by E. L. Todd
“You’re taking me out to dinner? Coming over to spend time with me? Giving me some lovin’?”
He chuckled. “I know I’ve neglected you lately but now I’m free as a bird.”
“Did you win the trial?”
“Hell yeah, I did.”
“Awe, congratulations.”
“It was a slam dunk. I put that fucker behind bars for life. I tried for the death sentence but was rejected. But I’ll take what I got.”
Now I understood why Kyle only took cases involving sexual assault. After what happened to his sister, he wanted to stop it from happening to anyone else. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks. I worked really hard on this case. I hardly got any sleep.”
“Then come over. I’ll give you a massage.”
“Ooh…with oil?”
“Sure.”
“What if I can’t afford to pay you? Will I have to do something else?”
I laughed into the phone. “This isn’t a bad porno scenario.”
“Oh, come on. I think it’d be hot.”
“How about you just come here and we’ll have sex? Right to the point.”
“Not too sexy but whatever,” he said. “I haven’t gotten laid in a week.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Well, I’ll be there soon.”
“K.”
***
Kyle unbuttoned the jacket of his suit and tossed it on a chair.
I hardly ever saw him in a suit because he never worked. It looked great on him, fitting his broad shoulders nicely. Whenever we went out together, he always wore jeans and a t-shirt.
He removed everything, stripping down to his boxers. “I’m so glad to take off this stuffy suit. I’ve been wearing one every single day this week.”
“I love my work uniform.”
“I’d wear that any day.” When his clothes were kicked aside, he wrapped his arms around me then leaned into me. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
He gave me a slow kiss, one that wasn’t rushed. He took his time even though we hadn’t been together in a while. “How about I take you out to dinner after sex? I don’t think I can sit through an entire meal and not picture you naked.”
“That works for me.”
He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down to my ankles. He took a knee and slowly helped me out of them, my hands gripping his shoulders for balance. He kissed my thighs until he reached the apex of my thigh. His lips pressed a wet kiss on the lace of my panties before his hands pulled them down.
I gripped his shoulders tighter and felt his lips moved to the same spot, kissing the sensitive skin. Kyle was a great lover and pleased his partner as much as himself.
He rose to his feet then gripped my shirt. Slowly, he pulled it over my head and tossed it on the ground. His hands moved to the clasp of my bra, and with experienced fingers, he unclasped it immediately. It slowly slipped off my shoulders until it hit the ground.
He looked at my naked body, appreciating it like he always did. When his eyes took in my tits, he stopped and stared at the hollow of my throat. The skin was bare and unblemished. The locket was gone and he immediately noticed it was absent. His eyes traveled to mine, his thoughts easier to read than a book. “You’re mine.”
***
Weeks turned into months. The height of summer had changed to the end, just before fall arrived. Around the corner were the holidays, looming over our heads. I couldn’t forget how I spent my last Christmas, and I knew the next one would be completely different.
Kyle and I allowed our relationship to grow, and now that the locket was gone, Kyle had mellowed out. Hawke didn’t make an appearance like I suspected, and Kyle was even more happy about that.
It was just he and I.
We were together every day after work, and on the weekends, we went bike riding or hiking. Sometimes, we went to ball games or bowling. I met a few of his friends and even came to his office to meet the rest of his staff. Everything was great.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about Hawke.
He wasn’t in my mind all the time, but he did cross my thoughts from time to time. I hoped he was doing well and hadn’t reverted back to his dark ways. I hoped he would find a nice girl that could make him happy the way Kyle made me happy. After the pain we both experienced, we deserved to experience joy.
Axel and Marie had dinner with us at a fondue place. The four of us went out often and always had a good time. It was hard to believe Hawke used to be the fourth member of our group. He disappeared off the face of the earth. Axel never mentioned him and neither did I.
“Baby, let’s get the cheddar cheese.” Axel eyed his menu.
“Sure,” Marie said. “I don’t care what kind. I’ll eat that shit so quick.”
Kyle had his arm around my shoulders, where he usually rested it. “What are you thinking?”
“How about the spicy pepper jack?”
“I think that’s an excellent idea.” He grabbed both menus and placed them at the end of the table.
“What’s new with you guys?” I asked. It was a stupid question since we talked to them all the time.
“Nothing much,” Axel said. “The stock market has been good.”
“Cool,” I said.
“Gwyneth Paltrow came into the office the other day,” Marie said. “She’s going to be on the front cover in the fall.”
“Really?” I asked in surprise. “Did you meet her?”
“No,” Marie said with a sigh. “But I saw her from, like, five feet away. She’s way skinnier is person than in pictures, if you can believe it. I hardly eat and I’m still not that skinny.”
“Then maybe you should eat,” Axel jabbed.
“Not now,” she said without looking at him. “Kyle, what’s up with you?”
“I’ve spent most of my time with Francesca. When she’s at work, I go golfing with my buddies.” He took a drink of his beer.
“You have the best life ever,” Axel said.
Kyle chuckled. “I’m waiting for a case I really want. I don’t like to take them unless I’m invested.”
