Casey was still studying the drawing, his eyes narrowed. “That’s Copper Mountain in the background, right? Part of it, anyway.”
“That’s right. I want the mountain to link the three images, so the middle one will feature the peak, the final one the eastern slope.”
“Really clever,” he said, and there was admiration in his eyes as he looked at her. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t had much experience with street art, but this is stunning.”
She could feel her face growing warm from his praise. “Well, thanks. I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.”
She felt really hot now, and she suspected her face was red. Trying to cover, she closed the sketchpad.
“Just another two to go, then I’m done,” she said brightly.
“Why are you embarrassed?” Casey asked.
So much for covering.
“I’m not. I’m just… I don’t know. It’s hard not to feel self-conscious when people say good things about your work.”
“But you know how good you are, right?”
She stared at him, confronted by the question. She remembered the way she’d almost cried in front of Andie McGregor when the other woman praised the quality of her original pitch. Was her sense of her own worth and talent really so fragile that she could be so affected by a few simple words of approval?
It seemed counter-intuitive, given the lengths she’d gone to to throw her hat in the ring for this commission. She’d driven across four states to advocate for herself, practically insisted that they interview her…and yet, deep inside, there was a part of her that was afraid she wasn’t up to the challenge she’d set herself.
“I used to think I was pretty hot shit,” she said slowly, thinking it through. She gave him a wry, self-effacing smile. “When I was younger and I was going to set the world on fire with my blazing, undeniable talent. Then I met Dane, and I got sucked into his career, and over the years of doing everything I could to be there for him, channeling all my ideas and energy into his work, I lost a sense of who I am as an artist, what’s important to me. I guess I’m trying to rediscover that now, but everything still feels a bit shaky. I keep second-guessing myself, interrogating my choices, asking if I’m doing something because I want to do it, or because it’s what I’ve always done when I worked with him, or because it’s the opposite of that…” She shook her head. “There’s a lot of traffic in my head right now.”
Casey studied her face, his expression serious. Then he reached out to brush his thumb along her cheek. “You got this. There’s not a doubt in my mind. And the proof of that is right here.”
He tapped the sketchpad with two fingers.
“I can feel you in this picture. The emotion in her eyes…that comes from you. That’s what people are going to respond to.”
She captured his hand, hugely touched by his words. It was a little scary how good it felt to have someone so unequivocally on her side. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for speaking the truth.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand.” She considered their joined hands for a moment. “For years, I lived off scraps of approval, and told myself it was okay. I put my own ideas and ambitions in deep freeze, and supported someone else because I believed in him. And I never got anything back. It was always a one-way street. So having someone be on my side…that feels pretty revolutionary to me right now.”
Her throat was tight, and she had to swallow before she could say anything more.
“Here,” Casey said, pulling her close. Her head came to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped her in his arms. She blinked rapidly, trying to get a grip on her runaway emotions.
“I don’t want to give that jerk any more time or energy, because he’s already taken so much from you. But he’s not holding you back anymore, baby. The sky’s the limit.”
It was the exact right thing to say, and Eva turned her face into his chest and squeezed him tight, breathing in the good, clean smell of him. When she was confident she wasn’t going to blubber all over him, she lifted her head.
They stared at each for a long beat, and Eva could see her own feelings echoed in his beautiful green eyes.
“This was supposed to be just fun,” she said, because one of them needed to name the elephant in the room.
“I know.”
“If I don’t get this commission, I have to go back to LA this week.”
“I know that, too. Your life is there, mine is here. I get it. But none of that stops me from thinking about you all the time, or wanting to be with you.”
Her chest tightened with emotion. “I can’t stop thinking about you, either,” she admitted.
“Good,” he said, then he kissed her, and Eva let herself fall into him, into the magic of being with him, and let everything else drift away.
All her worries, all her doubts, all the pressures and uncertainties would still be there tomorrow. Right now, in Casey’s arms, she had everything she needed.
Chapter Eleven
Two days later, Casey scrubbed his face and pushed the laptop away from him on the kitchen table.
He’d just spent three hours poring over their bookkeeping software, juggling expenses as much as he could, but there was only so much he could rob from Peter to pay Paul. Until they sold some stock, things were going to be tight. And since they didn’t plan to go to market until later in the year, something had to give.
He needed to talk to his siblings. When Jed had come clean about the trouble the ranch was facing last September, they’d learned he’d been forgoing wages for himself in order to ensure the ranch remained viable. They’d all agreed that that kind of shit was not going to happen again, and they’d all tipped their personal savings into the pot to help ease the situation. Two bad seasons and a run of shitty luck meant that it had barely touched the sides of their problems, though. And now Casey had more bad news to deliver.
Delaying the inevitable wasn’t going to make it any easier, so he stood and went in search of his sister. He found her behind the house in the veggie patch their mother had established twenty years ago, pulling weeds and straightening stakes.
