Casey wasn’t going to be the one who caused the house of cards to fall. He wasn’t going to bail out just when his family needed him to be all in. He wouldn’t do it to his brothers and sister. He couldn’t.
He blinked a couple of times, avoiding eye contact with his bandmates. Then Wyatt’s hand landed on his shoulder.
“Buddy. We’re not running off to Nashville without you. If you can’t be a famous rock star with us, what’s the point?” Wyatt said.
“I don’t want you guys missing out on something great because of my circumstances,” Casey said. “Tell them you’ll do a showcase next month, and we’ll find someone good to replace me. I’ll keep coming to rehearsals, we can do some gigs, bed the new guy in.”
Even Rory was shaking his head now. “Case, come on. Be real. You’re the heart of this band. Your voice is our sound. And even if it wasn’t, I’m not up for replacing you with some asshole off of Craigslist.”
“Come on—he might not be an asshole. You’re not even giving this guy a chance,” Casey said.
No one smiled at his joke.
“We don’t want another singer, Casey,” Danny said. “We agreed at the start that the Shots were about the music first. I’m not trashing fifteen years of friendship because some guy dangled a carrot in front of us.”
“Agreed,” Wyatt said.
“Agreed,” Rory said.
Casey had to look at his boots again then, because his eyes were burning and his throat was thick with emotion. After a second he managed to get a grip on himself.
“I don’t want to be the one holding you guys back.”
“You’re not. We’ll keep playing gigs, doing our thing. Maybe we’ll get another shot at some point, and you’ll be in a position to take it then,” Wyatt said with a shrug.
“Maybe we won’t,” Casey pointed out. “What if this is it?”
“We’re not doing it without you, Casey,” Danny said.
There was no arguing with his tone, and Casey looked from face to face and saw that his friends were united in their decision to stand by him, even if it meant turning down what might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
“I don’t know what to say. This wasn’t how I thought this would play out,” he admitted.
“You think we’re that hungry for fame? Fuck you,” Wyatt joked. “Even Rory isn’t that desperate.”
They all laughed, but Casey could feel how hard everyone was working to keep things light.
“Hey. I thought you guys would still be jamming.”
Casey turns to see Eva in the doorway, her slim form silhouetted by the outside light.
“Hey,” he said, walking over to greet her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, needing to feel her warmth and strength.
She frowned as she looked up into his face. “What’s wrong?” she asked quietly.
“Later, okay?” he said, because he knew without a doubt he’d disgrace himself if he told her what had happened now.
“All right,” she said, then she squeezed him tight.
He released her reluctantly, turning back to his bandmates.
“We about done for the night?” he asked.
“I reckon so,” Danny agreed.
They all greeted Eva, and she helped them pack up, the vibe subdued. He felt like he was holding his breath as they said their goodbyes and made their way out to the van.
Never in his life had he been so glad to leave band practice, and he sat in the passenger seat of Eva’s shitty van and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to get a grip on his thoughts and feelings.
“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” Eva asked, her voice thin with worry.
“Let’s get out of here first,” Casey said.
He wound down the window and let the moist night air flow into the van as she headed for home. It smelled like rain and dirt and he breathed in big lungfuls and tried to get a grip on himself.
Eva drove for a few minutes without talking, then she pulled over on the side of the road and killed the engine.
“Talk to me, Casey Carmody,” she ordered.
He tilted his head back against the headrest and exhaled loudly. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?” she asked.
“No. Not a fight.” He sighed. “Rory was contacted by this big-shot Nashville producer today, and he invited the guy to practice without telling any of us.”
“Oh boy.”
“Yeah, it didn’t go over well, but then this guy shows up and it turns out he’s really connected and he told us he loves our sound and loves ‘Song for Eva’ and wants to hear more. So we play for him, and he says more good things and offers us a showcase in Nashville.”
“This all sounds not so terrible so far. What’s a showcase?”
“It’s a private gig, with lots of industry heavyweights. Competing labels, managers, whatever. In theory, if they like what they hear, we get offered a recording contract.”
Eva’s face was intent as she listened, taking it all in.
“Okay. That all sounds pretty exciting.”
He sighed again. He hadn’t told her about the ranch’s money problems, although he suspected she’d picked up a few clues here and there. Still, he hated having to explain again. It all felt too raw still.
“I can’t go running off to Nashville. Not with the way things are with the ranch right now. Money is tight. Really tight. We can’t afford to replace my labor.”
Eva frowned. “But—”
“No buts. This is just the way it is.”
“You wouldn’t need that much time off to go to Nashville. What, a week? Would that really break the bank?” she asked. “I’d be happy to help out, as long as you didn’t need me to ride a horse or lasso anything.”
She smiled, inviting him to be amused at her expense, but he was too tense.
“It’s not just about the showcase. They’ll want us to record an album. That could take weeks. Before they release anything, they’d want us to tour, probably sign us up to support some big name act. They’d want us to commit, Eva, and I can’t do that. I’m already committed to the ranch.”