“That’s good for the client,” Marie said. “They have the best lawyer possible.”
“Thanks,” Kyle said. “Actually, I have other news.”
“What?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
Kyle pulled a brochure out of his pocket. “How about a trip to Bermuda? Just you and I.”
“Bermuda?” I couldn’t quiet the gasp that escaped my throat. “I don’t even know where that is.”
He chuckled. “It’s near the Caribbean. Very tropical.”
“Oh my god.” I snatched the brochure out of his hands. “That sounds like so much fun.”
“You’re on board then?”
“Hell yes.” I flipped through the pages and liked it more and more.
“When can you get time off of work?” he asked.
“Uh…” It was difficult for me to take off whenever I wanted because I didn’t have anyone to cover for me. “Maybe in a month.”
“A month?” he asked sadly. “That’s forever away.”
“I know,” I said. “But I can’t just leave without preparing for it.”
“Alright. I’ll wait…for you.” He wiggled his eyebrows then kissed me on the cheek. “It’ll be fun.”
“I’m so jealous,” Marie said. “Axel and I haven’t been anywhere since our honeymoon.”
“Because you’re a workaholic,” Axel argued.
“You’re a workaholic too,” she countered.
“Not like you,” he said. “I’d love to take you somewhere tropical. You know, where you can wear a thong bathing suit.”
Marie laughed. “You would flip if I wore something like that in public.”
“Not when we’re on vacation.” Axel took a drink of his beer.
Marie shook her head as she looked at me. “I’m going to go to the bathroom and wash my hands before we eat.
”
“I’ll go with you.” I set the brochure on the table then slid out of the booth.
Kyle gave me a playful smack on the ass before I walked away. “Hurry.”
I rolled my eyes then walked with Marie to the bathroom. I actually had to pee so I went inside a stall and did my business. Marie stood in front of the mirror and touched up her make up.
“He’s so obsessed with me working,” Marie said. “He wants me to quit and be a housewife.”
I flushed the toilet then left the stall. “Really?” I got to the sink then washed my hands. “I didn’t realize he cared so much.”
“He’s been pressuring me for a year. He says he makes enough money that I don’t need to work.”
“Is that true?”
“Well, it is.” She cleaned up the smudged eyeliner around her eyes. “But I like my job. I don’t want to quit.”
“Then don’t.” I patted my hands dry with the paper towel. “Do what you want, Marie.”
“I know… I just know we want to have kids soon.”
“Really?” I couldn’t keep the hope out of my voice. The idea of being an aunt sent me to the moon.
“Yeah, and I don’t know how I’m going to do both,” she said with a sigh. “I’m afraid Axel might get his way.”
“Well, you don’t need to decide right this second. Think about it.”
“I guess.” She washed her hands and looked at me in the mirror. “Bermuda, huh? You two will have so much fun.”
“We’ll have a blast.” The only other time I’d been on vacation was with Hawke. I tried not to think about it because it wasn’t fair to Kyle. Hawke was such an important person in my life even though I didn’t see him anymore, but I couldn’t keep thinking about him. I had to try to forget him. Kyle deserved that.
“I’m jealous,” Marie said. “You guys will have a great time. You need a vacation anyway. You work more than all three of us combined.”
I was ashamed to admit that. “I know. But I love it…”
“I’m not judging you, girl.” She squeezed me affectionately on the shoulder before she walked to the door. “Now let’s go eat a big ass pot of cheese.”
Bad Day
Hawke
Someone started banging on my front door. “Dude, open the door right now. I need to talk to you ASAP.” Axel kept knocking, using both knuckles against the wood.
I was sitting on the couch drinking a beer, which is how I spent most of my free time. “I’m coming. Chill out.”
“No, this is important. Hurry the hell up.”
Marie must be pregnant. I can’t think of any other reason for the urgency. I got the door open then headed back to the couch. “Axel, you’ll be a great dad. Just calm down.” It was hard for me to get excited about anything anymore. I had the perfect life but threw it away.
“What?” Axel asked. “I’ll be a great dad?”
“Isn’t Marie pregnant? Is that what’s so important?”
“No, not that I know of. But that would be pretty cool…” His mind started to drift away. “We’ve been talking about having kids soon. I’d love to have a little girl that looks just like her.”
I was glad Axel was happy, but his joy only reminded me of the woman I lost. “Good for you.” I held the cold beer in my fingers, gripping it for dear life.
Axel snapped out of it. “No, that’s not what I came here to tell you.” He plopped down on the couch beside me.
“What’s up?”
He was desperate to get inside my house, but now that he was there, he was hesitant. “I…I know I should stay out of this and just leave it alone but something tells me you need to hear this.”
It was about Francesca.
Was she getting married?
Was she pregnant?
I didn’t want to know.
“I remember what you guys had and…I can’t believe both of you are going to let it fade away.”
“It’s been two months since I’ve spoken to her, Axel. It has faded away.”
“No, it hasn’t. You still love her and she still loves you.”