“Sierra. You got a minute?” he asked.
She shaded her eyes with a gloved hand. “A real minute or is that just a clever ruse to lure me inside?”
“Definitely the second option,” he said, and she must have heard the heaviness in his voice because she stood and brushed the dirt off her knees.
She followed him inside and was at his side when he knocked briefly on the study door and pushed it open. They both paused on the threshold at the sight of Jed fumbling hastily with the mouse, quickly closing down a window on the computer screen. Casey only caught a glimpse, but it was enough to tell him what his brother had been doing: Facebook stalking his former girlfriend, Mae Berringer.
Mae had been Jed’s girlfriend in senior year at Marietta High, and they’d shared an apartment together for two years when they both went to college at Montana State. Then life as the Carmodys knew it had imploded when their parents died, and everything had gone to hell. Jed had dropped out of college to come home and take over the ranch and look after the rest of them, and Mae had been left behind.
Or something like that. Casey had never really been clear on just what had happened between his brother and the woman he loved, he simply knew that Jed hadn’t really looked twice at another woman since.
There was a small silence before Jed cleared his throat.
“What’s up?”
“Why don’t you just call her?” Sierra asked, bull at the gate as always.
“What are you talking about?” Jed asked, his cheeks turning a giveaway pink.
“She’s talking about Mae. If you’re still hung up on her, why don’t you just message her?” Casey said.
Generally, his policy was live and let live when it came to his siblings’ personal lives, but it was so obvious that his brother was stuck on Mae, someone needed to say somet
hing.
“We’re not having this conversation,” Jed said, his tone clipped.
“What would it hurt? If you’ve got unfinished business, maybe it would help you move on if you saw her again. And who knows, maybe she’s still single, like you. It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” Sierra said.
“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Jed said.
“Sierra’s right. You should call her. Get it out of your system,” Casey said.
Sierra nodded enthusiastically. “Or not. Maybe you’re still in her system, and you two can pick things—”
“She’s engaged to some guy in Helena,” Jed blurted, and Casey could see it hurt his brother just to say it out loud.
“Shit. I didn’t realize. Sorry,” Casey said, feeling like an asshole.
Mind, it had been thirteen years, so it was only natural Mae had moved on. The bigger surprise was probably that she wasn’t married with kids already.
“They announced it last week,” Jed said heavily. “I was just checking to see if they’ve set a date.”
Casey remembered the night Jed had uncharacteristically encouraged him to ask Eva out. What were the odds that was the day he’d heard Mae’s news?
“Have they?” Sierra asked.
“Not yet.”
Jed looked so gutted, Casey didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe you should still talk to her. For closure,” he suggested tentatively.
“You a relationship expert now, are you?” Jed snapped, his face hardening, and Casey was smart enough to know when to back off.
“Nope, not by a long shot. I was just trying to help, that’s all.”
“Do I look like I need help?” Jed asked.
Casey considered his brother, trying to be objective. Tanned and strong, Jed was a good-looking guy, but there was no denying that the burdens he’d carried from a young age had taken their toll. Lines bracketed his face and eyes, and there was a seriousness to him now that was at odds with the happy-go-lucky person he’d been before their parents died.
But Casey had been different then, too. They all had.
“Fair enough,” Casey said, holding up both hands to show he was conceding. “Point taken.”
“Did you come in here just to bust my balls or was there something else?” Jed asked.
“I need to talk to you guys about wages,” Casey said.
“Sit,” Jed said, pointing to the two battered chairs against the wall.
He and Sierra sat and Casey explained how tight things were, how the latest fence repairs had pushed their account at Big Z Hardware back up past a point he wasn’t comfortable with, and how he was worried that the reason the automatic waterer had failed was because their reticulation system was so old now, it was close to collapse. Given that it had been installed by their father nearly twenty years ago, it wasn’t an unexpected problem—but it was definitely an expensive one if it turned out they needed to replace the whole thing.
“I’m happy not to take a wage,” Jed volunteered when Casey was done.
Sierra shook her head. “No. We agreed no one was making that kind of sacrifice again. We’ll all take a cut. It’s not like we’re living it up on caviar and lobster. We can live cheaply enough if we’re careful.”
“What about your flight hours?” Jed asked.
Sierra shrugged. “So I pull back for a while. I can start clocking hours again when things ease up. And Jack’s still throwing me hours when he can, although Gideon’s been spending a lot more time in Helena lately.”
Casey shifted in his chair. He’d always hated the fact that Gideon Tate’s private pilot had taken Sierra under his wing. Jack seemed like a decent enough guy, but Casey was not in love with the idea of his sister being beholden in any way to the man who had walked away without a scratch from the accident that had killed Casey’s parents. He knew it was probably irrational—his father’s car had skidded in front of Gideon Tate’s expensive SUV, not the other way around—but it didn’t change the way he felt.