“Okay, I understand what you’re saying. But surely there’s some wiggle room in this? Surely you and Jesse and Sierra and Jed could work something out so you could make this work?”
Casey shook his head. “I’m not putting that on them.”
“Sorry?”
“I’m not asking my brothers and sister to drive themselves into the ground so I can go off and play rock star.” It came out sounding harsher than he meant it to and he shook his head. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ve thought about all this a lot and there’s no way to make it work.”
She stared at him, and he could see the wheels turning, knew she was still busily trying to find a solution that meant he could have his cake and eat it, too.
“Obviously I don’t know Jed and Sierra as well as you, and I don’t know Jesse at all, but I think they’d be really pissed if they learned you’d turned down an opportunity like this because of them,” she said.
“Like I said, I’m not putting that on them.”
She opened her mouth to say more, and Casey leaned across to kiss her.
“I love that you want to fix this for me, babe, but it is what it is.”
She frowned. “So, what did the guys do when you told them all of this?”
“I offered to help them find a new lead singer—”
“Casey.”
“—and they told me they didn’t want to do it without me.”
She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to.
“I know. They’ll probably hate me for it eventually,” he said. “So I probably just destroyed The Whiskey Shots. It’s been a great night.”
He heard a click, then Eva was shrugging out of her seat belt and climbing across the center console to sit in his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his, her
arms tight around his shoulders. He pressed his face into the soft skin where her neck became her shoulder and breathed in the smell of her—perfume and laundry detergent and Eva.
Neither of them said anything for a long moment, then she lifted her head and caught his face in her hands. Her gaze was solemn as she looked at him.
“Don’t go killing your chickens before they’re hatched,” she said. “Those boys love you, and you make beautiful music together. It’s not the end of anything, not by a long shot.”
He nodded, even though he wasn’t convinced. She might be right. He hoped she was. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without the band. It had become an integral part of his life, as important to him as the ranch and his family and the woman in his arms.
A car drove past then, the flare of its headlights a shock after the quiet darkness, and Eva disengaged herself from him and slid back behind the wheel. The van squealed to life, its fan belt making his ears ache before it settled down and she pulled back out onto the highway.
She didn’t say anything more, and he was grateful for the silence. Not that his own thoughts were a treat right now, but he was all talked out.
It wasn’t long before she was bumping along the drive and turning into the yard. She stepped on the brakes hard when she saw an unfamiliar truck and trailer where she normally parked.
“Visitors?” she asked, glancing across at him.
Casey stared at his brother’s rig and tried to be pleased when all he wanted to do was go to bed with the woman beside him and lose himself in the softness of her body.
“It’s Jesse and CJ,” he said.
Then he reached for the door handle and put his game face on, because there wasn’t anything else he could do.
Chapter Sixteen
Eva watched Casey climb out of her van, her chest aching with worry for him. It was so obvious to her that Casey belonged on a stage, singing his heart out. The way he came to life up there, the songs he wrote… He was a musician, through and through. And yes, he might be a cowboy, too, but that didn’t mean he had to sacrifice one for the other.
That was the way Casey saw it, though, and Eva didn’t have enough knowledge of the sort of financial hole the ranch was in to begin to counterarguments he’d obviously spent days, if not weeks, brooding over.
The people who held that knowledge were his family, and she knew in her heart that Sienna and Jed would fight tooth and nail to ensure Casey could follow his dream.
But he wasn’t going to give them the chance to do that. He wasn’t going to share his good news with them, he was just going to stifle it and bury it and go on being the hardworking, dedicated brother they knew and loved.
It was noble and infuriating and so misguided—and Eva had no idea how to talk sense to him. He’d all but shut her down just now when she’d tried to provide alternative ways of looking at the situation. She understood where that came from—he’d steeled himself to do what had to be done, and he didn’t want to go over ground he’d already covered a hundred times in his own mind. But if he wouldn’t talk to her or let himself consider another way of looking at his situation, how was she supposed to help him see sense?
She had no idea, but if she didn’t hustle, she was going to be walking into the house alone. Casey was already halfway up the porch steps and she slid out of the van and walk-ran across the yard to catch up with him.
“Is this normal, your brother dropping in like this with no notice?” she asked as Casey reached for the front door handle.
“Hasn’t happened before. Hope everything’s all right.”
The voices emanating from the kitchen told them where the action was at, and the moment they entered, it was clear that things were not all right. An athletic-looking woman Eva assumed was CJ was seated at the kitchen table, her left arm in a sling, a dark-haired cowboy hovering over her solicitously. Eva would have known him as a Carmody anywhere—he had the same green eyes, dark hair and cheekbones as his brothers while also possessing a lean edginess that marked him apart from them.
“Casey,” CJ said when she spotted them, standing and instantly making Eva feel like a malnourished eight-year-old.
The woman was an Amazon warrior come to life, with broad shoulders and toned legs shown off to perfection by tight jeans, and her smile was broad and infectious as she pulled Casey into a one-armed hug.
