by Jerry Cole
“I’m going to ask you something really crazy,” Sage finally said, putting her bottle down on the coffee table in front of her. “Feel free to say no, okay? Feel free to say I’m insane or whatever.”
He tilted his head as he watched her. “I’m really curious now.”
“Well,” she said. “So, this is about my brother. You remember my brother, right?”
“Hmm,” Trevor said. “Tall, cute, and nerdy?”
“That’s the one,” she replied. “So, listen, he kind of has this plan. I don’t know how on board you’re gonna be with this plan but—”
“Lay it on me,” Trevor said. “If it involves a cute guy, you should know I’m usually up for it.”
Sage groaned, rolling her eyes.
“No pun intended,” Trevor said, smiling.
“Okay, so my brother, he kind of wants to start dating a man,” Sage said. “Because my parents—”
“You didn’t say this gig was prostitution, Sage,” Trevor replied, his eyes widening. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Was he coming across as this desperate to his roommate? He should probably keep his financial problems to himself a little more. “I’m not really cool with that.”
“No, it’s not like that,” she said. “I’m saying it wrong. Basically, our parents won’t get off his back, and he needs an excuse so they stop asking him to have children.”
“I feel like I’m getting into some deep shit with this,” Trevor replied. “I don’t know, Sage. Are you sure this is a good idea?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s not terrible, for what it’s worth. You probably wouldn’t hate hanging out with him.”
He laughed. “I don’t think that sounds nearly as encouraging as you think it does.”
“Just meet with him, okay? For one meal. That’s all you have to do. One meal,” she said. “Then you never have to see him again and I look like a good sister.”
He shook his head. “I barely have any time to do anything as it is,” he said. “What makes you think this is something I want to do?”
“He’ll buy you food,” she said. “Expensive food. Worse comes to worst, you get some free food out of it. You love free food, don’t you?”
“Sure,” he said. “I still don’t know about this.”
“I’ll clean the bathrooms for the month,” she said. “Both of them.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You will?”
“Look, he seemed so desperate, okay? He really needs to talk to someone or something, I don’t know. Can you do this for me, please?”
“Fine,” he replied. “One dinner. Only because I love you.”
“Thank you,” she said. “You’re the best. And I love you too. Do you want another beer?”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
She smiled at him.
“Oh, okay,” he said. “Go ahead, then. I’m not going to say no to free beer.”
Chapter Seven
Basil wasn’t sure of what he was expecting when he walked through the doors of the franchise restaurant that was only a slight step up from a fast food joint. He let Trevor decide where they were going to have their first meeting because he wanted to be on Trevor’s turf. He knew it might have been a better idea to go to a restaurant he frequented, but he had also thought that would be a little bit unfair. Trevor should get to decide if he genuinely wanted to do this, and bringing him along to anywhere where Basil would have an advantage wasn’t the honorable thing to do. Plus, and he hated admitting this to himself, there was also a part of him that wanted him to fail. Basil knew the idea was crazy. He knew the idea had been crazy from the moment he thought about it. Speaking to his sister had solidified how strange it was. In theory, he knew the best thing to do would be to stand up to his parents. If he could just tell them to back off, his life would be so much easier.
He shook his head. No, it wouldn’t. He could tell them to back off and they might, eventually. But at first, they would push him more and more. He would probably give in. He had always given in to what his parents wanted. They did know best, at least most of the time. It also wasn’t that he didn’t want to do what his parents wanted him to do; he just didn’t want to do it when he was only twenty-five. Eventually, maybe. Right then, the pressure felt crushing. He hated it. If this was what he had to do to get them off his back, then it was what he was going to do.
He scanned the restaurant to find Trevor. He had seen him a couple of times before and Sage had been helpful enough to show him a couple of pictures, but he was still not prepared for what he saw. Trevor was sitting in a booth, playing on his phone, and only caught Basil’s gaze because he randomly looked up at the right time. He waved a hand up in the air and Basil’s breath caught in his throat.
Basil hadn’t expected to run into his first logistical problem so quickly. Trevor had done nothing wrong—no, in fact, he looked perfect, sitting there in jeans and a black hoodie with red trim, his eyes huge and bright and a smile on his face. That was the issue. Trevor looked too perfect, like any moment someone was going to come and start taking pictures of him because of course someone that good looking wouldn’t actually be caught eating second-rate hamburgers at this ridiculous restaurant with the checkered place mats and the unlimited fries.
Shit. He should have told Sage to go for someone less good looking.
Trevor cocked his head and he looked questioningly at Basil as Basil shifted his weight. He was starting to freak out. He had already come this far and he wasn’t going to turn back now, especially not when Trevor was looking at him all questioningly. What would Trevor tell his sister? Basil was pretty sure she spoke to her roommate more than she spoke to him.
He swallowed whatever was left of his pride and walked over to the booth where Trevor was waiting for him.
“Hi,” Trevor said, putting his phone face down on the table and flashing him a grin. When he smiled, the skin around his eyes got wrinkled, but it made him look younger somehow.
“Hello,” Basil said. “Have you ordered?”