Unfortunately, there was precious little he could do about it when they didn’t have the money to pay Sierra real wages, so there was nothing for him to do except suck it up.
For now, anyway.
“Here’s what I’m thinking—we all go down to half wages for a while, just until we get some stock to market. And I’ll start pressure testing the pipes so we can find out where we stand.”
“That suits me. Maybe we should start looking around for a good price on poly pipe, just in case?” Jed suggested. “If we’re prepared to suck up a long lead time, we might get a good discount.”
“Great idea,” Casey said.
“Leave it with me, I’ll see what I can hunt down,” Sierra said, and neither he nor Jed objected because her Google skills were much better than both of theirs. “Anything else we need to worry about?”
“Nope. Just pray it doesn’t rain before we get the alfalfa in,” Casey said.
They all nodded grimly, then Sierra stood and pulled her gardening gloves from her back pocket.
“Better get back to the battle of the weeds,” she said.
“Wait a second. I wanted to ask you both if you were doing anything tonight?” Casey said.
“When am I ever doing anything?” Jed said.
“I’m around. Why?” Sierra said.
“Eva’s got her presentation tomorrow, and I was thinking it might help her to do a dry run in front of the three of us tonight.”
Sierra nodded, her expression neutral. “Sure, cool. Happy to help out.”
“Ditto,” Jed said.
“Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.”
Sierra flicked her hand dismissively to let him know it wasn’t a big deal before exiting the study. He followed her, troubled by the subtle undercurrent of tension between them since their late night conversation about Eva.
Sierra hadn’t said another word on the subject, and as far as he could tell she’d been just as friendly toward Eva, but there was a certain reserve behind her eyes when she looked at him, as though she was guarding her true thoughts or biting her tongue.
Never in his life did he think he would miss his sister’s take-no-prisoners, well-intentioned nosiness, but it was genuinely weird not to have her in his face, asking for details or offering unsolicited advice.
“Sierra,” he called, catching her as she was about to exit the house.
“What?”
She had one hand on the doorjamb, the other on the door, her expression expectant as she waited for him to speak. He stared at her, but his mind was stupidly blank. He honestly had no idea what to say to allay her concerns. The truth was, she was probably right—he was probably going to be gutted when Eva went back to her real life in LA. But that wasn’t going to stop him being with her in the meantime. Things were too good between them, on every level.
“You should wear a hat. It’s hot out,” he finally said, and Sierra gave him a look.
“No kidding,” she said, then she disappeared through the door.
He slapped his hand against his thigh, frustrated with himself, then headed out to the trailer to deliver his good news. He found Eva sitting outside in her lone camp chair, a frown on her face as she read over what he assumed was a printout of her presentation.
“How’s it coming along?” he asked.
“I think it’s okay, but I lost objectivity many hours ago. The great thing is that I keep finding new typos that I missed previously, so that’s awesome,” she said, lifting her face for his kiss.
As always, she tasted amazing to him, and he instantly wanted more. Her lips clung to his when he moved to break the kiss, her hand closing over his shoulder to hold him in place, and he followed her lead as she stretched the moment out.
Her eyes were a smoky, hazy blue when they finally came up for air, and he knew she was thinking of getting him naked and the things she wanted to do to him.
Heat pooled in his crotch, but he made an effort to ignore his libido and concentrate on mo
re important things.
“Do you still want to go over your presentation tonight?”
“Yes, please. I need you to be my guinea pig so you can tell me if it’s too long, or too boring, or if I’ve missed anything out,” she said, the frown back between her eyebrows.
“How about using multiple guinea pigs? Jed and Sierra are both happy to help out after dinner.”
“Really? That’s so nice of them. Are you sure, though? I don’t want to stop them from doing something that’s actually fun,” Eva said, her expression both hopeful and concerned at the same time.
“Jed never has fun, and Sierra had no plans for tonight, so don’t sweat it,” he assured her.
She gave him a warm look. “Thank you for recruiting them, even though I am now super nervous about doing my run-through in front of them.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said.
“It is to me,” she said.
He’d be lying if he pretended he didn’t get off on the way she was looking at him right now—as though he’d hung the moon and the stars just for her. The truth was, he wanted her to be happy, and there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to make it happen.
“What time is your appointment tomorrow?” he asked.
“Two, at the library again.”
“I can rearrange a few things so I can drive you into town if you’d like,” he offered.
“You don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine once it’s all happening. I just need to get to the point where I can’t change anything else. Then I can stop second-guessing myself.”
“The offer is there if you want it.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
She reached out and tucked a finger behind his belt, using it to pull him closer. Her face was level with his groin and she leaned forward to press a kiss against his fly, her eyes lifting to his naughtily.
“I feel like you deserve a reward for being so supportive and thoughtful.”
“Virtue is its own reward. I’m pretty sure they taught us that in Sunday school,” he said.
The Rebel and the Cowboy (The Carmody Brothers Book 2) Page 15