“Love isn’t enough.” Not this time.
“Well…” He fidgeted with his hands nervously. “We were out to dinner last night and the girls went to the restroom. That’s when Kyle cornered me and…asked my permission to propose to Francesca.”
I bowed my head and felt like someone shot me in the stomach. Just when I thought I was numb, more pain emerged from deep below. I hated picturing her with him, knowing she should be with me. Anytime I imagined her in her mother’s wedding dress, she was marrying me—not anyone else. The loss was traumatizing.
Axel stared at me, like he expected me to say something.
“Good for her…”
“What?” Axel blurted. “That’s your response?”
“What do you want me to say? I thought you liked Kyle. Why are you telling me this?”
“I do like Kyle. He’s a really cool guy and he treats Francesca like a damn princess. I have nothing but respect for him. But…I know she doesn’t love him. She’s fond of him, of course. But she doesn’t look at him the way I look at Marie. I want my sister to be happy, not to settle.”
I stared at my beer and felt my heart slow to a dangerous pace. “What do you want me to do? She chose him. She made it perfectly clear what she wants.”
“Because she’s scared of getting hurt again. Convince her that won’t happen.”
“You think I haven’t tried?” I asked sarcastically. “I did everything I possibly could. Nothing worked.”
Axel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I’ve learned to let it go. You need to do the same.”
“It’s just…” His fingers kept moving through his hair.
“Kyle is a great guy. Francesca will be happy.” And I’ll be miserable until the day I die.
Axel dropped his hand. “I know this is a weird thing to say, but if my mom were here, she would tell Francesca to be with you.”
Of all the things I expected him to say, that wasn’t one of them. I turned his way, unsure if he really said those words.
“I know my mom never met you. But I just know my mom would tell her to forgive you, to be with the man she really loves, not the one who’s safe. My mom was a hopeless romantic and saw the good in people when no one else could. But she was always right about everything. I’m sure she would like Kyle too but…she would want you to marry Francesca. You have the kind of love my mom would have wanted for Francesca. She’s not here anymore so I have to say this girly, mushy crap.”
“Why don’t you say this to Francesca?”
“It’s too late now. It’ll be totally random and out of the blue.”
“Then why should I say something?”
“Because it’ll never be random or out of the blue when it comes from you.” He gripped his knees like he didn’t know what else to do. “Come on, you have to do something.”
I picked at the label on my beer, unsure what I could possibly do to win her back.
“Hawke, you were going to propose to her. Maybe you can do that now.”
“That won’t work.” If anything, that would just piss her off.
“You are going to do something, right?”
“I don’t know…”
“Kyle is taking her to Bermuda in a month. That’s where he’s going to do it. So, you have a month to figure it out.”
I would need a lifetime to convince her.
“And if she says yes to Kyle, then that’s it.” His voice carried the devastation he felt. “I know her. If she commits to something, she won’t change her mind about it even if she’s unhappy. If you wait too long, you’ll lose your chance for good. This is your last window.”
I set the beer on the coffee table then rubbed my temple.
“Think.”
“Axel, it’s not that easy. I said and did everything I possibly could to get her back. The only way I’ll make this work is if I march into the
bakery and kiss her hard on the mouth. The second we touched, she’ll cave. I would take her right there on the counter in her kitchen. Kyle would leave her and she would be mine.”
Despite the awkward topic, Axel didn’t say anything. “Then why don’t you do that?”
“I respect her too much.”
“Now isn’t the time for respect.”
“I would never force her to betray someone else, even if it is Kyle. She would loathe herself forever. I don’t want her to carry that. She values her integrity.”
Axel sighed in irritation. “Then you better think of something else.”
I was out of ammunition. I did everything I could to win her back, but nothing was good enough. I broke her trust and I couldn’t repair it. It was too late. All I had left was the ring I bought her and the journal I’d been keeping for three years. Those were the only things that remained.
I went into my bedroom and pulled out the journal and the ring. When I came back to the couch, I pulled out my pocketknife and flipped to the last entry.
“What are you doing?”
“My last attempt.” There were fifty blank pages in the back, and I cut a small square through all the pages. Then I placed the engagement ring inside.
Axel watched me.
I grabbed a pen, and despite Axel staring at me, I wrote my final words of love. This was all I had left, and I wasn’t sure if it would be enough. If she read my journal, she would know, together or apart, I loved her every day since I met her. I shut the journal then handed it to Axel. “Give that to her.”
“What is it?” He felt the black leather covering.
“My journal.”
“And why are you giving it to her?”
Francesca would understand—and only Francesca. “Just give it to her.”
An Unexpected Gift
Francesca
I just finished vacuuming when there was a knock on the door. I knew it wasn’t Kyle because he was having dinner with his mom in The Hamptons. It might be Marie but she usually texted me before she came by.
After looking through the peephole, I opened the door to Axel. “What’s up?” My hair was in a ponytail and I wore sweatpants. I expected Axel to make a joke about my appearance, but he didn’t.
“Is Kyle here?”