I pull the door open to take our food.
I’m just about to close it behind the guy when her fingers wrap around the wood and she peers outside.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, looking out in the same direction as her.
“Do you recognize that truck?” she asks, pointing to a black truck idling at the end of her driveway.
“No, why?”
She waves me off and closes the door when I try to see who’s in the driver’s seat.
“I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ve just seen it a few times. Probably waiting for a neighbor or something.”
Taking the food back out to her pool house, we put all the containers out on the coffee table and sit on the floor to eat.
We have the most incredibly relaxed night, eating, chatting and watching her girly TV. We both steer away from the hard conversations that we’d brushed on previously. Chelsea had a point when she talked about leaving the past where it was. It was time for fresh starts for both of us.
The sun has barely set when I look down to find Chelsea asleep. As smoothly as I can, I slip out from under her and sweep her into my arms. I carry her through to the bedroom and peel back the sheet before dropping her down and crawling in behind her.
She sighs and snuggles her ass back into my crotch as she gets settled.
I lay there for the longest time with her in my arms, thinking about all the things she told me today and trying to imagine what her previous life was really like. Eventually, I find myself drifting off with her and I swear to God, I have the best night’s sleep of my life.
24
Chelsea
The second I wake, a smile breaks across my lips.
Sighing in contentment, I tighten my hold around Shane’s waist and snuggle closer.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 19