“Just drinks,” Trevor replied. “I was waiting for you. I don’t know what you like.”
Basil shrugged. “I like whatever. I’m pretty easy to feed,” he replied.
“I feel like I should be writing this down,” Trevor said. “Should I be writing this down?”
“Don’t write it down,” Basil said. “That would be weird. At least before we discuss the terms of our agreement.”
Trevor smiled. “I haven’t agreed to anything yet. Except to be pitched an idea.”
Basil nodded. “Why don’t we order first? I think this might be easier to do for me if I eat first.”
“Sounds good,” Trevor said and his smile turned into a grin. “I’m starving anyway.”
Trevor hadn’t been joking about being hungry. While Basil worked diligently on his chicken caesar salad, Trevor devoured a cheeseburger about the size of his fist.
“I don’t know how much Sage told you,” Basil started after he swallowed down some of his fizzy diet coke.
“Not much,” Trevor said. “Only you wanted like, a beard?”
Basil laughed. “I guess it’s something like a beard. What’s the opposite of a beard?”
Trevor shrugged. “I don’t know. Mermaid hair?”
“What in the world is mermaid hair?”
Trevor smirked, his eyes lighting up, as he dipped one of his fries into a puddle of ketchup on the edge of his plate. “You have much to learn. If you want to pass as one of us.”
“So, you’re in?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor replied, his expression sobering up. “Look, you have to admit, this is kind of weird, right? Like, who the fuck pretends they’re queer?”
“It probably has something to do with the developmental stage I’m stuck in,” Basil said dryly. It made Trevor laugh but Basil wasn’t sure he meant it as a joke. It didn’t matter anyway. Trevor wasn’t his shrink and he didn’t need to act like it.
When Trevor didn’t say
anything, Basil continued speaking. “Look,” he said. “I’m quite aware this is a little weird. Okay, a lot weird. But think of it as something you can put in your acting resume or whatever. Extended performance art.”
“How extended?” Trevor said as he brought the glass of water to his mouth.
“A year,” Basil replied. “Maybe a little bit less. I don’t know. It’s really important it seems believable, okay?”
Trevor’s eyes narrowed and he stared at Basil. “I’m not a prostitute.”
Basil smiled. “Good. I’m not interested in sex. It’s all just pretend, got it? We pretend we go out together. We pretend we break-up. You pretend you’re there for me when I come out to my family,” he said, marking the words ‘come out’ with air quotes. “You can do whatever you actually want to do in your own romantic life because it’s none of my fucking business.”
“So, I can date other people?”
Basil looked up at the ceiling and twisted his lips as he considered this. “As long as you keep it casual, I guess,” he said. “I don’t want anyone to think this arrangement isn’t, y’know, real.”
“So, if I want something serious, I have to tell them in the beginning?”
“No,” Basil replied, his eyes widening. “If you want something serious, I stop paying you and the arrangement ends. This is a job, Trevor, so if you want to quit, of course you can. In the meantime, however, I expect you to fulfill your duties.”
“Which includes not dating other people seriously while I pretend to date you,” Trevor said, more to himself than to Basil. “Seriously date you.”
“Yes,” Basil said. “Now you’re starting to get it. Also, just so you know, I expect you to sign a pretty ironclad NDA.”
“Excellent,” Trevor replied, smiling. “Have you already explained what you need an NDA for to your lawyer?”
Basil shook his head, a lump forming in his throat. He knew Trevor was just teasing him, but the idea of meeting a lawyer and telling him about this filled him with dread.
“Relax,” Trevor said. “I’m sure they’ve heard weirder requests. I used to go out with this wills and probate lawyer and he told me some amazing stories. People leaving one of their kids a television set or something and leaving the other one five million dollars.”
“Yikes,” Basil said.
“I know,” Trevor replied. “My point is, don’t worry about it. Your lawyer has probably seen weirder shit.”
“Thanks,” Basil said, smiling. It was a little weird Trevor would be the one putting him at ease in this situation, but he appreciated it all the same. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to pretend date someone that made him feel good for an entire year. “So, are you in?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor said. “You’ve only told me your terms so far. You haven’t really sold me on the idea. All I know is you want to pretend to be gay, and honestly you could do that by going to a gay club. Any gay club.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Basil said, irritation creeping into his voice. “I need to have a relationship with another man to get them off my back.”
“Okay, well, how weird that sentence was notwithstanding,” Trevor said, grabbing another fry and dipping it into the ketchup. “You’re still telling me what you need instead of why I’m supposed to do this.”
Basil looked Trevor up and down. He didn’t think Trevor was an especially good negotiator, but it wasn’t as if he had been good at pitching his idea to him. He knew that. It still felt weird to try to convince someone else of it when he was already hardly convinced himself.
“I’ll pay you,” Basil said.
“I already have a job,” Trevor said. “Two.”
“I’ll pay you double what you make at the best paying one,” Basil said. “Per hour.”
Trevor’s eyes widened. For the first time since they started eating together, Basil thought he saw some interest from him. “But I’ll work less,” Trevor said, looking away from him. “So, it doesn’t matter. I’ll still make the same.”