“Save me from your brother. He’s driving me crazy,” she said, shooting an affectionate look over her shoulder.
Jesse smiled faintly and shook his head. “The doctor said to rest. If I have to stand over you with a bullhorn and a whip, that’s what’s going to happen.”
CJ’s focus shifted to Eva, her brown eyes warm with interest. “You’re Eva, right? I’m CJ. Great to meet you.”
The other woman’s handshake was firm and strong.
“You, too. I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” Eva said as Jesse stepped forward to shake her hand as well.
“Good to meet you, Eva.”
“Okay, I’ll ask, since no one is volunteering. What happened to your arm?” Casey asked.
“Broke my wrist. It’s not a big deal,” CJ said.
Casey looked to Jesse.
“Got crushed against the rail in the chute,” Jesse explained. “Still gave the nod, though.”
There was reluctant respect in his tone.
“Wait—are you saying you broke your wrist and then still went on to ride a bronco?” Eva asked, sure she was misunderstanding.
“It didn’t really hurt until afterward,” CJ said with a pragmatic shrug.
“That’s why we came home,” Jesse said dryly. “I cannot keep this woman still. I figured she’d have less chance of doing something risky if we were back here.”
“Does that mean you’re missing some dates on the tour?” Casey asked.
Jesse nodded. “Shouldn’t hurt us in the standings. As of last weekend, we both qualified for Vegas.”
“Hey, that’s fantastic,” Casey said, slapping his brother on the back. “Congratulations, CJ. Pretty kick-ass, making finals in your first year on the pro circuit.”
“Took me three,” Jesse said. There was quiet pride and unashamed affection in his eyes as he looked at his partner.
It was more than enough to make Eva fall instantly in like with this new Carmody brother. She had first-hand experience that not a lot of men were prepared to share the limelight with their partners, especially when they were in the same field. But here was a man openly and generously supporting his woman, even though she was his actual competitor.
“Getting into the finals is one thing, bringing home the title is another,” CJ said. “That’s why I’m going to be following doctor’s orders so I make a full recovery.”
“So why did I catch you trying to hitch the trailer this morning?” Jesse asked.
“With my right hand,” CJ clarified.
“I’m going to buy a dictionary in town tomorrow so you can look up the word ‘rest,’” Jesse said.
“You do that, cowboy,” CJ said with a cheeky glint in her eye.
The hurried slam of the front door and the sound of fast-moving boots announced Sierra’s arrival, and she skidded to a halt in the doorway.
“Why are you here? Is everything okay? Oh my God, what did you do to your arm?” she asked.
Jed appeared behind her, taking in the scene with his usual quiet calm.
“Broken or sprained?” he asked simply when he caught CJ’s eye.
“Broken. But not badly,” CJ said. “Good to see you, Jed.”
They hugged, then Sierra flung her arms around the other woman.
“Do I want to know how this happened?” she asked when she stepped back from the embrace.
“Probably not,” Jesse said. “Nice to see you, too.”
Sierra rolled her eyes and gave her brother a big hug. “Yeah, yeah. I saw you there. I was getting around to saying hello. CJ gets priority because she’s injured. And a superhero.”
Eva glanced at
Casey to see how he was taking all this. He was at the counter, slightly removed from the others, arms crossed over his chest. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes weren’t and she had to fight the urge to go to him and wrap her arms around him.
“You guys eaten?” he said. “Eva and I were going to make mac and cheese for dinner if you want in?”
“I could eat a horse and cart,” CJ admitted.
“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Casey said easily.
Eva joined him, ferrying ingredients from the pantry and fridge to the counter before filling up the largest pot with hot water and setting it on to boil.
The next hour flew by as the Carmodys caught up with each other’s news. Eva sat beside Casey at the table and listened to the laughter and tried to give back as good as she got, but the whole time she was aware of how tightly Casey was holding himself. She felt bruised for him, and more than anything she wanted right the wrongs in his world, but it wasn’t in her power to do that.
In wasn’t in her power to do much of anything, really, except be there to listen and offer comfort as needed.
That was the hard part about loving someone—feeling their pain, and being unable to do anything about it.
She went very still as she registered the thought. Then she looked at the man sitting next her, noting the way he was focused on his sister as she said something, a small almost-smile on his lips. His dark hair was touched with golden brown on the tips from all his time outdoors, his skin tanned by the sun.
He was beautiful, and talented, and so bighearted and sweet.
Of course she loved him. She’d been falling in love with him from the moment she met him, and every day since she’d fallen a little harder, a little deeper.
He caught her looking at him and raised his eyebrows. She gave a little shake of her head to indicate it wasn’t anything important, and he slipped his arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss onto her lips.
When she tuned back into the conversation, she saw that Jesse was watching them from across the table.
She understood his curiosity—she was curious about him and CJ, too. These people were Casey’s family, important to him, and, by extension, important to her.
The Rebel and the Cowboy (The Carmody Brothers Book 2) Page 22