“No, I’ll pay you as if you were working forty-hours a week,” Basil said. “No matter how much or how little we see of each other.”
“For a year?”
“For a year. If you don’t break any of the terms of the contract,” Basil said.
“So, if I don’t date anyone else.”
“Yes,” Basil replied. “If you don’t date anyone else.”
“Anything else?”
“You’re basically on call,” Basil said. “Whenever I need a pretend boyfriend, you have to be there.”
“Got it,” Trevor replied. “No sex.”
“Yes,” Basil said. “No sex. Ever. I’m not interested.”
“You can’t share me with your friends.”
Basil’s eyes widened. “Jesus,” he said. “That never even occurred to me.”
“You pay for all our dates,” Trevor said.
“You are my boyfriend,” Basil replied, smiling. “So, are you in?”
Trevor bit his lower lip. “I don’t know, dude. I’m gonna have to think about this.”
Basil groaned. Trevor had just asked him all these questions and he wasn’t even going to answer him right then. Despite the fact Trevor seemed to have taken everything Basil had said in good humor, Basil’s feelings were still a little hurt.
“I can give you more money,” Basil said quietly.
“It’s not about that,” Trevor said. “What if I find someone I like and I’m, y’know, with you?”
“It’s just a year,” Basil replied.
“Yeah,” Trevor said, looking away. “Maybe for you.”
***
After lunch, Basil was reeling. He wasn’t sure why. There was something about meeting Trevor that left him feeling deeply unsettled. It wasn’t the plan. He doubled down on the plan and he knew he was going to carry through even if he didn’t manage to get Trevor on board. He hoped he would, though. Trevor was nice and he enjoyed spending time with him when they only talked about the terms of the contract. He assumed the rest of their ’dates’—he thought about them as dates with quotation marks in his head—would be quite similar to that. Just hanging out with someone who could easily be his friend, one-on-one, and holding hands every now and then to make people in his shit small town start talking. He needed word to reach his parents before he ever introduced them to Trevor. Or to anyone, really, if Trevor wasn’t up for it.
Trevor was too good-looking for him. That much had become clear from the moment Basil had seen him sitting at the booth. Even then, they might get along enough that people wouldn’t find it so strange that someone like Trevor was going out with someone like Basil. Then again, Trevor was an aspiring actor and Basil was a rich heir. That was kind of a match made in heaven.
Maybe. He would have to ask Sage about it.
He was thinking about all these things as he pulled up to the supermarket he was supposed to meet his mother at. They rarely did their shopping together. A housekeeper was in charge of keeping the home well stocked with food anyone in the Walker family would have access to. His mother, however, liked going to the supermarket and getting expensive cheese and wine that would not have been justifiable purchases to put in their weekly shopping list. Basil still wondered why his mother worried about justifiable, when he knew she had a ton of money and spent very little on luxuries, but he knew part of it was she liked spending time with him.
He didn’t mind it. He liked spending time with his mom, she was less overbearing when his father wasn’t around. Sometimes.
Sometimes she was worse.
He parked the car as far away from the store as he could and walked slowly up to the supermarket. He saw his mom’s BMW parked nearby and took a deep breath. He wasn’t used to keeping things from her. Then again, he wasn’t usually forced to keep things from her.
He walked inside and spotted her in the wine aisle.
“Hi,” he said. “Sorry I’m late. Lunch ran a little long.”
“It’s fine
,” she replied, smiling at him. His mother was always immaculately made-up and today was no different. She was wearing beige slacks, red heels, a button-up white shirt, and a silk scarf with a floral print around her neck. Her platinum blonde hair—it had been black, a long time ago, but when she went gray she started to dye it blonde—was cut into a perfect bob that delicately framed her features.
Jennifer Burton would probably end up looking like her. His mother was no stranger to surgeries. Basil knew she’d had a few face lifts and she went to get Botox injections every few months. He didn’t judge her for it. She could do whatever she wanted to her face and her body. He wasn’t sure he would want his wife to want to look like his mother did then. One of the things he had liked most about Katie had been that she was more than willing to go out of the house wearing jeans she hadn’t washed in a week and putting her hair up in a messy bun. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about her appearance because Basil knew she did. She hadn’t overcomplicated it like every girl who he had gone out with when he was in prep school. If he had ever wanted a wife, it would have been someone like Katie.
Not someone like Jennifer Burton.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m totally fine,” Basil replied, wondering why it sounded like a lie. “I kind of had a weird lunch. Do you mind if I call it a day? I think I’m gonna head home and have a nap.”
“Are you feeling sick?” she said, putting the back of her hand against his forehead. He sighed, rolling his eyes.
“I’m fine, Mom,” he said. “Just a little tired. I’m gonna go.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you later.”
The moment Basil turned around, his heart started beating faster. Not out of excitement. He was faced with Jennifer Burton and he had to stop himself from bolting. He wasn’t a teenager anymore and running away from someone in a supermarket wasn’t something he should do. It still took everything he had to stay where he was.
Jennifer waved at him and Basil waved back at her.
“Hi,” she said, walking up to him.
“Hello,” he replied. “Have you met my mother?”